What movies did you watch or buy this week? (9/17)

Sure was a fast week.

My copy of Fox with a Velvet Tail came in the other day, so might just watch that tonight. Today at a flea market I picked up Black Rock, The Bye Bye Man and Hiss.

I'm part black!

So, recently my parents did that Ancestry.com thing, and got the results, earlier. After decades of being told I'm 1/4 Cherokee, I find out I'm not Native American at all. Possibly a fraction of a percent, if anything. However, it's come to my knowledge that I'm 1% African. Also around half English, too, which was also surprising. If I'm not Cherokee, then, why the fuck do I look like this?

Anyone else ever send Ancestry.com their spit? Anyone ever get any similar surprises?

TE SF/F Challenge - Part Deux Judgement Day

When dancing... lost in techno space trance. Arms flailing, gawky gravity only brings you down. Then find you snagged on frowns, and so slowly dawns of time... you're jazzing to the bleep tone of a life support machine, that marks the steady fading of the star you call Sun. And when midget midnight sirens lead to blue-flash road-mash. Stretchers, covered heads, and slippy red macadam, and find you creeping 'neath the blankets, to snuggle close a mangle bird, hoping soon you too will be freezer drawered. Then welcome... mmm... ooh, chemotherapy wig, welcome, to the Trash Epics SciFi Fantasy challenge...

Consistency is the name of the game in week 2•, with most players clocking up a similar score as last time and nobody moves up or down more than a place. Giftastic Onyx is still light years ahead of everyone, she will take some catching as time slips, turns, slides, warps n runs out. The equally giftacular Troma tightens his grip on second place, but has pressure from Ballz (hee) who is ploughing (hee) his way through some classic TV and foz making good use of his free Netflix trial to challenge for a podium, or at least hold off beatnik. There's a bit of a gap developing to the midfield, and even more further down as inevitably interest begins to wane.


current rank (last week's rank) week1/week2 = total

1.(1) Onyx - 4058 / 2664 = 6722
2.(2) Troma - 2220 / 1870 = 4090
3.(3) Ballz - 1791 / 1801 = 3592
4.(5) foz - 1338 / 1807 = 3145
5.(4) beatnik - 1722 / 1244 = 2966
6.(6) Box - 1282 / 1078 = 2360
https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/dragons/images/8/81/Tiamat_%28Dungeons_%26_Dragons%29_%28main%29.png/revision/latest?cb=20100407181150
7.(8). Baphomet - 772 / 1296 = 2068
8.(7). Johan - 852 / 702 = 1554
9.(10). peeps - 675 / 650 = 1325
10.(9) india - 682 / 0 = 682
11.(11) Blood - 496 / 182 = 678
12.(12) zed -357 / 0 = 357
13.(13) Gym - 170 / 0 = 170

Numbers
0 - total (updated) views since last week for Gym, india & zed
1 - Rogue
2 - men enter, one man leaves
3 - people who watched 'What Happened to Monday' last Wednesday
IV - Phases
5 - Slaughterhouses
6 - amount of 'Oz' related viewings for Johan
7 - Blake
lots - number of cunts the Hound has yarped
12 - days of Christine
Number 13
41 - the 41st film Troma watched
42 - the meaning of life, the universe and everything
60 - episodes of Twilight Zone seen so far
69 - dude
83 - number of sequels, prequels and remakes viewed••
131 - years between the oldest n youngest films
1984 - Big Brother
2001 - A Space Odyssey
4 million - the year the sun turns human skin vermillion

•unlike earth weeks TESFF weeks are not restricted to a seven day cycle
••almost certainly innaccurate

TE SF/F Challenge - Phase I


There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the TrashEpics SciFi/Fantasy Challenge...


Blasting off with an opening day just shy of 10 hours, Onyx flew into the lead and hasn't looked back since. A solid combo of classic movies and TZ eps sees her top of the dark tower at this early stage. The chasing pack is led by TV addicts Troma (Dark Shadows) & Ballz (Twilight Zone). beatnik's turning Japanese (at least I think so) to help him lie just shy of third.

