Thoughts on Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is a holiday. No shit. It's annoying in the sense that it isn't set on an exact date, but rather "the last Thursday", and what good does that do? Why not just pick the actual date of the feast and cut the crap? What an asshole holiday.

I'm going to my families. I'm going to get drunk, since I can only get baked beforehand. Good eats... that's how I spend Thanksgiving. The holiday doesn't have much of an identity. Turkeys, and pilgrims ass-raping indians, and that's it! I've seen Christmas decorations out since about a week ago, but nobody decorates for Thanksgiving. What a lame fucking holiday. Hooray for obesity!

Is Thanksgiving just a way to get everybody full and energized for Black Friday? Trample Trample!

The government is trying ot control us again!
I can't think of any Thanksgiving horror movies I've seen either. Fuck!

What are your thoughts on this stupid holiday?

#Holiday

Ol' Saint WIC

I had an idea for a new horor movie. So there is a new nice fancy santa at the mall in the town of gutterville and he charges money to take pictures and sit on his lap. The poor people in the town get upset, so the town apoints a santa that can be seen for free for everyone who is poor. Long story short saint wic is evil and murders all of the rich children and bakes the children into cookies and dip them in milk, but the nice santa comes back and challenges saint wic. That's when saint wic summons the trapped souls of poor mexican children. fancy santa fight the mexican kids but the repolulate to quickly and it is no use. He is able to kill alot of mexican kids, but is unable to catch saint wic before he escapes, the police show up and fancy santa is arrested for the murder of the children. Turns out there was no saint wic, fancy santa was just crazy and he was the one killing and mutilating everyone

State of the Union

I'm not here to convince you to vote for Donald Trump or Hillery Clinton or any other presidential hopeful, mainly because my guess is that 98% of the basement dwellers that end up reading this stream of conscienceness rant won't vote. However, I am here to rant about my thoguhts on the state of the union. First of all, we have to understand that peace, unity, and the luxury of being lazy and willfully ignorant are very frigile things. We don't have the right to say what we want or do what because of how nice of a country we are, no no no, we have earned these pleasures by being bad asses and making the rest of the world understand that we are better than they are. This isn't a bad thing or a rude thing, but rather something that reminds me of something that my mother and I'm sure many of your mother used to tell me. If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day, but teach him to fish and you feed him for a life time. What are we doing when we bring people in with no hope for being intigrated into society and give them free food and shelter other that giving him fish after fish. Now consider this. instead of just creating a larger welfare state that us tax payers have to pay for, what if we create a society that others can look upon and strive to be. Over the years, in an attempt to emulate us we will have taught the world to fish. Foreign policy aside, I believe a lot of these pricipels can be applied to domestic ideals as well. Why should we incentivise not working, or give you money being you had to many children and weren't responsible. If population control and our carbon foot print is really such a big deal, why to we continue to enact policies that make it easier and in most case allow people to benifit from creating a larger population, and there for creating a larger carbon foot print? Any way, that's what was on my mind, rant over.

Who Cares If We Fail?



John Waters earned his place in Exploitation/Trash cinema history a long time ago when he made the movie which is still considered the undisputed trashiest and one of the most shocking movies in existence, Pink Flamingos. A movie I have yet to hear referred to as "overrated", or anything other than what it was intended to be. It was intended to be a lot of things, I guess, but first and foremost, Pink Flamingos is simply the movie John Waters will be remembered for. Maybe he's made a few since then that he's more proud of, but the legendary status of Pink Flamingos is what it is, and has probably been set in stone as far back as 1972. Pink Flamingos was magic. It worked, and that's all we need to know. But after such success, pressure usually comes from one place or another once the time comes for a follow up. Pressure to match or top the success. Or atleast match or top something the prior movie had going for it. And in 1974, Female Trouble was born. It wasn't as trashy, or as disgusting, or as fucked up, but Female Trouble, in my humble opinion, is far funnier, and far more mean spirited. And in that sense, John Waters did not let us down.

Dawn Davenport is an ornery, outlandish hog of a teenage girl, who resents everyone, and thinks the whole world owes her. She doesn't care about school, her future, her figure, apparently, or anything important. A typical rebelious teenager. Atleast in the mind of John Waters. Christmas is coming up, and Dawn is expecting black cha cha heels from the parents. And we can already tell that anything less is most likely going to ignite one hell of a shitstorm, and ruin Christmas for the Davenport family. And now that Christmas has been officially ruined, Dawn runs out of the house and into the cold, with tears in her eyes, breaking away from her less than perfect life which doesn't involve cha cha heels. And after seconds with her thumb out, seeking to hitch a ride, some fat douchebag (also played by Divine), picks her up, takes her to a junkyard, finds a matress, and commences to impregnate the fat bitch. How was YOUR Christmas morning?

