Herschell Gordon Lewis always seemed like a mild-mannered guy. An old fashioned gentleman who always came off rather conservative, despite some of the movies he made. And even the crazier stuff he did was still pretty innocent, at least on some level. However, there was this one. A movie Herschell did in 1969 which I'm still a little baffled by. Linda And Abilene is what's on my mind, today. The only thing HGL did that could be considered a Western, not to be confused with the handful of Hixploitation films he made. Technically, this is a softcore Porno-Western we're talking about. A weird combination, but not unheard of in this era. What was most likely unheard of, not to mention a hell of a lot weirder, is a Softcore Porno-Western involving a brother-sister love story. This isn't exactly what people have in mind when referring to Herschell Gordon Lewis as a pioneer, but like it or not. Linda And Abilene exists.
In 1869, Todd and Abilene's parents were taken from them. Far too soon as we quickly gather. Young Abilene is taking the loss especially hard, but the siblings must go on, live life, keep the farm up and eventually start families of their own. The grief and loneliness becomes too much for them both as Todd and Abeline seem to become depressed. They're there for each other as much as a brother and sister can be, but they clearly need something more. Sex, romance. Normal stuff like that which makes it all the easier to move on. And then, one day, it happened: Todd saw his sister naked, and at that moment, realized something about himself: Todd would totally stick it to her if he had the chance.
The more Todd thinks about his sister's hot, luscious body, the more distracted he gets. However, with a stroke of good luck, it seems as if Abilene is starting to fancy Todd back. The growing feelings are pretty much confirmed during a scene where they both lay in bed and masturbate to the thought of each other. Soon, the desire becomes too much for them both as they give in to temptation by fucking the shit out of each other. And as we see in a montage, the next few days looks to be non-stop "brother-sister time". One might think this would make things awkward while doing chores together, but in reality, nothing at all is getting done, now, as Todd can't keep out of Abilene's vagina, and she's not about to turn down her big, strong brother's big, strong penis and hot, brotherly cum.They know it's wrong. I'm not 100% sure they know it's fucked up, but they know what they're doing ain't right. So, what should they do about this? Abilene isn't anywhere near bothered enough to consider ending things. Todd, on the other hand, is very torn, and becoming somewhat tormented by a gnawing guilt. He knows how their parents would feel about this. Most parents would be horrified at the thought of their own children in such an unnatural situation. Something has to change ... Soon! A few more thrusts wouldn't hurt. Then, no more incest!
It all becomes too much for Todd and he runs off to the saloon where he meets Linda, whose vagina he uses to possibly break the spell. A roughneck named Rawhide overhears Todd telling his new friend about Abilene and quickly heads out there to get some Abilene. First, claiming to be a hungry traveler, then, making his real intentions clear. So, Todd gets laid like a normal person while Abilene gets a sore vagina from the rapist. As Todd returns home, his sister fills him in on what happened, which may have been the biggest mistake of her life. Seeing nothing but red, Todd ignores Abilene's advice and goes off looking for the bastard rapist. While he's gone, Linda drops by for a visit. Abilene tells her to get lost, but Linda is kind to her and listens to her troubles. Linda's advice is that they go down on each other, which they quickly do. Todd still hasn't returned home, but it seems as though Linda and Abilene are now going to be lesbians together. So, whatevs.
Those who think they've seen it all from good 'ol H.G. might want to seek this one out if they haven't already. Though not a very interesting movie or premise without the Sexploitation/incest elements. The siblings don't seem to have personalities and everything is played as dry as humanly possible. The actress who plays Abilene isn't bad. Dull, but sweet and innocent-looking, not unlike Jane Jensen from Tromeo And Juliet, which is ironic if you've seen that one. One little tidbit that might be worth knowing is that Linda And Abilene was actually filmed at the Spahn Ranch, home of the Manson Family, who, from what I have read, made sure, above all else, to be present for Linda and Abilene's love scene. "A bunch of goofy kids, stoned out of their heads", Herschell once referred to them.So, I'm not sure anyone asked for this, but since it does exist, we might as well see the humor in it. That doesn't mean we have to understand it. The fact that this movie exists is a mystery on its own, but it leaves me asking certain questions. Like why does the parent's death leave a void that can seemingly only be filled with lots and lots of sex? what exactly was Abilene's and Todd's relationship like with these people? And I find it interesting how it's touched on that what the brother and sister are doing is wrong, but the movie seems oddly oblivious to how messed up this really is. Ultimately sending the message that sticking it to your sister isn't that weird as long as you're depressed and lonely. I don't know. That's what I get from all this. 5/10
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