Monkey Business

I have nothing fresh to show, and not a lot of older stuff saved. Big thing for me is artistic blocks, I seldom start and even more rarely finish. In a mood lately to try to kickstart something. Few things in mind, we'll see.

Hell, how do I post images? Let's see if this works...

(edit, no, that wasn't it...)


https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dori5xISD3Q/VZzPZBdN6rI/AAAAAAAAATk/if0o43h6fyw/s1600/Scan20001.tif

There, that's better. I'm not a computer arts guy, it's rough.



Holy fuck! I'm getting the red warning! I feel so at home!!
Okay, try this...





Done in .3mm mechanical pencil on medium texture drawing paper, that's roughly half size? Close friend Jesseca from the Dario Argento BBS.



Ballpoint pen on typing paper, Carole Ann Ford from Doctor Who.


A friend from high school, Dana, .3mm pencil on drawing paper. Dana was an extra in at least 3 John Hoghes movies - this is from a screencap from toward the end of Pretty in Pink.



https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SXmf7X1RjqU/VZomOrH9-hI/AAAAAAAAARw/T3uVm_GfmSY/s1600/eleanor.JPG
unfinished, .3mm, very large. Doing hair is intimidating to me.

Chuck Berry

I can honestly say I don't know a single song of his besides the one Marty McFly gave him in Back to the Future, "Johnny B. Goode".

Still, I listen to a lot of classic rock from the 70s, and I know those guys where bigtime influenced by the blues and rock stuff from old timey (black) performers from before that. It's the end of yet another era, I suppose.

His last album was 38 years ago? 1979? And he's got a new one coming out this fall.

Made-for-TV Movies

It's kind of a genre in itself. Something not good enough to make it theatrical? Or is it all about low budgets? Or runtime? Some of these things run so long, they have to be cut up into 2, 3, or even more parts. I guess mini-series can count, if it's short enough.

Examples:
https://junkepics.com/film/?tags=tv+movie&sort=value

Any more?

What would you love to see in theaters?

This year, we're getting T2:3D! I'd love to see that in theaters.

In the past, I've been fortunate enough to see The Wizard of Oz 3D, The Shining, and Halloween '78 in theaters. I guess I'd always wanted to see Rocky Horror in theaters too, with the sing-a-long nonsense and whatnot...

Freddy Vs. Some Tall Fucker In A Hockey Mask



As an 80's kid who happens to be a lifelong Horror fan, I always loved those Friday The 13th and Elm Street movies, and had them all rented before I even reached my teen years. A decade or so later, after hearing rumors upon rumors of a Freddy Vs. Jason, such a movie was finally released when I was in my early 20's. At this point, I wasn't as into the genre as I once was. Barely at all, actually. But Come on! I had to see this. And you know what? I liked it. I thought it was a lot of fun. And I considered it to be worth the wait. But I should also point out that I was blind drunk when I watched this movie. As I was more often than not at that point in my life. So, there's that.

The 80's gave us more Horror characters than we knew what to do with. Some more memorable than others. But none more memorable (or profitable) than Robert Englund's Freddy Kreuger and the character of Jason Voorhees which was perfected by Kane Hodder, after years of being passed around like a cheap whore. The late 80's saw the height of these characters' popularity. And soon, rumors about a collaboration arose. One way or the other, Freddy Vs. Jason needed to happen. For the fans as well as the money hungry studio execs who know dick about Horror, but know enough to know it would be a goldmine. A goldmine in the late 80's, a goldmine in 2003. Doesn't matter. Freddy Vs. Jason is a fucking goldmine! At least in theory, it is.

