Blood Beach (1980)

That's what I'm talkin' about.

Birds & Bees: The History Of Bad Biology



There's nothing more American than a good comeback story. Especially by an underdog. That's what low-budget Horror filmmaker, Frank Henenlotter is. From a technical standpoint, his movies are pretty bad. Not to mention that his last film was in 1992. It seems as though the man has had very few ideas in his long career, although, the one's he has had have all been borderline genius. That is, if you happen to have an appreciation for the bizarre and the grotesque. That's what his films have been like as long as he's been making them. But more specifically, Frank Henenlotter seems to have a thing for deformities, freaks, and how they're dealt with. usually very poorly, which is where his own special brand of dark humor always shines through. The weirdness, as well as an obvious nod to 50's creature features, are consistently present and make Frank Henenlotter's body of work possibly the most distinct of any director I'm familiar with. And in that respect, the movie I'm going to talk about does not disappoint.

Although, the disappointment is there. More on that later. The movie I want to talk about today is Bad Biology. Frank Henenlotter's most recent film. Many thought he was done making movies. But in 2008, he finally returned to bring us yet another freakshow. I have some mixed feelings about this one, which I will go into, but I will say the man is smart. Because he knows that sex sells. And he came up with a fairly clever way to apply that to his weirdness. In a nutshell, Bad Biology is about a woman with a seven clits, who has a freakishly hyper-active sex drive as a result of this. What this film is really about is that AND some guy with a dick which has a mind of its own. Even the cover implies they are equals in the story, and possibly romantically connected. But this movie is mostly about this chick named Jennifer, who can't seem to get enough dick. A woman who wasn't always so comfortable with her abnormality, now embraces it all fully. Jennifer searches for dick, gets down to business, gets seven times the pleasure of normal women, usually gets carried away and kills the guy connected to said dick, all resulting in some serious pigging out. Minutes later, she pushes a freak baby out her cooter, Which is coldly discarded as non-human.

Jennifer has been hurt a lot, and her free-spirited sluttiness, as well as her disconnected view on things, is a direct result of this. And perhaps her existence has driven her a bit crazy on top of it. Although, she's not all bad. Just selfish, with some serious narcissistic qualities. It does seem as if all this is leading towards her gaining a love interest. And that love interest would obviously be a guy named Batz. Batz has a bit of a dick issue. A dick which was accidentally cut off at birth, but later reattached, and injected with all sorts of drugs in the hopes of making it work properly. But somehow, it developed a mind of its own, and has been out of control ever since, with a pussy-thirst which cannot be quenched. And the more drugs get injected into it, the more of an ugly, mutated mess it becomes. Also, any woman who gets fucked by this freak dick usually orgasms themselves to death. No poon can withstand the power of this monstrous tallywhacker... At least not a normal one. That's where Jennifer comes in. When these two find each other, it seems like a solution for them both, or at least one of them. However, nothing good could possibly come from so much freakish sexual frustration coming together.

I enjoyed this movie. Really, I did. But did it live up to my expectations? Not really. But that's only because of the level of entertainment value and legendary status of Henenlotter's earlier films, as well as the ridiculously long wait for him to finally make another film. I just expected a little more. On one hand, the story is classic Henenlotter. On the other hand, it's typical Henenlotter. Nothing new, while the charm of the earlier films are lacking. In story, as well as heart and soul. The whole thing just seems a little thrown together, with characters that aren't all that likable. And personally, I don't think the rap score did this movie any favors.

Now, I'm not one who needs romance in movies, but we have every reason to think this is all leading towards these two people finding each other, making their own existence more bearable, giving each other peace, or some shit. When the opportunity presents itself, Jennifer is merely interested in the "super dick" and nothing else. While the anti-social Batz just wants no part of her, period. Well, at least this approach wasn't predictable, but with the movie already seeming very incomplete, this lack of story and character development left me feeling very much unfulfilled. However, there are plenty of fun moments, and some pretty funny lines, as well as a hilarious ending which is classic Henenlotter at its classiest. That alone made the experience worth it. Bad Biology has its flaws, but ultimately, I would recommend it to anyone who enjoyed Basket Case or Brain Damage. Although, I really do hope this doesn't end up being the Henenlotter swan song. Because I feel like the man is capable of more. Yet, I can't help but be grateful that Frank Henenlotter made this comeback in the first place. But with rumors now circulating of a Basket Case 4, Let's hope Bad Biology was just a warmup. 5/10



#Review

Podcasts

Does anyone here listen to podcasts? I listen to quite a few and I sometimes put them on when I'm cleaning. They are usually ones where they discuss horror movies. I've also got some good recs from these podcasts. Probably the most popular one I listen to is Shock Waves(which used to be Killer POV). I also listen to quite a few on horrorphilia.com. 22 Shots of Moodz and Horror, ABCs of Hidden Horror, and Exploding Heads Horror Podcast. And I also listen to Hysteria Lives. They just put up an episode where they reviewed Ax'Em.

