Bloodsucking Freaks (1976)



Anyone who is familiar with Troma knows that Bloodsucking Freaks (AKA The Incredible Torture Show) is by far the most vile, most depraved, most pitch black evil thing those guys have to offer. A film that shows us exactly how rotten this world we live in can be. But this is a special film, as it somehow manages to successfully sneak in a ton of humor. Successfully, meaning this is done in a way that is actually funny without decreasing the disturbing nature of it all. In my opinion, that's what makes Bloodsucking Freaks so great. Well, that and the fact that, at one point, a midget fucks a freshly severed head right in the mouth.

This dismal, yet oddly humorous tale is about a bad man named Sardu, who is one the most despicable, power-hungry individuals you will ever come across. This guy runs his underground "Theater of the Macabre" in Hell's Kitchen where he and his eager assistant, Ralphus, torture and mutilates kidnapped, naked women in front of audiences. All this, a front for their slavery ring. Except the extremely gullible audience thinks this is all just a show with top notch FX. And that all these lades aren't being slaughtered for realz. Those who die for the show get off light. Some are made into mindless slaves. Some are starved. Some are electrocuted, decapitated, de-footed. Some are used as dart boards, toilets, or just for Ralphus' amusement. In the Theater Of The Macabre, Sardu is God. And anyone who gets out alive will only become someone elses slave. And whether that's a good or bad thing is unclear.

They even managed to throw in a storyline. Sardu decides he wants to add a little class and legitimacy to his theater, and has Ralphus kidnap local ballerina, Natasha De Natalie so she can perform in his up and coming show. Asking her first might have been a better idea, but Sardu doesn't have time or patience for bullshit, and has pretty much decided right off the bat that this thing WILL go down exactly the way he wants. Unfortunately, now that they got her, she's being an unreasonable little bitch and refuses to dance for her kidnapper. But Sardu and his midget companion have ways of persuading those who will not cooperate. And if threats of dismenberment don't work, then there's always brainwashing. Either way, SHE SHALL DANCE!!!

Some people seem to think that Bloodsucking Freaks is a bit uncalled for. Something about promoting, and possibly even making light of cruelty towards women. I'd love nothing more than to come up with some clever argument, disproving this theory, but I suspect there isn't one. Sardu and Ralphus ain't nice to the ladies, and that's just the way it is. In a strange way, Bloodsucking Freaks was ahead of it's time. You just didn't see extreme Horror mixed with such humor in those days. But humor or no humor, this griminess of this film should make most of us want a shower.

As I was listening to Eli Roth's commentary on the DVD, I couldn't help notice how deeply this guy was reading into every little thing that occurred. I'm going to just go ahead and assume he was pulling our legs with some of those claims. If not, then this guy knows waaaaay too much about Bloodsucking Freaks. Although, I tend to belive his claim that after shooting, the cast and crew had a big drugged out orgy to celebate, only because that's fuckin' awesome! And also, a bit of sad news, as Seamus O'Brien, the man who played Sardu was unfortunately shot and killed shortly after filming was completed. That's too bad the guy never got to see his greatest role in what would eventually become known as one of the greatest B-Horror flicks films the 70's has to offer. Our fallen lead actor may never get to see the splendor that is Bloodsucking Freaks. But it's not too late for you to witness this evil, legendary movie. It'll put some hair on your chest... or take years off your life. 8/10



#Review

Danielle Harris

So I'am sure that all of you have seen this beautiful video.
But It never gets boring.

Cannibal! The Musical (1993)



Like most people, I hate musicals with a passion. That is, all but one. A musical which not only manages to not be annoying, but is also quite hilarious. Dare I say the musical aspect makes that even more true. The songs are actually catchy. Stupid but catchy. But musical or not, this would be our first glimpse of the genius humor of Trey Parker that would not only make him millions in the long run, but make this little student film that started it all, the most beloved Troma movie of the 1990's. Although, this film is in desperate need of a new trailer. Just sayin'.

Cannibal! The Musical is the true story of alleged Colorado cannibal, Alferd Packer. At least his version of the story. Packer, a somewhat dim-witted Utah miner in the 1870s, who is coaxed into leading a gold-mining expedition into Colorado. Not wanting to let down the nice Mormon fellows, Alferd leaves out the fact that he has no Idea where Colorado (or anything) is. And that settles it! Now, an extreme horse-lover, a horse, a grumpy butcher, a chronic-liar, two mormons, and a little gipper pussy would then embark on a comically hopeless journey which could only end with frozen starvation, or cannibalism, with a soundtrack that would become legendary within the Troma universe.

