Brawl in Cell Block 99 - Vince Vaughn is cool as hell

Yeah, he's a comedic actor, right? Well, he tried his hand at a serious role in True Detective season 2, and that was alright. He'll try his hand at the gritty crime genre again, and what do we get? Brawl in Cell Block 99!

Now, I'm not one for going into detail about the plots, because that takes away all the fun of the experience. Trying to figure out what's going on, and getting carried away with the ride? Well I tell you, this movie is one hell of a ride! Vince Vaughn carries the movie, and we also get a supporting role by Jennifer Carpenter from 'Dexter', Don Johnson as the evil maximum-security prison warden, Mark Blucas (anybody remember this guy? From Buffy?), and most importantly... Udo Kier, as a creepy old man. YES!

This is a crime movie. It's definitely a prison movie, and there's definitely a brawl in cell block 99. Holy hell, this movie satisfied my cravings for violence, and then some. Vince Vaughn had some surprisingly awesome fight scenes, and some of them are downright nasty. They'll throw in a few loud crunching sounds to emphasize the bones breaking, and that only makes me cringe more.

Oh man... what a movie. Highly recommended.

Twilight Zone, and the Simpson's Halloween Specials

Starting in season 2, The Simpsons began airing a Halloween anthology episode every year, and as I've been watching "The Twilight Zone" this month, it dawns on me how much these episodes were influenced by TZ. Many segments were directly based on certain episodes, like "Terror at 5 1/2 Feet" which is on an episode where the wraparound is like Night Gallery, with Bart hosting the anthology at a gallery with a lot of paintings.

The first special had an alien-themed segment with a direct rip on "To Serve Man", which was a wonderful TZ episode about aliens who treat humans with luxury, but they have an ulterior motive. The gag is still pretty funny.

Perhaps the most blatant segment is the one where Bart can think anything into happening. Just like the episode of TZ, and there's even a narrator doing his best Rod Serling impression. Jack-in-the-box included.

There's another episode where Lisa creates the small society. "Clown without Pity" is another one, about a doll who tries to kill its owner. The Simpsons had a lot of great episodes back in the day, and they were inspired by a lot of these cool classic tv episodes.

What got me thinking about the influence of these TZ episodes was one that seemed very blatant when I watched it earlier today. It's an episode called "Little Girl Lost", in which a girl is lost in another dimension, within her house. This one is also parodied by Simpson's in the episode "Homer3", where he goes into the wall and into another dimension, where he's 3D. Come to think of it, this episode is a lot like another movie we all know, called "Poultergeist", don't you think?


There are probably a bunch more out there, too. The Simpson's never tried to hide their blatant parodies of these, and their Halloween specials had a lot of other great episodes that were parodies of other horror media. Segments based on things like The Raven, The Shining, Bram Stoker's Dracula '92/Salem's Lot, The Monkey's Paw, Nightmare on Elm Street, and plenty more. There are a bunch of shitty Halloween specials they released that I've never seen, so I've got some catching up to do. I'm sure there will be more Twilight Zone references, too.

Rhoda: Portrait Of A Spoiled Little Bitch



50's Horror was really something, huh? Or not. I don't know. I've always liked it, myself. I mean, this era was sort of a resurrection after seemingly nothing coming out of the genre for the last half of the 40's and possibly even a little longer. It's almost like we were eased back in with the rise of Sci-fi, which slowly incorporated Horror into their stories. Giant animals, space monsters, etc. Personally, I love that stuff as much as the traditional Horror of decades past. As the 50's progressed, American Horror would finally be fully restored, with the release of timeless classics such as House On Haunted Hill, which probably wouldn't even be remembered today without the legendary Vicent Price. Then there's The Bad Seed, which may or may not be remembered if not for an amazing little actress named Patty McCormick. Yeah. I love this movie. Like countless others, I've loved this movie since I was a kid. Let's see if we can figure out what's so great about The Bad Seed.

No child is perfect. Some are closer than others, but none of them quite make it mainly because no human is capable of such status. Rhoda Penmark, on the other hand, does a superb job of creating the illusion of perfection, at least as far as well-behaved, polite, and all around pleasant eight year old girls go. OK, so, Rhoda can't possibly be perfect, but let's just say she's a great kid. A great kid who really has no reason not to be since she literally gets everything she wants and more. And as long as Rhoda gets everything she wants, everything is cool. Nevermind perfection, but she at least seems very normal, that is if you don't look too close. Rhoda doesn't seem to even notice that fact that she doesn't have any friends. As long as she is showered with love and attention by the adults in her life, everything is cool.

Rhoda really had her heart set on that penmanship medal and she's been a little off since the teacher gave it to some other kid. There's no way he was better than Rhoda because he was quite simply not Rhoda. I say "was" because the smart little fella turned up dead, recently, during the school picnic. When Rhoda's mother, Christine, tries comforting her, she notices something about her daughter that she's never noticed before: Rhoda doesn't give a fuck. Her classmate being dead means nothing to her. As we get to know her better, we realize Rhoda has no conscience.

Yes. Rhoda has no understanding of right and wrong. Only how to pretend to. We witness her mask of sanity being slowly lifted when the handyman starts picking at her. Despite being sort of a low class degenerate, Leroy is the only person who sees through Rhoda at all. And even he's only half joking when making accusations. If Leroy knows what's good for himself, he'll let this thing go and get back to work, because Rhoda is close to snapping, because her mother, who loves her more than anything in the world, has discovered the horrible truth. Rhoda murdered that little boy when he refused to give up his medal to her. She's not sorry, either. What is there to be sorry about, anyway? Rhoda is happy because she now has her medal. What else could there possibly be to consider?

