It really doesn't get much better than 80's Horror, does it? Maybe it wasn't the all around best era as far as quality goes, but it was the most fun. The genre was also at it's most marketable, as well. In those days, Horror was everywhere, and at one point, that didn't look to be changing any time soon. So, what the hell happened? Long story short, '88 and '89 happened!
Stepfather II happened, Iced happened, Moonstalker happened! I could go on and on. SO many Horror films were being made by now, and SO many people were making them. Some of these people weren't even directors, and some of the actual directors probably shouldn't have been allowed anywhere near the Horror genre. An abundance of bad Horror is a bad thing, now, you ask? No, not exactly. In '88 and '89, there just wasn't a huge difference between mainstream Horror and B-Horror. It was all cheesy, meant to be more fun than scary, but more often than not, late 80's Horror, in general, was completely uninspired and bland. Just going through the motions, waiting to be put out of its misery before it can ultimately be reborn into something better. Today, we're going to talk about one of the last gasps of breath from the peak of the Horror genre. A useless pile of schlock called Hollow Gate. A movie, I, personally, find very entertaining. Although I'm probably in the minority.
Hollow Gate begins on Halloween, but this isn't exactly a Michael Myersesque story, though, as much as it might be trying to get there. At his own Halloween party, some kid, who sucks at apple bobbing, shames himself and his family by making the mistake of taking a crack at it. Seriously, this kid really sucks. His father, who may or may not be drunk, can only take so much of this, and does what any drunken, abusive father would do in his position: He attempts to drown the little fucker!
If only drunk 'ol dad had succeeded. What happened to Mark Walters that night was apparently the beginning of his descent into madness. The next few scenes only confirm this, as a decade older version is lightly picked on by a couple from school, at the gas station he works at. Mark retaliates by blowing up the car ... while the couple was still in it. I guess Mark has a tendency to overreact. And who knows where he gets that from? So, I guess Mark somehow managed to get away with this murder because we now fast forward another two years, and nothing. Mark now has the hots for some girl whom he wants to take out for ice cream. She's not interested, claiming to not like ice cream, but I think she's just not into guys who look like they might be related to Clint Howard. Mark ... does something to her. It doesn't really show us, but I'm sure it was bad, going by his short track record. And in a shocking twist, Mark, later on, kills his own grandmother. Poor grammy never did Mark wrong, which tells us he's finally made it to full-fledged insanity.
It takes forever for all of this to wrap up and for the story to finally begin, but after a good half hour, we're finally there. We are now introduced to some overwhelmingly bland teenagers, none of which stands out in the least as a potential main character. That task is left solely up to Mark. These characters suck hard and are nothing more than a product of this era in horror. The teens are headed to a Halloween party, but are talked into delivering some costumes to a nearby estate on the way. This estate happens to belong to Mark's grammy, who, as I pointed out, is dead, so, for the time being, this is Mark's estate. Once in there, an electric gate is switched on, keeping everyone within the confines of Mark's weird game where he stalks and kills them in various costumes, not unlike the killer from Class Reunion Massacre.We are never given one reason to give two shits about the victims, so, all we can do is sit back and laugh at these people trying like hell to act like they're scared for their lives. Even for those of us who enjoy bad Horror films, this particular one can be a hard one to tolerate, but it's certainly not devoid of entertainment value. My favorite example being the part where Mark sicked the dogs on the terrified teenagers, and out comes, I shit you not, a couple of Golden Retrievers. Watch as they immediately become the best actors in the movie. Like so many films from this era, Hollow Gate is someone's first and last attempt at filmmaking. Just passing through, seeing if there's anything left to milk out of this dying genre. Perhaps there was for someone. Not for you, Pal. No, not for you. 3/10
#Review
Kenny, Mike, and Tommy are the best of friends, and probably have been since a very young age. Today, Kenny's dad is moving him away, so, the gang is finally being broken up. Kenny's dad has a job which is requiring him to travel, so, not only does the motherless Kenny gets dumped on the grandparents, but he has to start over in a new town and at a new school. The depressed, little fella already felt inadequate, now, he's just lost. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel, albeit a short-lived light. Mike and Tommy plan to visit Kenny, soon, and they already have some plans worked out for the reunion. Here's the thing: Kenny may or may not have thought he was ever going to see these guys again, so, he stretched the truth a bit when writing to them, never thinking he would be found out. However, things always seem to have a way of coming to light, don't they?
