LSD: Dream Emulator (1998)

The title says it all about this game. LSD: Dream Emulator is based on a real dream journal that had been written over the course of a decade and it feels like a drug trip when you're playing. Though apparently the 'LSD' part actually stands for 'Lovely Sweet Dream', the title of the journal.

It should be no surprise either that it was only released in Japan for PlayStation. Not to say other regions never get weird games, but back then especially, I think there was no real market for it elsewhere. Certainly not one viewed as profitable by the publisher. It seems that whoever owns the rights to the game now might still feel that way because while the game's available on the digital PlayStation Store, it's again only for Japan. A shame since the game's mostly English-friendly.

The game has 14 distinct areas that you can visit within the dreams, such as Violence District (a city at nighttime where you might find things like a woman hanging from a light pole) and Happy Town (what I believe is supposed to be a trippy-colored carnival).

You can travel to these areas either by tunnel or for a more random experience, simply bumping into walls and objects. If you press against a wall or object for more than a second, you'll be taken to a new area. This can be annoying if you're trying to explore an area and you accidentally bump into something. The controls don't make it easy to look around to make sure you aren't going to unintentionally hit anything. I guess that's the nature of dreams: a lack of control.

You never know what you'll find in an area. In the 30 minutes or so that I played to gather these screenshots, I encountered a head with arms and legs, a giant fish in the sky, statues sliding down a street on their own, a pissed off peacock, the gray man (the antagonist of the game who causes you to 'forget' memories of past dreams, related to a flashback mode where you can revisit dreams), and the previously mentioned hanging woman.

It's impossible to predict what you might encounter where as they generate randomly and there's far more to see than those. That's where most of my enjoyment playing the game comes from, just looking for weird shit I haven't seen before. It's almost like playing out a David Lynch or Alejandro Jodorowsky movie.

The dreams usually end when you die (such as falling into a bottomless pit) or after a random amount of time. One time it might last only about two or three minutes. The next time, closer to 10. However, sometimes you'll start a new dream and only receive text in Japanese or a short video. I'm not sure what the ultimate goal of the game is and I'm not sure anyone else knows either. After you play through a year's worth of days, you apparently see an ending video and the game starts over.

You view a chart after each dream with four areas labeled 'upper', 'downer', 'static', and 'dynamic'. While it's obvious that it's marking what kind of dream you had, no one seems to have a clear grasp on what most interactions in the game actually affect the chart, only speculation. Sometimes, the textures in the game will change, but that's another area of the game with a lot of unknown factors.

That's about it when it comes to the game itself. As I said, it's based on a dream journal, which was turned into an actual book and can be downloaded from the game's wiki https://dreamemulator.wikia.com/wiki/The_Dream_Journal . Each entry is in both Japanese and English. I read through some of it and a few entries definitely reminded me of moments within the game.

There was also music released with the game. I know even less about that besides that it's not music actually heard in the game. It's not a good game in the conventional sense, but as a 'dream emulator', there will probably never be another game quite like it. I can think of a couple other surreal games. However, none feature the variety and mystery that LSD: Dream Emulator is capable of offering.

While the game was only ever released in Japan and is around $300 on Ebay, it's pretty easy to find a rom for it. I tried to run it on a PlayStation emulator called ePSXe. That fucker refuses to run though, both the current version and older versions. A lot of people like the emulator, so maybe it's just my computer being a piece of shit. Fortunately, I found a torrent containing the game with another emulator already set up to run it. It functioned enough to do what I needed to do.

If you don't want to bother with emulators, there's also a fan remake https://www.lsdrevamped.net/ in the works. I played it and while the layout of the areas is accurate, it's incredibly lacking when it comes to random encounters. In what must have been an hour, I only encountered the gray man once and nothing else. In all fairness, the remake's only in alpha and the guy working on it talks about it frequently on his blog, as recently as earlier this month. Hopefully the finished product has a lot more to it.

