3 From Hell

Rob Zombie is a master of undoing himself. When he shit on^made Halloween in 2007, he wasn't very sure what he was doing throughout the movie and it shows. He even explained in commentary how many alternate takes and scenes he went through because he didn't know which ones to use or basically what he was doing at all with that movie, but at least he ended it on a decent note. Michael got blasted in the face with a magnum and you saw his blood splatter everywhere. Then, he undid this dramatic ending for his shitty interpretation of a horror icon when he made a part 2 and made the gunshot simply graze the side of his head. 14 years after the Firefly clan got riddled with bullets at the end of The Devils Rejects in one hell of a satisfying and definitive ending for a short-lived series... Rob Zombie undoes another good ending so he can milk it some more in "3 From Hell"!!

Now, if you can get over how preposterous their survival is... the rest of the movie will play out a lot like The Devils Rejects. The structure of that movie is used heavily in the DNA of his new effort to the point where many of the scenes are comparable to scenes in the prior flick, with only slight differences.

In a vague simplification, the structure of the movie entails our "heroes" fleeing from the law, torturing somewhat of a family unit, laying low for a little R and R, and being targeted for revenge by disgruntled victims. If that ain't the same structure we've seen before, then what's new? The answer is not much. However, despite being a complete rehash, the movie is otherwise very entertaining and well made. Rob Zombie has learned a lot over the years when it comes to filmmaking. One thing he hasn't learned is that his wife is still very annoying.

Sherri Moon as Baby Firefly has been locked away primarily in solitary for most of the time span between this and the last film (about a decade?). She's gone completely loony in that time, and some of her scenes are cringe-worthy in how obnoxious her acting can be. At other times, she can be bearable, but Rob definitely puts her on a pedestal and thinks she's a lot cooler and more bad-ass than she actually is. Oh well...

Bill Moseley as Otis, however, hasn't changed at all. He's still the grouchy arrogant asshole that we all love, always spouting off some devil shit about how great he is and how stupid and victimlike everyone else is. He's become the new de facto leader of the group, seeing as how Spaulding isn't around for very long.

I expect it's due to Sid Haig's age and mobility as to why he was given a very small part in the film. He spouts off a few lines of dialogue in the beginning and is mostly included for novelty, because he's everyone's favorite redneck killer clown, and we needed to have him in this movie to some extent.

To conclude the third character in the trio, Rob puts another one of his regulars into the spotlight, Richard Brake as Foxy the Midnight Wolfman. This is Otis's half brother, and he doesn't have as strong of a personality as the others, but he's more the laidback type who goes with the flow of whatever bullshit Otis spouts off. Somehow, he fits right in there though.

Without saying too much more about it, the film is still an exciting experience to see everyone come back together for some more carnage. There's plenty of Rob Zombie's classic trademark material including graphic violence, crude language, perverse sexuality, loads of nudity, and interesting shots and camerawork. You can tell that everyone involved in the movie had a blast making it, and that's part of why this unnecessary sequel somehow manages to work.

One of the best things about any RZ movie is the cast. You'll always see those regular actors he uses time and time again, with Jeff Daniel Philips playing the twirly-stached warden, Dee Wallace playing a dyke prison guard, Danny Trejo as Rondo, Pancho Moler as the loveable one-eyed midget, Clint Howard as the birthday clown in the wrong place at the wrong time, and a few others. Much to my surprise, we even had Barry Bostwick as the narrator.

If you liked The Devils Rejects, you might as well watch 3 From Hell. It's not as impactful as TDR, but it's better than some of the other shit he's made.

Oh NO! RIP Ric Ocasek of The Cars!

The Cars is one of the most 80's bands ever, even though they came out in the late 70s. They were new wave and yet they pioneered the synth pop sound that dominated the 80s.

Ric was kind of a beatnik, and even played "beatnik cat" in John Waters' Hairspray. I loved ALL of The Cars music, and Ric even had a pretty damn good solo career. I'm very very upset about this...

When The Cars reunited in 2011, that album was GREAT. I listened to the fuck out of that album and was highly anticipating a follow-up, until now. This is some awful news.