So, yeah. In so many words, Kenny has been telling these guys that he's been fucking bitches left and right. Kenny claimed he and some older friends (which don't exist) have been going to Canada and hitting up the whore houses. The lying little virgin pricks, Mike and Tommy, have Kenny convinced they've been fucking bitches, too, and for free. So, Mike and Tommy are very vocal about their expectations, while Kenny has to think of something and quick, or, the guys will think he's a fag, which he kind of is.
Kenny stalls for as long as he can, but the guys manage to drag the obviously hesitant Kenny all the way to Niagara Falls, Canada. After aimlessly leading Mike and Tommy around town, Kenny lucks out and spots an abandoned building, immediately expressing phony outrage about his favorite whore house getting raided. Nice save! I'll give him that, but now, Mike is all hot and bothered and dead set on some pussy, which means the hunt continues. Hey, at least Kenny is off the hook to make this happen. Getting found out is the only reason he was scared, I guess. Kenny now seems ready for a little ass, if at all possible. Tommy appears to be the only one that's not into this. As we later learn, it's because he wants to save himself for marriage, and is too scared to admit it out of fear of the guys thinking he's a fag. The three boys stumble upon a whore house-bar, and over zealously follows out a woman, thinking she's a hooker. The woman is played by a young Jaqueline Bisset, before she learned to act, apparently. Poor girl was playing the role of a seemingly sweet person, but comes off cold and unfriendly due to wooden acting. The guys don't care about personality or acting. Only pussy. Except Tommy. Tommy is literally about to piss himself because of all this.
The boys' new friend, Anna, is just some chick looking to get through the border so she can get in touch with some married man she's been sleeping with. As the boys persuade Anna back to their hotel room, they nervously try to decide how to approach this unsuspecting woman who has given zero indication that she is a prostitute. One of them shows that he's all talk and always has been, one gets off easy, and the other one gets a very pleasant surprise in the end. So, at the very least, Anna is a bit of a slut. A very nice one, though.
You know those people who can't seem to take a foreign film seriously if the dialogue has been dubbed? Well, I'm not one of those people. However, today, I am. Of course, I've only seen the dubbed version, as it's still the only one available in my country, as far as I know. Sure. I've heard better dubbing, but don't let that ruin it for you. I mean, how seriously were you planning on taking this movie, anyway? So, the main characters: Three guys. One older guy and two younger guys, all sailing onto an island, looking for older guy's nephew... for some reason.
This nephew guy is probably missing, but then, we're informed as to how his uncle feels, as he mutters the words "fuck my nephew! He should die!". So, who knows what the story is here? That statement, though, pretty much sums up the entire story. So, these three jerkoffs don't seem to care much for each other, and the two younger guys may not even know this nephew, for all we know. However, finding him must be awfully important if they are way the hell out here. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we never actually learn the truth behind this mission, or if the nephew was ever here to begin with. As soon as these guys set foot on land, they are immediately sucked into a hell like they've never imagined. And a hell from which they will never return.
This island is the home of a bloodthirsty, militarized cult, who are possibly preparing for world domination. Or maybe they just hang around, training, so they can kill anyone who happens to drop by. Either way, we are led to believe that what they are doing is super important, at least to them. It should also be pointed out that there are experiments being conducted to reanimate the dead, hence the title. This cult is led by Karl Jr. and his daddy, Karl Sr. from Violent Shit 1 and 2 fame. Aren't they supposed to be dead? I can't remember, it's been so long. And I certainly don't remember Karl Jr. looking like the hound from Game Of Thrones, but OK. Well, this seems to be it for the three mystery guys, as they're now surprisingly accepting that their lives are coming to an end, shortly.
