Yakko is in the house

My first post, just to let everyone know I'm here.

Folk lore Horror

I love folk lore horror, Blood on Satan's Claw,Witchfinder General,The VVitch are all great, The Village had elements to it. Do you guys have any rec's?

#ballsandwich

Ex Machina (2015)

I recently watched this for the October Challenge, not realising it wasn't a horror movie. My own stupid fault of course, I went in blind, I should have at least checked the tags on imdb, but the dvd box was cheap and it had quotes on it like "Tense, thought provoking thriller" and said it was from the makers of Sunshine and 28 Days Later, so I thought, why not!
Well it's not a horror movie, so don't check it out for the challenge. But it's actually a damn good one. And even though it's not horror, it's pretty damn chilling in parts too.

A man is invited to a private estate of a billionaire to work for him. But once he's there, things get a bit strange. I really don't want to give away much here. I've said this before many times, it really is best going in blind. This is a sci-fi movie, a psychological drama/thriller starring Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson and Alicia Vikander. What I will say, is this movie draws you in. I'm not much of a sci-fi fan, but this movie had a way of intriguing me. A big part of this, was Oscar Isaac and his creepy yet entertaining performance. Vikander also had a sweet yet sinister presence. The only weak link was good ole Gleeson, but then again, I recognised him from Harry Potter so I may not have given him the chance he deserved.

The way this movie unfolded was pretty unsettling. Even though this wasn't a horror movie, there was always something just not right with the events depicted in the movie. The actors do a good job conveying this, but the music also helped in setting the tone, as did the isolated location.

Anyway, horror fans who like psychological horrors and social commentary on voyeurism and the effects of technology will probably get a kick out of this movie. I know I did. I will say this. The ending is heavy man. Like REALLY heavy. Damn!

This movie isn't ground breaking, but it's very entertaining. 8/10 for me.

Anyone seen this? Thoughts/opinions? If yes, please watch spoilers for those who haven't seen it.

Cheech and Chong

Cheech and Chong are legends of marijuana cinema. They worked together prominently throughout the 70s and 80s, releasing several highly-rewatchable comedy classics from 1978 to 1983.

The films are wild, comedic gold, featuring recurring guest appearances by Michael Winslow, Pee-Wee Herman, and Stacy Keach, among others.

The Corsican Brothers (1984) is omitted because it sucks so bad.

Which film is your favorite?

If YOU were a filmmaker...

What movie would you make?

Personally, I'm too poor and anti-social to assemble a film crew and make anything, but I've written several screenplays over the years. My ideal project would be an ongoing series of Universal Monster rip-offs merged with several slasher films. I fuckin' love Universal Monster movies, as I'd watched them a lot when I was old enough to work and buy dvds. In 2004, I was 16 years old. Old enough to get a job, and I could actually afford to buy shit for myself. I went straight to dvds, and Universal was releasing some awesome Legacy collections of the classic 30s and 40s monster movies. I was hooked.

I've also been obsessed with 70s and 80s slashers since I was 8, when Scream of all movies introduced me to them. I'm talking Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and The Terminator. These were the definitive horror films to me. I still love these redundant slasher icons, and could watch them anytime.

I've often dissected these films over and over in my head, trying to define them, and figure out why they stuck with me so much. Maybe it's just nostalgia, but there's no doubt they've been hugely influential on me and my aimless little life. I've always felt that if I were to make movies, these would be the movies to inspire me the most. Not limited to just slashers, I've always been big into Evil Dead too, just because it's such a gory creepfest, I'd feel wrong leaving it out of the mix.

There's so much crazy mythology behind these films that I wanted to exploit, because in this day and age, nothing is original. Why not make something inspired by these iconic horror films? Add some southern white trash and a lot of marijuana into the mix, and NOW we're talking!

I've outlined several monster movie slasher hybrids over the years, and there's always the faint hope of making these a reality that keeps me going. I could ramble on about my ideas, but I'd rather listen to some of yours.

If you could make a single movie, or several movies... what would they be? Have you ever written any screenplays? As usual, feel free to ramble on, cuz that's what this place is about!

