Flowers (2015)






Flowers is a abstract surreal horror film from Phil Stevens. Basically it's about six females waking up in the crawlspace underneath their killer's house. My perspective of the movie is it's the women remembering their lives and deaths. The audience gets a glimpse of both. Flowers also has no dialogue, but that in no way hinders the movie. In my opinion the lack of dialogue might even help because it makes the viewer create scenerios in their head. The girls have flashbacks of their lives and hold pictures of their past close to them. The girls are trying to figure out what has happened to them and then come to the realization they are dead. And the flashbacks they have of their deaths are gruesome. One girl sees her dead body being cut up and then the killer having sex with it. Each girls story is told, but through a weird and strange way.

Flowers is a very unique and compelling horror film and my review doesn't do it justice. 8.5/10

A giallo/ish shocker: The Inflicted (2012)

"An american giallo" is the best possible description, and I was extremely pleased with this one.

Atmospheric and violent, this film traces the exploits of a med student who witnesses his sister's death
(as a child) at the start of the film.

This is apparently all he needed to go on a murderous rampage, but there's style to spare in this senseless
horror film filmed largely in my state (Texas).

Side Note: The ending is quite masterful, as subtle as it happens to be. 7/10 from me.

Do Your Family Members Look Like any Porn Stars?

I have a cousin resembling a shorter John Holmes, facially (I've never seen his cock).

My sister looks too much like Wifey from "Wifey's World."

There was one porn I was watching once, I don't know the name of it. It had this one girl whose name I don't know but she was getting all crazy into it. Unfortunately, I had to turn it off. She looked like too much like pictures I'd seen of my mother before I was born.

Not a family member, but I also have a friend who looks like a twin of Richie Calhoun, a current pornstar.

School of the Holy Beast (Japan, 1974)



"After the mysterious death of her mother, a young woman chooses to enter a convent to find out what happened. As soon as the door closes to the nunnery, the nuns start torturing the woman. Also, the woman has to deal with a God-hating archbishop and a lesbian mother superior."

Wow! Hand on heart I think this is contender for the best nunsploitation film! Other favorites are "Killer Nun" & "Flavia the Heretic"

What I like about this film is the beautiful cinematography that reminds me of Giallo classics.
Also despite being pure exploitation it has class...if am perfectly honest I was slightly disappointed because its so well made LOL! I signed up for some twisted depravity.

Any fooking way crack on and watch this!



#Asian

Is this someone from this board?

Come on... out with it! 'Fess up.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/police-investigating-after-images-of-cloaked-figure-go-viral/

Andy Warhol's Trash (1970)



As far as the films of Paul Mossissey go, I only really love two of them. Flesh For Frankenstein and Blood For Dracula. These two mean spirited, 70's exploitation versions of the popular Horror tales include what is most likely the best performance by not only Udo Kier, but Joe Dallesandro as well. They're great. Very entertaining films. But a couple years prior, director, Paul Morrissey made a not-so great film. He actually made alot of them. This one is a movie called Trash. A highly improvised, more raw, less funny, but equally sleazy version of an old school John Waters epic. A movie which has little to no story, and is completely devoid of a point. Basically, Trash is trash.

Andy Warhol's Trash stars Joe Dallesandro as an 18 year old heroin addicted deadbeat, who just goes around and hangs out with women, who all wish to get fucked in the mouth by the very indifferent Joe. Indifferent due to too much Heroin use. Indifferent because he can't get it up anymore due to the same reason. Again. the guy is supposed to be 18. Yeah. Whatever. After the opening scene, which includes a pretty cute female friend failing to get Joe a hardon with her mouth, Joe makes his way back to the shitty apartment, where he sometimes lives with a hideous woman (played by a hideous transsexual) with a massive overbite, who only thinks of itself, and its own sexual needs, which includes sucking dick and only sucking dick. Joe didn't have anything for the cute one. So, you already know he's not gonna budge for this goddamn thing. Joe's "girlfriend", Holly (played by Holly Woodlawn), just kind of puts up with Joe and lets him sleep there because he's good looking and has an above average cock. A cock that doesn't seem to work any more. So, Holly's patience is wearing thin with her boy toy, because he mainly contributes nothing to their hopeless, poverty stricken lives.

https://media.gettyimages.com/photos/stars-of-andy-warhols-trash-jane-forth-and-joe-dallesandro-in-1970-picture-id481659703?s=2048x2048 Joe continues to come and go as he pleases. Looking for heroin, hanging out with chicks whom he tries to get heroin money from. He comes across one weird chick who's looking for some acid. He doesn't get very far with this one, and ends up attempting to rape her out of frustration after she annoys him and blows his high, but fails miserably, and gets made fun of for his trouble. Joe then heads back to his girlfriend's place and sits around, staring into space while Holly drugs and sucks off some teenager. Bored with this, Joe heads out again and breaks into someone's house with the intention of robbing them, but immediately gets caught by some dude's wife. A babbling jackass of a woman who seemingly wants Joe to stick around just so she can have someone to talk at. The husband seems to be cool with it. He's probably eager to talk to someone besides her, as he seems incredibly annoyed with the wife, who's either crazy or a complete idiot. After they give Joe a bath, they gather around and watch in amazement as he shoots up, but quickly freaks out and kicks him out of the house when they get the idea he's overdosed, when he only just wanted to lay down for a minute.

