Beelzeboob



I like the way they stuck in the "safe word" from Club Van Der Sexxx, in Eurotrip, under the word Beelzeboob.

Why don't you go love yourself...

... in half with a chainsaw?!? People need to be saying this to one another, far more often than they do. It is a sad commentary on something or other that I hardly ever hear anyone say this. It sickens me.

Discuss.

Friday the 13th Game - Kickstarter

I've never used Kickstarter before, but in the hopes that Kane Hodder wont kill me, I donated $15 for it. At the moment of this post, it has 4 days to raise about $20,000.

Southern Fried Trash: The films of Frederick R. Friedel



The 70's were full of B-Horror flicks. Some of which have managed to gain a certain level of notoriety over the years., which has landed a few of them cult classic status. The films which we are gong to talk about are hardly classics of any type. Prior to the digital age, I suppose they were more like cult obscurities than anything. But ever since Something weird Video released them both on dvd a decade or so ago, I would tend to refer to them more as underseen gems. In the mid 70's, when the Drive-In popularity was starting to dry up, a North Carolina micro-budget filmmaker made two unusual films. One of which was a Horror film called Axe, also known as California Axe Massacre, and Lisa, Lisa. A dreary, mean spirited little movie with an unusual atmosphere and a seemingly non existent budget. The other one being Kidnapped Coed. Also known as House Of Terror and The Kidnapper. A weird crime drama with seemingly no point whatsoever. A film which shares a similar hypnotic atmosphere and mean spirit with its counterpart. A film which, to this day, I find to be a real head scratcher. While watching these films, it should be obvious to just about anyone they came from the same place, and from the same director. Frederick R. Friedel.

Let's cover Axe first. I'd like to start by pointing out that this film was a part of the forever notorious Video nasties list. No idea why. In fact, this very well may be the single dumbest addition to that list. There's a little blood and violence here and there, and one rape, which should be just enough to have gotten it an R-rating. Cannibal Holocaust it is not. But I digress. On to the story. Axe starts out with three scumbag gangsters all hiding in the dark, in some guy's appartment, while they wait for him to return so they can exact their revenge. It is unclear what he did to gain their wrath, but it must have been pretty bad, because one of them ends up putting a cigar out in his mouth. Then they commence to beat him to death. His gay lover, who happened to walk in with him, fraks out and jumps out the window to his death. Before we go any further, let's meet the bad guys.

Steele is the leader of the group. A bully with serious anger issues who prefers his fruit fresh, as we are made aware later on in a scene which involves the ring leader throwing a tantrum in a supermarket. Played by the naturally unlikeable Jack Canon. Lomax is petty thug. And a fat, horny old douchebag rapist. Lomax is more or less Steele's sidekick who mostly enjoys hurting and picking on the defenseless for his jollies. And the bitch of the group. Played by Friedel, himself. Billy, a guy with Chia-pet hair who has obvious regrets about getting involved with this riff raff. Especially since this most recent murder which he had very little to do with. Instead of breaking away from these guys, sensitive Billy simply pouts and sulks about it for literally the entire movie.

After causing unnecessary chaos at the supermarket, the fugitives finally decide to lay low, so, they head out to a farm house. And after forcing their way in, they force their company upon the residents. One of which is a quiet, unhappy-looking teenage girl, named Lisa, who looks after her grandfather who happends to be completely paralyzed and dependant on her for everything. As Steele and Lomax act like assholes, and as Billy whines about it, Lisa is seemigly too depressed to be all that afraid of what is happening. Even taking a break in the bathroom at one point and coming very close to slitting her wrists. As time goes on, it becomes clear that Lisa isn't just depressed. She very well might be a little fucked in the head. Later that night, after everyone has gone to bed, horny old Lomax's urges get the better of him, as he pays Lisa a little visit in her room. Soon thereafter, a raping takes place. And soon after that, Lomax is murdered, chopped up into little pieces and stuffed in a trunk. Lisa quickly gets the sympathetic Billy on her side after he finds the body the next day. She tells him "the other one did it", and is quickly believed, no questions asked. Despite the fact that Lomax and Steele were pals, it is still a far more believeable story than the truth. The truth being that this quiet girl with no personality is psychotic. And knows exactly what she's doing.

