I miss the IMDB boards already.

They're gone. All gone. /sniff

Which Danielle Harris do you prefer?

Topless in the Rob Zombie movie or in the clown costume?

Senile Doctor Ninja Loomis

Donald Pleasence looks like a turtle. Like Rafael in the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, Dr. Loomis even wears a similar coat, to hide his half shell. To public knowledge, he didn't know martial arts, despite his best efforts to teach a dear patient of his the secrets of ninja prowess.

"I spent eight years trying to teach him kung fu, and then another seven trying to keep him in a bullet proof vest because I learned that he would not dodge bullets." - Loomis in a Half Shell

While Michael Myers could move about in stealth, he expressed no desires to maneuver quickly in plain sight, and was thus susceptible to several gunshots. Of course, turtles in time live long and prosper, though Donald Pleasence died in 1995. Had he lived long enough to experience the mass hysteria known as "Halloween: Resurrection", he'd probably be very confounded if he saw Busta Rhymes pretending he knew kung fu, pretending to be Michael Myers, and maybe even pretending to be Michael Myers doing kung fu. Now, for God's sake, he can do kung fu?!

"He was doing very well last night! Maybe someone around here gave him lessons!" - Loomis Rolling Over in his Grave

So naturally, if Donald Pleasence is a turtle, then that explains how Dr. Loomis survived the explosion in Halloween II. He ducked into his shell. The senile doctor ninja aspect of his character also explained his axe-throwing abilities, as demonstrated in "Prince of Darkness". However, his character of Leo in "Alone in the Dark" is likely coincidental, as the film came out before TMNT even existed, though with obvious similarities, Kevin Eastman was surely inspired by Donald's turtle-like aesthetic and ninja abilities.

#DonaldPleasence #Halloween #TMNT #Turtle

CPS is a worthless piece of shit

I've got a retarded, autistic, bi-polar, OCD, insomniac 10-year-old nephew I've got to take care of, and he's getting psychotic because he hasn't been medicated in weeks. He throws tantrums and screams like he's possessed by the devil, EVERY FUCKING DAY.

However, Child Protective Services wont let him get any medical coverage within 50 miles of here until they finish their "investigation" on this whole incident. More however is that they saw him being a fussy bastard today and decided to delay things even further, just because they're a bunch of miserable sadistic pricks who get paid thousands of dollars a month to do not a god damn thing.

Child Protective Services can suck my nuts!

#Rant

The Warriors (2005)

When most people familiar with video games think of movies turned into video games, they shudder a little. They don't have the best reputation. Back in the '80s and '90s, if it was a movie, odds were, a shitty video game tie-in would follow. The Angry Video Game Nerd has covered quite a few of them.

What makes this game based on Walter Hill's 1979 classic any better? Well to start, it was made by Rockstar. Even if you aren't into video games, you've likely heard of their Grand Theft Auto series. Rockstar puts a lot of effort into their games and The Warriors was no different.

The story of The Warriors video game is split into two parts: the events that take place before the movie and the events of the movie itself. If you've seen the movie (if you haven't, stop reading this drivel and go watch it), then you might understand what I mean when I say you play out the movie.

You take control of various members of The Warriors gang and you fight your way through other gangs and the police. Aspects of the story are expanded to make it more of a game, such as sneaking through enemy turf before your final showdown with them, but everything from the movie is there.

As for the parts of the game set before the movie (starting at 90 days before), you not only learn about how various members of The Warriors joined the gang and their previous encounters with the other gangs, you learn everything you need to know about playing the game for the movie side of the story.

An added bonus to the game is that a lot of the actors from the movie returned to voice their characters. They also managed to use the movie's soundtrack, many of the songs being heard on the radio in The Warrior's hideout on Coney Island during the pre-movie portion. The hideout's where you raise your stats and select your next mission.

The game originally came out on Playstation 2 and Xbox. While it's never again appeared on Xbox for some reason, it's been released digitally for both Playstation 3 and 4. If you enjoy the movie, I believe you'd enjoy the game. It's not overly difficult and Rockstar seemed to care a lot about the movie when they made it.

