Prologue - Dreamland is dead. David Lochary is dead. Divine is busy and probably not interested in Dreamlandish shenanigans by now, anyway. This is a new day for John Waters' film career, but far from a departure. John Waters isn't done making trash just yet. One more, and then, maybe something normal. Next up is Desperate Living. An insane fairy tale about killer lesbians and other social outcasts, doing what they can to survive in a town they never imagined they would be apart of. A town which is the only thing standing between a criminal and justice. When all else fails, there's always Mortville.
Once upon a time, there lived an upper class snob named Peggy Gravel. Peggy actually has a pretty swell life in a nice house with a nice, normal family. Peggy's only real problem is that pesky insanity that is making it impossible to get any peace. And when Peggy gets no peace, nobody else does. Today, Peggy is having quite the meltdown, and pretty much anything anyone says or does makes things worse. After taking her frustrations out on some kids, playing outside, Peggy turns her aggression to her own kids, whom she shames for playing Doctor. Well, in her defense, that WAS a little weird.
I take it Peggy was never overly fond of the husband even when she was sane, assuming she ever was. Bosley is as understanding as a husband can be in this situation, and only wants his wife to get better. He means well, but there's only so much Bosley can do by himself. The maid is pissed at him and probably wouldn't be any help, anyway. As Peggy carries on about Bosley's murder attempt on her, Grizelda rushes in, not at all interested in facts, takes Peggy's word for it and crushes Bosley with her ass, destroying him for all time!
Bosley is dead, the kids are probably hiding under their beds by now, and all these two ladies know is that they are in some deep shit. Or they will be if they don't leave this place, now. Peggy and Grizelda take off, and of course, Peggy immediately starts bitching and ranting, but quickly gets put in her place by Grizelda, who outweighs her by 300 pounds, and makes it clear that she is no longer the maid. These gals have no game plan, but are pointed in the direction of a place to hide by a cop who makes sure and gets payment for the info. Peggy and Grizelda have learned of a town called Mortville, where fugitives can go to find sanctuary. This is a town populated entirely by people who should be in prison. Mortville isn't exactly what Peggy and Grizelda had in mind, but killers can't be choosers.
This is the kind of town where you might actually catch something by breathing the air. A real shithole, populated by killers, drug addicts, freaks of all types, all controlled by the the tyrannical Queen Carlotta and her guards, who aren't above taking liberties by bullying the town's people. After moving in with an angry dyke and her slut, Peggy and Grizelda are seized by the Queen, but only to be smartened up as to how things go around here. That and to be transformed into ugly bitches!
The ugly bitches head back to their new home to trade stories with Mole the dyke and Muffy the slut, where we learn a thing or two about them. Mole's story is pretty simple. She was a Pro Wrestler who got a little carried away and killed a guy. Muffy's situation, however, seemed to involve temporary insanity, which caused the death of her drunken husband and neglectful babysitter. And in Mortville, Muffy found the person of her dreams. Mole is a bit on the abusive side, but it's nothing Muffy can't handle. Mole will probably lighten up once she gets that sex change she's been talking about... Or not.
And just as the four ladies do some bonding, we are then plunged into a scene we can never unsee. Mole and Muffy getting it on is to be expected, but I guess the moans got to Grizelda. As she gets all hot and bothered, Grizelda turns to Peggy for sexual relief. Peggy naturally isn't crazy about the idea, but finally gives in. On this night, everyone got their cooters licked clean. Yes. Everyone.
But then, there's Princess Coo-Coo: A kind woman who wants nothing to do with her mother, the Queen, and even less to do with her evil ways. Injected with Rabies for rebelling, the Princess has nowhere else to turn but the four Lesbians, which creates some dissension. Peggy not only refuses to help Coo-Coo, but she takes it upon herself to offer her services to the Queen as the new and improved, evil Princess. Peggy proves to be an exceptional replacement for the now dying Coo-Coo, and quickly gains Carlotta's approval.
After a brief discussion, it is decided that the entire population of Mortville needs to be killed off as soon as possible. It's now up to Mole, Muffy and some other dykes, to band together and exterminate this evil, so that maybe Mortville can become a nice place to live. Just give Mole a minute to recover from her sex change, which didn't exactly go as planned. Nobody is better at overthrowing evil Queens and liberating sanctuary cities than angry dykes. This is a new day for Mortville and a new day for low-life scum. The End.Epilogue - Desperate Living really did turn out to be John Waters' last hurrah before making the transition to mainstream. It would have been nice if Divine had been a part of it, though. Instead, we have Liz Renay in the role he was originally meant for. I'm not a fan, as she always sounded like a dumb fuck to me, but at the time, this was the biggest actress Waters ever had in a movie. Then, there's Susan Lowe, who really threw herself into the "dyke" role and made the movie far more entertaining than it would have been, otherwise. Edith Massey was great, Mary Vivian Pearce was great, despite aging 20 years since Pink Flamingos. What exactly happened there? Well, the highlight for me was Mink Stole's portrayal of the neurotic snob who wishes death on anyone she sees as beneath her. Oh, and good God! How could I forget Jean Hill? A person who was on her way to making two of Divine. Her presence was nothing short of a nice touch, and filled that void Divine's absence had left.
Desperate Living tackled just about every taboo Water's earlier movies didn't, and at the time, was despised by the very audience it was meant for. Yep, Shockingly, the lesbians didn't get it at the time, but have since warmed up to it over the last 40 years, as all Waters' trash classics were eventually immortalized by a future generation. 7/10
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