#RIP Richard Riehle

You may not know the name, but you've seen this guy in plenty of stuff. He was most famous for being the inventor of the "Jump to Conclusions Mat". Here's one of my favorite scenes of his:

I'm glad I didn't watch #CrystalLake because I heard some dumb shit about it. As you know, they promised it would be a prequel to the original film, and a month before its release, they say it's a new canon not connected to the original films. And despite this, every fucking post about this movie has stupid audience members confused at how it's going to connect to this or that film. It's like they suddenly don't know wtf a remake is. But that's besides the point.

Fan speculation also thought that Jason would be the result of some government experiment. Then producers assured us that this wouldn't be the case. Then apparently, it is the case? And Pamela is more of a protagonist than a killer? That there is another villain in there somewhere? I've seen these claims a few times, which totally demean what this franchise is about.

Is anybody watching this crap? Can you confirm or deny this?

#SlenderMan (2018)

I knew this was going to be bad going in because it was a PG-13 horror about teen girls. They hear about the urban legend and try to summon him, and they encounter some weird internet video that makes them uneasy. The next day during a field trip to... a cemetery... one of the girls goes missing.

This puts the girls on edge, and the girl's drunken dad blames them. They start to see things, they start to encounter him, and none of it is entertaining. Talk about generic. There's not much lore about this urban legend, so they have basically nothing to work with for this story. He just comes along, acts like a weirdo for a few scenes, and the end is inconclusive as if that makes it more "chilling".

I zoned out HARD during this piece of shit. There isn't really much to say about it other than how boring and uninspired it is. If you want to be creeped out by some urban legend, watch something good like Candyman or Urban Legend. This movie isn't doing the "legend" any favors.

@Tromafreak

This scene scared the shit out of me as a kid:



I’ll always have a soft spot for Cameron’s Closet (1988) because of that. Glad you liked it.

#Carrie (2026)

Another adaption of the Stephen King novel, fleshed out for an 8-episode Amazon series and set in modern times with modern (in)conveniences. This series emphasizes social media as a device for anonymous bullying, which takes its toll on not just the students, but the faculty and the town itself.

If you've seen the other movies, you know the beats. It's still pretty good, but it does change a lot. Carrie's mother isn't a total psycho, she works at S-Mart and gets shit on by her bosses, and you don't hate her as much. Carrie herself is played well, and you really hate her bully Chris Hargensen. Total bitch, and you know there are people out there just like her who don't even know why they act like such assholes all the time. The cast in general is pretty good, and you'll notice Matthew Lillard as the principal.

Overall a decent series. Way better than that 2013 piece of crap, but I'm not crazy about the ending. They changed stuff up, added a few things they didn't need to add, and basically set it up for a sequel, but we don't need that. They basically took away the tragic ending for something optimistic, which I'll pass on. I still say the original 1976 movie is the best, but this is easily second place.

#Lanterns (2026 Series)

The latest part of James Gunn's DCU. After the travesty that was Super Girl, it seemed that maybe the haters were right. Maybe this DC verse is doomed to fail, because that movie was hot garbage. Even Lobo was lame in it. But the hype was still lingering for the Green Lanterns, because it was for adults and it was HBO.

Social media posts about this movie are far too critical. They think everything is 'woke' and insulting to the fanbase, and everything about this show seems to piss them off. I'll admit, I was skeptical at the end of the first episode when Hal Jordan turns up dead. But I stuck with it for another episode. Then another. Then I was looking forward to Sunday nights for the newest episode.

What exactly is this show about? Hal Jordan (Kyle Chandler) is a burnt out Green Lantern, which is essentially a space cop in this DC world. He has to train his replacement Jon Stewart (Aaron Pierre), and he's not too happy about it.

Despite being about "space cops", it's mostly set in rural Nebraska. Hal and Jon are investigating a mystery about "manhunters" who may have infiltrated the town. The citizens are iffy about having Lanterns in the town. The sheriff (Kelly Macdonald) wants to help, but she's got her own secrets. The show is set in multiple time periods, mostly back and forth between 2016 and 2026. This is partly how we're able to utilize Hal Jordan despite him being killed off, in addition to conscience-backup "Halograms". It's a fairly clever way to keep using the character, and despite the show's efforts to make you dislike Hal, he is one charming son of a bitch. I've seen posts saying he's the DCU's equivalent to Robert Downey Jr. in the MCU. Don't get me wrong, Jon Stewart is good too, but Hal steals the show.

For a "superhero" show, it's surprisingly minimal in its CGI, which is good. Nathan Fillion's Guy Gardner does appear, but he's not a big role, but there is a small backstory for his character.

Basically, if the DCU goes in more of this direction than the spectacle bullshit, it will definitely be able to find its feet. Don't try to be like Marvel, because Marvel is at its wit's end. Dare to piss people off with controversial choices, because in this show's case, they work.

@Box_a_Hair, come on give us a review of Slender Man!

#Backrooms (2026)

This came out around the same time as Obsession, and people wouldn't shut up about these movies. However, only one of them was worth the hype, and it wasn't this movie.

We start in a furniture store where a guy investigating electrical problems comes across a weird opening that leads to the backrooms. Similar to the Simpsons Halloween episode where Homer finds the realm that makes him 3D. Funny enough, Obsession was also inspired by The Simpsons. They were ahead of their time.

The place is weird and unsettling, with wacky architecture and everything is clipped into the walls. It's a good idea, but the movie doesn't really do much with it because that's basically the majority of this entire concept. They try to add some psychological burdens to the place, as well as scientists researching the phenomenon, but there's no real logic and no real payoff.

It's not a bad movie, but it's not great. I know people were gaga over how "low" the budget was, but I'm just not feeling it.

We're going to see Weird Al Yankovic tonight!

Weird Al was the first concert I'd ever been to, back in 1998. I hear he's still got it.

Remember people, it's not AI anymore. It's SI: Super Intelligence. Calling it "artificial" intelligence makes it sound fake. Fake intelligence. Which it's not because it's amazing!