Tromafreak's Worst Nightmare & Terrible Things



Back in Fall of 2004, I spent an entire Saturday afternoon, and part of the night drinking large amounts of cheap vodka out amongst nature with my then best friend, Jeremy. Jeremy was a real good guy. A true friend. He never would have done anything to fuck me over, or ruin my buzz in any way. Atleast not on purpose. so, eventually, the time comes to call it a night. I ride with him on the way back to my house. Once we get there, it's obvious to the both of us that he's way too drunk to be driving all the way out to his place. Hell, he barely made it to my house. So, of course he can stay over to sleep it off. after all, what are friends for?

We go to my room, and chill on the couch, getting stoned & watching Terror Firmer. it doesn't take long for Mr. Lightweight to pass out on the couch. Looking back, I should have got his ass up immediately and made him go sleep on the couch in the den, but whatever, I thought. He looks comfortable. I don't mind if he sleeps in here. So, I just get myself a little higher, turn off Terror Firmer, and stumble on over to my bed and go right to sleep without a care in the world. And then IT happened!!

After about an hour of sleeping, I am awakened to the sound of wretching. I had left the tv on, so, I could kinda see across the room, but not incredibly well. It looked to me like Jeremy was vomiting. And he damn well was, too. But what is that he's vomiting in? It looks like my trash can. it must be. What else could it be? I woulda asked, but he passed back out soon thereafter. I'm in no condition to really care, anyway, so, I lay down and go back to sleep. Actually, I drifted in and out for probably another hour, give or take. At a point, I notice that my trash can is closer to my side of the room. So, I was mistaken. Jeremy was not vomiting in my trash can after all. That's Good... But then again, he WAS vomiting! I seen it!

So, what the hell was he vomiting in, then? And then it hit me! Almost my entire B-movie collection, which then consisted of about 40 or 50 vhs tapes, was sitting in a big box, right over there beside the couch. Unacceptable! No fucking way, I thought! There's just no way that could ever happen. I was in no shape to face such a cruel reality.

So, I didn't. I just laid there on my side, starring at this box across the room, trying like hell to either convince myself that it wasn't the same box that I had at first thought, or maybe he didn't really do what I saw him do. It had to be one or the other. The third option was too horrifying. My mind would simply not go there. I'm now in the middle of the biggest case of denial I've ever conjured up in my life.

So, after about another hour of doing that, I work up the guts to get back up, and make that long stagger across the room to see once and for all if my beloved B-movie collection is in fact covered in vodka, stomach acid, and half-digested pink hotdogs. And I'm still trashed enough to be rather confident that there's actually nothing to worry about. So, I don't even turn the light on. I just take one finger and touch one vhs cover in the open box to hopefully feel that it's totally dry, which would've been good enough for me. What I felt on my finger was cold, sticky, disgusting reality. My thick layer of denial had once and for all been shattered into a million pieces. Which was about the moment I smelled one of the worst smells I've ever smelled in my goddamned life. I then run out of my room and into the bathroom to vomit, and of course to wash my finger.

So, at this point, I'm basically having my first ever drunken panic attack. I go back in my room and turn the light on and just stand there, unable to move, starring a hole through this passed out sonofabitch. I was sort of in a trance. A rage-trance, if you will. I'm about a second away from waking my now former best friend up by kicking him in the stomach. I honestly came very close to doing that. I'm Glad I didn't because after I called out his name to wake him up, he informed me that he suspected alcohol poisoning, and that he really had no idea what he had done. He really thought it was a trash can. Which was totally believeable considering how much he had drank.

So, on top of everything else, I now feel like I can't get too terribly pissed about this tragic turn of events because this guy is in a great deal of pain. So, who the hell can I be mad at? I do need him to atleast try to clean my beloved tapes. So, I just calmly explain what had happened a couple hours ago, and while he seemed very sorry, there was just no way he was in any condition to do anything about this. And really, neither was I. Being in the same room with that smell was awful. I just wanted to go pass out so I could forget I was ever born. So, I picked up the box, carried it to the garage. Ran back to my room and went right to sleep. because all I wanted was to stop knowing about this for a while.