100 Obscure Horror Trash

I was surfing the internet one day and came across this list of 100 Obscure Horror Trash. I checked them off and I have seen about half. Now I plan on tracking down and watching the rest. You can go to https://www.listchallenges.com/100-obscure-horror-trash to check them off or you can look at the list below. What do you think about the list? How many have you seen? And of the ones you have seen what do you think about them. I have Nightmare Sisters and Murder Weapon. I will be watching those two next.

# 1 Mosquito
# 2 Crystal Force
# 3 The Undertaker
# 4 Pale Blood
# 5 Night Visitor
# 6 Auntie Lee's Meat Pies
# 7 Phantom of the Mall
# 8 The Ruinestone
# 9 Alien Space Avenger (1989)
# 10 The Unborn
# 11 Alien Outlaw
# 12 I Was a Teenage Zombie
# 13 Spirits
# 14 Nightmare Weekend
# 15 Jennifer
# 16 Trapped
# 17 Blood Salvage (1990)
# 18 Mongrel
# 19 The Regenerated Man
# 20 Jack-O
# 21 Shakma
# 22 The Vagrant
# 23 Uninvited
# 24 The Chair
# 25 Without Warning
# 26 Blackout
# 27 Satan's Cheerleaders
# 28 Witchtrap
# 29 Nightmare Sisters
# 30 The Divine Enforcer
# 31 Dracula's Widow
# 32 Zombie Death House
# 33 Witchery
# 34 Night Screams
# 35 Syngenor
# 36 Stanley
# 37 Grandmothers House
# 38 Deranged
# 39 Witch Academy
# 40 Night Warning (1982)
# 41 The Pit
# 42 Garden of the Dead
# 43 Vampire Cop
# 44 Hack-O-Lantern
# 45 Hard Rock Zombies
# 46 The Hearse
# 47 Psychos in Love
# 48 Nightmare
# 49 Blood Tracks
# 50 The Baby
# 51 Sole Survivor
# 52 Rituals
# 53 The Carrier
# 54 Blood Frenzy
# 55 Vampire's Embrace
# 56 Wildman of the Navidad
# 57 Offerings
# 58 Demon Wind
# 59 Dear God No! (Big World Pictures)
# 60 Laserblast
# 61 Teen Vamp
# 62 Microwave Massacre
# 63 Murder Weapon
# 64 Breeders
# 65 Cannibal Hookers
# 66 Hellhole
# 67 There's Nothing Out There
# 68 Pledge Night
# 69 The Invisible Maniac
# 70 Satan's Blade
# 71 Curse of the Queerwolf
# 72 Ghoul School
# 73 Ticks
# 74 Bugged!
# 75 Bug
# 76 The Vineyard
# 77 Blue Monkey
# 78 Curse of the Blue Lights
# 79 The Other
# 80 Ice Cream Man
# 81 Slime City
# 82 Darkness
# 83 Blood Massacre
# 84 Head of the Family
# 85 The Supernaturals
# 86 Barn of the Naked Dead
# 87 The Black Room
# 88 Mutant
# 89 The Centerfold Girls
# 90 Ghost Dance
# 91 Trapped Alive
# 92 Nail Gun Massacre
# 93 Girls Night Out
# 94 Hard to Die (1990)
# 95 Dreamaniac
# 96 Boardinghouse
# 97 The Freeway Maniac
# 98 Night Life
# 99 The Suckling
# 100 The Brain

Remember Limp Bizkit had 2 songs in the Top 40?

Ohh early 2000's. Never change.

Expanding our Brand

What up, friends?

Your old pal what's-his-face here, just thinking about the next step for TE. IMDb killed itself, the boards split up, and it... kinda sucks. Everyone went off in different directions, to all sorts of different boards, and the unity is no more. It's the end of an era, and I miss it terribly. Everyday, I idly browse the internet, but I just don't have as many places to look anymore.

Next month is going to be a busy month. We have the new Trash Challenge to keep us active, and if the October Challenge was any indication, this one could keep us steady. I for one am going to participate, and try for at least the bare minimum to watch a bunch of video nasties I've never seen, because it's important to have goals.

My fear is that without IMDb, we wont have random users casually wandering into our domain. This is a website out in the corner of nowhere, so it'll be hard to attract a new userbase.

Part of me wants to scour the abyss of the other imdb replacement forums, to find the refugees who want to keep the spirit of imdb alive, but at the same time, I don't want to live out my existance riding the coat-tails of something that used to be great. Nome sane?

@hotwings had the idea of writing our url on cash bills, which is totally illegal and I don't encourage that. •WINK•

How do you think we should expand our brand? I've already mimicked the imdb feel almost verbatim, but even the replacement boards aren't as active as the source was. What is the world coming to, and how can we adapt?

Santa Clarita Diet (on Netflix)

It is pretty funny and gory. It gets a bit goofy at times but I think the unexplained reason (Puke/Undead/Dead) Zombie thing is cool. Anyone see this yet?

#gore

Big improvement

This place looks much better with the white background.

