Bride of the Monster!

I'm watching this shit for some easy challenge points, but it ain't as easy as I thought it'd be. Sure, I've seen this film before, but it's definitely boring as fuck. I think the scenes about the making of it in Ed Wood (1994) are a lot better than the movie itself. Ed Wood's movies aren't the worst I've seen, but they're pretty dull.

And to think, I used to aspire to BE this guy! Back when I was just getting into trash, he was regarded as a seminal force for b-movie history, and I do admire his passion, which may be exaggerated by Johnny Depp's performance (I honestly don't know), but the dude wasn't talented, and these stories of his are kind of bogus.

I'm still interested in seeing his monster pornos, though. You know... the one with the werewolf, where you can clearly see where his hairy gloves end and his regular arm begins?


So back to this turkey called The Atomic Monster Monster of the Marshes Bride of the Atom Bride of the Monster...

I think Bela Lugosi is fucking wonderful. He could've made a movie where he meets a Brooklyn Gorilla and I'd like it. Oh wait... he did that... and while that movie was stupid, I still like him in it. He'd always play his role seriously, despite awful screenplays and/or production values. And this is the movie where he wants to create a race of atomic supermen to rule ze vorld!! I could listen to that man ramble all day long...

Now Tor Johnson on the other hand? He only had one expression. He was an awful actor, but at the same time, he's still great. In this movie, he gets fucked up, but he comes back in the sequel "Night of the Ghouls", under heavy make-up, and that movie is also awful.

Definitely not Ed Wood's best. I think most people would say Graverobbers from Outer Space^{Plan 9 from Outer Space} is his best, but I rather like Glen or Glenda. Something about that shitty faux-documentary feel of it works wonders. Pool da streengz!

At least Bride of the Monster has a great octopus fight scene.

Hey weenies!

Figured I'd give this place a look. This TEDb layout is BOSS!

She said... Pussywillow! Serial Mom (1994)

"Officer, I'm sorry, but we don't allow gum in this house."

John Waters has certainly had an interesting career. He started off with the ultimate trash epics, but he became a little more polished as time went on. By the time Hairspray was laid on thick in 1988, it was questionable as to whether JW lost his touch with his inner sleazeball... or became more subversive than ever.

Kathleen Turner plays the role of Beverly Sutphin with a big fake smile always on her face. She's a delight to watch, because she's so full of shit. This movie might have a strong message regarding to society's fascination with serial killers, but it never paints them in a bad picture. For all intents and purposes, Serial Mom is the protagonist of the movie, and we're rooting for her all the way.

There's no good reason for it, but Beverly snapped one day. She has some awfully petty reasons for doing what she does, but to her, she's entirely justified. I'm sure a lot of serial killers think they're doing the world a favor, but this woman is looney, and that's why she's so fun to watch.


It's also interesting to see Matthew Lillard playing a horror-movie obsessed teenager, only two years before Scream. Being a John Waters movie, they reference some great sleaze, like Blood Feast, and a bunch of gold vhs in a video store, including most of John Waters' own movies. When I see a video copy of Zombi 2, it makes me feel at home. Just look at all these titles John Waters was compelled to include in the video store in this movie, and all the other references:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111127/movieconnections

Some real winners in that selection. Apparently, that was(is?) John Waters actual video store. Plus, I still can't believe I never watched that Chesty Morgan flick.


What starts off as a peculiar suburban dilemma escalates into an off-the-wall serial killer rampage, and for the dumbest reasons. Maybe I didn't get this movie before, but I found it pretty hilarious in this latest viewing.

Always remember to wear your seatbelt!

Jared Padalecki running the Boston Marathon

The Boston Marathon goes right past my apartment building. I'm pretty close to the 23 mile mark. I was a big fan of Supernatural for the first six or seven seasons, so I just waited out in the rain to cheer on Jared P. His wife Genevieve ran it too, and apparently she's a pretty amazing athlete because she was MUCH faster than Jared. Anyway, I feel like a complete schmuck because I basically missed him. I did see him, but he was already past me. I sort of cheered him on, but only because I cheered everyone on that ran past me. I had looked at Twitter just a short time before he ran by me, and I was expecting him to be wearing sort of a reddish orange jacket/sweatshirt thing. But, he had taken it off, and had a black sweatshirt on underneath. Also, he was wearing dark glasses, and his hair looked darker than normal because it was raining and it got wet. So anyway, he ran right past me. God dammit.

What Makes You Wince?

After all these years of watching horror movies, I still find myself wincing if something is shown with teeth or fingernails. I can't help but cringe. 🤮

Tell us about your Cell Phone habits!

Cell phones, dude. I never had one until about 2 years ago, but now I don't want to live without it. Quite simply, they are convenient as fuck. The concept of apps is that you can have a computer figure out the whole thing for you. I'm interested in what kind of shit people would want on an app, because app development may be the next step in Trash Epics' evolution. Or in an equally possible scenario, it may be nothing. Who knows?

I'm sure @zed can have some valuable input for apps, and for everyone else, just tell us a bit about what you do on your phone.

- Do you have a phone?
- If so, what kind? (android, iphone, windows?)
- Do you like your phone, or does it piss you off?
- What apps do you use the most?
- What do you think there should be an app for?
- Do you hate Scream, cell phones, and "meta" shit in horror movies?

