Miramax wins Halloween TV show rights

Sure, go ahead and give them to the company that made the worst entries in the franchise. Any show produced by this company is going to suck. RIP Halloween's TV series. You were dead on arrival.

No More Tears: The History Of Little Corey Gorey



Everybody has their thing. Whether you're laid back or have a short fuse, everybody has their one thing that they simply will not stand for. And no matter how bad they want to avoid confrontation, some things will just always be a deal breaker. And once that line is crossed, it's just on! Today, we're going to talk about a relatively unknown Dramedy (?) from 1993, about a kid who once took an endless amount of shit, seemingly without even an attempt to stand up for himself. A kid whose spirit was broken long ago, but a kid who will soon be pushed too far. Beat him, ridicule him, but don't even think of fucking with Corey Gorey's Ozzy Osbourne tickets!

Little Corey Gorey is about a kid who has no real family. His mom died, his dad remarried Divine, and then, he died. Divine and her bully of a son despise Corey for reasons unknown to us. We're left to assume they're just horrible people who enjoy having someone around to torment. Divine and son have literally made a slave out of Corey, making him do everything, while depriving him of anything resembling pleasure. Corey has to stay on his toes and make sure he doesn't rub one of them the wrong way, as they're just looking for a reason to inflict some punishment, almost always being physical abuse. The mother is a lardass drunk who eats and watches TV all day, and Biff is just your typical coke headed douchebag.

Recently, Corey and his step-family have moved to a new town. At his new school, Corey spots an older girl whom he automatically develops a crush on. Jackie is a rude little bitch who is blunt about wanting nothing to do with a Freshman pussy. But when Corey notices that she is an Ozzy fan, he makes it a point to pick up some tickets to the upcoming concert so that Jackie might go with him. Although, this is never at all encouraged. Voluntarily wrapping himself around her finger, Corey wastes no time in picking up the best available tickets, so that he can maybe have a chance at impressing the girl of his dreams. We can already tell this isn't going to end well.

Although, things are not one bit better than usual, Corey is on cloud 9 over his alleged plans. He even drugs step mother after she passes out, so that she won't catch him. Because there's no way she would ever let him have a night out. It seems as though the stars are aligned on this night, but just as Corey looks under his mattress for the tickets, cold, harsh reality hits him right in the face. The tickets are missing. And as it would turn out, Stepbrother Biff stole them. And when he returns, he not only confirms this, but confirms the fact that he went with Jackie, and totally stuck it to her, afterwards. And at this moment, it all finally came a head. Corey snaps and attacks Biff. He didn't mean to kill him, but that's just the way things go, sometimes.

So, Biff is dead. And without hesitation, Corey cuts him up and sticks him in the freezer. A situation to be dealt with on a later date, I assume. Out of fear for his life, Corey makes the bold decision to tie up his stepmother, so that when she awakens from her coma, at least she can't kill him for killing her son. No end game. it's just that as long as she's tied up, he's not in danger. Corey more or less decides to keep her tied to the couch forever. Jackie drops by, looking for Biff and the pound of Cocaine he promised to do with her. But after being forced to let her in on what's happened, Corey is also convinced to help her search for the alleged Coke, in the hopes of them both having enough money to run off together. Again. This isn't going to end well.

One thing worth pointing out. Corey's fat drunk of a stepmom, whom I keep referring to as "Divine", was not the first choice for the role. According to the director, the one and only, Divine, had agreed to appear in this film to play that role, but unfortunately did not live to fulfill the obligation. Replacement-Divine, however, did a fine job in the role, and a damn fine job at being Divine-ish. A talent most women could probably do without.