At just under 70 minutes, this Harry Novak-dstributed flick doesn't wear out its welcome. However, I wouldn't have minded an extra 10 or 15 minutes of no dialogue and creepy keyboard music. This isn't a very good movie. And I doubt much thought was put into it, but like alot of unknown gems from this era, there's just something unique about it that makes one wonder how and why it ended up like that. The constant mood of this film seems almost parallel to the main character, Lisa. Somber, cold, empty. Even lifeless. Leslie Lee does a great job at portraying a lonely, disconnected shell of a person, who clearly hasn't experienced a great deal of happiness. Seemingly numb on the surface, yet, driven insane by a complete and utter lack of stimulation. Hence the tendency to explode when the shit hits the fan. Atleast that's my interpretation. As for the 3 bad guys, well, even the statue that was grandpa was more interesting. Anyone willing to look past this films limitless flaws might recognize something worthwhie and rare underneath it all. Most would either say it's nothing special, or perhaps just a big bunch of nothing in general. But for those of us who like to seek out the unusual and the more underappreciated side of B-cinema, Axe is very much worth a look. 6/10



Next up is Kidnapped Coed. I originally saw it under the title "House Of Terror" when I rented it years ago from my local Video Warehouse. I still haven't the faintest idea as to why it would have ended up with such a title, because it's not a Horror movie, and nor is there any indication as to which house has terror going on in it. I guess Kidnapped Coed is now the official title since that's what's on the something Weird dvd. That title is only a slight improvement, although, there are no coeds in this movie either. But now, I'm just nitpicking. We have much more important things to discuss. Like how weird and confusing this movie can be.

Eddie Matlock needs fast cash. Alot of it. So, after seemingly putting no thought into it, he goes off and kidnaps some rich guy's daughter for a ransom. As this awkward looking chick, Sandra Morely, gets into her car, she feels a gun press up to the back of her head, with Eddie's voice commanding her to drive. And he's kind of a dick about it. After stopping at a pay phone to give Sandra's father the message, and to let him know how much money it'll take to get his daughter back, the two of them hold up in a sleazy hotel where right off the bat, things don't feel quite right. After a pitiful escape attempt by Sandra, someone claiming to be a bellboy comes to the door. The guys who they originally thought were running the place, busted in and turned out to be ass hole rapists. From the way it seems, these guys killed whoever was actually running the hotel prior to Eddie and Sandra's arrival, just so they could wait for a woman to show up and rape her. Even the reward she offers them, to get her away from Eddie, isn't good enough to cancel this rape. I have no idea what they planned to do after that, but Eddie saves Sandra by shooting these guys in their dicks. And this would be our first hint that Eddie isn't all bad

As we stop by a pay phone again, We are clued in to why this kidnapping happened in the first place. Eddie is checking in on his mentally disturbed mother in a nursing home, insisting to her that the only reason he can't visit more often is because he's busy making money in order to keep her in there. On top of that and the dick shooting, and the fact that he's obviously feeling guilty, it's pretty much confirmed that Eddie's not so bad. But he still wants his money, so, Sandra's going nowhere. Instead, the two of them find some property out in the country and hold up in a barn and just sit around and brush their teeth, and give eachother awkward looks in what seems like an hour of filler with no dialogue. After spending the night, they can't leave the next morning because Eddie's car is somehow overheated. So, they go around looking for hospitable hicks that can spare some water. And all they get is rudeness and death threats. Someone finally helps them. A rambling old Santa Claus guy gives them lunch and lets them stick around his pad for the day and have a nap, The two randomly start getting it on, which makes the old man snap. When they try to leave, Father Christmas gets way out of hand with his pitchfork and forces Eddie to do something he clearly doesn't want to do. Soon thereafter the movie should probably have ended. But instead, it plods along for another 15 minutes where we witness the bond that has formed between Eddie and Sandra due to their hellish couple of days. And it all leads to a n ammusingly ironic ending. And a dark one.

Alot of things don't add up with this one. The scene with the rapists was weird and out of nowhere, and Dr. Giggles showing up, I sure didn't expect. It may just be me, but nerdy looking Sandra somehow manages to get hotter and hotter as the movie progresses, She has countless opportunities to get away but never seems to try very hard to follow through. Possibly because she's not sure she really wants to go home. Perhaps all this chaos is an improvement over her boring life. Was she into Eddie from the beginning? We don't know. We never really get to know this quiet young lady, or what motivates her. Eddie on the other hand, is an open book. The villain turned sympathetic figure once we learn he truth. A sad story of a man who's been forced to go against his own moral code in order to protect someone he loves. And all the trouble and evil they come across is a good indication that this is the wrong path. Or maybe this was all a bunch of sh!t that ended up the way it ended up due to someone putting very little thought into the story. We don'tknow. And we may never know. As much as I love it, this is a very bad movie we have here. Or atleast a bad story. A movie with plenty of potential. A movie with some very nice cinematography. Appearances by some odd looking, random people who probably never appeared in anything before or after this. Many qualities that make this film very much one of a kind. 6/10