After showing their new guests some examples of excruciating ways to die, Karl Jr. is feeling extra sporty this afternoon, and lets two of the guys go, with the understanding that they will soon be hunted. The third one is slaughtered and replaced by a Ninja, who, I guess, is now the main character. As long as the other two listen to Leon, yes, Leon, they might live, after all. Probably not, but we'll see. This Leon guy was once part of the cult, but after expressing discontent over having to rape his wife's corpse, he's naturally been on the outs.
And of course, the two knuckleheads end up getting themselves killed before they can get anywhere. Just as well, as Leon soon meets up with his two Ninja pals who also very much want off this island. So, the three main characters have officially been replaced by Ninjas. And together, they form a plan to take out the Karls and their Army of gorehounds, before they get taken out in far worse ways.
Now, we come awfully close to Horror in this story, but ultimately, things never get quite dangerous enough. Summer Camp Nightmare is about one guy's thirst for power and his manipulation of everyone elses thirst for a reasonably fun summer. Let me start from the beginning: Some pushy, religious fanatic (Chuck Connors) has taken over as camp director, practically making this once fun place a "Christian Camp". Not that there's anything wrong with Christian Camps, but if that's closer to what this guy had in mind, a heads up would have been appreciated. Of course, I don't know how that would have gone. Maybe everyone would have headed to Camp Arawak instead, but the point is, Mr. Warren needs to back off because nobody signed up for this shit.
In the fall, Franklin Reilly will be headed to Millitary school, but for now, he's merely a counselor at Camp North Pines. Franklin looks forward to having some fun, getting some fresh air, looking after the younger campers, studying everyone and learning their weaknesses. Franklin isn't like everyone else. He seems like he is, but what Franklin is really after is a little complicated. Franklin wants to take over. Actually, let me rephrase that: Franklin is taking over!
After establishing himself while getting as many people on his side as possible, Franklin makes little remarks about Mr. Warren's rules, riling everyone up. Then, he oh so cleverly convinces them that Mr. Warren molested one of the younger kids. This ensures that no one will side with the Jesus freak once the revolution gets started. Oh, and by the way. There is going to be a Revolution at Camp North Pines. With a gun in hand, Franklin locks up all authority figures while promising his regime in the making that the cops will be called within a day or two ... or three. We'll see how it goes. So, with no (adult) authority figures around, why not do some hardcore, PG-13 partying in the meantime?
Well, Franklin is not fucking around, obviously, because he has already had the authority figures, over at the nearby girls Camp, locked up, as well. And yes, at gunpoint. The girls are, of course, invited over, officially beginning summer for the older kids. Camp North Pines quickly becomes one, big, chaotic party, but chaos is fine with Franklin as long as it's on his watch. Now might be a good time for someone to point out that everyone has pretty much traded one authority figure for another. And the new one seems to be one order away from becoming a cult leader. What's scary is that this is all coming together way too easily for him Things don't get too out of hand until Mr. Warren is accidentally killed, which is kept from everyone. Franklin isn't about to let anything or anybody come in the way of his control over this Camp, and anyone suspected of disloyalty will be dealt with.
Some bored, small town sluts want to go down to Florida for the wild Spring Break they've always heard about but never got to experience. It becomes obvious right off the bat that they put this Spring Break thing on quite the pedestal, as their lack of funds drives them to petty crime. Seemingly a one time thing, but before anything can happen, this week, well, let's just say that restaurant ain't gonna rob itself. So, in the most detached manner possible, the dumb sluts rob a restaurant and take it to Florida for the the most amazing experience they've ever had. An experience they will cherish forever and ever. An experience that will be so profound and life-changing, it's just plain meant to be. Now, let's go get drunk with a bunch of strangers!