#TheWarriors #VideoGame

Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker aka Night Warning

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082813/


Any fans, good slasher trash. I am doing a rewatch of this for the October Challenge.

8/10

#Tits

Reviews with Ballz: The Blind Dead Series

Welcome to another... Reviews with Ballz!

Today, I'll be covering: Tombs of the Blind Dead (1971) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067500/ , Return of the Evil Dead (1973) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068232/ , The Ghost Galleon (1975) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071256/ , and Night of the Seagulls (1976) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073461/. And yes, I know those years conflict with what IMDb lists. But the years Wiki lists conflict a little too, so I'm going by what it says on the back on my DVDs.

I recently decided to buy Amando de Ossorio's Blind Dead series via the The Blind Dead Collection box set. Overall, I'm pretty happy with the set itself. As you can see below, it's shaped like a coffin, which is really cool I think, and I can't complain about the quality of the transfers or anything.

The first two movies, Tombs of the Blind Dead and Return of the Evil Dead, offer both the English language versions, which are a bit cut, and the original, uncut Spanish language versions. The last two movies, The Ghost Galleon and Night of the Seagulls, also have both the original Spanish audio and the English dub, but the cuts of the films are the same for both languages.

The set also came with a bonus DVD containing what are some extras with the director and also a 39 page booklet about the series, so for you people that care more about extras than I do, there you go.

But enough about the set. Let's get into the movies themselves. Trying a little different of a format here too, so without further ado...

The basics: The blind dead were the Knights Templar, who were blinded and executed for doing shit like tying women up and drinking their blood. In death, apparently they still seek the blood of the living. For that, I hesitate to call them zombies. In fact, the Wiki page refers to them as revenants, which I'd say is more accurate.

What I dug: de Ossorio definitely had an eye for locations. In all four movies, the locations are really nice to look at. From the abandoned town in Tombs of the Blind Dead to the old, wooden ship in The Ghost Galleon, at least the close-up and interior shots of the ship. He used a model ship for some shots and it was a very obvious model, though I don't fault de Ossorio for that. All four movies were low budget. I'd call it impressive more than anything, even if it's a little humorous too.

And that brings me to the look of the blind dead themselves. For a low budget series, the blind dead look really good. They're supposed to be rotting corpses and that fact is portrayed well. When the blind dead do appear, especially on their horses, it feels like the film itself actually slows down. I'm not sure if that was to show just how slow they're supposed to be moving or if it was meant to be some other kind of effect, but either way, I think it gives those scenes a very surreal and nightmarish feel.

The low budget is apparent in some of the blood and gore effects too, particularly during one scene in Tombs of the Blind Dead involving a chick's chest. Again though, I'm more impressed than anything, especially as someone who will always prefer practical effects over CGI.

I'd say my favorite movie of the series is easily Return of the Evil Dead. I feel like is has the best story, the best pacing, and the best effects. Night of the Seagulls is my second favorite, though by then, the whole concept of the series was running thin I feel. More on that in a moment though.

One last thing I want to mention here is the music in the movies. While it's not used much throughout the movies, at least not that I noticed, it fits really well where it is used.

What sucked: I mentioned Return of the Evil Dead having the best pacing, which leads me to something I see said often, and I'm saying it too, about the first movie, Tombs of the Blind Dead. The movie itself is very slow in its pacing. Slow enough to the point where I find myself zoning out. It's a shame too because the movie does have its positives, but when you're zoned out, those go overlooked. And for this, it's my second least favorite movie of the series.

So what's my least favorite movie of the series? The Ghost Galleon. The movie doesn't really suffer from the slow pacing of Tombs of the Blind Dead, but it suffers from several other issues. One is, as I said previously, the series started to wear itself thin. To de Ossorio's credit, he tried to change up the locations and the reasons for the blind dead attacking in each movie, but in the end, it's still the same concept. The Ghost Galleon is also a pretty gore-free movie. If there was any blood, it wasn't enough to remember. That wouldn't be such a big deal if the movie had a little more going for it.