But there are two of them. One, a micro-budget Drive-In Horror flick with a small cult following. The other, an eerily similar, confusing crime drama that leaves more questions than answers. These are the films of Frederick R. Friedel. Just two of the many forgotten B-Horror flicks that made the 70's so great. I've recently heard that something Weird Video has now lost the rights to these films, which have now been picked up by Severin, who now have plans for a double feature blu-ray release. And I'll definitely be picking that one up. I'm counting on some audio commentary for atleast one of these movies to finally shed a little light on why they are the way they are. I hate to ruin the mystery of movies like this, but can't help myself. In closing, I would highly recommend Axe to anyone interested in low-budget southern Exploitation of eras past. And I would recommend Kidnapped Coed to those who are intrigued by WTF cinema that should never have happened. But as someone who loves them both equally, I recommend them both. best watched as a double feature!

The Gold Standard for saying "Yoouuuu bastard."

No one can do it better than John Cleese. It's at 3:10 in this clip.

Romance!

...is the thing of fairy tales. I don't believe in it, because people don't understand it as well as the movies do. What romances in film do you find the most endearing?

I'll start with a few that I can remember...

The Terminator - Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor! He came across time for her! I couldn't give a fuck for them in Genisys though, where they had no chemistry at all.

The Crow - Eric Draven and Shelley Webster. They don't show much of it in the film, but it's the driving force of the whole rape/revenge scenario, and it has a genuine stylish, morbid authenticity to it.

Horns - I'm not gonna lie: this movie surprised me. Visual, bizarre, fantastical, and heart-filled.

The Butterfly Effect - Assman Ketchup really knocked it out of the park with this one. I can't tell you how much I loved this movie when it came out.

Wicker Park - A surprisingly tense romance, or rather tense search for the romance that got away.


The more I think about this topic, the more I realize that I don't give a fuck about any film romance outside of these few. I guess love really is a fake piece of shit, am I right? •canned laughter•

Anyone have a blog?

Something outside of Trash Epics that they post their random thoughts on? Blogspot? Wordpress?

I was toying with RSS feeds again, and I've added some of our user's blogs to the TE news feed. Namely @damn_cyborg and @deadandburied. All this does is simply link to the posts of these unaffiliated blogs so they'll get more exposure. If for some stupid reason you don't want your blog linked, I'll remove it.

Perhaps the greatest movie I've ever seen...

...in my entire life. And when I say "great", I mean absolutely horrible in every way. Loaded with stock footage, horrible special effects, awful dubbing, retarded fight choreography, and tons of CGI blood, this movie is pure bullshit. But if you love poop as much as I do, watch the full movie on youtube.

(Not) directed by Saint James Street James, the brilliant mind who brought us Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury.
https://trashepics.com/forum/460/

How was your October Challenge?

https://trashepics.com/post/45/15/

I'd mostly watched a bunch of films I've already seen a dozen times before, and several times during the month at that. All my first-time viewings were pretty lame too, but that's to be expected when a chunk of them are Children of the Corn sequels. 😄

The only FTVs I had worth mentioning are:

I Spit on Your Grave 3 - Unconventional sequel that does something new with the franchise. Not necessarily anything great, but still pretty damn entertaining at that. There were, however, too many fake/dream sequences. Fuck that shit.

Would You Rather - Probably my favorite of the FTVs. Just a really dark, twisted competition among strangers. Survival of the fittest, at its worst. It's great to see Jeffrey Combs as the lead villain, and even greater to see Robb Wells of Trailer Park Boys fame try to be serious. Don't know if it worked though, but he did try! Very cringe-worthy scenes.

Tales of Halloween - Nothing great, but still a film loaded with atmosphere of our favorite holiday. If one segment sucks, just stick around and you'll find one that you enjoy.

YOUR TURN!

Necronos (2O1O) -TrashEpics Rec Challenge Viewing!



I hadn't known it, but apparently this is a thing. The low budget Deutsch gore epic, an effects-driven extension of the slasher (??) wherein characters wander into frame simply to get disfigured in some disgusting way... these cruel movies must be labors of love since their independent crews go to such extremes to convey borderline-comic brutality on clearly homespun budgets. It feels like a sub-subgenre totally distant to me and about which I'm totally unqualified to even interpret one random flick like this, far let alone evaluate it. I need to at least come to terms with it existing in the first place.

