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one of those plonkers 🌐 âš ī¸ NSFW
The worst horror movie of the summer - Brightburn!

Oops. I meant to say "first". 🙄

Goddamn, what a shitty and predictable movie this was. They market this as "From Producer James Gunn, Visionary Director Behind Guardians of the Galaxy", which is a very confusing statement in itself because A.) Like the director of any Marvel movie, he's entirely replaceable, and B.) what do producers do even do? Especially for a small town turkey like this movie, which is anything but visionary?

So much like the origin story of Clark Kent, an infantile Brandon Beyers crashlanded in his spaceship, landing in a little known farming commmunity by the name of "Brightburn". He's raised by a happy married couple, until he turns 12. Then he turns evil, and it plays out exactly as you'd expect.

I thought this movie looked stupid from the get-go. It's very uninspired, and doesn't have much to say. It's a sloppy what-if scenario that wasn't well thought out. Sure, you can see a young superboy kill a few regular people in a gory ways, but then again, you could also be combing your ass hairs, or washing the dishes. Hell, you'd probably be off watching a regular Superman movie, and I hate Superman.

I don't feel too bright after watching this one, so don't let it burn you too.
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