Drugs

Anyone a fan? I'm hoping to try some acid soon, myself...

Survey: Your all-time Favorite Movie

You know, that one movie that no matter how many times you see it, you get sucked in every goddamn time?!

My answer?
Terminator 2: Judgment Day

I've watched this movie more than any other movie. It's gotta be at least 100 times, as I've been watching it over and over again since I was 3. It's also the greatest sequel of all time (right up there with Blood Feast 2). A damn near perfect film in which every follow-up has completely missed the point, leaving this film on top. The latest entry was fun, but completely lacked such an emotionally harrowing story in favor of CGI and kiddie-catering, along with one horrible actor who will not be named.

Name your favorite movie ever, and why.

Favorite Goats of the last decade



or



I am more partial to the one on the bottom

#goatsthedescentletth

Are you a "christian" horror fan?

Those ideas don't seem to connect.

I like certain christian websites, music, and movies. But no, I'm not christian.
Side note: One of my Christian cousins has always believed Criss Angel made a deal w/the devil.
True story.

The Gore Gore Girls (1972)



All good things must come to an end. And in 1972, Herschell Gordon Lewis, the creator of the gore film, and innovator of graphic violence in cinema, had his last hurrah. Well, atleast his last one for a very, very long time. More on that, later, but unaware to Lewis at the time, this would be it for his active film career. And despite my opinions on this film, I have to admit, the old man went out with a bang. The Gore Gore Girls is a first in several different areas. This is Herschell's first gore film which has profanity other than a "damn" here and there, as well as the first to show nudity, and acknowledge sexuality. An obvious change in the times. Also, this was the first and last film Herschell Lewis submitted to the MPAA for a rating. And for his trouble, he was given a big, fat X, which he could have applied himself. But anyway. Yeah. Sounds like something I would really dig, but it's just not. In fact, it leaves quite the bad taste in my mouth.

Herschell's "This is a business, not art" outlook on directing is heard loud and clear throughout the entirety of this obnoxious, substance-lacking, cheeze-fest. None of his movies are meant for superior brains. But this one especially seems like it's intended for only the most dimwitted of trash lovers. A bit of a precursor, if not inspiration for the modern Troma film. And of course, a pretty simple story. Strippers at a sleazy club have been getting slaughtered by a maniac at an alarming rate. A hot reporter enlists the help of private eye, Abraham Gentry, who is supposedly good enough to be a total douchebag at all times and get away with it. The douchier he gets, the more the reporter wants to blow him. Uninterested and unimpressed with pretty much everything but himself, and only concerned with getting paid, the douchebag tries losing her several times. Even going so far as to get her wasted so she'll fuck off, but this tenacious lady wants some of that, and hopes to help in this investigation if at all possible. Meanwhile, we are treated to some rather inventive murders, one of which includes the killer snipping off the tips of a woman's nipples, and filling up 2 glasses with milk. One of which comes out chocolatey. Of course it does...

While I consider this to be Herschell Gordon Lewis' most overrated (gore) film, I can understand why so many considers this the ultimate in HGL gore. Sure, it's got alot of that. And it's a little harsher than usual, and there's a noticable bit of puns, toilet humor and a self awareness not present in Herschell's earlier gore epics. Sounds great. It really does, but something about this movie just rubs me the wrong way. The shit acting, I can of course handle. But the dialogue seems to have been written by a blithering idiot, and the characters, as well as the actors themselves, were far from likable. Especially that main character, Abraham Gentry. A smartass dick smoker with a snarky one liner waiting every 10 seconds. A character seemingly meant to be a smooth, pimp daddy who is far too badass to give this hot chick the time of day. Whoever wrote this garbage obviously didn't realize they were making this guy out to be more of a homo than anything else. But such stupidity does add a couple of "so bad it's good" cool points. That, along with the unusually painful looking kills, make this one far from unwatchable.