If such movies get more grandiose and ambitious in their set-up than Necronos, I'll be honestly surprised. It aspires to convey the battle of Otherworldly Evil vs.Earthly Innocence (not necessarily "Good"). It starts with a protracted introduction set in some middle ages or something, which right away reminded me of the nihilistic epics Thomas Zupko used to direct for Extreme Associates back in the early 2000s (most like the black plague themed In the Days of Whore, for instance, in which a leper's penis falls off in a raped woman's rectum). That the over-lit videography sits unfavorably even next to Zupko's hideous, heinous stuff, which was shot 10 years prior, and was porno, didn't offer much to my expectations. But maybe it's all in one's expectations. Some subgenres do seem to approach "film-making" more similarly to pornographers churning their delicious gooey smut than to directors who "create" "art." I am not knocking anybody, just musing.

Anyway, the presentation of this movies back-story was hilarious. You see these big blocks of calligraphy for a few seconds which narrate each following scene. There was barely enough time to read it all and it was like "books on film," as if mise en scene didn't exist, as if the story couldn't be told in any filmic way. It really gave me a hint of the director's concern with approaching big-c Cinema as a medium for ideas, moods, stories, sensory blasts, erections, whatever, what-have-you, all the good stuff that makes movies worthwhile. So apparently there was once a warlock named Necronos, in league with the devil (Hail Satan, by the way) to use an army of zombies that will bring darkness to the world of mankind. One thing I don't get is, why does Satan always suck so badly at taking over the world? We're just people, after all. He's the Prince of Darkness. Anyway, I was actually hoping the whole movie would be told in this format— all of the exposition bluntly spelled out in between the blustery blood sequences. That would have been pretty novel and amusing to me.

But then it's on to the present day, where everyone, everyone, from chubbsy-wubbsies relaxin' with a fishing pole to naked babes practicing the ars amatoria, are getting torn apart, gored apart and downright impolitely killed. Necronos is still around, using his devil-derived henchmen, still plotting with Scratch to conquer Earth. Which, it should be easy; they're immortal and people aren't. I couldn't tell if the movie was supposed to be bad, but the tight story was easy to follow and pretty much guided most of the sleazy sequences (which is the same kind of praise you'd give a porno). I liked the set design of Satan's domain and the simple black make-up was fairly menacing (Necronos brings to mind Darth Maul, especially as he refers to Beezelbub as "my master"). I'm guessing some of the gore effects and kill scenes are impressive, if you're into that kind of stuff. I noticed a woman getting impaled on a spikey pole, Cannibal Holocaust style (but more explicit). There's a somewhat silly meat grinder and lots of beheadings. In the end, the Devil spits some wisdom, "Love defeats all pain," the demonic invasion begins and we're set up for a sequel.

If I'd never seen a horror movie before, all of this would disturb and scare the sh!t out of me. Partly within the story's context, and mostly without it— just that it exists... that even amidst a surplus of real tragedies and massacres someone decides "ahoy, it'll be fun for us to make this," and that it is. Also, this movie is long. I hate long-ass movies. I doubt anyone sits down and really watches it intently for over 2 hours straight. There must be a sub-sub-cultural buddy experience associated with gore flick consumption that I'm just totally missing. I watched half of it while taking a bath, with the speed accelerated slightly on VLC media player, and even then I was like "guh, I get the gist."

Tromafreak picked it for the TrashEpics Rec challenge. I'm hopeful that someday, me taking in this movie amounts to something, somehow, if only as an awareness of stuff I'd never have experienced otherwise. I'm convinced that Scummy movies often bear an actual value, though in some cases I'm still trying to figure out what and how. So it wouldn't be fair of me to call it bad or dumb, even though it is. My own tastes in movies are so specific that when the subject of movies comes up with civilians in real life conversations, I've found it's easier for me just to say "You know, I don't even really like watching movies very much" to just avoid the topic even though watching movies is actually one of my dominant hobbies. Earlier, I compared gore movies with porn movies and the analogy is obvious and old-- and I did not mean it disparagingly. In each, gutteral releases are usually set up by minimal plots. It's always interesting though when the primal sensationalism is uniquely framed. Was that the case in this movie? I don't know, this kinda stuff is new to me. I will just say that while watching sex mostly makes me happy with the world, violence and murder make me uneasy. A number of my recs for the challenge reflect this difference.