After however many hours of sleep, I get my hungover pal up bright and not-so early. It's time to start cleaning. So, we cleaned the damn things best we could. That's right. I actually helped the dickless cunt. I hadn't actually looked at the damage that had been caused until this point. As you can imagine, alot of the covers were unsalvageable. But even 12 years later, some of the tapes still have puke stains on them. And to my surprise, only 3 tapes were unplayable. Basket Case, Dawn Of The Dead, and The Town That Dreaded Sundown, Which I still haven't gotten around to replacing, by the way. Being the fair man that he was, my buddy would replace the 3 movies with 3 more the following weekend when we went out to the flea market. So, atleast there's that. Werewolves On Wheels, Class Reunion Massacre, and Blood Freak was what I would end up choosing. And finally, I felt better about the situation, as we had one helluva stoned triple-feature that afternoon/evening. Almost making up for the mental anguish he had caused... Almost!

Moral of the story: If you value your movie collection, regardless of what format, don't be an idiot. put them on shelves, for fuck's sake!

And the film adaptation, starring and directed by Box_a_Hair.

Conspiracy Theorys

I was talking with someone who seemed to think the Moon Landings were faked.

So whats everyone favorite Conspiracy Theory?
Im gonna have to go with Reptilians

And what ones do you think are true?
I believe in Elements of the New World Order

Close Enough: The History Of Black Sabbath 13



Once upon a time, there were four members of Black Sabbath. Guitarist, Tony Iommi. Bassist, Geezer Butler. Singer, Ozzy Osbourne. And drummer, Bill Ward. And then came the 80's, which gave us seemingly endless vocal/bass/drum changes, spilling on into the 90's. Some changes, not so bad. Some pretty bad. It wasn't until 1997 that all four original members of this legendary group would find their way back to each other. What we got was years and years of touring. A couple lousy new tracks released on a live album, but for the most part, all we got was a bunch of shows which began with War Pigs and ended with Paranoid. One would assume this reunion would, sooner or later, include maybe a new album. From 1997 to 2006, nothing but shows, shows, shows. There was new material put out over these years, but it was always solo stuff from Ozzy or Iommi. What is this, some kind of sick joke?


An album was to be written and recorded in 2001, but studio pressure forced Ozzy to bail and go do a solo album instead, which sounded suspiciously like a Sabbath album. And in '04, material was written and recorded, but ultimately, they decided what they came up with was beneath them. Fair enough, but this is getting a little ridiculous. It's now been 26 years since you guys originally broke up, and seven years since you got back together. So, fucking get on with it! And in 2006, they disbanded.

And after a few years of the refreshing reunion of Dio Sabbath/Heaven And Hell (which included an album, by the way), this incarnation of the group was put to rest due to the death of Ronnie James Dio. The album they released was not an official Sabbath album, although, I very much consider it one. However, this is not the way this band should go out. As good as 'The Devil You Know' might have been, there is only one way for the Sabbath fan to truly have closure. For all four original members to get together one last time, and put out one last masterpiece. Nothing else will do.

And on 11/11/11, the announcement was made during a very hyped press conference. It was finally made official. After years of rumors all ending in dissappointment, THE REAL Black Sabbath would do it in the studio one more time! More on this sometime in 2012...



And then, it happened. In Early 2012, the news broke. Many of us hoped it was a rumor, but it was indeed news. Original drummer, Bill Ward, was out. But why? As of 2016, the answer to this question has still yet to be 100% clear. Throughout the year, interviews are given, statements are made, but nothing is ever really confirmed. Ward claims he was offered "a bad contract". A contract that offered him significantly less money than the other three. An insulting payday which he felt diminished his importance to the band. Rumor has it that Sharon Osbourne had something to do with this, but again, nothing was ever confirmed.