These giggly college chicks come off more like JV Cheerleaders who just recently discovered boys and rap videos. Well, they're headed to the right place. What the girls find in Florida are the most obnoxious partiers, well, in the state of Florida, drinking, cussing, dancing and middle-fingering as hard as they can. It goes without saying that these small town sluts have now found their paradise. As they join in the fun, they make mention of their Spring Break and themselves like it's all such a bigger deal than it is. It's almost like they've all been taking tons of acid, and now, they see "symbolism" everywhere. Get over yourselves! Oh, and it's just fucking Spring Break! If THIS is going to mold who you become in life, you should just go ahead and kill yourselves.
After what seems like a 3 hour-long Girls Gone Wild commercial, we are treated to the only turn of events I found amusing: The girls end up getting arrested, shattering their little Spring Break fantasy, and reminding them that life isn't perfect, which seems to genuinely confuse them. Still taking for granted that their fun week was 100% deserved, they sit there and ponder how fate could be wrong. The sluts are eventually bailed out of jail by a walking joke with big dreams and an empty head, named Alien. A small-time Rapper who is shallow and flashy enough to keep these girl's attention, indefinitely. They're flattered by Alien's sweet talk and just as impressed by all his stuff as he is, if not more. While it doesn't seem like he means them any harm, it's pretty obvious Alien is full of shit in just about every way. Although this is never acknowledged. Much like the small town sluts, Alien seems like he may be too stupid to even realize how full of shit he is. It happens.
Alien and his new friends (minus one who took off) dance, fuck, drink, play with guns, throw their middle fingers in the air, all the while acting like it's all a far deeper experience than it is. All of this goes on at an infuriating rate until an actual storyline comes along involving Alien's feud with an actual black guy. Alien lays on the sweet talk extra thick, finds some pussy masks, and convinces his hoes to help him take out his enemy, so they can continue having Spring Break forever. Because that's a thing, apparently.
So, Gus Kimble is a pretty irritable guy. Gus is bothered by nothing more than people who disregard the law. I'd imagine that's why he ended up becoming a Police Officer. Gus isn't without flaw, though. He has a bit of a temper, and perhaps enjoys a few perks under the table. Alright, I'll just say it. Gus Kimble does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, to whomever he wants. and if you don't like it, he doesn't really give a fuck, because he has a badge and you don't! Tonight, Gus is doing something a little differently. Something he wouldn't usually do, but he really wants to show the world what it takes to be a good cop. Tonight, Gus will be accompanied by a camera man who probably has his own plans for whatever footage he acquires, but that's neither here nor there. Tonight, Gus is going to tell a story, and he's going to have fun doing it.
First, the coke! Find a coke dealer and steal his coke. Then, we'll have lots of coke. That's pretty much how this whole thing begins. Gus busts in on some dealer he knows, one thing leads to another, and I'm pretty sure that guy is dead, now. So, he won't be needing that big bag od coke. Gus just loves to hear himself talk, and as you can imagine, this is only becoming more and more the case. I'm thinking Gus mostly wanted to show off for his camera man friend, because once they head into the convenience store, Gus made himself completely at home, eating, drinking whatever he wanted, rudely blowing off any and all displeasure expressed by the clerk. Gus needs a little down time before heading out to the pawn shop, where he accuses the guy of selling stolen merchandise. The coked-out Gus destroys a bunch of shit after flat-out refusing a bribe. So, Gus plays by the rules. He's just super selective about it.
After doing some coke with a hooker, then harassing a bum and sticking him in the trunk of his car, Gus heads over to some guy's house, who he claims is a pedophile. I don't know if Gus hates Pedophiles THAT much, or if he just thinks it's funny to force someone to castrate themselves while pissing on them. Well, that's what happened, regardless. Gus held a gun to his head until the wiener was detached. And then, big Gus cut a big, juicy fart for good measure. True story.
What a night this is turning out to be! And it's not over. Gus does some more coke and pulls over a drunk driver, only to get himself so worked up, he ends up destroying the woman's car. All of this done as self-righteously as possible. After raiding a party and getting ready to make some arrests, some underage girls catches Gus' eye, which might be our first clue that this Cop is a little on the "sketchy" side. Hell, is this guy even a cop at all, or just some fat asshole on coke who wants to control everybody? I'm starting to wonder.