Each character is hilarious in his own way, especially Dian Bachar, as the eager little virgin gipper who is convinced this trip will somehow earn him some sweet poon. The ridiculously positive Mormon is also a riot! So many hilarious one-liners. They just keep coming. Regardless of how low budget or unpolished a film is, one this funny and witty cannot be ignored. And many of the jokes would years later be recycled into South Park. Little things about this movie, I find funny. Like the fact that very few of the characters attempt to act like they're in living in the 1800s. In many ways, this one of those "so bad, it's good" type films.



When watching Cannibal! The Musical for the first time, I didn't realize exactly how true of a story this is. Minus a few obvious jokes (Chinamen portraying Native Americans), and of course the songs (I sssume), and this is one helluvan accurate portrayal of the story. Originally titled Alferd Packer The Musical, the title was changed by Troma mainly because such a title would only mean something to those who live in the area in which it all happened. That, and the fact that Cannibal! The Musical is a sweet fuckin' title!

Watching this trash epic, and another Parker film, Orgazmo, really makes me want him to ditch South Park, and start making movies again. Movies which don't include animation or puppets. Of the hundreds upon hundreds of Troma movies out there, there are quite a few good ones. But only a select few that are Must see. And as you could guess, this here is damn sure one of them. And the fact that this film can only be found within the Troma catalogue, pretty much ensures that regardless of whatever future success he stumbles upon. Cannibal! The Musical will forever remain Trey Parker's best kept secret. 9/10



#Review

Your fave horror film's longevity?

How long has your fave horror film been as such?

It's no secret that Terror (1978) is my favorite film.
It was June of last year when I first saw it, so it'd be 15 months for Sweet Terror O' Mine. n/m

Real Life Horror/ Dumbass


What a Dumbass poor old lion only wanted to play til the Dumb Fuck started waving his arms everywhere. Guess it's kinda sad. Nah

The Basket Case Trilogy



When you think of cheesy B-Horror from the 80's, several names may come to mind. If you know your shit, Frank Henenlotter should be one of those names. And if so, then, you should also be familiar with a movie called Basket Case, as well as its two sequels. Basket Case is nothing short of a masterpiece of 80's schlock. Frank Henenlotter's bread and butter. The film he is most known for, with the style which everything else he's done is inspired by. It's all about freaks with this guy. Their issues, and their struggles. Henenlotter has come up with some unique stories over the years. A parasite which gets people hooked on a psychedelic drug that it secretes into them, a Frankenstein put together by body parts from prostitutes, a woman with 7 clits whose sexual appetite becomes deadly. Yes. Frank Henenlotter definitely has an unusual imagination. But one thing all those fucked up stories have in common is that they can all be traced back to Basket Case.

Basket Case revolves around a young man named Duane Bradley, who has recently traveled from Glenn's Falls to New York City for a reason that is at first unknown. Duane walks down Times Square, searching for a hotel, and carrying a wicker basket. Duane stops at the first place he sees. The Hotel Broslin. A shitty little hotel with some sleazy characters hanging around, some of which may be insane. They try to interact with Duane, but don't get too far as he seems to be a bit guarded, and clearly wants to just keep to himself during his stay. But what's the deal with this basket? Whatever is in there, Duane is having conversations with it when in private, some of which take place telepathically. Whatever or whoever is in there, is in Duane's head. Duane and his friend in the basket seem to have a few common enemies in in the big city. Duane goes to pay some doctors a visit, tightly gripping his basket at all times. As Duane makes his intentions clear, it is revealed that in the basket is his monsterous brother, Belial, who was once connected to his side, and eventually removed by doctors in an illegal operation forced upon them by their father, who never recognized Belial as his son, or even as human. Ever since, the formerly siamese twins have not been okay, and now, they both have revenge on their minds. Belial more so than Duane.

However, Duane gets a little distracted from the plan when he meets a hot receptionist at one of the doctor's offices. One would think Duane wouldn't be stupid enough to go on a date with this chick who worked for the doctor that him and his brother just killed, but Duane hasn't had much luck with the ladies, and is pretty excited about this opportunity. Belial, however, isn't happy for his brother at all. And one day, when Duane is out with his new friend, Belial, who was left behind, goes balistic, tearing the place apart, letting Duane know that this is not okay. "If I can't get laid, neither can you". At first, Duane is patient with his freak brother, presumably out of guilt, but soon, Belial pushes it, and the two head down a road which may do irreparable damage to their relationship.

