Terror in Beverly Hills (1989)

Because all the best things happen in Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills 90210, Beverly Hills Cop 3, Beverly Hills Chihuahua...

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I was looking for a real piece of shit to watch, and this turkey jumped in front of me. Terror in Beverly Hills is a low-budget "action" movie starring Stallone. That's right, Frank Stallone plays our "bad-ass", even though this guy is only in the movie for 20 minutes it seems, and even then, he doesn't do much.

The plot is similar to Escape from New York in a way. A middle-eastern terrorist comes to the United States to kidnap the president's daughter and he takes her to Beverly Hills, because why not? Only one man can stop him... Ex-special forces karate master Hack Stone.


Yeah, I know what you're thinking. This movie sounds like it should be awesome, but let me tell you why it fails hard enough to have a 3.3 on imdb: it's super fucking boring.

Half of this movie is simply the terrorist getting through airport security and getting to the states just to make his damn point, because the scenes are more drawn out than they need to be. If the pacing were as tight as it should be, this movie would be 30 minutes.


I suppose my biggest problem with Hack Stone is that he really is a hack. This Stallone doesn't exhibit any of the charm of his brother. You'd think that Sylvester would have given him some tips on how to make a good action movie, but nope. Frank is on his own in this one, and he forgot to put the action in the movie.

And when there is action in the movie, the guns tend not to fire, but rather the guy shooting simply pretends to recoil. It's okay ma, these are just a bunch of big kids play fighting. And when Hack Stone confronts the guy for a final showdown, it's just a bunch of punches to head, back and forth, and really sweaty... CUT TO... we're not sweaty anymore, and we're abruptly ending this movie because we've already shot up a door and broken a window, so our budget is gone gone gone.


In the end, this movie was surprising in how much one Stallone can excel and how another can miss the mark completely. Hack Stone is a hack, he didn't do anything cool in the movie that he was barely in.

#Review