I've always loved the films of Tim Ritter, as well as the Wynkoop brand of acting, but this film is by far my favorite project from them both. In fact, ever since I saw Dirty Cop No Donut for the first time, I automatically laugh whenever I see Wynkoop in anything, now. He was truly amazing in this, just reeking of every sleazy cop stereotype you could think of. Constantly talking out his ass about doing the right thing while topping his own hypocrisy with every cocaine-fueled scene. A lazy, ignorant bully who has seemingly found the perfect outlet for whatever neurosis he may be suffering from.
Paul and Helen have just gotten married, and just now arrived at their Honeymoon destination out in the backwoods. A place where they can have some real privacy. And the second Paul is out of Helen's site, he gets it with an axe by an unknown assailant. As the sun sets, a petrified Helen runs off into the deep, dark woods, with no real plan in mind. The plan is to not die, I guess. After what seems like hours of running, Helen runs into a scary-looking old bastard who would be mistaken for a killer by anyone in Helen's shoes. Odis Pickett does look capable of murder, and I'd be surprised if he's never taken a life, but Odis did not murder that man. Helen reluctantly takes his word for it and accepts his invitation to follow him home because where else is there to go?
Odis leads Helen down into the darkest depths of nowhere, where we find Odis' home, lived in by him and his family, all of which come off far more approachable than Odis, himself. This here house probably wouldn't be the first choice of hideouts for someone who just witnessed the murder of a loved one. Although again, where the hell else is there to go? She probably couldn't even find her way back to where she started, even if that was a good idea. While still alive, Helen's life is over. The Pickett house is now all there is. This filthy house, which seems to reek of dust, humidity and hopelessness. As Helen gazes out the window, she realizes all that exists outside this unwelcoming place is darkness and death.
Odis promised Helen she could use his phone to call the Police, which is the only reason she's here, but Helen quickly finds out from the family that there is no phone. Why would Odis go and lie about a thing like that? Well, if he hadn't, she might have gone somewhere else for help. And as we all know, somewhere else ain't here. Odis needs Helen here if she's to be raped, later. Odis usually feels a bit rapey after so many hours of drinking Moonshine. Yeah, I think we all saw that one coming. His ability to think so far ahead, not so much.
The Pickett family consists of the pregnant wife, Emmy, who Odis bought off her pa some time ago. Then, there's his grown up kids from another marriage, Bo and Sarah. Nobody expects much out of Bo, who may be borderline retarded. Sarah despises Bo and gives him a hard time every chance she gets. The chip on Sarah's shoulder is obvious. The reason for it soon becomes known, as Sarah takes issue with her father' plans to rape Helen. She doesn't want what's already happened to her to happen to anyone else, as she's quite blunt about it. Sarah doesn't so much care what happens to this woman as she simply despises Odis and might as well deprive him of some pussy if she can. Despite her and Emmy's efforts, the horny old drunk takes what he wants, further traumatizing Helen.
Last night, Odis got so drunk, he actually forgot about Bo getting murdered by the still faceless killer. Now would be a good time to discuss sending Helen on her way, but Odis would prefer keeping her around a while longer. The reason for this seems mostly due to Odis' growing boredom with the already available holes in the house. A man ought to not take family for granted, but 'ol Odis never claimed to be perfect, now, did he? Odis has no real plan on what to do about Helen, or how long to keep her here, or what to tell the cops once they get called. A rape accusation is coming sooner or later, and he knows it. Odis will handle that when the time comes. Right now, Sarah is missing, and he's liquored up enough to go out there and shoot a hole through a somebitch. So, Odis threatens the wife with violence so she doesn't let his guest escape, and tries, once and for all, to nip this problem in the bud before all holes are lost.
So, no mystery, no spoilers. The Greasy Strangler is an old man we call Big Ronnie. I take it this old man isn't quite as old as he looks. My guess is he got a bit too much sun over the years. Big Ronnie has some type of condition we never learn a single thing about, but can only assume it's of the "Jekyll And Hyde" nature. By day, Ronnie eats as greasily as possible, and by night, one hell of an ugly grease monster must prowl the streets and kill. Only the car wash can bring big Ronnie back.