Henenlotter's first full-length feature. 1982's Basket Case feels more like a 70's Drive-In gore flick than anything. It's no wonder Something weird Video picked it up. It was made early enough in the decade to not come off all that 80's, although, the 80's cheese is still very much present, and the weirdness is nothing short of delicious. I'll admit, I'm a little biased when it comes to this movie, though. Basket Case is actually the first Horror film I remember watching in the mid-80's on a program on the USA Network called Saturday Nightmares. At the young age or 6 or 7, I was beyond fascinated by what I was seeing. Breaking my Horror-hymen with such a weird experience left me wanting more. More Horror, and especially more low-budget B-Horror. From the cheap keyboard, to the over-the-top, bad acting, to the cheap affects, to the shit film quality. In my opinion, Basket Case is THE B-Horror flick they should all be compared to. Thank you, Frank Henenlotter for making such a weird bad movie. My taste in the Horror genre wouldn't be the same without it. 10/10

Basket Case didn't really need a sequel. And going by the way it ended, one would assume it would be out of the question. But unfortunately, popularity almost always breeds sequels. If a Basket Case 2 happened two or three years later, that would be one thing. But Mr. Henenlotter didn't make this sequel until the early 90's. A time when B-Horror movies, and movies in general, were just different. That 70's/80's charm is long gone by now, and it ain't coming back. Basket Case 2 was actually my first taste of a 90's sequel to an 80's classic. And this experience would help mold my opinion of all 90's Horror. I hate 90's Horror, and Basket Case 2 is a big reason why. Although, I'd also like to give credit to Scream and Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4, but that's a different storiy. The point is, Basket Case 2 is typical 90's B-Horror. Self aware, intentional weirdness over natural weirdness, and better in all the wrong ways. He should have left it alone.

With out going into any spoilers, let's just say that the culmination of the first movie left both Duane and Belial more than a little banged up. Possibly near death. The brothers are now in a hospital, and the future looks pretty bleak for them both. But we're soon introduced to a new character who is about to take this story in a completely different direction. "Granny Ruth", a friend of their late aunt who took them in after their father's death, heard about the brother's shenanigans on the news, and heads to the hospital to break them free from their bleak futures, and us from a decent sequel. When Duane and Belial awaken, they are made aware of their surroundings, and their new friend. And eventually, her friends. Granny Ruth has turned her home into a sanctuary for freaks, where Duane and Belial have been invited to stay and live in peace with their people. But Duane has other ideas. Convinced he's not one of THEM, Duane is ready to bail and go off and start a normal life. And he wants to take Ruth's granddaughter, Susan, with him, whom he claims to be in love with. Funny. It's kind of early in the movie for talk like that. This is literally their first one-on-one scene together, and already Duane's in love, again. Belial doesn't mind because he's got his own love interest, this time. A similar looking freak named Eve. Duane's plans are post poned when a reporter gets up in their business, and they band together to preserve their way of life, by any means necessary. However, this is all a distraction, as Duane's issues must eventually be addressed, as well as the brother's issues with eachother, which leads to one hell of a sweet ending.

Sweet ending aside, as well as the fact that it's not THAT bad of a movie, Basket Case 2 just didn't need to happen. We didn't need to be made aware of what became of Duane and Belial after the first movie. This sequel lacks every bit of the original magic, and focuses far less on the twin brothers. Henenlotter is playing the "freaks" card for everything it's worth with this one, and has abandoned the sleazy, inept charm which made the original so great. And I personally don't like this direction. The whole thing was a little goofy for my taste. The freaks were stupid. There! I said it. 5/10

And what could possibly be more unnecessary than Basket Case 2? That's right! A part 3 where Duane, Ruth, Belial and the gang hop in a school bus and take a road trip to Georgia. Yes! That fucking happened! More on that in a minute. Unfortunately, Basket Case 3 is very much Granny Ruth's movie. And we've now gone full blown Horror Comedy. It's been close to a year since the last movie. Duane is now insane. The culmination of Basket Case 2 has left him a bit damaged, and after doing something really, really bad, Granny Ruth now keeps him in a padded cell and a straight jacket. But soon, he's going to get himself a change of scenery. Ruth and the gang are planning a trip to visit Ruth's 11-armed son who is going to deliver Eve's litter. The son who inspired her "freak lifestyle" But anyway, yeah. Belial knocked up Eve, and is going to be a dad. While the freaks are nice enough to let Duane tag along, the straight jacket stays on, for now. And Belial still isn't speaking to him. Which is understandable, after the shit he pulled. At this point, Duane has one thing on his mind. Escaping. But after Duane gets picked up by the law, the hospitable South makes trouble for the freak family, and yet again, extreme measures must be taken to preserve their way of life.