Less than 1000 points seperate the mid table mediocrity, from foz in fifth down to zed in 12th. Gym started his challenge before anyone, having clocked up 2 movies first thing on the 1st Sept. Sadly for him it also appears to be the end of the challenge. Special mitigations for special peoples sees Smerd handed a hefty one point bonus by the authorities as an incentive to join in late.


Longest movie - LOTR The Return of the King 201min (Onyx)
Shortest- numerous 1 min shorts (Johan)
Trending Popular - Twilight Zone, Dune, The Dark Crystal, Rick & Morty, Fire and Ice, Godzilla & Alien franchises.


1. Onyx - 4058
2. Troma - 2220
3. Ballz - 1791
4. beatnik - 1722
5. foz - 1338
6. Box - 1282
7. Johan - 852
8. Baphomet - 772
9. india - 682
10. peeps - 675
11. Blood - 496
12. zed -357
13. Gym - 170
14. Smerd - 1

Don't worry if you've seen more but not updated your progress post, they'll just get added to the next challenge update. Which I'm gonna try to make more interesting, meant to do this yesterday but ended up drinking all night so now i'm hungover and lack inspiration.

Bat Pussy (1973)



I've never been a big fan of the porno genre, myself. But I think I'm a little less of a fan after watching what I just watched. Although, calling this mess a porno would be a bit of a stretch. What this really is is the pinnacle of unintentional WTF filmmaking. The ultimate abomination from the bottom of the barrel. A film so terrible, only the most hardered of bad movies lovers could withstand it. an unintentional practical joke on anyone looking for some decent fapping material. And some might even call it boring. This is the one and only, Bat Pussy!

Bat Pussy begins seemingly in the middle of the movie, during an arguement between an ugly, and most likely drunk middle aged married couple. It's not entirely clear what they were babbling about due to sound issues and mumbling. But out of the blue, they take it to the bed and the ugly wife starts sucking the ugly husband's ugly, limp dick, which will remain limp for the entire duration of the film. Is he impotent? Was he THAT turned off by his 50 year old co-star ? Has he had too much to drink? Nobody knows. That's what I love about these types of movies. Nobody knows. But this is sort of a porno, so, he plays along and pretends to be hard, repeatedly uttering the phrase "Oh, God! That's what the picture in the magazine was!". I'm not entirely sure what he meant by that, but I'm pretty sure a crew member just burped.

Then after raising up and asking the director "what?" he quickly starts berating the wife for her lack of dick sucking skills. Only to push her away and bury his face in her crotch to "suck her pussy" (his words). Her response to this is "You motherfuckin' bastard! You don't know how to do nothin". Which is totally believeable since the man is starring in a porno (for the lack of a better word), and is still nowhere near erect.

These two go back and forth between berating eachother, kidding around and making sad attempts at getting each other off with their mouths, whilst spouting improvised horshsht like "Every time I ram my tongue up your pussy, it comes out your asshole! Now, what the fkn deal is that?". Meanwhile, a new character is added into the mix. Bat Pussy's super senses informs her about the shitty, old married couple trying to get it on, and she disapproves. "Nobody fucks around on Bat Pussy", she says, and she soon crashes their party, and almost immediately ends up in a head giving threesome, which I guess is suppoed to be the big payoff. so, we do get a dash of hotness near the end. Yet, that idiot's still as limp as ever. So, nobody ever actually gets fucked.

Despite not loving the genre, I've come cross alot of weird, terrible, disgusting pornos. This one is simply on another planet. In a class by itself. An unsexy as all hell trash anomaly that seemingly exists just to make you wonder why it does in fact exist. As well as why the people involved didn't just up and bail halfway through, and instead kept on going until this project was seen through. I must admit, I know very little about Bat Pussy, so, There's not really anything more I can say to make you understand what I've just seen.