While always expressing regret of how things went down, The other three members of the band called bullshit on Bill's claim, and made claims of their own regarding Bill's ability to get the job done. It's been said that he was terribly out of shape, and couldn't remember anything during rehearsals, and that with Bill Ward on board, this album would have never been completed. Very much making him out to be the weak link. As dissappointing as all this is, it's kind of understandable. Assuming there's any truth in it, that is. But either way, Bill Ward's feelings were hurt. And us Sabbath fans were going to pay the price.

And just like that, the first album in 35 years featuring the original Black Sabbath became the first album in 35 years to feature Ozzy Osbourne on vocals. So close, yet so far! As 2012 went on, fans got their hopes up that things would get worked out, but it just wasn't to be. That didn't mean it couldn't be a good album, though. Sure. Iommi's got cancer and is undergoing Chemotherapy treatment. And Ozzy is back on the bottle, and God knows what else, but We mustn't lose hope that this album can still kick a lot of ass. However, the question remains: Who's on drums?

Whether it comes from all four original members or not, it goes without saying that this album must sound like the original Sabbath from the 70's. So, for the first time ever, finding a drummer similar to Bill Ward is a must. But a difficult task, indeed, because Bill Ward has a very unique style. Finally, a desicion was made. Bill Ward has been replaced. Not in the band, but only for the album. Brad Wilk from Rage Against The Machine would be the one to fill Ward's shoes. But only as a session member.

As shitty as all this is, all we can do now is look on the bright side. Some new blood would be infused into the final chapter of Black Sabbath. Ward is (or was?) great, but drummers usually lose their touch before anyone else, so, I never found this whole thing very hard to swallow. The truth is, Wilk is a great drummer, and someone with a very similar style to Ward. But is he right for this important album?



This album became known as '13'. It's never been confirmed as to how it ended up with this title. But there are several theories. And with all the problems and drama surrounding this album, the material written easily rose above it all.

End Of The Beginning: This is simply the ideal song for opener on this long-awaited album. A powerhouse epic which borrows elements from the song Black Sabbath, as well as Megalomania and maybe a dash of Dirty Woman. Possibly the strongest song on here. 10/10

God Is Dead?: Then again, maybe this here is the strongest song. Depends on who you ask. God Is Dead? is definitely more original. Ozzy's voice sucks on it, but this first single is nothing short of a slow-building masterpiece. 10/10

Loner: Should have been left off the final product and released later on. Probably the weakest song on here, but still very catchy. Too similar to N.I.B. to be taken seriously. Nice drumming, though. 5/10

Zeitgeist: Another self-ripoff. But a great song, nonetheless. A sequel to Planet Caravan, from what I've heard. Purdy stuff. 7/10

Age Of Reason: I can't think of anything they ripped off from themselves, but this does sort of sound like something that might have been on Ozzy's 1995 solo album, Ozzmosis. Fantastic song, though. One of the more popular tracks on here. And possibly Ozzy's best performance. 8/10

Live Forever: One of the more obvious self-ripoffs. Catchy as all hell, but way too similar to Under The Sun from Volume 4. This and Loner are the two weakest tracks. Which speaks volumes of this album's greatness. 6/10

Damaged Soul: Remeniscent of the first album, but not exactly ripping off anything in particular. This is very much back to their roots, as it's the least Metal and most bluesy thing on here. The slowest of all the tracks, And one of the strongest. Really good stuff from Iommi on this one. And love that Harmonica. 9/10

Dear Father: A strong enough song to close it out, but not quite Sabbathy enough for my taste. More like a really good solo-Ozzy tune. A rather dark song involving a pedo-Priest, going to Hell. Some really good moments on this one. Great drumming, great lyrics. And the return of the rain and Church bells at the end was a nice touch. 8/10



And to point out the only real flaw (outside of Ozzy's deteriorated voice), this otherwise epic swansong would also seem like one gigantic rehash. There were twice as many songs recorded for this, which would also be released, later on, but too many of the 8 official tracks really makes the whole thing look a little lazy and not all that creative. There is some originality there, but too many songs sound too much like greatest hits of the past. Too many recycled riffs paired with familiar subjects/lyrics. As much as we all wanted the original Sabbathy sound to return, this isn't exactly what we had in mind. But aside from that, this was one satisfying album which, even 3 years later, still blows me away. Ultimately, this really was the album we've been waiting on for so many years. 13 eased our hunger pains, and then some. But we can only pretend to ignore the bitter-sweetness of it all. As well as things worked out, we all know that there's only one thing that could have made it work better. Somehow, the material being so goddamn good only made it more frustrating. Bill Ward needed to be on this. Not just to make it that much better, but for closure. We needed this. And now, it's too late.

