Now, Vampires is just something I cannot get tired of. Even today, after the most recent wave with the Twilight series, and the True Blood for us grown ups. I could still go for some sweet, Vampire action. However, the days of beautiful, atmospheric, and creepy Vampire epics are long gone. Movies like Vampyres (1974), and just about every Jean Rollin film of the 70's. That's what it's all about. Not necessarily lezbo-Vamps, but the atmosphere and eerie tone that has been felt seldomly in Vampire Horror since this period. Today, we're going to take a look at one of the best from the golden era. Well, at least one of the most entertaining. Yes. It's time to explore the second half of Paul Morrissey's Horror double feature. This is Andy Warhol's Dracula!
Still in Italy, and just days after production completed on Flesh For Frankenstein, the Morrissey/Warhol gang gets started on their Vampire movie. An old school, Gothic production with the trashiness and a little of the dark humor from the previous film. Yet, this one is heavier on the dark than it is on the humor. Possibly the most mean-spirited adaptation to date, as well as the most nudity and sex-filled. Once again, high-art meets trash, and the result is once again something quite special, but really, really odd at the same time.
As fortune would have it, we get yet another pairing of Udo Kier and the fabulous Arno Juerging, whose performance is every bit as eccentric as one would expect. It seems like a bit of a reversal of roles , when looking back on their interactions from Frankenstein. This time around, Arno is more or less in charge. Dracula's servant is more hands on than he would probably prefer, because Count Dracula is not doing well. Fresh out of virgin blood for some time, Dracula is aging and withering away pretty fast, and it's up to Anton to think of something quick before he's out of a job. Anton suggests they take a road trip to Italy to find a nice, Catholic family with virgin daughters they may want to give away. This plan, however, does not involve Dracula's sister, who is in the same shape he is. With seemingly no relunctance, Anton and the count stuff her in a coffin and skip town, on a quest for virgin blood.
So, no virgins in Transylvania, I take it. why not just kidnap a child? Anyway, after arriving in Italy, Anton asks around about local Religious families, and is soon pointed in the direction of the broke ass Di Fiore family, who have four daughters. One of them has to be a virgin, right? Well, two of them spend most of their time fucking the asshole servant, Mario, played by Joe Dallesandro. Joe, once again, gets all the poon he can handle, and they're certainly grateful for it. The parents are of course oblivious to all of this, and when approached by Anton, they jump at the chance at gaining a rich in-law, and agree to let them have their pick of virgins to take back to Romania forever.So, the Di Fiore parents aren't too bright. The father may or may not even be sane, and at least two of the daughters are whores. One is an old maid and the others one is 14. Dracula interviews the two unclean girls, offering them a chance to marry him. As long as they're virgins, that is. As they lie through their teeth, they both are attacked and partially drained. Dracula doesn't get far as his body rejects the unclean blood of whores. So close, yet so far...
As Mario takes occasional breaks from pulverizing the Di Fiore daughters' vaginas, he starts to suspect that something might not be right about this Count Dracula character, as well as that little Anton fuck who is just making everything far more awkward than it needs to be. The parents are too oblivious and money hungry to notice what's going on, but Mario aims to figure this guy out. Not so much out of loyalty to his employers, or the desire to hold on to both of his fuck toys. Mario just really hates rich people. Throughout the movie, he goes on several rants about the rich and how he can't wait until they all get what's coming to them. and while he is the most noble character, technically the hero of the movie, Mario is actually quite abusive to his two friends, slapping them around or raping them when they get mouthy. And in passing, he also makes it quite clear that he'll stick it to the 14 year old if he gets the chance. Actually, that may not be such a bad idea from her perspective, as Dracula is now more desperate than ever for some virgin blood.
Speaking of people who have no problem raping kids, Roman Polanski, of all people, graces us with his presence in a random cameo where he almost beats Anton's ass. Once again, Arno Juerging is my favorite part of all of this. No longer the timid little weirdo from Flesh For Frankenstein, Arno shows he's no one trick pony, as he portrays a more high strung weirdo, who seems positively uncomfortable in his own skin. Joe Dallesandro surprises me, this time. With even more dialogue to work with, he actually says it all like he means it. Maybe he snuck in a acting lesson or two between shootings? Or maybe he just wasn't high, this time. Personally, I liked all these people better in Flesh For Frankenstein, but that mostly goes for Udo Kier. Udo is more desperate and sickly, this time. A bit prissy for some reason, too. Udo just doesn't command attention like he did in the previous film, and isn't really the deviant freak from before. He just wants to not die. And what's up with the VIRGIN blood? Why is that a thing? And why is he out in the sunlight? Of all movies, you'd think this one would get it right. I'm a total Frankenstein guy when it comes to this double feature, but this is still my all-time favorite Dracula film, which is worth every bit of cult status it has. Too bad this didn't lead to a trilogy. Andy Warhol's Jekyll And Hyde has such a nice ring to it! 8/10
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