Most of the badness and pointless WTFness comes from the insanely stupid dialogue blurted out by ugly, drunk trash with unfortunate genitalia, and what may or may not be attempts at humor. And it seems like they're trying to throw in a story here and there, but they never really commit. And I can't really blame them. After all, this IS a retarded porno with one limp dick, a bickering married couple, a jealous Bat Woman ripoff, no script, and no plan. And no redeeming qualities. Highly recommended! 2/10

And if you think I'm making all of this up, here's a few minutes of dialogue from this steaming puddle of jizz.



#Porn #Review

Hausu (1977)

Anyone enjoy this Japanese Abstract/Horror movie?

I think Fantasy is my favorite girl. I would also put it in Gorgeous, Kung Fu and The Professor too.

Fun stuff.

Posting Images and Video on Trash Epics

Howdy folks! It appears we have quite a few new members, so I thought I'd offer a quick tutorial on how to directly post images and youtube vids.

Most of you will be used to the usual [ img][/img] style of adding images. But Trash Epics is a little different. Here we use [ img=] and you put your image file between the '=' and the the closing ']'.

For example, if you type [ img]http://h6img.com/p/3/the-cock-sock.jpg[/img], notice that nothing appears. But if you use the same link with the [ img=] instruction I mentioned above, then this will show up -



Simple, right? But just in case you're still confused, I'll go over it again...

You have to use [ img=]. If, for example, you type [ img]http://i.imgur.com/rXBr4t3.jpg[/img], then you're wasting your time. Instead, use (img=http://i.imgur.com/rXBr4t3.jpg), but with square brackets and your piccie will be viewable. Like this -



You don't have to do anything different for gifs. Same dealio. Remember, posting [ img]http://i.imgur.com/3AgAynm.gif[/img] will just make you look like a massive retard. So don't do that. Use the [ img=] markup and voila! -



Now onto youtube videos. Under the media option on the posting menu there's an option for Youtube. Click that baby and this will appear - [ youtube=]. Now here's the tricky bit. DON'T put the entire url, you stupid cunt, because nothing will happen. Observe - [ youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgnbHHcDFss]. Only post the vid ID, in this case the bolded segment shown here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgnbHHcDFss. And your youtube video will appear for all to enjoy -



Let's try that again. For this video here - https ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsYH_FYSx5E - I simply copy the symbols after the '=' sign and place them in the [ youtube=] markup. And we get this -



So that's that! I hope you all found this highly educational. Now get to posting some pics and vids!

Ed Wood (1994)

What a great movie.

Anyone else just really feel this movie on a personal level?

Kuso (2017)

When this movie was screened at Sundance, it supposedly caused people to walk out in droves, many calling it the grossest movie ever made. So, of course, I had to see it. I'm sure most normal people would be disgusted, but I would bet most of the people on this board could handle it.

There are some interesting things going on, but there's barely a plot to speak of. It's basically a random collection of WTF scenes, filled with gratuitous amounts of bodily fluids and general weirdness. It all has a very nightmarish dream quality to it, everyone is covered in nasty lesions, and they seem to have no aversion to being covered in shit and/or cum. A recent earthquake is apparently the cause of the bizarre world people are living in, but it's never explained how or why. My only guess is it must have opened up an alternate dimension.

It's not a great movie by any means, but it is worth a watch for the curious.

Stephen King stuff I haven't seen yet

@der is forcing me to watch The Green Mile now, saying it's an essential viewing. Got me thinking of which King movies/shows I haven't seen. Are any of these good for the sci-fi/fantasy challenge, or the October challenge? What are your thoughts on these?

Apt Pupil
Bag of Bones
Dolores Claiborne
Firestarter
Golden Years
Hearts in Atlantis
Kingdom Hospital
The Langoliers
The Mangler
Mr. Mercedes
Nightmares and Dreamscapes
Rose Red
The Stand
Storm of the Century
Trucks