Back in 1999, I doubt anyone would have considered the possibility of a WCW movie to be a bad idea. After temporarily dethroning the WWF as the top Wrestling organization, 1999 was extremely unkind to WCW, as their approach to the Monday Night War only served to tap them out creatively and nearly financially as well. A recently red hot WCW had become old news seemingly over night, while the WWF was experiencing an explosion in popularity like no other. Somebody needed to come up with an idea to get eyes back on WCW, and fast. Eric Bischoff, the man who had led WCW into the promised land and back, had an idea in the Summer of '99. Not a bad one by any means. Pro Wrestling, as a whole, was still huge, so, at the time, a WCW movie sounded totally reasonable. This could be just what they need to get back in the race. And if it turns out not to be, they won't be any worse off, right? Sorry. This is WCW, friends. What can go wrong, will go wrong!
And naturally, the first thing to go wrong is the firing of Eric Bischoff, who had been the only person in the company who offered something resembling leadership, so, any influence he may have had on this film was thrown out the window. The next thing to go wrong? Who knows, but let's just say it was the hiring of David Arquette for the lead role. I'm not particularly crazy about his sidekick, Scott Caan, either, but that David Arquette is the worst.
Get this: Ready To Rumble includes such Wrestlers as Sting, Sid Vicious, Goldberg, Perry Saturn, Bam Bam Bigelow, Booker T, Curt Hennig, Rey Mysterio Jr, and Konnan. With a cameo by Randy Savage, which was the highlight for me. Not to mention a random appearance by a nobody named John Cena. All that and what we get is fucking Oliver Platt vs. Diamond Dallas Page? DDP wasn't bad, and Platt was hilarious in The Big C, later on, but is this really you guy's attempt at putting WCW back on the right track? Is this what's supposed to get everyone's eyes off Stone Cold And The Rock?
So, the first thing you need to know about Ready To Rumble is that it can't decide if it wants to portray Wrestling as fake or real. At least that's what the premise implies. WCW World Heavyweight Champion, Jimmy King, gets screwed out of the title for realz by Dallas Page and cronies. A turn of events set up by CEO, Titus Sinclair, who wants to get rid of King. So, yeah. Wrestling is kinda real sometimes, I guess. Complete and utter retards, Sean and Gordie, are livid. Regardless of how Wrestling is or isn't portrayed in this movie, these longtime friends think it's 100% legit, and in this one case, I suppose they're right. Having no lives, these knuckle-dragging man-children end up tracking down their now-M.I.A. favorite wrestler and motivating him to get back to doing what he does best and stick it to Page and Sinclair, even though he doesn't work for the company any more. And even after finding out their hero is a drunken, dishonest pile of shit, they don't quit on him. So, on top of being retards, Sean and Gordie are massive marks.
How else are we supposed to take this? Sean and Gordie are clearly a portrayal of your average Wrestling fan. Is this how WCW saw their own fanbase? It certainly seems that way. Is this the reason Ready To Rumble failed? Well, it might have been if this movie had one, single thing going for it. A comedy which fits in nicely with the likes of Scary Movie, American Pie and Dude, Where's My Car?, which wouldn't be such a bad thing if it wasn't, by far, the worst of the bunch. Recycled jokes from movies like Mallrats, cameos from guys like "The Sherminator", and PG-13 poopy jokes, puts this at least three rungs below all the other sorry ass comedies from the era. All I can say is Poor Martin Landau!On a depressing note, this movie's portrayal of WCW actually seemed far more interesting than the real thing, once this garbage was released. In a last-ditch effort to milk all they could from this situation, WCW actually brought in David Arquette and put the WCW World Title on him for a short time, sending the message that even a shitty, unfunny actor is better than any big-name Wrestler. Did it help the movie? Well, it eventually made half it's budget back. So, possibly. Did this at least help WCW at all? Well, less than a year later, they wouldn't exist anymore, so, there's that. Yes. Ready To Rumble was a waste of time, a waste of money, a waste of talent, and seemingly a middle finger to those who were meant to take interest in it. Because of course it was. After all. This was a WCW project. 1/10