It's too bad HGL decided to take a 30 year break after getting into the advertising business. Yet, come the 80's, Herschell's old gore films would gain a new level of notoriety from a new generation, as well as from the old one, which made him the legend he is today. With the help of Mike Vraney and Something weird Video, Herschell's massive catalogue would finally get the long overdue vhs (and eventually dvd/blu-ray) releases they deserved. A preservation project the late, great Vraney would do for the memories of many great, and not so great directors of forgotten old school B-movies. The films of Herschell Gordon Lewis would become the crown jewels of Something weird. And in 2002, Herschell went on to make his first jewel in 30 years, with the long awaited sequel to Blood Feast. Blood Feast 2 All You Can Eat. A masterpiece I would much rather remember him for. And he's made another one since then, and has another one on the way. Good 'ol H.G. may be older than dirt, and he's made alot of terrible movies, but it feels so good to have him back! 4/10



#Review

Read this.

One day you will die.

Night Of Dark Shadows: End Of An Era



Film adaptations of TV shows rarely work. And vice versa. It's just two different worlds of mainstream entertainment which have their own separate formulas. But to attempt a big screen version of a soap opera, in my humble opinion, is usually a lost cause. Dan Curtis, creator of the popular gothic horror soap, Dark Shadows, attempted a film adaptation a year earlier, with House Of Dark Shadows. A retelling of the original storyline of Vampire, Barnabas Collins. The show's most popular character. A good movie. A great movie, some may say. But does it really do the show, and more specifically, that storyline, justice? Not really. It's too many episodes to cover, and to anyone who is familiar with the show, the movie should seem very rushed in comparison. Like I said. A good movie. But it's flaws are there, and they're obvious, but alot of them couldn't be helped. Fast forward a year later. Dark Shadows has been cancelled. But the movie was a hit. And I think we all know by now what happens any time a Horror film gains even a glimmer of popularity.

With the constant stress of the show no longer holding him back, Dan Curtis gathers up as many DS cast members he can and makes plans for yet another movie. Since the first one centered on Barnabas, it's only common sense that this new movie would revolve around the second most popular character, Quentin Collins. Although, Quentin's story would not be a recreation of anything. Merely a Dark Shadowsy story that might remind one of several of the show's storylines. I tend to think this was the right decision as it eliminates the possibility of the movie having to be molded after a series of events it couldn't possibly live up to.

Filmed in the same eerie old mansion as House. This was a fine choice for location, but it ain't Collinwood, but whatever. It isn't clear as to whether or not the events of the first movie actually happened from this movie's point-of-view, or if this is a stand alone story, but Collinwood is currently abandoned, which makes me think it is acknowledged. Quentin Collins, and his wife, Tracy, have inherited Collinwood and are on their way to Collinsport, Maine to collect and to live a life of luxury. And Quentin, being the painter, is looking forward to much inspiration amongst the beautifully dreary scenery. Before the couple is even settled in, the first glimpse of weirdness comes from the housekeeper. Or whatever she is. Just some person who takes care of stuff, I guess. Grayson Hall plays Carlotta Drake, who seems to know a bit much about this house, and is slightly too invested in how things go. Also, Quentin is being plagued by nightmares. Reliving memories that aren't his own. Or are they? Quentin is remembering things that happened to a man named Charles Collins, who lived at Collinwood over 150 years ago.

Charles was married to Laura Collins, but fooled around with his brother Gabriel's wife, Angelique. A witch. We witness the events which led to Angelique's hanging by a witch hunting Reverend, as well as Charles' own demise at the hands of his brother. The more Quentin has these dreams, the less he seems like Quentin. He becomes cold, distant and temperamental. He attacks and berates Tracy without provocation. We find out the ghost of Angelique is involved. She wants Quentin to be Charles, and she wants Tracy gone. This may not be the same Angelique from the show, but anyone familiar knows what Angelique wants, Angelique gets.

While Night Of Dark Shadows may not have the same problems as the first movie, that doesn't mean it doesn't have its own problems. One big problem that not only killed this movie, but the chances for a third one, is the fact that a whopping 45 minutes was ordered to be cut. Still an hour an a half long even with the missing scenes, the film was stripped of many conversations and situations which gave the film much more of a point. as well as the characters depth. Still eerie, haunting, atmosphereic and creepy, but something is clearly missing from this movie. Something about it is so empty, so lonely. As if it's in need of an extra main character. No. It's merely missing 45 minutes of story. That's all.

