#Helloween (2025)

I was watching this on Tubi after I had watched another shitty Halloween movie. This one is about a psycho clown cult prepping to terrorize London on Halloween night. John (Michael Pare) and Ellen are investigating and have to get answers from a crazed inmate named Cane who dresses like a clown. Cane keeps hinting that some shit is about to go down as clown sightings grow more common, but Cane is cryptic. Eventually, he escapes prison and comes after Ellen's family in a home invasion type scenario.

Michael Pare seems like he'll have a decent role here, but then the filmmakers give us all the finger and throw him away. Ellen looks like her face is filled with botox, but she makes up for it by having a nice rack. Then, there's Cane...

This dude thinks he's a charming and edgy criminal mastermind. In reality, he's an obnoxiously cringy Joker rip-off with a pointlessly contrived plot. I fucking hate this guy, and not for the reasons he wants me to hate him for. He's a total jabroni, and this movie can suck my asshole.