It's almost time for challenge season! October is getting nearer and nearer. We're gonna have Horror running outta our asses, soon. That's why September is our month to not only take a little break from our favorite genre before we delve in full-blast, but to also have a bit of a warm up challenge, if you will.
So, for the month of September, we're gonna geek out on any movie or tv show we want that offers even a little Sci-fi or Fantasy. That means plenty of Horror is still fair game. And like last year, we're doing a point a minute. I'll have the Progress thread up by this weekend.
Recs? Questions? Comments?
Today, we're going to talk about one of the weird ones. In fact, we're going to talk about THE weird one, as far as I'm concerned. A movie I've had a hell of a time thinking up words for. It's called Things, and it was made in Canada in the late 80's by Andrew Jordan and Barry J. Gillis. Although, it strangely has a bit of a 90's feel to it. I watched Things for the first of many times about four years ago, not long after the dvd release. And now that I've thought it over, I think I'm finally ready to talk about this.
Don claims his beer tastes like cowshit from a well in West Africa, and waters it down with pure American water like any Canadian beer drinker with a good head on his shoulders. After Groundhogs Day Massacre goes off, Doug makes some sandwiches, which I'm pretty sure contains nothing. The second his brother's back is turned, he sticks a moth in his, because "it'll be crunchy in his tummy". One of many practical jokes, seemingly meant to fuck with our heads. As Don goes to take a bite, he clutches his arm in pain. "OH, FUCK! I HATE MOSQUITO BITES!!!", he yells, seemingly in the form of a question. I didn't see, nor did I hear any mosquitoes. And even if I missed it, Don was wearing a long sleeve sweatshirt. So, I'm not sure what else to say about that.
All hell breaks loose as Doug's wife dies and gives birth to a bunch of things. The fellas don't seem quite as affected by this as they should be. Doug isn't exactly thrilled his wife is dead, but doesn't show the emotion one should in this situation. He tries to explain why this has happened, but Don randomly goes off about some story he recently read in a Science Fiction novel. I'm not sure what was weirder. Don's seemingly pointless story, or the fact that Doug actually waited for him to finish before calling him a damn bastard and a dick. Don says he's sorry. He meant well and was only trying to eeease the tension. Or so he says.
In all seriousness. If you see Things as JUST a bad movie, then, you're probably an asshole. Things is nothing short of a masterpiece of schlock. Truly a one of a kind experience. What amazes me is that somehow, the 90's and 2000's came and went without me even noticing this movie. I'll never understand why I hadn't heard of it until its most recent release. Oh, to be a B-movie loving teenager in the 90's, and to discover this shit! But I suppose I should be grateful to now own this movie and to have the option to watch it any time I want, with only a double digit number of viewings behind me. But I got to point out that this is one difficult film to consistently pay attention to. I'm not even sure why. Well, there's the fact that very little happens to further the almost non existent plot. Then, there's the intentionally bad dubbing, the Super-8 film which makes this look a bit older than it is, that "Talespin" song playing during that 15 minute scene where the guys are basically doing nothing. It's so easy to get lost in the weirdness, which varies from random to trippy to dreamy to nightmarish. All of this complimented by a score that makes everything seem far more surreal than I could ever put into words.