Other shit: When Tombs of the Blind Dead was originally released here in the US, they tried to pass it off as a sequel to Planet of the Apes called Revenge from Planet Ape.












My ratings:
Tombs of the Blind Dead (1971): 2/5
Return of the Evil Dead (1973): 4/5
The Ghost Galleon (1975): 2/5
Night of the Seagulls (1976): 3/5

So there you have it. Two of the four movies are pretty solid overall. If you do decide to check the series out, I'd say give the first a shot anyway, even if it's after you see one of the better sequels, just because it's definitely got a few interesting things going for it. I can't suggest buying the box set unless maybe you see it for like $20 or you really want the bonus disc and booklet. You can buy the movies separately though, if you want just the better ones.

#AmandoDeOssorio #BlindDeadSeries #Review #ReviewsWithBallz

2000 -2009 Horor films

I have this list for myself but figured I would post it here in case anybody is looking for modern recs. Obviously some may disagree with some listed or not listed. Here is every horror film I have liked so far from these years. I will obviously add to it as I see more films.

Aaah! Zombies!! (2007)
All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)
Amer (2009)
American Psycho (2000)
Antichrist (2009)
August Underground (2001)
Bad Biology (2008)
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)
Black Sheep (2006)
Bubba Ho Tep (2002)
Bug (2006)
Cabin Fever (2002)
The Call of the Cthuhla (2005)
The Children (2008)
Cloverfield (2008)
Dagon (2001)
Dance of the Dead (2008)
Dead and Breakfast (2004)
Dead Snow (2009)
Deathstop Holocaust (2009)
The Descent (2005)
Devil's Backbone (2001)
Devil's Rejects (2005)
Dog Soldiers (2002)
Elvira's Haunted Hills (2001)
Embodiment of Evil (2008)
End of the Line (2007)
Feast (2005)
Fido (2006)
Final Destination (2000)
Frailty (2001)
Frontiers (2007)
Ginger Snaps (2000)
Ginger Snaps 2 (2004)
Girl Next Door (2007)
Grindhouse (2007)
Gutterballs (2008)
The Hamiltons (2006)
The Happening (2008)
La Horde (2009)
The Host (2006)
Hostel (2005)
House of the Devil (2009)
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Human Centipede 1 (2009)
I Sell the Dead (2008)
Ils (2006)
Inside (2007)
Jennifer's Body (2009)
Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)
Laid to Rest (2009)
Land of the Dead (2005)
Let the Right One In (2008)
The Life and Death of a Porno Gang (2009)
The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001)
The Loved Ones (2009)
Manson Family (2003)
Martyrs (2008)
May (2002)
The Mist (2007)
Mother of Tears (2007)
The Mothman Prophecies (2002)
Mulberry Street (2006)
Murder Party (2007)
My Little Eye (2002)
Night of the Living Dorks (2004)
Open Water (2003)
The Others (2001)
Paranormal Activity (2007)
Pontpool (2008)
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)
P2 (2007)
[Rec] (2007)
Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)
The Revenant (2009)
The Ruins (2008)
Satan's Little Helper (2004)
Scrapbook (2000)
Session 9 (2001)
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Sheitan (2006)
The Signal (2007)
Slashers (2001)
Slither (2006)
Splice (2009)
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
Tale of Two Sisters (2003)
Teeth (2007)
Thirst (2009)
Triangle (2009)
Trick R Treat (2007)
28 Days Later (2002)
Undead (2003)
Versus (2000)
Willard (2003)
Zombieland (2009)

South Park Fans?

The only other board that I visited on IMDB was the South Park boards. I rewatch all seasons in order and do that for eternity and so on.

Favorite Episodes

-Awesome-O
-Cartman Land
-Krazy Kripples
-Scott Tenorman
-Marjorine
-D Yikes!

I hope there are fans here so we can quote, with proper expletives. Thanks!!!

#Butters #Mexicanstinkyballs #Southpark

R.I.P. Bill Paxton

Dead at 61.

Wow, he has been in a lot of great movies, I'm looking at his filmography right now, and he has been in a lot more of my favorites than I would have thought.