I don't know. Maybe it's more of a Werewolf type deal. When big Ronnie isn't the Greasy Strangler, He is is a foul-mouthed old bastard who looks like Doc Brown's dishonest older brother with sweet hair. Ronnie loves to dress in pink almost as much as he loves to stretch the truth, and is more or less a deadbeat. Big Brayden is Ronnie's awkward, but more approachable son. Ronnie and Brayden live and work together, always dressed in pink, but usually walking around in nothing but banana hammocks at home. For work, the duo run a half-assed walking Disco tour that is mostly built on bullshit. I suppose one could say Ronnie and Brayden are bullshit artists.
Well, Ronnie is the bullshit artist. Brayden probably couldn't find his own ass without some fatherly advice. One day, luck strikes Brayden's life during a tour as he meets a woman who actually seems interested in him. Something Brayden probably never would have expected to happen. Ronnie just flat out doesn't buy it. As unsupportive and discouraging as he can be, Ronnie insists Janet won't ever care about big Brayden. It almost sounds like wishful thinking. If I didn't know better, I'd think Big Ronnie feels threatened by the idea of his son's attention being divided. He's just too proud to admit it. This isn't the only thing big Ronnie is too proud to admit.
Instead of admitting his fears of being forgotten, big Ronnie steals his son's new girlfriend right out from under him. Then, after claiming he wouldn't, Ronnie fucks the shit out of her. However not before she pops big Brayden's cherry and gets him to play with her asshole, which probably makes this betrayal all the more devastating. But hey. At least Brayden got some. You would think big Ronnie would be satisfied with his proven dominance over his boy, but, for some reason, Ronnie and Janet both now feel the need to taunt big Brayden mercilessly. This completely random sub-plot goes on until it doesn't. And just like that, Brayden and Janet get back together. This makes big Ronnie sad.
The next move is up to big Ronnie. Will this devious old codger be a smoothee and pry Janet away from his son again, or will he simply shrug it off and get greasy? Hard to do since big Brayden is cross with him. Ronnie needs his son to feed him greasy bacon and hot dogs so he can maintain his greasiness. Things get even more complicated after big Brayden suspects the old man of being the infamous strangler, and makes it clear he will stop at nothing until the mystery is solved. One thing is for sure, though. Whatever big Ronnie does next, he'll have his dick out whilst doing it.
Michelle Shock is on top of the world. She's in the hottest Heavy Metal band on the planet, and being the late 80's, this earns her title of 'The Queen of Rock". Michelle's fame and infamy is only inflated by recent rumors of Devil worship. Rumors which are very much confirmed to us, the audience, when some dumb shit ditches his girlfriend for the radder Michelle. Michelle sucks on his weiner in return, after the show, only to bite it off. We're not sure this is actual proof of Satanism, or that Michelle always likes to do that, but it does prove she's kind of an asshole, right?
Yes, she is. Michelle Shock is kind of an asshole. I believe said quality is ultimately what did her in. Michelle's manager, Lou Sharkey, might have been able to overlook all the bad publicity and media outrage surrounding these Satanic rumors, as well as cases of fan disappearances after shows. However Michelle has proven herself to be more trouble than she's worth. So, the queen of rock is officially gone. Luckily for Sharkey, he already has a new girl lined up as a replacement. Jamie Summers has a hell of a voice and is certainly better at being Michelle Shock than Michelle is. Not only that, but she's not an asshole, nor is she into any of that other crazy shit.
So, all is good, but the rest of the band still wanted to pay Michelle a visit to let her know there's no hard feelings, at least on their end. Michelle is then caught in her true form: That of a Demon. Ok, so, she's not actually a person. I forgot to mention that part. Michelle's former band mates are now forced to kill her, which is of course for the best, but that's not where this story ends. Later on, new singer, Jamie, shows up, looking for Michelle, in order to pick up some stage clothes she'll be needing, since Michelle won't. Well, one thing leads to another, and before we know it, Jamie is possessed by the spirit of Michelle Shock! If Sharkey thought all the Satanism, assholishness and dick-eating was over, he was mistaken. Michelle Shock was just the beginning!