We cut to months later, where a now pregnant Dawn gives this scumbag a call, demanding money, and rudely gets told to go fuck herself. Dawn just goes off and gives birth all by herself, and even bites through the umbillical cord, which was pretty gross, actually. We then witness the next few years at a comical speed, where Dawn has turned to Go-Go dancing, prostitution and burglary, just to support herself and her daughter that she detests and absues on a regular basis. Her daughter, Taffy, grows up before our very eyes into a fucked up, 14 year old crack baby, played to perfection by Mink Stole. Dawn despises her even more by now, and either considers her retarded, or just tells her she is just to mess with her already fragile head. Meanwhile, Dawn has been married to a douchebag named Gator who hates her as much as she hates him. Gator's Aunt is constantly on his ass to turn gay, but he's more interested in getting his step daughter to blow him. But she ain't having it. I'm guessing she wouldn't know how, or might even bite it off. But that's irrelevant, because Dawn just kicked him to the curb.

This movie is mainly about Dawn's relationship with a prissy, uppity couple, Donald and Donna Dasher, played by David Lochary and Mary Vivian Pearce. They own a salon, where Dawn is their "star costumer". A title never really explained. These two have an unusual amount of influence over Dawn, encouraging her descent into madness, insisting she's some kind of celebrity while clouding and corrupting her mind further with heroin. There's no turning back, now, as any good that may have been in Dawn has been destroyed by these people whose motives are never made all that clear. Not that Dawn cares. There was never any hope of her turning out decent to begin with.

The last movie produced from John Waters' Dreamland Productions. Not the last of his imfamous trash classics, but the last one starring David Lochary, who died of an Angel dust overdose, and the last one starring Divine, which was mainly meant as a Divine vehicle. A plan which seemed to work very well. Besides that, Female Trouble is simply example after example of Waters' obsessions and interests (same thing?). The role of Dawn Davenport was based on certain trashy, delinquent girls Waters had found fascinating back in school. I suppose Dawn was nothing more than his fantasies about what became of them in their adult years. Demented, drug addicted trash with no redeeming qualities. Divine, once again, does a superb job capturing exactly what Waters is going for with this charater. My all-time favorite of his roles. But I must mention Mink Stole's bizarre portrayal of a child who never stood a chance at a normal life, being raised (badly) by a truly rotten human being. Pretty dark stuff, here. But it all just comes off so ridiculous. Female Trouble isn't quite as memorable as the almighty Pink Flamingos, or as good, quality-wise, as some of his newer stuff. But Feamle Trouble sums up so many of John Waters' quirks and obsessions. And really, it's HIM in a nutshell. And much like most everything else the man has ever done, Female Trouble has a strong following, which will most likely become more and more true as time goes on. 8/10



#Review

DreadCentral does Things

https://www.dreadcentral.com/news/142337/things-worst-movie-ever-made/

They don't seem to like it too much. I find the movie to be wonderfully weird background noise. 1000000 / 10

Chili Talk

ShurFine actually makes my favorite chili.
I've always thought Hormel is average/overrated, as (purportedly) America's #1 selling chili.

I consider Wolf Brand chili above par, but only slightly, due to it's lack of chunkiness.
When it comes to a bowl, or hot dog chili sauce, Hormel has nothing on ShurFine, imo.

Final Verdict:
ShurFine- 8/10
Wolf Brand- 6/10
Hormel- 5/10

Songs for an election year?

Anyone have any favorites? I have LOVED this particular song for YEARS. Jesus I fucking love this fucking song. In 2016, in the US, I personally would say that Trump is the only one that this song could apply to, in either political party. In 2008, it applied pretty well to Obama, in different ways, I think. But, in 2016, I can't see Hillary or Bernie Sanders really having a cult of personality. On the Repub side... Jeb Bush? Ha ha, no way. Ted Cruz? He can harness a certain anger, and definitely appeals to some religious feeling in some voters, but he is personally so unlikeable that I would not call it a cult of personality. But Trump... if he manages to hang in there, he could fit the bill, for this song.

Marvel's Jessica Jones

The new netflix series was released in entirety on November 20th. Between the last few days, I've marathoned through it, and I just finished.