As of this point, Jason is owned by Paramount and Freddy is owned by New Line. Oops! Never mind, I guess. Heaven forbid these assholes work together to give Horror fans the biggest Horror film of all time. But whatever. By the early 90's, the genre had lost a lot of steam, as well as Freddy and Jason, themselves. Although, I doubt there was ever a point people wouldn't have cared about this movie. But one day, something miraculous happened. New Line bought the rights to Jason. Game on! Let's do this! But first, let's remind everyone these guys exist by coming out with new installments of both franchises, except make them completely different, and in some cases, unrecognizable... Wait, what??

And so, Jason Goes to Hell https://trashepics.com/post/9/5/ happened. The less said about that one, the better. But at least the master Jason was in it. Good ol' Kane Hodder kept it from being completely worthless, even if he was only in a couple scenes. And the following year, the master of pretentious horror, himself, Wes Craven would return to the Franchise he created to... well, create a new Freddy. This time, he's Real, by God! Real-Freddy comes to life out of the script of the original movie, and kills old cast members. Wes, I'm sorry you're dead, ok? I really am, but fuck you!

And for years, nothing! For some time, I assumed there wasn't going to be any more movies from either franchise. Much less a Freddy Vs. Jason. And then in 2002, Jason X happened. Yeah, I know. Jason X is Jason X, and I'm not going to defend it, but this one really seemed like the end of the line for Jason. And regardless of what happens next, it still kind of is, even to this day. Not long after this, Freddy Vs. Jason is green lit. Looks like it'll be taking place before Jason X, which is weird, but still on board. However, many decisions are to be made before this movie can become reality. Remember what I said about those greedy studio execs? Believe it or not, they're still around 15 years later, and a new greedier generation has reared it's ugly head. Ok, I'm getting concerned.

And then, the first of many terrible decisions was made. Ronny Yu, director of Bride Of Chucky, has been signed on to direct. But hey! Just because he discarded all past Child's Play sequels, doesn't mean the same thing will happen, here. I mean, taking a fresh approach is great, but he's not THAT stupid, right?. I'm sure it'll be ok As long as this movie stars both Robert Englund and Kane Hodder.



Yeah, so, Hodder's out. Unbelievable! Supposedly not Ronny Yu's decision, but for whatever reason, the decision has been made to cast someone a little more similar to Part 2 Jason. But a much taller, less intimidating version. Actually, he's more or less going to be the good guy. And before I say anything else, I'll go ahead and go over the story real quick. Oh, but remember when I said Ronny Yu discarded the previous Child's Play Sequels? Well, same story, here. And you should probably know he never actually saw any of the Elm Street or Friday films, beforehand. A documented fact! But hey. Kane Hodder isn't even playing Jason, so, who really cares how bad this ends up being, anyway? It's all meaningless, now.

So, it's not entirely clear when this movie takes place. We'll say somewhere between Freddy's Dead/Jason Goes To Hell and Jason X. Since Freddy's been gone, parents of Springwood have taken steps to literally wipe out all memories of his nightmarish reign of terror. Even going so far as to get their kids on a new drug called Hypnocil, which prevents dreaming. No dreaming means no nightmares. And no nightmares means no fear. Freddy's not just dead. He's obsolete. And with the first example of lazy writing, Freddy turns into Jason's mom, gets in Jason's head and convinces him to wake up and start killing again. That's it! That's all it took for Jason to come back to life after the magic dagger finally sent him to Hell some years ago. Freddy's reasoning, you ask? So that when Jason starts killing people (in Springwood, of course), people will talk, people will get scared, and people will start remembering him... because of Jason, I guess.

Freddy's plan actually works. Problem is, Jason isn't killing to help Freddy. Jason's just killing. And I don't think Freddy wants everyone dead, as there would be nobody to torment. But as we all know, EVERYONE being dead is all Jason has ever wanted. As these bloodthirsty icons get in each other's way, tempers flare, things are said, feelings are hurt, and before we know it, Freddy and Jason set their sights on each other, leading to a showdown, while mildly entertaining, doesn't last quite as long as it should have. And to me, is quite a disappointment in the end.