2019 Sci-Fi/Fantasy Challenge

Come one, come all! Cum on the woman with three boobs from Total Recall! Because it's time for another Sci-Fi/Fantasy Challenge, where a woman with three boobs isn't out of place.

The rules for this will be the same as before. For anyone new or in need of a refresher, it's simple. You receive one point per minute for anything you watch, as long as it falls under the genres of sci-fi or fantasy. TV shows, shorts, and documentaries are allowed.

This challenge starts at 12:00 AM on September 1st and ends at 11:59 PM on September 30th, just in time for everyone's favorite, the October Challenge.

Make your SPOT below.

If you're looking for recs, try the 2017 https://trashepics.com/post/7/11/ and 2018 https://trashepics.com/post/9/211/ challenges.

Best adaptations of Stephen King

1. Stand By Me
2. Carrie
3. It Chapter 1
4. The Shining
5. Maximum Overdrive

The Dora Movie

This movie was better than it had any right to be. In my limited window between work shifts, I could watch either Peanut Butter Falcon or Dora the goddamn Explorer. I never watched the cartoon because I'm not a baby, but I needed some easy fantasy points, and somehow... it ended up being a decent flick. Engaging, funny, and generally entertaining.

The studios must have taken a hint from the success of Jumanji, jumping on that jungle adventure bandwagon and adding a bit of Goonies to the mix.

Also, Dora was very cute. I can totally say that, because the actress is 18. She also looks a hell of a lot like a young Vanessa Hudgens. If she was any younger though, I would say, "I'm not attracted to her at all."

IT: Chapter Two

IT: Chapter Two came out last week, and I went to watch it. I wasn't expecting much becuase sequels usually fall short, and aren't as good as the first one. But for me, this isn't the case for IT. I really loved what they did with the sequel, and I honestly enjoyed the slowness of tying it all together. The casting of the older Losers was pretty much spot on. and I really liked how they interwove the past memories with what is happening in the present. I don't want to go much more into the movie, but it was pretty fantastic.



For those that have watched it, what are your thoughts? And which do you prefer, the original or the remake?

#It

2019 Sci-Fi/Fantasy Draft!

So to help compliment and promote my favorite draft of the year (maybe second only the the black & white), I am going to organize and run a Sci-Fy/Fantasy draft.

The rules are simple:
1. Reply /in to get in!
2. When it is your turn, select a Sci-Fy/Fantasy character
3. Each match select a line-up from your pool
4. Have fun!

Here's how it works:
1. Once all players have joined they will be put in a random order of pairs
2. Players will have a pool of 10 characters that they draft
3. Each rouch players will select 7 of their characters
4. Players must use all of their characters every 2 rounds
5. Bracket will be a standard double elimination bracket
6. Have fun!

Rules for voting:
1. Contests will be held one at a time
2. Votes will only be cast by contestants not in the current contest
3. Ties will be broken by a coint toss

Contestants:
1. Der_Tables
2. Box_a_Hair
3. Snowey_Owl
4. Bambithedeart
5. PickOfDestiny
6. Ballz
7. Gymnopedie
8. ZombieCPA

Drafting Order:
1. PickOfDestiny
2. Der_Tables
3. Ballz
4. Box_a_Hair
5. Snoweey_Owl
6. Bambithedeart
7. ZombieCPA
8. Gymnopedie

Picks:
PickOfDestiny: Mark Watney (The Martian), Predator (Predator), Starlord (Gaurdians of the Galaxy), Neo (Matrix), T-1000 (T2), Blade (Blade), Hackerman (Kung Fury), Alice (Residant Evil), Tallahassee (Zombieland), The Kid (Turbokid)

Der_Tables: T800 Terminator (T2), Lightning McQueen (Cars 3), Malcom Reynolds (Firefly), Ellen Ripley (Alien), Dr. Zaius (Planet of the Apes), Toxic Avenger (The Toxic Avenger), Triceracop (Kung Fury), Bender (Futurama), Doc Brown (Back to the Future), Herbert West (Reanimater)

