Texas Chainsaw...

What I'm referring to is the 4th direct sequel to the original... yeah, this continuity is fucked. People describe this series as a "choose your own adventure" franchise because there's such a lack of continuity. Everyone reveres the original so much that none of the sequels ever count. Fucking ever!

Even after this movie, they did a prequel to the original, and the next movie will be another direct sequel to the original. Even if a movie does something right, it'll be forgotten by the next movie, guaranteed!

Now, this 2013 movie isn't perfect, but I think it had a lot of heart. They did so much to recreate the aesthetics and vibes of the original, but it still lacks that necessary grit. Even when it tries to fake the grit, it doesn't quite work. Sure, it's gory, but it ain't gritty!

Goddamn, does Alexandra Daddario have a great body though... and so does Tania Raymonde. They could have made the whole movie featuring them in skimpy clothing talking about politics and I would have been satisfied.

I still don't have a fucking clue how or why Lionsgate signed a 6 movie deal with this. Were they trying to create sequels? Probably not. Probably just sequels to the original, each and every time... Talk about milking a dead horse, huh?

Another big problem is that Heather is supposed to be 20 something, but the movie strictly abides by the original's timeline, and the gravestone of Marilyn Burn's character clearly says 2012 on it, so she's actually about 39 years old? I'll never get over that shit... I guess it's possible that a 39 year old woman is hanging out with whipper-snappers half her age, but it's still a weird fucking way to write it...

Everybody hates this movie, but the real question is... do they hate it more than The Next Generation? I love both of these movies. Part 3 is easily the worst to me, and I'm not sure why.

What the fuck is going on in this series? The world may never know...