The Witch (2015)

So, I'm watching The Witch for the second time. I kept hearing about how good this movie is, but I just can't really like it. I hate the ending, but what's worse is I can't understand a damn thing the father says ( I keep waiting for him to say I'm Batman with that shit awful voice of his.), and the mother is an annoying cunt. Black Phillip is pretty cool though.😄

Shot-On-Shiteo: The 90's



Recently, I was rearranging my DVD/Blu-ray shelves, and decided that I had so many shot-on-video Horror movies, that maybe two shelves are in order. Classic 80's SOV and post-80's SOV. And after admiring both shelves, I was surprised to notice how many of these I own that are from the 90's. Believe it or not, there was once a market for these types of movies, which peaked around '83 to '88. For several reasons, the popularity these things once had, no longer existed once the 90's rolled around. Whatever money there was to be made, had already been made. But not everyone gave up on their dreams. The Todd Sheets' and Tim Ritters of the world. Guys like Andreas Schnaas, who kept up the tradition, long after it was out of style and not so worth the trouble, making movies just to make movies. Today, we're going to talk about the most unusual and unknown breed of B-movie, and all it's demented splendor. I've picked three films which I feel best represent this decade. Three films, each representing three elements which gives 90's SOVs the infamous reputation they've earned. The surreal, the ambitious, and the obscure.

The Surreal: The first film I'd like to talk about is actually the third part in a trilogy. "The Gore Trilogy", they call it. Or they would if they existed. Shot in Memphis, Tennessee, Gore Whore came to be in 1994, and was directed by Hugh Gallagher, who was responsible for 1990's Gorgasm and 1993's Gorotica. All three being some pretty cool little flicks, mixing gore and sex, with a dash of Crime Thriller. But Gore Whore seems to be the most memorable of the three. Partly because of the sweet title, I'd imagine. And well, I think anyone who has had the pleasure, would agree that this is a damned weird one.

A surprisingly solid story for something so bottom-of-the-barrel. Gore Whore also has something that no other 90's SOV has. A genuine poor man's Keanu Reeves. Brady Debussey plays Chase Barr, a small-time private investigator, hired by a Scientist to track down his lab assistant, who took off with a certain formula, along with it's documentation. It's revealed that this substance is used to restore life. A substance Dr. Whitman used on his lab assistant after he picked up her body from the morgue. A dead prostitute with no family or friends, hence nobody to pay for a funeral. Dawn Day was her name. Dawn lived a miserable life, and was willing to be this guy's sex slave for only so long, before taking off and living her death the only way a pissed off, undead hooker should: By biting off dicks and drinking blood. The blood being the other thing that keeps her going.

Chase has his work cut out for him with this bitch. Dawn keeps him busy and out of her hair by reanimating random corpses to put in his way, while she takes adavntage of unsuspecting "customers" expecting to get blown. Dawn needs the blood, but takes very much pleasure in destroying the same type of person who once slowly destroyed her. I've got to say that as unappealing as this actress was, she really was the perfect actress for this role. This chick, Audrey Street, who was never seen again after this movie, has a very brooding, grumpy-looking face. Saying she looks like Mr. Bean might be an exaggeration, but she could totally be his niece. So, yeah. This is exactly what an undead $10 whore should look like. The caved in chest, however. Who the fuck knows? I do know that I enjoyed this one. For all of it's lighting and sound issues, and considering how long it took me to get a VHS copy of this, Gore Whore actually turned out to not be a dissappointment, as it's just too unusual and dream-like to not enjoy. The last, and in my opinion, best chapter in what was once the most obscure trilogy in cinema history. But no longer, with the recent release of all three on DVD and Blu-ray. I can't really say I'm a fan of Keanus of any class, or titties that point inward, but I am a fan of this movie. Gore Whore does it for me. 4/10

The Ambitious: Oh, this one's my favorite! At some point, 80's SOV legends, Jon McBride and the Polonia twins, joined forces. Now, I haven't seen much from the Polonias, pre-Feeders. Splatter Farm would be about it. Possibly the most low-budget-looking movie I've ever seen, but not without it's charm and entertainment value. Jon McBride, however. He was only responsible for two movies before hooking up with the little gippers. Cannibal Campout and Woodchipper Massacre. Two of the best all around SOVs from any era. And in 1996, these three legends put their heads together in Mansfield, Pennsylvania, to give us what is no doubt the most ambitious shot-on-video Alien epic of the mid-90's. This is Feeders.