Joe heads back home, and tries getting some shut eye on the floor next to the bed where Holly is fucking itself with an empty bottle. He promises that he'll be able to get it up soon. And the very next day, he does, when Holly's pregnant sister visits and seduces him when Holly's out hunting for garbage. They are of course caught in the act by a very offended Holly who probably still has dried jizz on her mouth from the day before. Will this fuck up Holly and Joe's plans for moving up in the world and getting on welfare, or will Holly keep it all "bottled in" and forget about it like she probably should? I see her point that it's offensive that he can never get it up for her, but has no problem sticking it to her sister, who Holly herself has fucked in the past. Yet, Holly is a hideous dicksucker with an Adam's Apple, who deserves to be cheated on, and even shat upon in my opinion. But Joe sadly never does that.

Trash is Paul Morrissey's second installment of a trilogy which spanned from the late 60's to the early 70's, along with a movie called Flesh, and one called Heat. The former is an experimental film which is even less coherent than this one, and the latter, by far being the best of the three. But most B-movie fans will likely prefer Trash over the other two. Joe Dallesandro's lack of acting skills in Trash actually does him a service this one time, as it makes his character's indifferent, spaced out persona more believeable. Because if you've seen Joe in anything else, he just seems like that guy who either doesn't care about anything or simply doesn't have much going on in his head. However, I got to say something about Joe's physique. It looks great! The thing is, he's playing a junkie. And the guy portraying him looks like he hits the weights regularly. Just sayin'. And on to Holly Woodlawn. Believe it or not, Holly Woodlawn is actually pretty convincing as a real woman. He/she just comes off as a really, really ugly one. This movie can get a bit tedious to sit through, but does have some outrageously trashy moments which make it worth it. And for fans of weird, sleazy cinema from the 70's, you just might have a good time with this Trash Epic! 5/10



#Review

How horror fans break up happy couples

This probably brought about the end of this couple's relationship, but... I'm sorry, it's still frickin' funny.
https://imgur.com/gallery/C4hJHDX

wait, it's not working... here, this is the URL, I think... you figure it out.
https://imgur.com/gallery/C4hJHDX

I'm trying to think of a good caption. Either "Ladies and gentlemen: I give you the 3.1 second 40 yard dash." or "And there are those who say... he's still accelerating... somewhere out there in the darkness... even... right now... tonight."

Ghosts

So I've never thought ghost were real I've seen some stuff I could never explain but never thought it was a ghost doing it thou.
To me most of this video looks like fake shit but some of it had me thinking what the hell is that.

And now, a great moment from The Jerk

There are, sadly, so few scenes in (relatively) modern cinema, in which white people prove that they black, by suddenly becoming Asian. Here is one of those scenes.

Elite Watches #1

Just a brief rundown of my horror watches of the week.

Nightlight (2015)

Don't let the title fool you, this movie is not about a child with a monster in his closet or a killer nightlight possessed by the spirit of Horace Pinker. Nightlight is the story of some teenage kids who decide to play a nighttime hide and seek game in some woods. Local legend has it that the woods are evil and make people commit suicide, and what better time to play in these woods than after the suicide of a classmate? The film is told like a found footage film, except instead of a camcorder, the viewer sees through the POV of a flashlight. This choice of POV could have been used in a fresh way, but the director decided instead to just have it flicker like hell when it is convenient and then work just fine the rest of the time. Did I mention this flashlight once belonged to the teen who did himself in? The acting fell somewhere in the middle, with the directing fall below par. Nothing especially original to be seen here, but it isn't necessarily bad either. 5/10

Digging Up The Marrow (2014)

Adam Green (Frozen, Hatchet) comes to us with a new mockumentary film, which he both directed and stars in as himself. In the film Green meets with fan William Decker (Ray Wise) who is convinced that Green is just the guy to help him expose the truth. The truth being that there are real life monsters living in a parallel world under the Earth's surface. A place he fittingly named The Marrow. The film plays out very well, with Green making for a likeable protagonist, and Wise playing across from him as an unstable conspiracist. This is one of those films that I find to either love or loathe, more often it being the latter. However, Green delivers a strong film that gave more than I expected. The film does offer up some typical cliches you can expect in this genre, but finishes strong as a film with a lot of heart. One of my top viewings of the year. 8/10

7500 (2014)

Ryan Kwanten, Amy Smart, Jamie Chung, Jerry Ferrara and Scout Taylor-Compton star in this forgettable horror/thriller about an airline flight that experiences supernatural occurrences while flying over the Pacific ocean. The exact nature and origins of these happenings is a mystery that will be revealed throughout the film. While having a strong, likeable cast, the film lacks heart. The characters are all flawed (in a good way) and this could have made for a decent supernatural thriller with an ensemble cast. What went wrong here was the writer and director clearly wanting two different types of movies and the end result is a bit of a mess. Director Taskashi Shimizu (The Grudge) clearly attempted to mix Japanese style horror with American drama/thriller. The end result is a sadly a perfect example of why these two groups should not merge. That is not to say the film does not have some strong points on their own, but just don't deliver together. 5/10

Exists (2014)

Exists is, quite simply, a found footage movie about a group of friends in the middle of the woods who find themselves struggle to survive against a ravenous Bigfoot. I'm going to spill the truth tea here by saying that almost every Bigfoot horror movie is extremely underwhelming. I went in with no expectations, which is what I always try to do. The premise alone was almost enough to make me want to put this movie off, but decided to just go for it. The characters don't offer much with personality and we don't get to know any of them, sans one. The directing was surprisingly very decent, with a lot of good shots. The film switches between multiple cameras throughout, mostly for convenience, which works with some surprises in the film. The creature itself is one of the more realistic interpretations that I've seen in film thus far, so kudos to that. As a normal film it would play out as average, but I feel the film deserves more credit for it being a decent Bigfoot movie. 7/10