Ballz: Robocop (Robocop), Roy Batty (Blade Runner), Max Rockatansky (Mad Max), Snake Plissken (Escape from New York), Darth Vader (Star Wars), Alex (A Clockwork Orange), Marty McFly (Back to the Future), The Gunslinger (Westworld '73), Reggie (Phantasm), Nada (They Live)

Box_a_Hair: Jack Burton (Big Trouble in Little China), Michael Waits (Troll 2), Kung Fury (Kung Fury), Swamp Thing (Swamp Thing), Special Agent Dale Cooper (Twin Peaks), Dr. Dan Challis (Halloween 3), Morty Smith (Rick and Morty), Tim, the Enchanter(Monty Python and the Holy Grail), Jack Deth (Trancers), Lucien Sanchez (Darkplace)

Snoweeey_Owle: Douglas Quaid (Total Recall), Sarah Connor (Terminator), Han Solo (Star Wars), Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Gordon Cole (Twin Peaks), The Flash (The Flash), Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare on Elm Street), Ashley "Ash" J. William (Evil Dead), Edward Scissorhands (Edward Scissorhands), Eric Draven (The Crow)


Bambithedeart: Dom Cobb (Inception), Xenomorph (Alien), Steve Rogers (Captian America), Furiousa (Mad Max 4), Frank N Furter (Rocky Horror Picture Show), Chewbacca (Star Wars), Gamora (Gaurdians of the Galaxy), Wonder Woman (Wonder Woman 2017), Ian Malcom (Jurasic Park), Trinity (Matrix)

ZombieCPA: Frankenstein's Monster (Frankenstein), King Kong (King Kong), Gojira / Godzilla (Godzilla), Dr. Jack Griffin (The Invisible Man), The Blob (The Blob), Killbot (Chopping Mall), Taarna (Heavy Metal), Flash Gordon (Flash Gordon), Jack Skellington (A Nightmare Before Christmas), Irena Dubrovna Reed (Curse of Cat People)



Gymnopedie: Vincent Freeman (Gattaca), Donnie Darko (Donnie Darko), Aaron, "Man" (Tetsuo), Jake Epping (11.22.63), John Oldman (The Man from Earth), Truman Burbank (The Truman Show), Nemo (Mr. Nobody), Winston Smith (1984), Tom Creo (The Fountain)

Board Modifications, and a reflection of what became of TE

As you know, I've been working on a lot of stuff lately, and you'll be seeing those changes in seemingly random increments. Posts are now able to be categorized under as many boards as you want, and that required me to go through EVERY post and manually set them. That means I had to go back in time, to the very first posts of Trash Epics. In doing so, I saw all that potential we had, and all those users who were once very active, only to see our userbase dissipate over petty squabbles.

I'm not going to lie about my feelings. No one here will ever understand how hard this has been on me. I've put so much of my life into this site, only to see 90% of its userbase turn their backs on it in favor of social media conglomerates, or even internet abstinence.

I went into this with the best of intentions, trying to provide an ideal place for horror boarders and trash fanatics even before the fall of imdb, sacrificing some of the best years of my life trying to make this place something that people could be happy to be a part of. I look back on the people who used to post here, and I miss them. They were all so enthusiastic to be a part of this at one point, but now where are they?

I've tried to reach out to a few of them, only to get no response. I miss the likes of shaza123, slasherfan85, moffat, RedHawk10, skeelo, sethyeah, FarmerVincent, deadandburied81, iceflamez, BarkingBaphomet, psychotronicbeatnik, Shadow-345, and countless others. And dare I say, I even miss Tromafreak.

I think about these things more than I care to admit. I feel hurt about it more than anything. I thought of these people as friends. I thought we had something special going here, taking a stand against the moral bankruptcies of so many other mass social media platforms that only care about fans and making money, only to find these people turn their backs on everything I tried to accomplish here, without any word as to why they're doing it.

I know a lot of it stemmed from politics. I was pro-Trump in the election era, but I never thought I'd lose so many friends because of it. Sure, people will tell you that they're not real friends if they abandon you over opinions like this, but it doesn't make it any less devastating. I've lost these so-called "friends" because I thought I had common sense, but in retrospect, I know I should have kept quiet about certain things, whether I believed them or not.