It's a pretty fucked up show, due to David Tennant's menacing indifference towards his victims. He has the ability to make people do whatever he says, and this gets violent. For instance, he told two of his slaves to cut off each other's faces upon the condition that Jessica doesn't adhere to his blackmail. He has people jump off buildings, dive onto a pair of scissors just like The Dead Zone, and even has people beat each other to death just as a distraction. What a piece of shit!

Netflix does it right. This show has multiple sex scenes, including some lesbian action, as well as lots of drugs. If that doesn't sell it for you, get the hell off Trash Epics!

There is no God.

Here is the proof. Troma, you showed me that video, awhile back, on some thread at the IMDB board. I can't take credit for it.

Movie Franchises that become TV Shows

Honestly... I can say I'm a fan of this. I really get into movie franchises because it's ongoing and you get more fleshed out characters, yada yada. Basically, you just get more out of a series, and if you're anything like me, you get obsessive, and want to follow it.

That's why I love that so many classic movie series'ez are getting (and have gotten) this ongoing treatment.


Shows/Movies

Ash vs. Evil Dead - Evil Dead fans have been waiting for a part 4 forever. Then the remake came out, and may possibly be part 4 in a strange sense. Then we got something better. Bruce Campbell as the heroically incompetent Ash Williams, every Saturday night, for 2 and a half months! FUCK YES!
Bates Motel - A contemporary remake of Psycho? Why?! Wait a second, it's actually pretty damn decent! Vera is charming and Freddie, although very whiny, still has that Batshit Bates quality to him.
Clerks - A 6-episode cartoon with the real Dante and Randal, as well as Alec Baldwin, James Woods, Judge Reinhold, and least importantly, Charles Barkley. Pure Gold.
Fargo - Only speaking for the first season at this point, it was BETTER than the movie, and a sequel in the sense that it follows one loose-end of the movie. Can't wait to marathon the second season...
Freddy's Nightmares - I've only seen 3 episodes, but I've always wanted to see the rest. Robert Englund AS Freddy Krueger, hosting an anthology of Springwood horror stories is all I need. He's not too old to do this shit again! Bring Robert back!
RoboCop: The Series - RoboCop... a hyper-violent cyborg crime drama in the 80s. In the 90s, we'll make it family-friendly! Sort of a Saturday Morning Cartoons-y vibe, but you know what? This wasn't that bad either! The actor was the second best RoboCop of the series!
RoboCop: Prime Directives - 4 movies that felt like sci-fi fanfic, but at least it brought the violence back. Infinitely better than RoboCop 3.
Scream - A conceptual spin-off that has absolutely nothing to do with the movies. That really is the best way to go about it though. It wasn't bad by any means. I still feel very stupid for having watched an MTV show.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles - A tad convoluted for most audiences, but as an aspiring Terminator, I enjoyed fitting the pieces together. It's like a fan-fic show gone nuts, but it was pretty fun, and incredibly faithful to the first two movies. Cancelled for too many filler episodes.
Toxic Crusaders - The family-friendly Troma cartoon! No gore, no sex jokes, and corny as hell. I wish there were more episodes...
Trailer Park Boys - This is technically a follow-up to a few short films, then the 1999 black and white movie. If any of you know me, you'll I'm a huge fan of this show. It's the most TRASH EPIC of any show, ever.
Tremors - There was a sci-fi show starring Burt Gummer as his recurring character in the series, Burt Gummer. Sci-fi fucked this show sideways by airing the episodes out of order, so it was cancelled, but I liked it!
Wet Hot American Summer - A prequel to the 2001 film (set in 1981). While it was filmed nearly 15 years after the original movie, it's set a mere month before the movie, with the SAME CAST. It's goddamn BRILLIANT!


Also

Hannibal - I've never seen any episodes, but most people seemed to like it for being extremely violent. Shrug? I don't care for the movies.


Cumming Soon

Friday the 13th - Announced for CW, so it'll probably suck ass, but I don't know when this shit is gonna happen, so I don't care yet.
Rambo - Just anounced, with Stallone executive producing, about the relationship between him and his also highly trained son. That's what I figure anyway, so I just hope that means Stallone is in the show.
Tremors - Announced with Kevin Bacon starring and executive producing. SOLD!
Wolf Creek - I heard recent news about this, and I'm all for it! Mick Taylor is a great villain.


Do you like 'em or do you love 'em?
What do you want to see?