Derek and Bennett, played by McBride and a Polonia twin, are on a cross country road trip to the beach. Derek and Bennett kill some time, sight seeing, and later, Bennett gets them hooked up with a couple females, which appears to horrify Derek, as he recollects last time this happened. Something about one of them having a dick, or something. I don't know. It seems like he's making excuses. Bennett seens to agree, and half jokingly makes mention of Derek's virginity. Funny. I would have had the Polonia pegged as the virgin of the two, but maybe that's just me. As Derek and Bennett take time out from their road trip, they're distracted and Bennett accidentally hits a guy with the car. A guy who, just minutes earlier, got attacked by what very well may be the dumbest looking Alien in movie history. Derek and Bennett take the injured stranger to the hospital where he is pronounced dead. Although, you can clearly see him breathing as this happens. One minute, their biggest issue is a temporarily derailed road trip, and the next, something much more serious. Aliens are here, and they're going to kill and eat us all!

I detect a tone possibly intented to lure in some X-Files fans. I'm guessing this tactic probably didn't work. But I, personally, appreciate Feeders for what it is. Old fashion, micro-budget Sci-fi with nothing but talent and heart behind it. One thing I like about these Polonia films, as well as McBride's stuff, is that they all seem like a swell bunch of guys, who just love making movies, and actually seem to know what they're doing, despite the already mentioned flaws. Anyone who has a soft spot for this one, you may also fancy 1998's Feeders 2. Especially if you love Christmas movies. This mind fuck of a sequel doesn't have anything at all to do with the original, and even has the same actors playing different roles. However, this sequel includes certain scenes which imply that there is a connection, while never following up. Very peculiar. But never mind that one right now. Despite it's reputation, and lack of audience, I feel that Feeders is something special, and by far the best thing I've seen from the Polonias. Maybe that's not saying much, and maybe Feeders isn't much, when it's all said and done, but nobody can say this isn't one hell of an ambitious project. 6/10

The Obscure: Last, and certainly the least in every way, here's one very few of us have come across, or even heard of. Back in the early 2000's, when my movie renting days were winding down, I was recommended a movie by a friend who claimed they had come across some kickass Horror movie. So, I took a trip to that particular video stores and rented a movie called Animals. A movie with a cover which I would later discover to be unrelated in any way. Nothing new, there, but then, I watched the movie, which turned out to be a problem. Partly because this is long before I had warmed up to the SOV. And also, it turned out to be a massive pile of shit. I was not ammused, and called my friend out on their bad taste next time I saw them. And you know what my friend said? "Naw, dude. All I said was that it had a cool cover". The hell you did! Friends don't let friends watch Animals!

I wouldn't call this a full-blown Last House On The Left ripoff, but it feels like one, at times. We begin with a news bulletin, informing us of the prison break of a bloodthirsty gang of psychopaths, who are on their way down to Kissimmee, Florida, where an unsuspecting family is currently headed for a vacation in the woods. Hey, get this shit! While Gore Whore may have it's very own poor man's Keanu, Animals has something even better. Which is all it really has, to be honest. Animals stars the one and only, Linnea Quigley. But how? How is SHE in THIS? I'm going to assume the director is her cousin, or something. Nobody's career goes that far downhill. Anyway, back to the story. Here we have Dana, her new husband and their teenage (?) daughters. One of which seems to be portrayed as smokin' hot, but has a face that only a step-mother could love. The daughters bicker, the uncle shows up to be lame for a while, and Linnea gets it good from the husband, later on. So, the gang known as "the Animals" crash the party. One of them looks like a giant Terry Funk. He rapes Linnea, possibly in the ass, going by the volume of her screams. The rest of the gang consists of the leader, M.F. his son, "Boy", whom he definitely rapes in the ass, as well as his girlfriend, D.D. who enjoys blowing Jumbo-Funk every chance she gets. These people have nothing to lose, and have no intention of letting anyone live. It's up to the bickering daughters to save what's left of this day, and their lives.