One noticeable thing about this movie that I find humorous is how replacement-Divine is tied to the couch for 80% of the duration, and merely complains about being hungry and needing a beer. For 3 or 4 days she lays there, I'm guessing. And not one word about having to use the bathroom. That's weird, right? This whole movie is weird. The dialogue is dubbed, for some reason, which always makes for a confusing good time. The film took well over a year to film, which is probably why Corey's appearance and hairstyle changes like it does. Little Corey Gorey was shot in the late 80's, but wasn't released until '93. I didn't know this when I first watched it, but it does explain a lot. This seems to be marketed as some sort of Slasher, and from what I've heard, the more obscure uncut version is a little more along those lines, and would most likely result in the title making a little more sense. However, the heavily censored DVD version I saw has a very different tone. So, to me, the whole thing comes off kind of mainstream. Almost like a TV movie, except really low budget. Although, either version of this unusual and out of place B-movie is absolutely deserving of cult status. Perhaps it'll get there if it ever ends up with a decent release. As Corey, the underdog, finally got his day in the sun, I like to think this underdog of a Dark Dramedy will eventually get the same. 5/10 https://www.littlecoreygorey.com/



#Review

Things 5 (2019)

Remember that thread I did about all the alleged sequels to 1989 Canuxploitation masterpiece known as THINGS? Well this is one of them, and no, it's not the 5th sequel. This here is part 8, because continuity is but a mere mental construct. Naturally, this movie wont have anything to do with OG Things movie, and probably nothing in common with the other no-brainer half-assed pieces of shit they think they can pass off as a Things sequel these days.

So this movie starts out for a morning run. This woman has a constricting sports bra on, but don't be fooled. She's blatantly flat-chested, and yet this scene lingers for so long. Then she gets home and loads up on carbs, eating a pizza that appears to have been sitting out for some amount of time. Then she chats on the phone for a while and decides to take a shower. This goes on for a while, because pacing doesn't mean anything to some directors. Eventually, she gets out of the shower and is murdered by a mutated monster in a lab coat for some reason, and the effect is as confusing as it is inadequate.

There was no reason to follow this character for as long as we did. The director must have been in love with her. What follows is a bunch of fat women laying topless in bed talking on the phone about stuff. Meanwhile, that monster/scientist is running around and fuck me... I just watched this fucker today and I feel like my brain is doing me a favor by repressing the memory.

Also, this movie isn't poorly filmed and shot on VHS and grainy and dubbed hard to make out what's happening on the screen and it doesn't have weird mind-boggling music. If you're not gonna go the extra effort to be extra shitty, then what's the point?

This movie can go to hell. I wish I never experienced Things 5.

#Review

Dark Harvest (2023)

What the fuck was this shit? I'm a sucker for anything Halloween-related, and the movie is very polished and professional looking, but story-wise? It's a rip-off of Pumpkinhead, only more bizarre and less charming.

So as the beginning of the movie will show you, teenagers form a mob every Halloween night in this rural Gatlin-esque Children of the Corn type game they're supernaturally forced to play (is one way of putting it). The mob of jocks hunts the dangerous monster Sawtooth Jack, and whoever kills him gets to leave this cornfield city in a fancy new car. So this one jock does it by beating Sawtooth Jack to death, and then everyone surrounds him and eats his guts because they taste sweet and juicy. And that's just the first five minutes!

Doesn't matter, he revives all the time and they keep doing this to stop a family curse or some bullshit. The main protagonist teenager jock and his girlfriend think this plot is convoluted and stupid too, so they try to get out of the small town, but certain parties don't want to allow that, for some other contrived reason relating to the family curse plot. Yeah, I can't follow it either.

This movie exists for some reason.

#Review

I think AI sucks

Even as a tech guy, I think it inspires laziness. I love the idea in theory, but in practice, it's always going to fall into the hands of trolls or generally stupid people.

I joined some Halloween movie group on Facebook and half the shit on there is Michael/Jason AI images. Usually demeaning these iconic slashers by making them beefcakes or celebrating something they should have no emotion for.

Also, when I look for pictures of big-tittied women, a lot of that shit is AI, too. If it ain't fake tits, it's fake fake tits, am I right?


I think AI is doomed to make us all more dumb than we already are. Imagination? Never heard of her.

Sugar Boxx (2009)

Another women in prison movie. It intends to be a throwback, but it's far too amateur for that. In fact, this movie isn't ambitious at all. If you're going to make an exploitation throwback, why the hell would you make it so tame and boring? What's the fucking point?