Many scenarios and endings were discussed and rumored. All of which sounded better to me. But this is ultimately what we got. A story that takes almost no knowledge of either series to follow. A story that downgrades Jason from Terminator-Zombie to dim-witted victim, who is just a big, lumbering oaf, easily manipulated by Freddy, who is the real star. The only star, really, since Hodder got screwed over. And again, New Line is still Freddy's turf, so, what do you expect?

Some years passed between my first and second viewing of Freddy Vs. Jason. In those years, I managed to refresh my memory on these two legendary franchises, as well as ease up on the alcohol, which can be as good for the judgement as it is for the liver. And you know what? Not a fan. No, I don't like it at all. Wrong director, wrong Jason, no nods to any of the sequels, no Corey Feldman cameo, no cameos, period. Fifteen years to prepare and they gave us nothing! Nothing but a typical early 2000's slasher with what's her name from Destiny's Child. Seriously. Fuck her! And fuck that guy who's supposed to be Jason Mewes. So many routes they could have taken, so many cool ideas unused. Somehow, this potentially huge movie turned out to be the biggest missed opportunity in Horror history. I won't lie to you. I could have overlooked a lot if that one Elephant in the room of a casting mistake hadn't happened. but even that would only barely save it for me.

When I called this movie meaningless, maybe that was a bit harsh. I mean, we're so used to seeing Kane Hodder as Jason, and even if that wasn't as bad as it was, it was still a little late in the game to be making such drastic changes. But if I just choose to look at this as the finale to the original Elm Street franchise, which just happens to have Jason in it, then, it doesn't seem quite as bad. Of course, this is coming from a Jason guy, and someone who frankly can take or leave Freddy at this point. So, I'm just not overly concerned with what becomes of Freddy Kreuger. However, the Friday side of things just makes me sad. As dumb as Jason X was, I still prefer to think of that as the end of the Jason Voorhees saga, because in reality, it was, and there's nothing Freddy Vs. Jason can do about it. The real Jason is in another time, on another planet, doing his thing, far out of the reach of Ronny Yu. 3/10



#Review

Which actress would you cast in Lifeforce remake?

Gemma Arterton

Kolchak: The Night Stalker

So how are you guys for long-ass reviews? I've been doing TNS one episode a week and am almost halfway through the series.

---

(introduction)



I was eight years old when Kolchak: The Night Stalker aired in 1974. Because it was Friday, I had permission to stay up an hour past bedtime - it played right after My Partner, the Ghost (aka Randall & Hopkirk, Deceased). It scared me plenty, and I wouldn't miss an episode. Bits and pieces of it stayed with me all my life...scenes, scares, and even certain music cues which I never forgot a note of. Even today, a sudden familiar noise at two or three in the morning will harken back to this show and suddenly I'll be wide awake with my heart beating too fast.

It was a time when American culture was taken with the 'supernatural'...with mysticism and the occult, with ancient Egypt and its mummies and curses and 'pyramid power', with UFOs, with Kirlian photography and ghosts and ESP, with reincarnation, with Bigfoot and spontaneous combustion. We had a fascination for the morbid and dark, The uncaught Zodiac awakening the chill of Jack the Ripper. Leonard Nimoy visited our living rooms for half an hour every weekend to take us In Search Of...the lost town of Roanoke, the Nazca Lines, the ghost of Van Gogh, the death of Pompeii. People carried tattered paperbacks of "Chariots of the Gods" like it was the new Bible. We wanted to know...we were desperate to know, and to believe. We were ready. There had to be more out there, if anyone would just ask.

We wanted to know about power, too. America's unlikeliest heroes that year were a couple of investigative journalists who broke a story of corruption in the highest office, and the name Watergate became a dictionary fixture. After the murder of JFK, after Vietnam, and now the President himself deceiving us we had become disillusioned by authority and wanted more Woodwards and more Bernsteins, tenacious seekers of truth who would defy the Powers That Be, to root out just what it was we weren't being told.