The Strange Vengeance Of Rosalie (1972)



Budget isn't everything. It's often an important factor in a movie's success, and vital to obtain some amount of respect as an actual movie in the minds of most. But in some cases, a lack of budget just isn't that big of a deal, as the story is so dominant over all other aspects. At that point, it comes down to adding stuff just for the sake of adding stuff. Today, we're going to talk about one of those movies that has such a compelling storyline, that one may not even notice that they're watching a movie that looks as if it cost about 15 bucks to make. Today, we're going to talk about The Strange Vengeance Of Rosalie. Micro-budget filmmaking at its finest.

I really dig desert movies. That's where this movie takes place. Actually, the New Mexico Desert is where it takes place. However, the Spanish desert is where it was filmed. Just throwing out this unusual fact which I feel adds to the movie's mystique. So, Rosalie is supposed to be about 16 or 17, I'm guessing. No parents, grandpa just kicked the bucket. Rosalie is all alone, piss poor, uneducated and stuck in this desert shack with a bunch of chickens, which seems to be the only place she's ever seen. Rosalie doesn't have much going for her, these days. But she does have enough sense to realize she'd be a lot better off with a man. So, tricking one into coming out there and forcing him to stay forever seems to be where her head is at. And a messed up head, it is. Rosalie has some problems. One of which being that she doesn't seem to get the concept of right and wrong. She wants what she wants, and what she wants is the only right she knows. Rosalie is not so much selfish as she's just plain primitive.

So, this guy, Virgil, passing through a New Mexico highway, on his way to a much needed Hawaiian vacation, makes his first mistake. Virgil picks up a hitchhiker. A harmless looking teenager named Rosalie, who is using a potato sack for a dress. Rosalie claims she's from Chicago, visiting her grandpa who lives way out in the desert. She manages to guilt trip the good natured Virgil into taking her the entire way, but once they get there, no grandpa. Just s shack in the middle of pitch black nowhere. Virgil figures it's ok to take off since Rosalie is confident that grandpa will return shortly, but she seriously does not want him to leave. Serious enough to poke out one of his tires, pretty much blowing Virgil's chances of making his flight. Virgil sleeps in his car that night with the intention of deciding what to do the next morning. He doesn't get to decide shit, however, because Rosalie breaks his leg once he gets out of line. Rosalie is also a bit of a psycho.

Not a full fledged psycho, really. She's pretty pleasant as long as she always gets what she wants and is never annoyed. She seems to have enough good in her for Virgil to be able to convince her to get him a doctor. But first, he has to convince her that a broken leg is indeed a reason to need a doctor. And she doesn't seem to realize this, or really much of anything. Rosalie is very much in her own little world, and what's important to her is all that there is. And what's important to her is not being lonely. She agrees to go fetch a doctor as Virgil hands her some money for groceries, but she comes back solo, as we suspected she would. As Virgil tries and tries to convince Rosalie that #1, keeping him there forever is unrealistic, and #2, he needs a doctor or he could lose his leg, we are given examples of how frustrating it can be to deal with someone with such little sense. She's seemingly too dumb to outsmart, but manages to smarten up quick at the most inconvenient of times.

Virgil makes the mistake of appearing too friendly, which is very much misunderstood, leading to Rosalie assuming that they're going to get hitched. There's some gold buried with grandpa, and a greedy, unwanted third party who shows up, complicating things further. Virgil doesn't want any gold, and he sure as hell doesn't want to get hitched to the kid who just broke his leg. All he wants is to get away from this place and get his leg checked out. And the closer he gets to his freedom, the further away it all seems.



This is by far the best example of isolation that I've seen in a movie. Poor Virgil might as well be on the moon, as he's going nowhere with that broken leg. We don't ever really learn anything about Virgil, and all we think we know about Rosalie is what she tells him. Just like this tiny cast is isolated from the world, we the viewer are equally isolated from the knowledge of what is actually going on. At times, it seems Virgil is sincere when insisting they can run off together after Rosalie gets him a doctor. An unlikely scenario, but we're never given confirmation on anything. Especially what's going on in Rosalie's head. All the confusion finally culminates in a twist ending which compliments this story very nicely.

For those who are willing to dig a little deeper for the quality cinema so many others have missed out on, this overlooked little gem should brighten your day. And for any fans of Misery, you might see some similarities which may or may not have been borrowed from Rosalie. Either way, I think this one could use a little more recognition as the damn good movie that it became, despite the non existent budget it had to work with. In fact, I'm a little surprised a company better than Sinister Cinema hasn't snatched this one up and put out a decent release with some interviews or audio commentary, telling the story of this unique but overlooked desert Thriller. The Strange Vengeance Of Rosalie deserves a fanbase. 9/10



#Review

I hate the News

I just read that Asghar Farhadi wont be attending the Oscars. Yeah, that's right. Who the fuck is he, and why should I care? That's rhetorical. I don't give a fuck who he is. I just think it's stupid, and I hate news that tries to impress upon you that certain people's opinions matter. I also hate Hollywood for trying to beg us to vote for their sponsor, and throwing fits when the better man wins. We could make better news than that.

Dear Trump, make the news great again.