So, it's not quite the worst of it's kind, and I can't say I hate it quite as much as I did when I first rented it so many years ago, but after finally tracking down a copy on Amazon, and giving it a second look, it's no wonder why it quickly fell into the black hole of obscurity that it did. The hefty price tag I've seen on this thing, however, is a bit of a head scratcher. But I guess that's how we know it's really, really obscure. And then, there's Linnea Quigley, speaking of head scratchers. I do hope a DVD of this sees the light of day, at some point, if only for some potential audio commentary, which would have to offer an explanation as to how such a high profile B-movie actress ended up in this Z-grade pile of nothing. Linnea's presence was certainly the highlight of it all, but aside from her, this movie isn't a complete waste of time. At least not for seasoned bad movie lovers and collectors of lost, forgotten, and unheard of films. And ultimately, that is what Animals has going for it. Maybe it's not exactly a hidden gem, but it's a hidden something. That's for sure. 3/10

What is it about these movies? Even the good ones from the 80's, I mean. The sound and picture is guaranteed to always be shit. And the ones that are technically superior, are usually the boring ones, for some reason. For anyone who had parents who always had to break out the video camera for special occasions, it may be hard to take these seriously as legit movies. Even the 80's ones. But if one can get past certain little things, then, one might be able to appreciate the magic of it all. A magic that captured a reality it was never meant to capture. So, that's it for now. But I think I made my point. Although. There are plenty others deserving, and maybe even more deserving, than these three. But I think these unusual entries I've described sums up the decade quite nicely. And despite some things I've said, I would recommend all of them for one reason or another. I have a bit of a fascination for the video-shot Horrors of all decades, even the 2000's, to an extent. But remember. The only type of movie worse than an SOV is a 90's SOV. And the only type of movie more rare than rare, is 90's SOV rare. And if nothing else, those facts will always be historically significant to cinema. This is the true bottom of the barrel, I speak of. But to some of us, this is the top of the mountain.

The Official 2017 IMDb Horror Draft Sign-Up Thread

I've got this great idea and it makes total sense right. Plumbers and electricians are ripping us all off when you think about it by pretending that we need to have two completely separate systems in our houses for delivering water and leccy. If you stop for a moment, there's no reason why hot and cold water pipes couldn't double up as the mains supply. Live in the hot pipe, neutral in the cold. Waste pipes could then be connected to the earth. Electric sockets could then be soldered onto central heating pipes on radiators, with no ugly wiring to conceal.

This system would be perfectly safe, providing you always wore rubber gloves and rubber boots when turning on taps and light switches and that. I know that this radical combining of water and electricity would be controversial and would put millions of sparkeys out of work but fuck them, they've been conning us for years, the thieving cunts.
Ninety fucking quid to rewire a socket? Fuck that. Fucking rob dogs.

Be nice to get the three previous winners back: thingy, thingy and thingy but I imagine after winning they're all living the high life these days and have no further interest in defending their previous victories.

This is just where you sign up. Go on, just blindly put your name forward. You won't have a fucking clue what's happening but then again, neither will I.

For all queries and questions ask some other cunt.

Yeah so anyway, this is where you sign up for the fourth annual IMDb horror draft so fucking do it... now...

It's Nothing Mommy, Just a Game (1974)

Anyone ever heard of this or seen it? David Hemmings is in it, and it was supposedly right before he was in Deep Red. It's apparently about a serial killer who kidnaps girls, tortures them, dresses them up as rabbits, then turns them loose in a forest and hunts them down.

It's not listed on IMDb.

Holy fucking Hell...

Twin Peaks... What a phenomenon! HalloweenLove posted a great, realistic article about this:
https://halloweenlove.com/twin-peaks-2017-first-impressions-and-advice-for-new-fans/

It's such a hard series to describe. Especially since it starts from a 90s show, then continues 25+ years later, right on track with the typical David Lynch weirdness! It's an absolute cult following on every level, but it's soooo fucking heartwarming! I guess a lot of it has to do with how great of a character Kyle MacLachlan's character of "Special Agent Dale Cooper" is! •thumbs up•

It's strange, but even as a fan, I've only know this series for a few years. Yet, the long gap and return of every popular character makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I suppose it's because the actor's dedication and love for their characters, but a lot of it is sentimental too. Also, consider how we have good old Miguel Ferrer, who unfortunately passed away this year... but we still get to see him as Albert Rosenfield in this good old testament to great 90s television! Not to mention the Log Lady, who also recently passed. 😟

Damn fine series!