I'll start: Android, it's always been good to me, and it's got a sexy black case with toxic green on the borders. I use Chrome, Facebook Messenger, Google Maps, and Bing (to get my amazon gift card credits). There are apps for everything, but I'd only care about a few things like calculators and timers, etc. I'd make the Trash App-ics app, but I don't know what the point would be.

Question about Halloween (1978)

I was watching Halloween (1978) for the current challenge today. I should have saved it for tonight, but oh well. Anyway, one thing that has always bothered me is the scene where Michael escapes the asylum. How the hell did he know how to drive? I know this has to have been asked before. Am I missing something here?

Favorite Movie Taglines

These days, they get really lazy with taglines, or they flat-out don't have them. These sort of things help sell a movie and most of the time, taglines suck. Or their just short and simple and stupid. There are a few standouts, though. Some of my favorites:

Easy Rider (1969) - A man went looking for America. And couldn't find it anywhere...

Re-Animator (1985) - Herbert West has a very good head on his shoulders... and another one in a dish on his desk.

Alien (1979) - In space, no one can hear you scream.

Killer Klownz from Outer Space (1988) - In space, no one can eat ice cream.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) - Who will survive and what will be left of them?

Vertigo (1958) - A tall story about a pushover


Got any more good ones?

Import IMDb Ratings

Gymno said I should implement this, so I finally did. Where is he, anyway?

So yeah, if you're too lazy to rate stuff on here, you can import your imdb ratings onto Trash Epics. This will of course adjust your 10 star vote to our 5 star system:

1 or 2 = 1/5
3 or 4 = 2/5
5 or 6 = 3/5
7 or 8 = 4/5
9 or 10 = 5/5

You can go to IMDb and export your ratings to a csv file, then upload them here at https://trashepics.com/app/import_ratings/

Any titles you rated that aren't in our database will be logged, so we can add them later if we're not too lazy.

I don't imagine many people will use this, but it was a coding project, and I learned some stuff from it, so no worries. I briefly tested it, but it should work. If not, report any bugs in this thread.

What's up?

So here we are... Trash Epics in 2019! And what a state we're in!

I ain't gonna lie... losing some of our most valuable posters over the DUMBEST SHIT IN HISTORY really does upset me. I could elaborate on why I'm so pissed about Tromafreak, Onyx, and Johan's decision to leave this place, but I wont, because quite frankly... their reasons are stupid as fuck, and they can all go fuck themselves for putting me in this position. I did nothing but cater to every one of their goddamn requests, and they treat me like I'm the devil himself. Fuck that noise, and fuck those lousy two-bit fake friends that toyed with my emotions so much. I had faith in them, and they ALL let me down, and now they're laughing about it. Ha ha. Very fuckin' funny, you guys. You sure showed me. 🙄



There was a time when we had nearly 200 users, and more along the way. Now, we have a handful of regulars, and I know they wont stick around when the tumbleweeds take over. Again, this stuff bothers me, because I have so much faith in TE. It's all I believe in, really, and it's hard to convey my points to others, because people haven't lived in my shoes. They don't know what's kept me going, and seemingly, they don't care, either.

Ever since I was a kid, I've been studying the internet. Slowly, but surely, I've looked into many facets of its being. I've contemplated facebook and twitter and other social media platforms, and I've come to various conclusions about their effectiveness and shortcomings, and I've worked to create a place that can be optimized for the horror/trash loving crowd, but people don't understand. They point the finger at something that only wants to exist in their favor, and give them what they would want out of a website. As the world progresses technologically, people give less thought into what makes these environments work, because they don't have to think about something if it's standardized. Facebook and Twitter are standards, even if they have data breaches and loads of ads. People don't care, because it's regular.


I hate to be a buzzkill, but my goal to remedy that is by making TE even better. Not that anyone is going to care at this point, but I'm working on all sorts of shit:

Undoing Johan's Dastardly Deeds - It's like the snap of Thanos, and you have to figure out a way to undo what just happened. I have most of his content, and I plan on restoring it as soon as I work out the kinks. As much as he pisses me off, I still liked that guy's contributions, and his absense has destroyed a lot of site content. For shame.

New Notification System - Yeah yeah, I know the current notification system is kind of fucked, but it's the best I could come up with at the time. I've gotten a few ideas together to make notifications more dynamic, fixing that PM +1 nonsense and adding more notifications, with mark-as-read functionality and all that jazz. Should be cumming soon...

Der's Arcade Shennanigans - This is a big project we'll be working on, basically mashing a bunch of old school pixel games into a TE game hub. Arcade games, card games, board games, etc. We want to try it all. Currently, we have a couple dozen games in mind... It's kinda like that NES game "Action 52", only it wont suck ass.

Of course, there's always stupid little things I find that I need to fix, but I've been focusing on these ideas lately. I'm also thinking we need a new way to recruit users. I hate when I have to talk about this stuff, but the traffic lately has been scaring me. This stuff used to work so easily on here, now I'm having to exert all my energy just to keep it comatose.

Come on, guys. Let's hold hands and sing Kumbaya. Also, let's watch some black and white trash. Youtube has some gold. Just talk about stuff. Anything. Horror, trash, both, or neither.