Carl Kolchak was that kind of reporter.

He'd already appeared in a couple of hit made-for-television films, The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler. Kolchak had been a print reporter in Las Vegas when a serial killer terrorized that city in 1972. As the gruesome facts came to be revealed, Kolchak was forced to reach a difficult conclusion that no one else was willing to: the killer was not a madman who thought himself a vampire, but was indeed a genuine vampire. Kolchak was a rational man, unimaginative and not given to fancies, bull-headed to the point of rudeness...but he understood facts. The facts were undeniable.

The movies worked for a number of reasons, but foremost among them was veteran character actor Darren McGavin as Kolchak, a newsman as exuberant as he was tactless. He is described in The Night Strangler as having walked straight out of a production of The Front Page, with his vented porkpie hat and simple blue-collar attire. That's him, boy, he'd have been at home in Hollywood's Thirties with his flippant jibes and irrepressible belief in his calling, his steadfast conviction in the people's right to know the truth. Carl Kolchak flows from McGavin like water from a spring. He's not a collection of mannerisms, he's a force of nature. If The Night Stalker had been a stage play it would have closed early because in McGavin's hands Kolchak would have chased everyone else off the stage in pursuit of a juicy story.

Stephen King wrote in his book Danse Macabre that Kolchak was the key to taking the vampire from its stuffy Gothic setting where we might see it as silly kids' stuff and making it a credible part of the real world - the mundane place of used car lots and property leases, of tired and hassled casino showgirls, of hospital blood banks and bureaucrats and bellicose editors. The supernatural was a hard sell for a down-to-Earth, no-bullshit guy like Kolchak, but if he could believe in vampires, King argues, then so could we. Producer Dan Curtis (of Dark Shadows fame) and author Richard Matheson convinced us by convincing Kolchak. King was praising the original Night Stalker telefilm. He was less laudatory of the series overall but still impressed with star Darren McGavin.

This eight-year-old didn't know anything about any of that. I'd never even heard of the two TV movies. But I knew what scared me, and Kolchak knew it before I did.

That's what this show is for me, the "safe scare" that the horror genre is at its heart unadulterated by gore, sex, subtext, or other concerns. It is simple fear distilled. It is the tale told at the campfire, in the dark, in the open where nothing will shelter you. You know it's not real, but...you look over your shoulders anyway. Just in case. 'Cuz you can hear the woods moving.

UFO (Gerry and Sylvia Anderson, 1970) TLDR

There, covered ya in the thread title. 😦

(Intro and first episode)

Identified


In 1970 three people were killed during an encounter with an unidentified object. Evidence on a cinefilm they left behind was strong enough for authorities to justify an international effort to unveil the alien intruders, discover their objectives, and protect the Earth from their marauding. The name of this program is SHADO (Supreme Headquarters Alien Defence Organization), and it is unknown to the public — the world's most closely guarded secret.

Ten years later, Commander Ed Straker oversees SHADO on the verge of a breakthrough in their fight against the invaders. Previously SHADO forces have been unable to intercept inbound alien craft due to their tremendous speed, despite specialized resources deployed across the planet, under the sea, and even secreted on the moon. Now new technology has been developed that promises SHADO's first victory, tech that can accurately determine the presence, location, and course of a UFO.

This development has been plagued by highly suspicious setbacks, suggesting spies and sabotage within their organization. It seems likely that when the equipment and personnel behind this breakthrough are transported to SHADO central, there will be an attempt by aliens to shoot down the flight.

UFO is the brainchild of Gerry and Sylvia Anderson of Supermarionation fame, science fiction-based action/adventures that featured puppets and plenty of futuristic craft to appeal to children (especially children of the geek persuasion — I raise my hand here). UFO saw the Andersons transition to live action. While their prior shows had been aimed at children, UFO was more mature in tone and theme though still appealing to the young with its science-fiction action and heavy use of fantastic hardware (sci-fi geek love knows no age). Among other running concerns, episodes explore morality in wartime, the burdens of command, ethics of secrecy in situations where there can be no comfortable solutions and no option is clearly "right".