Once upon a time, there lived an upper class snob named Peggy Gravel. Peggy actually has a pretty swell life in a nice house with a nice, normal family. Peggy's only real problem is that pesky insanity that is making it impossible to get any peace. And when Peggy gets no peace, nobody else does. Today, Peggy is having quite the meltdown, and pretty much anything anyone says or does makes things worse. After taking her frustrations out on some kids, playing outside, Peggy turns her aggression to her own kids, whom she shames for playing Doctor. Well, in her defense, that WAS a little weird.
I take it Peggy was never overly fond of the husband even when she was sane, assuming she ever was. Bosley is as understanding as a husband can be in this situation, and only wants his wife to get better. He means well, but there's only so much Bosley can do by himself. The maid is pissed at him and probably wouldn't be any help, anyway. As Peggy carries on about Bosley's murder attempt on her, Grizelda rushes in, not at all interested in facts, takes Peggy's word for it and crushes Bosley with her ass, destroying him for all time!
Bosley is dead, the kids are probably hiding under their beds by now, and all these two ladies know is that they are in some deep shit. Or they will be if they don't leave this place, now. Peggy and Grizelda take off, and of course, Peggy immediately starts bitching and ranting, but quickly gets put in her place by Grizelda, who outweighs her by 300 pounds, and makes it clear that she is no longer the maid. These gals have no game plan, but are pointed in the direction of a place to hide by a cop who makes sure and gets payment for the info. Peggy and Grizelda have learned of a town called Mortville, where fugitives can go to find sanctuary. This is a town populated entirely by people who should be in prison. Mortville isn't exactly what Peggy and Grizelda had in mind, but killers can't be choosers.
This is the kind of town where you might actually catch something by breathing the air. A real shithole, populated by killers, drug addicts, freaks of all types, all controlled by the the tyrannical Queen Carlotta and her guards, who aren't above taking liberties by bullying the town's people. After moving in with an angry dyke and her slut, Peggy and Grizelda are seized by the Queen, but only to be smartened up as to how things go around here. That and to be transformed into ugly bitches!
The ugly bitches head back to their new home to trade stories with Mole the dyke and Muffy the slut, where we learn a thing or two about them. Mole's story is pretty simple. She was a Pro Wrestler who got a little carried away and killed a guy. Muffy's situation, however, seemed to involve temporary insanity, which caused the death of her drunken husband and neglectful babysitter. And in Mortville, Muffy found the person of her dreams. Mole is a bit on the abusive side, but it's nothing Muffy can't handle. Mole will probably lighten up once she gets that sex change she's been talking about... Or not.
And just as the four ladies do some bonding, we are then plunged into a scene we can never unsee. Mole and Muffy getting it on is to be expected, but I guess the moans got to Grizelda. As she gets all hot and bothered, Grizelda turns to Peggy for sexual relief. Peggy naturally isn't crazy about the idea, but finally gives in. On this night, everyone got their cooters licked clean. Yes. Everyone.
But then, there's Princess Coo-Coo: A kind woman who wants nothing to do with her mother, the Queen, and even less to do with her evil ways. Injected with Rabies for rebelling, the Princess has nowhere else to turn but the four Lesbians, which creates some dissension. Peggy not only refuses to help Coo-Coo, but she takes it upon herself to offer her services to the Queen as the new and improved, evil Princess. Peggy proves to be an exceptional replacement for the now dying Coo-Coo, and quickly gains Carlotta's approval.
After a brief discussion, it is decided that the entire population of Mortville needs to be killed off as soon as possible. It's now up to Mole, Muffy and some other dykes, to band together and exterminate this evil, so that maybe Mortville can become a nice place to live. Just give Mole a minute to recover from her sex change, which didn't exactly go as planned. Nobody is better at overthrowing evil Queens and liberating sanctuary cities than angry dykes. This is a new day for Mortville and a new day for low-life scum. The End.