I hate it when some chump with no good ideas and a lot of money is able to sway quality trash talent into very subpar projects. Talent like Jack Hill, Kitten Natividad, and Tura Santana. Then again, this movie seemed to have a shit budget because it's a "women in prison" movie, but there is no prison. They didn't even try to suggest it. This "prison" is like some rich dude's house in L.A. and every room and jail cell are just bedrooms. The women are in bikinis when they're poolside in that LA backyard, or they are dressed liesurely.

Yes, I know... this movie sounds awesome. It's just so damn boring, though. I did like this bit at the end when this rent-a-cop looking ally of the girls killed. As he lay dying, the girl gives him a blowjob as a parting gift, because he's earned it, god damnit! And as he is bleeding out, he's hard enough to cum in like 5 seconds! Of course, they don't show anything at all because this movie fucking sucks, but it's the thought that counts, right? Anyone?


Yeah, fuck this movie.

#Review

Reform School Girls (1986)

This one has been on my watchlist for about 10 years, so I figured I'd finally give in. Women in prison films are great because they feature a lot of women and a lot of exploitation. The plots are basically the same each time, with female inmates unable to expose corrupt prison antics, and this movie is no different. In fact, I can't even remember why the girl gets sent to this place to begin with, but that's not important. What's important are the many tropes of prison flicks, and we get plenty of them.


Our lead is Jenny (Linda Carol), and she's a total babe. IMDb wants us to believe that she was only 15 or 16 at the time this movie came out, but I refuse to believe that. She plays the strong-willed protagonist who will take the abuse if she needs to. And she totally gets naked.

Then you have that fat bitch on a power trip Edna (Pat Ast) out to ruin everybody's day just for the lulz. She reminds me of Nancy Parsons of Motel Hell and Porky's fame, with her smug and gloating nature. Nancy played "Ida" in Motel Hell, and Pat plays Edna in this, so there's also that.


There are plenty of hotties throughout, and even the warden has a bit of a Ilsa vibe going, but then there's one woman that's a little off.

Charlie (Wendy O. Williams) is at this alleged juvenile correction center, but she looks like she's 40! The actress is right around there too. When they say they'll double her sentence, they must have doubled it a lot! She's not a great actress, is she? I guess I refer specifically to when she dies and really milks it. I think all of her scenes are of her in skimpy attire like that. She doesn't know how to wear clothes.


So yeah, there is plenty of nudity in this movie. I really love when the lead gets topless, like in this and The Funhouse and maybe even a third movie. Plus, there's a shower scene and some other sex scenes. At one point, Jenny decides she needs this mediocre dude's "deposit", and said dude is played by James Staszkiel, who a lot of dumbasses believe was Eddie Van Halen in that scene in RoboCop where the unemployed guy is rambling about freedom not being free. He's not an attractive man, but Jenny was gushing for him.

When Lord? When the hell do I get to see the goddamn sailboat?^{have a hottie gushing over me?}

#Review

Village people poles

As requested by Mincy Vincy

Documentary Challenge 2024 •RESULTS•

Anyone in the mood for a spot of learning (or otherwise) for the month of February, can make your spot below.

1 point for every minute watched of any documentary (minimum duration of 30 minutes).

Add 10 points for a documentary about a dark subject matter (serial killers, war, etc.).

Add 20 points for a documentary about the horror genre or a specific horror movie.

Get an extra 25 bonus points for a FTV.

All of the above includes per episode of a series.

DVD and Blu-ray commentaries and mockumentaries/pseudo-documentaries will not be permitted. It's strictly for learning shit.

No YouTube videos.

The Documentary Challenge will begin Thursday 1st February at 00:00 hrs and end on the 29th at 23:59.

Please post any questions in the shoutbox.

Have fun with your knowledge gaining!

The Crow remake is looking pretty bad...

There are pics of Skarsgard as the main hero, and his haircut looks stupid, and so do his tattoos. Someone said they're modeling him on Jared Leto's Joker, and that seems possible. Why would anyone want to do that, though?

The original film's director Alex Proyas doesn't seem impressed either. I think Bill could be a good fit if only they went with the more traditional look. He is bug-eyed yet weirdly handsome enough that he could play the part adequately, but they really should have ripped off the original look like all the shitty sequels did. At least I wouldn't have the costumes and outfits to complain about.