This leads to a rather bleak tone to the series overall. Performances lean toward the grim, apropos to the material but occasionally less than dimensional especially when conveying large blocks of exposition or stabs at philosophy (always ungainly, a weak point every time). Critics were often harsh about the actors, saying that their performances were every bit as convincing as the puppets — and that the scripts were just as wooden. Truthfully, some of the actors were just as harsh about the scripts (at least, this was the case with the cast of UFO's followup series, Space:1999, who didn't bother to hide their frustration). I sound like an apologist here for accusations of UFO being emotionally flat, some of those charges are dead on...but to some degree the emotionally blunted tone is a deliberate choice. If you don't think so, see the chilly closing credits sequence and its accompanying score. It's as distant and demoralizing as you could want.

To leaven the dire nature of the premise we're offered a strong dose of action, a modicum of humor, and some amount of romance. Aging the best are the action sequences, though by modern terms calling it "action" is a bit of a stretch. Solidly constructed through deft editing and tension, they play more to wracked nerves than fistfights or shootouts. They still grip though, thanks to remarkable production values such as fine photography (many scenes are night shots — half-seen in just the right ways while remaining clear). UFO showcased standard-setting miniature and fx work overseen by Derek Meddings (of Star Wars and 007 fame) and craft designs that still today are sought after by genre enthusiasts the world over in resin, plastic, and diecast.

More strained are the humor and romantic interludes, thanks to unabashed '60s sexism in full peacock display. This is UFO's lighter touch! Impractical uniforms for the women that promise flesh from moonbase uniforms that change from skintight to cheerleader miniskirts with a flick of a wrist to mesh shirts underwater. In fact, their officially issued equipment includes a handy little concealed makeup kit! There's an irony here, when the blatant invitation to objectify is mitigated (in theory) by overtly stated recognition of gender equality in the workplace (because this is set in the future: 1980), yet it's only when the women are off-duty that they are at their most casual. Report for work, and it's time to doll up and get hit on!

Okay, let's get to the first episode.

"Identified" is a tidy, efficient intro to the show's premise as the well-paced plot moves us through an overview of each division of SHADO's operation. We hardly notice the expository nature of the script (well, until Straker opens his mouth, anyway...) because the danger of the flight barrels forward unimpeded with our attention in tow. It's a nicely sustained bit of suspense that lasts well toward the episode's conclusion, and carries into the first capture of an alien. Throughout, the dire nature of the endeavor has been maintained without much belaboring — the possibility of moles in the organization is introduced but not discussed, the need for secrecy ably demonstrated in the importance and peril of the flight, and finally in the revelations afforded by the alien: they are using us as harvest material.

"Identified" also introduces us to two of the major characters: the aforementioned Commander Straker and his second, Colonel Alec Freeman. Together they form the yin and yang of the soul of UFO, Straker struggling to bury his humanity in the name of the greater good, and Freeman trying to honor his own innate empathy in balance with the job.

Straker's an uptight, hardass micromanager by necessity, who we will later learn has taken a few hits to his humanity already. Played by Ed Bishop, he maintains a vacation-worthy state of near-breaking point. You know he's at his most relaxed when he's in a sardonic haze. Honestly, he's hard to like. Well, protagonists don't have to be likeable but they do have to be interesting — you need a reason to watch. Bishop has a strong presence, captivating good looks (his platinum hair is just jarring enough to deserve its own screen credit) and a deep voice that cuts through everyone. Bishop can't do much with his speeches, but I doubt anyone else could either and Bishop owns the screen whenever he appears.

