The Giant Spider Invasion!

How have I not seen this movie before? I first heard of it recently when I saw rifftrax was going to make fun of it, but I didn't want to hear their commentary. I wanted to see the movie in its pure unedited form.

This movie is kind of perfect. I got that vibe as soon as it started that it was made for me. It's got a shitty title card, awful effects of the meteorite or whatever crashing into earth, and then what happens? We get carried away in the diamond-farming plot of an asshole redneck. This bit must have been an inspiration for the Jordy skit in Creepshow, because there are parallels galore.

So besides a farming dude who's cheating on his wife and hitting on his daughter or whoever that young lady is supposed to be, we also have a couple of bland scientists and a sheriff. Meh.

There's a lot of buildup to it. You see a lot of regular-sized tarantulas crawling out of these egg/rocks, a lot of spider webs, and then a few bigger puppets, but then you get the grand daddy spider...

Even when this fucker is standing still, his legs are moving about randomly. I like how when he moves, you never get a good look at his bottom half, because that's probably where you'd see a car underneath it, because these effects are pretty stupid.

Now this spider will eat a few cows, but it also eats a few people. Most of the gore is spit out mangled corpses, but there is a fair amount of blood. Even a single pair of titties. Are not these the criteria for a trash epic? Nudity, gore, rednecksploitation, space mumbo jumbo, and bad effects?

You know they put effort into this movie. Most of it is pretty watchable too, but the bad effects help make it all better by ruining it, and this movie is somehow pretty amazing.