Where the Hell is Gutterballs 2?

Earlier this month, I watched Gutterballs. The goddamn bowling ball slasher that's also a rape/revenge story, and it's awesomely fucked. It's got great gore, and while the characters aren't written to be anything exceptional, these characters are awesome cliches. The actors act the hell out of those roles, and I love the main jock douchebag who says "fuck" a lot. He makes the movie for me. What an effort. The redneck guy is also top notch.

So yeah, enough sucking that movie's dick. I love it, and yet I've heard no word on the sequel, which apparently came out in 2015. Has anybody seen this? How do you top a movie as great as Gutterballs?

New Halloween - How did Roy get peanut butter on his penis?

So he spills some peanut butter whilst setting a mouse trap.

But how did he get it on his penis? It doesn't seem physically possible whilst wearing clothes. Unless he has it hanging out of his shorts. Whilst in a household of females. Bizarre.

RIP director/sfx guy John Carl Buechler

He hasn't done very much that I'm aware of, but it was enough to leave an impression. In 1986, he directed the first Harry Potter movie. It was called "Troll" and it was so-so. In recent years, he campaigned to remake it, but that fell through.

A couple years after Troll, he directed Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, a movie so graphic, it was cut to shreds by the MPAA until it was barely recognizable. They got pretty bad with what they'd deem appropriate in all of their movies, but Part 7 had it the worst. They cut out entire characters and kills because they couldn't handle what was being depicted on screen.

This also marked the first time that the definitive Jason, Kane Hodder, would put on the hockey mask, and this is the most he'd been at Crystal Lake for all of his efforts. After this movie, Jason left camp to go to New York, Hell, and Space, so in a sense, JCB directed the last true Jason movie to be set at Camp Crystal Lake.

Then, a few years later, he directed a movie I found surprisingly awesome, and that movie is... Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College. This movie was so cheezy, it thought it was still in the 80s. Kevin McCarthy played an evil dean in it, and he was fun to watch.

JCB mostly did effects, with some stuff in Trancers, From Beyond, Bride of Re-Animator, Halloween 4, Dolls, and a bunch of other stuff. I remember him as Cracker Jack, the doomsayer in Adam Green's Hatchet 1 and 2. Every good slasher needs a doomsayer, and this one drank his own piss.

So it's a bummer to lose a guy like JCB. He's one of those horror/sfx nuts who seemed to love what he did.

Sun-drenched horror movie recs?

Anyone got some good sun-drenched horror movie recs? I am looking for beautifully shot horror movies, with a great amount of golden light/sun in them. I love these type of movies. Here is what I have seen and liked that fits this catagory:

Long Weekend (1978)
The Territory (1981)
Who Can Kill a Child? (1976)
The Dead (2010)
The Objective (2008)
Duel (1971 TV Movie)
The Dead 2: India (2013)
The Reflecting Skin (1990)
The Grapes of Death (1978)
Tombs of the Blind Dead (1972)
And Soon the Darkness (1970)
Race with the Devil (1975)
It Stains the Sands Red (2016)

Anyone got some good sun-drenched horror movie recs?

Dawn of the Dead is a trash epic

Nah... not even trash. Just epic. I watched again for this month's challenge, and I still love it. This movie changed my fucking LIFE.

I still remember the days when I was just getting into horror movies, and I had to binge all the classics. It was a better time, circa 2005, when Anchor Bay was king, and when you were more willing to blind buy a dvd, because the market wasn't oversaturated with crap. I saw this damn movie and it blew my fucking mind. Romero wrote such an excellent social commentary, with a wonderful cast of characters that really reels you in to the carnage and consumerism and character development, and that's what I fucking loved about Romero. He was such a good writer! He was a better writer than director IMO, but together, he was unstoppable. His scope was so epic, his stories were so damn good, and Dawn is the culmination of his narrative prowess. Everything about Dawn of the Dead is perfect, and I consider it a top-10 movie.

There are only so many movies that have as good a replay value as this movie. I've seen this movie dozens of times, and I still remember how awesome the movie was when I first saw it. I stood up and cheered when Ken Foree turned the tables on the zombies and that shittily-awesome triumphant music played. The movie sets the standards for not only the entire zombie subgenre, but the horror genre itself. It set the bar so high, not even Romero himself could beat it with his successors like Day and Land and whatnot. It's really the culmination of the 70s in many ways. A triumph in filmmaking.

As tommix likes to say, "We must stupp the keeling, or loose the wharr!"

"Mangina!" •Eddie Murphy laugh• - (not) Ken Foree

"Blow all their Puerto Rican and n•gg•r asses right off!" - Rascism trash points

"We whipped 'em. We whipped 'em good."

So many quotes in this movie, it's hard to praise them all...

Where the Hell is Jim Van Bebber?

In search of some easy trash points, I also watched The Manson Family again. Jim Van Bebber's finite career is fascinating. He's made a handful of short films, some music videos, and then a couple of hardcore grindhouse films! Then for a while now, I haven't heard any buzz for this guy. He was supposed to make that damn Gator Green short and/or movie, but I can't find anything about it. Is it real? Either way, I don't want just a 15 minute short. I want to see another full-length feature from this guy!

The Manson Family has always been one of my favorites. It's got a lot going for it, as does his first feature "Deadbeat at Dawn", a gritty gang movie about a badass who's got a score to settle. Also, him playing prominent roles in both movies is pretty awesome, because he won me over with his great fight choreography.