On the other hand, Brad Wilk was fantastic. I actually feel a little bad for him, though. He's by far The second best drummer that band ever had, and he can't even say he was ever a member. That's pretty lame, but I'm sure he was paid extremely well for his services. They could have probably gotten someone who was better at imitating Bill Ward, but again, Wilk was a fine choice. His drumming isn't as smooth, but he got the basics down. Listening to this album, it's pretty obvous, that production buried his drumming underneath the guitar and bass so that it didn't stand out too much. That's annoying, as well as the fact that his performance does lack a certain personal touch. Being a non-member, he was there to merely follow orders.

Unfortunately, Brad Wilk would not be joining the band on the 13 Tour. Instead, the Sabs would be joined by the guy originally intended to be on the album. Ozzy's solo drummer, Tommy Clufetos. Anyone who has a problem with Wilk should try to imagine 13 with Clufetos. He wasn't that bad playing the greatest hits on the tour, but this guy would have absolutely ruined the album. He's good, but not "Bill Ward good". Tommy Clufetos has no swing. Keeping this guy off the album was a desicion made by producer, Rick Rubin, who had been guarding 13 with his life every step of the way, making sure nothing went wrong... at least nothing else.

And with Rubin's guidance, Wilk's youth, Iommi's thunderous riffs, Geezer's doomy lyrics, and Ozzy's unmistakable voice/starpower, 13 would break all sorts of records. 13 would exceed everyone's expectations, and go down in history as one of the most commercially successful albums the band ever put out, and not to mention one of the greatest comeback albums of all time. If this was to be their last hurrah, then, what a way to go out! On top. Where they belong. However, for us fans who have been there for years, the bitter-sweetness still lingers to this day. Many of us can't help but wonder "what if". We can only fantasize about what the album might have sounded like had EVERYTHING fallen into place. I suppose we should have seen it coming. After all, this wasn't the first time he bailed. Whether he was right or wrong to not sign that contract, Ward has to live with this decision for the rest of his life. A decision to not restore his legacy once and for all, and help close the book on something special that he helped create. I'm sure this decision wasn't an easy one. It's nice to think that there could be another chance, someday, but I'm thinking Bill missed the train. 13 was a once in a lifetime opportunity. But as we found out, it was going to be great, with him or without him.

And so the 13 Tour was a massive success. As of 2016, the remaining 3/4 of the band w/ Clufetos are now in the middle of their final tour, "The End". Bands say they're hanging it up all the time, only to come crawling back for more money, but these guys are all pushing 70. So, when they say "this is it", it's hard to not take it seriosuly. One can only hope that this is only the end of Sabbath touring, and that maybe they will have some new material in them somewhere down the road. But I'm not going to hold my breath on that. Even considering the absence of Bill Ward, one cannot deny the success and greatness of 13. So, Ozzy, Tony and the Geez might actually want to quit while they're ahead, and be happy with their #1 album, closure or no clsoure.. It's not easy to say this, but I can't really blame them. 8/10

Werewolf Bitches from Outer Space (2016)



the terrific title belies the worst thing ever made by human hands. it's micro budgeted and micro plotted. i think they were going for a Tank Girl sort of Feminist Stream of Consciousness narrative but they didn't land it at all. Janeane Garofalo stars because i guess no one wants her in their real movies anymore. little of it makes sense but some of it is actually funny. despite appearances by Lloyd Kaufman and the Toxic Avenger this isn't up to Troma standards.

i recommend you all watch it.

HOWDY!!!!!!

What's going on everyone!!! Fucking IMDB boards. Oh well. Atleast I can say fuck.

#fuckingmotherfucker