Christine is devastated beyond words once she realizes that she has given birth to a monster. And one that is already a professional ass kisser on top of it. The guilt and reality sets in when she has a couple run-ins with the drunken mother of the murdered child. Meanwhile, Christine has some serious thinking to do, but ultimately decides to cover up what has happened. After much soul searching and a long overdue discussion with her father, Christine makes a horrifying discovery about herself which may shed some light on why her daughter is the way she is.

Some films leave a bigger impression than others. Some films, you'll just never forget. But what I think is so impressive and memorable about it is the many emotions it can potentially make one feel, none of which get in each other's way. To me, The Bad Seed is a graceful combination of sad, scary, funny, fascinating and powerful. There's so much going on besides the Horror of it all that it's hard to always see it as such, but The Bad Seed is Horror, possibly more so than anything from this decade. Before Michael Rooker's Henry, before Joe Spinnell's Maniac, there was a soulless 8 year old girl, more than willing to destroy life if it meant her day could be improved even a little. An evil existence sugar-coated by 50's innocence. I have no doubt this movie would have turned out good had they gone with some other child actor to play the role of Rhoda, but it was Patty McCormick who gave her the black heart required to become a Horror legend. 10/10



#Review

Longest movie you've ever seen?

The first movie I saw in 2017 was Lav Diaz's Melancholia. Seven and a half goddamn hours long. I watched it in three sittings.

Edit - 2018, not 2017. 😄 Already halfway through January!

2018 Black & White Challenge



I figure I'd go ahead and do this in January, this year. Maybe we'll do something for animation in April. I was going to do a reversal of the point system and have the latter movies be worth the most points, but I've decided to give the runtime system a shot which removes the minimum runtime rule. So, anything that's black and white counts. Any genre of movie, sitcoms, serials, shorts. As long as it's black and white. Tinted movies count. This challenge begins January 1st at midnight. I'll put up the progress thread tomorrow. Any questions or comments?

Friday the 13th Part 3 Documentary



This came out a few days ago, and it's worth a watch for any F13 fans. Personally, I think part 3 is the best, so I'm all for more info about the film. Still pretty fuckin' weird that Steve Miner never wants to be involved in these docs, when he made 2 of the best ones in the series. He's probably a real dickhole.

This doc covers the 3D aspect of the movie, as well as how great of a man the late Richard Booker was, and the tragic fate of the cabin used in the film. After all that, they give you a short fan film where Jason kills a few people in the woods. The acting is pretty shitty. Someone needs to tell people to go limp when their bodies are dead, and NOT stiff. Like this one dude at the end is impaled, and his body is at a bit of an angle, but this "dead man" keeps his arms to his side when they'd naturally just fall back.

I saw something stupid like this in another movie ( https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1866251/ ), where some unconscious broad was being dragged, but she kept her arms stiff by her side the entire time. It looked fucking pathetic, so I took the disc out, broke it, and threw it in the garbage, because that's what it was. Garbage.

The "Did You Know?" thread

Here's where we post little nuggets of information which may or may not be widely known. I'll start first, as I just came across this:

Ice cream truck girl in Assault on Precinct 13 and Lindsay in Halloween are sisters in real life. They have a famous niece you may have heard of....Paris Hilton.

Strange Addiction to being furniture

My sister showed me this the other day, and I thought it was hilarious. Pure trash television here.

Your thoughts on these movies?

These are a list of horror movies on my watchlist that I plan on watching before the new year. Anyone seen any of these? I appreciate your feedback, please.

Frankenstein: The True Story (1973 TV Movie)
The House Where Evil Dwells (1982)
The Survivor (1981)
The Reincarnate (1971)
The Enchanted (1984)
Killer! (1989)
The Kindred (1987)
Invitation to Hell (1984 TV Movie)
Out of the Body (1989)
The Ogre A.K.A La casa dell'orco
Night Wars (1988)
Alison's Birthday (1981)
Psychic Killer (1975)
Night Angel (1990)
Abby (1974)
The Boneyard (1991)
Daughter of Darkness (1990 TV Movie)
Tattoo (1981)
Children of the Night (1991)
Flavia the Heretic (1974)
Ombre roventi (1970)
The Return of the Zombis (1973)
The Etruscan Kills Again (1972)
Tower of Evil (1972)
The Nature of Nicholas (2002)
The Reincarnation of Peter Proud (1975)
The Bride (1985)
Witchcraft (1964)
The Believers (1987)
Equinox (1970)
Cemetery of Terror (1985)
To Sleep with a Vampire (1993)
The Vineyard (1989)
Evil Stalks This House (1981 TV Movie)
Carne de tu carne (1983)
Blueblood (1974)

Anyone ever used Criticker?

Anyone ever used Criticker? The movie recommendations site.

I signed up to it a week ago or so. It is all scientific. It can be fairly complicated to understand how it all works at first, with all the tiers, quips, Taste Compatibility Index (You can compare your tastes to that of others), probable score indicators, FICs... but the recommendations are very accurate to your taste, and they also give a probable rating of a movie before you see it, on whether you will like it or not, and from my experience it is always nearly accurate. You can also import all your ratings from IMDb - which is a great help.

I wouldn't delete my other accounts for it, or anything, but it is good for what it is - a solid and reliable recommendations site.

Anyone ever used it?