I read somewhere that he probably used the alleged movie's budget on buying weed, which would be both tragic and hilariously ballsy, but I hope I can see more of this guy's work out there. We only have so few auteurs left. Those who make movies without any restrictions. I believe Jim is one of them. He makes it the way he wants it, and funding is obviously going to be hard to secure for that risky breed, but someone with a lot of money has to figure it out soon, right? Give this guy the money! Give him whatever he wants!

Where the Hell was I?

Not that anyone cares about Marvel movies around here, but Captain Marvel was somehow pretty awesome. It begins with a Stan Lee tribute that made me really sad, then jumped right into some space alien shit.

Some alien civilizations versus another, yada yada... Caught in the middle of this is some amnesiac lady with fiery hands who crashes to earth to assemble a team of Sam Jackson and an orange cat so that she can fight Jude Law. That's right. Jude fucking Law.

Also, this movie is a franchise prequel, based on a character I never heard of until recently. Somehow, the pieces all seem to work. I liked the adventures with young Nick^Nicholas Fury. It's good to see Coulson back on the big screen. And somehow, beyond all comprehension... it's nice to see the 1990s again!

For those of us who love the attention to detail, they went into blockbuster and blasted a cutout of True Lies. On the shelves, I saw a few titles, such as Last Action Hero, Hook, and some other 90s shit. Babe poster on the wall. They replicated an entire nostalgia factory for all the memberberries out there.

This is some quality MCU stuff here, but the best part was the ending. Well... ideally, anyway. I didn't see the whole movie. But it's just a bunch of space ships and aliens fighting each other either way. Good guy^girl probably wins. Where the hell was I?

Shall i stay or should i go

As some here may know I'm living with a girl in Barcelona, i have been since Christmas.
Needless to say moving here from nz was a bit of a jump, though not the first time I've made such a leap.
Anyways this concerns me and the gf.
Now it hasn't been going the best between us for a while, even back in nz i had my doubts about her, i even wrote a long post to one of her friends ultimately asking him if she was taking any medication, as she would go from happy to super angry, upset over literally the smallest unimportant things. I.e was she bi polar? Is this crazy behaviour she does just normal for her? I had never seen anything like this before. Though after sending it with WhatsApp to him i decided to delete it a couple of hours later before he read it. Ok so i did come here thinking perhaps she we be a bit more sane when I'm actually there, hmmmm :) haha yeah right that was gonna work

Arriving here i quickly came to the realization she's not actually a nice person at all, not just not nice, she can be a downright asshole talking about about people she has never met, if i try to defend these people then i open myself for attack also. '˜Zed how can you not see this, why are you not agreeing with me' etc, ultimately i have to agree with whatever the subject is cause that's the only way to stop her talking about a subject incessantly. I'm not exaggerating i think the subject is closed and thank God for that, and then an hour later, out comes her abuse of whatever the subject is again. So tiring. Over and over again, I've never experienced anyone who behaves like this before, eye opening to me. And then there's the attacks on me personally, seems whatever i do it's just wrong, such a negative person i have never met. She wonders why sometimes i don't mention things to her? God sometimes I'm almost afraid to mention anything for dear of awakening her criticism, she complains about her mum doing this to her, but apparently she is totally unaware that's exactly how she behaves to me. She has a complex about her mum's behaviour and from what she has told me about her mum, that's warranted. The thing is, perhaps that's true, but perhaps that's not true, but now i know her far better i have no idea what to believe, she speaks total BS so often, for the longest time i thought, oh she's knows she's lying and doesn't want to admit it but now after conducting tests i have come to the conclusion she is not lying!!!, she actually believes the crap she says! No matter how easily proven false it is, even presented with reality and being told this is reality, its like she sees something else, it's so so weird, i have to fight to stop myself pointing out the obvious weak points in her stories. I now come to understand Donald trump better from living with her. So many times she professes to know more about a field from some googling than the scientists who actually have worked in the field for years. So much hubris. So much unearthly self belief in herself. Perfect dunning kruger specimen

So Why am i still here?
Well i still like her, i still think i can change her :) even still, though i know it's not gonna happen, i see a lot of myself in her, yes i've never been so extreme, and I'm now more aware of these flaws in myself, she actually makes me try and improve myself, which is good.
Also i like Barcelona, and speaking Catalan, learning some Spanish also is beneficial, i like knowledge.
Also seeing parts of the countryside that i haven't seen it's also cool.
And most important she is my twin, we are soooo similar, yes i know this sounds bad but hey that's part of the reason i love her

So what say thee

Title...

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Get it

Lords of Chaos

What a glorious mess of a film.

Directed by the guy who briefly drummed in Bathory on their first album, "Lords of Chaos" tells the story of Euronymous, guitarist of Mayhem and founder of Norweigan black metal and the "true events" that transpired in the early days of that scene - suicide, church burnings, murder and lots and lots of heavy metal posturing.

We've all heard about these ghastly, now legendary stories over the years so when I found out they were making a movie version of the events, I was stoked. Even after I saw the trailer which left no doubt in my mind this is a comedy.

It's a disaster in more ways than one. The acting. The delivery of dialogue. The shifts in tone which go from lighthearted, teen angst type fare to scenes of disturbingly brutal violence. The whole movie is just "off" but I'm guessing the director felt it was necessary to balance out the grim subject matter and make it more palatable for the masses. Especially people who are completely ignorant to black metal in the first place.

I doubt it was ever intended to be the ultimate statement on these crimes, much less an accurate one. But what it is is a pretty entertaining broad overview of what happened with more than likely some major embellishments and moments of disturbing, graphic violence of the old school practical fx variety.

Moderately recommended.