Demented Death Farm Massacre (1971)

Yeah. Something Weird Video must have missed this one. Believe it or not, this is in fact a Troma movie. Not quite the type of thing these guys usually go after/settle for, but a Troma movie nonetheless. Co-directed by Fred Olen Ray, and originally titled Honey Britches, The Troma Team retitles it Demented Death Farm Massacre, adds a diffrent score (apparently), and inserts scenes involving a 500 year old John Carradine, chiming in every now and then, attempting to act as narrarator, to I guess give this movie a little star power. Not quite the end result. It didn't seem as if he had even seen the movie when rambling on about it. Still pretty cool that old man Carradine graced us with his presence. I'm sure he would have thought this movie sucked. But I don't. I think it's actually pretty good for what it is.

Good, Yes, but certainly not great, as most anyone will figure out within the first few minutes. A whole lot of awkward acting/dialog. Mostly from two bickering couples who are on the run from the law after stealing a bunch of diamonds. The plan is to hide out in Nowhere, Florida, and move in on some unsuspecting hicks, and use their house for a hideout. A hot little bumpkin chick offers the thieves some shelter, and of course Southern hospitality. Let's hope her loud-mouth, religious fanatic, moonshine-sellin' husband isn't feelin' ornery when he gets home. Despite being a dishonest, drunken old prick, Harlan turns out to be easygoing enough, as he doesn't want any trouble. That is, until one of the jewel thieves sets his sights on his affection starved lady. That, he cannot overlook. In fact, it might be time to dust off the ol' pitchfork. And why the hell not? Ol' Harlan just bought her off her pa last week. He doesn't like her much, but ya don't fuck with a man's property. It just ain't Christian!

Alright, well, maybe "good" was a bit of a stretch. Demented Death Farm Massacre is actually quite terrible. I'll admit that, but I stand by my claim of entertainment value. Oh, it's there. Even if it's just mostly some outlandish fat hick yelling at women, or there's always the acting. If schlock ain't your cup of tea, then you probably won't find anything this trashy Hixploitation flick has to offer to be even remotely appealing. This surprisingly entertaining Troma flick (which clearly belongs in the Something Weird Video universe) can be found on the first of seven "Toxie's Triple Terror" set. I was equally supprised as I was delighted to discover that the other two movies on this set, Curse Of The Cannibal Confederates, and Deadly Daphne's Revenge, were also pretty good... well, not exactly good. You know what I mean. 5/10



#Review

Thanksgiving Bloodbath

This is a classic old skit from Saturday Night live, with Dan Aykroyd.
https://screen.yahoo.com/french-chef-000000398.html

What's your TV agenda?

What are you watching on the tube lately?

I'm falling behind on a lot of things, because there's too damn many shows to watch!

Agents of Shield Season 3 - I'm quite behind on this, cuz I think it's getting a little overblown at this point.
American Horror Story: Hotel - I'm falling behind, cuz I'm not very into it. Get rid of Lady Gaga.
Ash vs. Evil Dead Season 1 - Obviously, one of the greatest shows of all time. This show makes me jizz bloody rainbows.
Fargo Season 2 - Haven't even started on this one yet.
Jessica Jones Season 1 - Just came out, so I only just started. Seems promising.
Scream Queens Season 1 - Pretty stupid, but quite entertaining. Falling behind on this too.

Coming soon...
Agent Carter Season 2 - More Marvel shit. Season 1 was decent enough.
DareDevil Season 2 - I can't wait, cuz the first season was amazing, and this one has The Punisher!
It's Always Sunny Season 11 - I fucking LOVE this show.
Trailer Park Boys Season 10 - I fucking LOVE this show. MORE.

Your turn.

Volatile New Feature: Source Code viewer

I don't speak computers. What does this mean in English? Well, err... it means I'm doing something pretty dumb here, but to make it less dumb, I'm narrowing the scope of it: "Valid" users will now be able to view the source code of this very website. And I'm not talking simple HTML source code, but the server-side scripts that control EVERYTHING. You can now look into the guts of Trash Epics.

https://trashepics.com/source/

As I said, very dumb on my part, to give away the mystique of the site's inner-workings, but it's not like this stupid place has given me any money, so I'll continue to be random and experimental with it.

Certain lines of code will be removed from select files for security purposes, and user uploaded files will be blocked for privacy reasons, but everything else is pretty much open-source now. This does NOT mean your private data will be revealed, as all database info will remain private. You're simply seeing the structural template and coding sorcery that makes this place happen.

Every wonder how a forum really works? Or do you think I'm harvesting your personal information to sell on the black market? I'll give you the evidence and let you judge.

I'm being pretty picky with who's allowed to see this, but if you're interested, I may allow it. I'm pretty sure no one's gonna care about any of this, but it's there if you want it!

Strangest Jessica Dream?

First, Jessica makes me a fried egg sandwich, then starts singing Unforgiven 2.
She sounded rather sexay.

Over the phone, she tells Dorian: "I don't like being stalked, mother-fucker."
At this point, she asks me if she can watch my copy of the 2012 film "Savages", but only if she can off herself afterwards.
Upon seeing the film, she opens a crate with a creepshow-looking monster in it, killing her instantly. True story.

What has your employment experience been like?

Sorry in advance if there's already been a thread on this or perhaps this was a question asked in the site introduction thread. Anywho, are you currently working and if so, where are you currently working? Do you like your job? What past jobs have you liked or hated?

Me? I'm currently working in a grocery store, have been for almost 5 years. Not a great job, but could be a lot worse. At a decent enough hourly wage right now and it's WAY better than my previous job, McDonalds. Ugh, working there was horrible. You're essentially paid horribly to be treated horribly working there and any fast food job.

"Ozzy Man" on spandex

Oh... my... God... this may be the greatest YouTube video since the Dawn of Time Itself. Ozzy Man is my new hero.

Metallica confession: I love Re-Load

Yes, I love Re-Load.
I haven't bothered with Load, as the titles alone seem time-wasteful.

But "Slither" is one of my top 30 songs.
Devil's Dance, Better Than You, Carpe Diem Baby, and Prince Charming also rock.

All four ballads on this album are undeniably brilliant.
Unforgiven 2 and Low Man's Lyric are edgy ballads,
"Where the wild things are" is a great power-ballad, and Fixxxer is a memorable ballad.
True story, ladies and gentlemen. n/m

RIP - Don Vito

aka Vincent Margera was the uncle of Bam Margera, and starred as himself in "Viva La Bam", and we'd always be laughing at his expense. I watch all that CKY/Jackass stuff, and I've bonded with the Bam-fam a lot over the years, so I'm fairly upset about this. I remember when Ryan Dunn died in 2011, I cried. I'm definitely not going to cry about Vito, as he was an irritable douchebag most of the time, but he was still hilarious to make fun of, and in that regard, he was adorable.

And now, for a montage of his hilarious moments:


#Obituary

Funny old Captain Morgan commercial

I was just thinking, some people here from countries other than the US might never have seen this. It's one of my all-time favorite commercials. And, I would have to call it trash, so, it fits in well here.