Still very much worthwhile for a Dark Shadows fan or a fan of stuff like Burnt Offerings. An absolutely gorgeous score by Robert Cobert, which is what really saves this one for me. As I said, there was to be a third Dark Shadows movie, but after dealing with the frustration of this one, and probably a growing boredom with the world of Dark Shadows in general, Dan Curtis decided to move on to non-Dark Shadowsy projects. As with the show, fans will always be forced ask the "what if" questions about this movie. That is, as long as the film in its entirety is without release. It's not perfect by any means, but for the time being, Dan Curtis' final chapter in the Dark Shadows story will have to do. 7/10



#Review

Phantasm 5 (Ravager) news????

Has anyone heard anything about this? IMDB says it will be released on Halloween, but I haven't seen anything that supports that claim.

Yo, where are the white women at?

Hell Of The Living Dead (1980)



Italian Exploitation of the 70's and 80's can be a bit iffy. Sometimes boring, for the most part, entertaining. Usually, in a "so bad, it's good" kind of way. And of course, the inevitable ripping off of popular ideas from far more creative and talented non-Italians. I recently watched a film called Hell of The Living Dead. AKA, Virus, this cheesy zombie epic was directed by none other than Bruno Mattei, using the name Vincent Dawn. Mattei is responsible for some of the worst, and some of the most entertaining Itallian trash to come out of this era. This one is pretty bad, but I like to think of it more as entertaining than anything else. Say what you will about this movie. Entertainment value is one thing it has going for it. Gore, titties and stupid dialogue. These are the things Hell is made of.

After a chemical plant accident unleashes a deadly virus on the world, a SWAT team heads to New Guinea to investigate. What they find is walking corpses. But shortly after running into a hot reporter, they're all taken in by a primitive tribe when she gets naked for them and puts on a little face paint. These scenes which involve said tribe kind of makes this a cannibal movie as well as a zombie flick. Just sayin'. The jungle hospitality is short-lived as the living dead make their presence known after eating several cannibals. As the group ditches their new friends, they make their way through a very stock footage-filled jungle, taking an unusual amount of time to figure out that shooting zombies in the head is the only way to kill them. One guy either already insane, or getting there due to all this madness, sees fit to have a little fun with the extra slow-moving ghouls, and tease them, obviously setting up for the moment it all blows up in his face. As this group gets closer to salvation, they also get closer to finding out the truth behind all this. Knowledge they may soon regret learning.

Alot of fuss gets made over Lucio Fulci's Zombi 2, which is a sequel to nothing, by the way. While this one here hasn't gotten a fraction of the appreciation as well as the legendary status that it deserves. I'm not sure what makes that other one so great, other than who directed it. Not that Fulci was all that great, himself. But Bruno Mattei isn't quite as respected in his field, as he's known for nothing but trash, as opposed to Fulci, who put out some classy stuff, early on. but Mattei already earned my respect with such mean-spirited exploitation cheese-fests as Women's Prison Massacre and Rats: Night Of Terror. Both bad, both entertaining. But this trash epic takes the cake.

And that's not quite all it takes, as this movie shamelessly flaunts a stolen score from movies such as Beyond The Darkness, Contamination, and get this, Dawn of The fucking Dead. Yeah. That's pretty sad, Bruno. Such a choice of movies to rip off more or less pigeonholed Hell into being seen as a poor man's Dawn Of The Dead. Which is a shame because it deserves better than to be in any movie's shadow. I'm not going to play it off like Hell Of The Living Dead is anywhere in the same league as Dawn, but it can be just as entertaining, if not more, at times. Hell Of The Living Dead is non-stop fun. Gory, ridiculous, apocalyptic, and just all over the place with stupidity and dumbass quotes that'll leave you scratching your head hours after it's over. A 100 minute epic just waiting to be discovered by more fans of trashy Italian cinema, which should be seen as essential for most. Highly recommended! 7/10



#Review