Countering him is Freeman, who is at least freewheeling when it comes to women — the source of both the show's attempted levity and much of the cringeworthy sexism. Essayed by a crusty George Sewell with the demeanor of a seasoned vet (someone to be relied on) yet unjaded in outlook, he insists on acting as Straker's conscience no matter how much Straker rails that his conscience is overtaxed already. The two have a bond long established and unassailable, but they still clash. In Identified, the first two times we meet him he is all eyes for the women in his immediate vicinity (although it's hard to blame him for noticing the ridiculously sexy uniform one is wearing). It's an impression that will be tempered later but not so much in this pilot episode.

This is a decent episode. Not challenging but holds one's attention with few distractions and delivers a suitably chilling punchline. Low points are kept to a minimum, however much they stand out as awkward they don't sour the production or slow the tale. Besides the script's faults and the attitude towards women, the setup of Shado's location always strikes me as extravagant and a little too on-the nose cute: a top-secret base cloaked in a film studio. Straker's hydraulic office doesn't convince me. But then, is it really that big a stretch in a show where a jet fighter can be launched from beneath the sea?

7 glimpses of something vague behind a tree, because you gotta have somewhere to go up from. Not much personal conflict, gets a little wooden at times, and should be sent to see the principal for heavyhanded sexism.


Asides from the latest viewing...

Gerry Anderson productions had at least one thing in common with Irwin Allen's TV shows, and that's the brilliant design work behind the craft and machinery (B-9 robot of Lost in Space. They have an iconic style to them that is sometimes of an era while still being timeless, every bit as much as the '66 Batmobile. On UFO I'm especially taken with the SkyDiver, Interceptors, the title craft, and as a kid I thought Straker's car was magnificent. Even the moon base was stylish while simple.

I remember seeing this as it aired back in the '70s (American syndication) and the opening sequence of the UFO almost but not quite glimpsed above the trees has stayed with me - terrified ans thrilled me as a kid. A great lesson in economy, re filmmaking, it was the audio effect used for the Ufos that got under my skin. Great way to introduce the show, had me effectively hooked. The whole episode is solid - concise, easy to follow, dramatic, sets the stakes.

Have to laugh at the overt sexism of "the future world of 1980", Freeman gets away with a lot. Pretty sure the look of the moon contingent and sub crew imprinted themselves on me at a formative age...

It's too bad Shane Rimmer's appearances were always so brief, would love to have seen him play a more important role. OTOH, it's good to see him at all, and UFO brought him back a few times.

Love the funky opening titles theme by Bary Gray. I never grew up with the Supermarionation shows that preceded UFO, maybe they just didn't play local stations in the U.S. Those are some heavy-exposition credits to make sure newcomers get the picture.

I almost don't notice how crazy the purple wigs are on the Moonbase's female personnel, because I first saw this as a child...and not so long after I'd been watching Yvonne Craig cycling around Gotham City in a sparkly purple body suit•. Ah, such style! So, the browline of the base wigs consists of a V that dips down the center, echoing the eyebrows. On Lt. Ellis, one arch of her wig's browline was notably higher then the other, giving her a perpetually wry expression in the best tradition of Mr. Spock.

Ayshea Brough always appears at SHADO as a glorified extra, but this is the first time I've realized that it's her we see at the episode beginning in civilian attire approaching the studio with a script.

It always gets me that the aliens have FTL travel, lasers in their craft, but on the ground they wield machine guns.

While not graphic, the first death seemed especially brutal for TV of that era both in the way it's choreographed and for coming mere moments after rise of curtain. Her body is practically yanked away (was she on wires or did the actress throw herself?), you can practically feel the bullets rip into her body. Instantly lets you know, this one's not a kiddie show.

This critical Utronic equipment that's going to make a vital difference - do we ever hear about it again? it's been a while... The performance of the Moonbased Interceptors will remain spotty at best throughout the series.


• actually, ya know... memory is unreliable. I've just remembered that we had not bought our first color television yet.

Torso

Just watched the blu-ray. 9/10

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