American Gods TV series

Has anyone else here been watching this? I have been able to follow what is happening pretty well, overall. I am pretty sure I'm misunderstanding some things, but, whatever. It will all become clear... or not.

I had been a little surprised at how few cast members are actually American citizens... until this week's episode. This episode (A Murder of Gods) might be the reason American actors might have decided not to get involved with this show... it is so overtly politicized, I bet a lot of actors who have lived in the US for their entire life would say "Um, no thanks, I'd rather not lose half my friends for the rest of my life" if they read the script and realized what their role would involve. I personally tend to agree with what they say in this episode, but I don't think I would have made it so black and white. They are going to lose a LOT of viewers with this episode.

What else can I say about this show... well, I have been a bit stunned by Emily Browning. Holy crap. I don't think I have seen her in anything since that Lemony Snicket movie... no, since The Uninvited. If you have been watching American Gods, you'll know why I'm in shock after seeing her performance. Just that one scene where her undead character walks home, covered in blood, carrying her own severed arm, after having been killed in a car crash while giving her lover a blow job... Jesus fucking Christ, I was in shock. Maybe that's why she took the role, to avoid being typecast as an angelic innocent waif. I have no idea.

What else, what else...

--Mad Sweeney the 6'5" leprechaun is hilarious, because/although he is usually offensive as hell...

--also, I am a little confused about why Laura (the Emily Browning character) always sees Shadow as surrounded by a sort of nimbus or aura of flame. What the hell is up with that?

--Also also, flies seem to appear a lot. You know, flies, like in The Fly, but totally flies, not half-flies. They probably mean something, but I don't know what. Maybe something to do with Beelzebub, the Lord of Flies? I don't know.

--Gillian Anderson has been pretty mind-blowing, playing Lucy (from I Love Lucy), Ziggy Stardust, and Marilyn Monroe. I liked her Ziggy Stardust segment a LOT. The writers did a great job with that too, packing in tons of quotes from Bowie songs.

--Technical Boy, played by Bruce Langley, cracks me up. I actually said "good job dude" or something like that, to him on Twitter, and he said thanks. So, that was cool.

--also also also also also, they have a lot of significant-seeming shots of clouds. Not so much in this episode, but in other episodes. I wonder if it is supposed to mean something. Does anyone here know??

Anyone have any thoughts at all, on anything I said here, or anything else about the show?

Universal's "Dark Universe"

Yep, that's really what they're calling their new monster cinematic universe...ugh. Although I love a lot of the classic Universal Monster movies and think this new cinmatic universe is a good idea on paper, it feels really forced. Every studio seems to be jumping on the cinematic universe trend and it's unnecessary. It makes more sense for comic book based properties like Marvel and DC to be doing it, but Universal...I don't know. Sure they've done some monster crossover flicks in the past, but a shared universe is harder to pull off. In regards to how the "Dark Universe" is shaping up already, The Mummy looks rather blah and like just another Tom Cruise action flick. Why it's set in modern day too is beyond me as well.

What are your thoughts if any on this?

Horror Movies You Love to Watch During the Summer

Which horror movies do you love watch during the summer and why (if you got reasons that is)?

I can always pop in a Friday the 13th movie during the summer due to the fact that the series revolves around the cursed Camp Crystal Lake. What better horror series to get you in that summer mood?

On the subject of summer camp horror, the Sleepaway Camp series is also nice to revisit during the summer.

Of course there's Jaws too which is set during the 4th of July weekend! I don't mind revisiting Jaws II either, but the other two sequels I can easily skip.

The Hitcher (1986) is another one I love to watch during the summer because it has a road trip feel to it...a road trip to hell feel!

Double Down (2005)

posted the hilarious (fan made) trailer to this on Smerd's thread about shitty flicks you like, but since it fits the TE bill so nicely Neil Breen's masterpeice now has it's own page.

if ya unsure to invest in the whole movie - posted in the DOUBLE DOWN shoutbox where all the cool Breens hang - here's Rich Evans to dissect in a 5min nutshell. with Mike and Jay, but(t) Max Landis...