People you've been close to for years can be so willing to throw you away because you believe in something that they don't, and I guess it hits me so hard because I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't throw away my friends because they don't share the same political or religious beliefs as me. I'm 30 years old, and I feel so stupid sometimes for believing that people can legitimately care about things that are different than they are.

Trash Epics was never about making money. It's a passion project and outlet for movies first and foremost. Why so many people had to take offense to that is beyond me, but a majority of them left without a word. I'll never know why our most confided users left us, because they do so abruptly, as if we ought to know better.

Again, this is why I feel stupid, because I don't know why. Life is hard enough trying to make ends meet. I know I play the poor white trash card a lot, because I'm generally uneducated and spend far too much of my time making next to nothing, yet somehow, I seem to offend people enough that they want nothing to do with me. It's hard to wrap my head around, and that's why it eats away at my soul so much. I suppose everyone has their issues, and I'm not seeing the big picture, but so much of my life is overwhelmed with regret, because I know that somewhere down the line, I know I fucked it all up. For the life of me, I'm just too dumb to know how.


I've had about a hundred ounces of beer tonight and it isn't helping. I had a dream last night that took me back to my teen years when I had ambitions and enthusiasm, ready to make my imprint of sleaze and self-confidence in the world, but I lose more and more of that every day. I don't have the passion for anything, because most of my life is caught in the grind of working one job one day, and going to sleep early so I can make it to the next job on the day after. It gets to me, and while I try to utilize the rest of my time in working on site updates, I feel like it doesn't matter what I do. I never seem to get anything done. Markus must think I'm a real tool for failing so hard on these challenges, and he wouldn't be wrong. I drain all my energies for a cause that less and less people seem to believe in, and it's discouraging, but it's all I have, and I can't quit. The moment I give up on this site is the moment I die.

I thank God for those here who haven't given up on it yet. No matter how many bugs and server errors they've seen over the years. I just wish others could have had more faith in this place, and faith in me. As much as I want to hate some of them for leaving, I'm really only mad at myself for fucking it all up, and I wish things could be different.


In a perfect world, Trash Epics would have been the ideal horror board replacement. Instead, I see the likes of that godawful IMDB2, moviechat, filmboards, and even facebook getting it right where I couldn't. Sometimes, you have to bite the bullet and cut your losses. The days of the horror board are dead, people are sheep, and we can only ever work toward something new. These days, I guess I'm working only to keep myself distracted from my own thoughts, but they always bleed through, especially after a drink or six. Maybe I'm just not drinking enough, because I can't seem to drown these sorrows out. I wish I could reinvigorate audiences with something new and unique, but I haven't thought of it yet, and I'm not sure I ever will.

The Philadelphia Experiment (1984)

Here's a good sci-fi movie that randomly popped into my head that would be perfect to watch for this month's challenge. Based on a book, this is a time-traveling military experiment gone wrong. Originally to be directed by John Carpenter, he opted to be executive producer instead, essentially outstretching his hand and collecting that paycheck. Trivia says he never even met the director. 😄

So back in 1943, an experiment in invisibility goes wrong, sending David Herdeg (Michael Pare) and his fellow navy buddy to 1984, where things continue to go wrong for the two. The military is after them, David's buddy is phasing in and out of existence, and a hole in the sky seems to be sucking in air, and it's only getting bigger. David seeks help from an unsuspecting Allison (Nancy Allen), someone in the wrong place at the wrong time, but then again... the same could be said about David, right?

The two leads have good chemistry, and this is perhaps both of their best roles. Michael Pare is a cool guy whose career started off strong, but began to nosedive into a succession of bit parts in crappy B-movies, like Maximum Conviction with Steven Seagal, and Blubberella. Apparently, he's even in a 2012 made-for-tv remake of this very movie, which looks like syfy quality. There was also a sequel to the 1984 movie in 1993, but they recast our protagonist, so I didn't care to see it.

This movie has some interesting things going for it, like rifts, phasing/merging, time loops, and unnatural romance. I like it.

Tits

Tits are wonderful. Post pictures of your favorite movie tits in the coments.