While Basket Case 3 is clearly the most unnecessary one of the trilogy, it doesn't leave the bad taste in my mouth that the second one did. I can't help but compare the first sequel to the original. Yet, when I compare Basket Case 3 to the one that came before it, it doesn't seem so bad. So it couldn't possibly be a letdown. Although, it still sucks, obviously. Basket Case 3 was made soon after the second one. They do seem like one, long stupid movie. And I guess if that were the case, Basket Case 2 would be quite the epic, as stupid as it would still be. The final chapter of this trilogy does have a few entertaining moments, and isn't quite as bland as 2. Still very much worth checking out for anyone who likes weird, stupid movies with cartoonish violence and campy humor. The freaks add about as much humor as they did in the last movie. And Granny Ruth is getting pretty annoying by this point. The main reason to stick it out for the whole movie would be the scenes including Duane, and his attempts to break free from Granny Ruth and her freak family, and his unsuccessful attempts to outsmart the local law enforcement once he does. The freaks may be stupid, and Granny Ruth may be an annoying bitch, but Frank Henenlotter set out to make yet aother freak show, and that's exactly what he did. 4/10

I can't very well blame Henenlotter for milking his original creation just a little bit more, but he is capable of so much more than this. See Brain Damage for proof. The sad part is that Basket Case 3 would be his last movie for about 17 years, until he brought us that weird shit known as Bad Biology. The one about the seven clits. An improvement over the Basket Case sequels, for sure, but nowhere near as amazing as the original. Hopefully, Henenlotter isn't quite finished unleashing his unique brand of weirdness on us. I've even heard rumors that he might not even be done with the Basket Case series. As bad at the first two sequels were, I would still have high hopes if another one came to be. The woman who played Granny Ruth is long retired from acting, and Henenlotter would most likely try something different. Or something more like the original, which is probably what most of us would prefer. Only time will tell. I'm fine with whatever Frank ends up doing, but it would be nice for this series to go out on a higher note, and to get a chance to wash off that lingering 90's stench once and for all.

Patricia Arquette in Lost Highway

There are all kinds of superlatives I could use to describe Patricia Arquette in Lynch's Lost Highway: Captivating, mesmerizing, checks thesaurus.com.. bewitching, hypnotizing, spellbinding, beguiling, entracing.. ok that's enough.

Without Arquette, I feel Lost Highway would be a lesser Lynch work. I can't think of another actress of the time who could have pulled this role off to such perfection. Blonde, or brunette, clothes on, clothes off, in HD she is simply a visual feast for the eyes.





I didn't understand the plot of the movie. And to be honest, I don't particularly care. Probably because I was too busy vigorously mastabating every time Arquette made an appearance (there is a fairly long section which doesn't have her in, so there is time for a break).

But on a last note, to Fulcento if you are reading this, you can keep your scrawny Tara Reid, this is a real woman :

Graphic Designers Needed

Design a logo for Trash Epics. We have icon logos, but we need a banner image. This site is too dry without one. Anyone who delivers a good design will get a $5 Amazon gift card or something.

the Sandworms in Dune

Whether Dune is "Trash" or not is a matter of personal opinion, but I don't think anyone would seriously argue that it is anything other than Epic, definitely with a capital E. Anyway, I was just thinking about the scene where Muad Dib harnesses the humongous Sandworm...


I bet that was so freaking difficult to film. Pardon me, this is TrashEpics, what I meant to say was "so FUCKING difficult." Running in the sand like that is no joke, you get super super super tired. And those guys are just actors, they aren't athletes or soldiers, trained for that type of thing... I bet they slept well, the night after filming that scene. I know, you only see them running in the sand for a few seconds, but I bet they had to go through dozens of takes before they got the one the director liked best.

I sometimes wonder about how this film has been perceived, over the years, by soldiers fighting in the desert. The Muad Dib character is sort of like the Mahdi, or maybe other figures in Islam... and, just the general milieu of fighting in the desert, in a war with control of an important resource at stake... I bet people fighting on all different sides have often imagined themselves to be characters in this movie.

Any Carpenter Brut fans?



Really fucking cool video done to Lucio Fulci's Murder Rock.

#80sasscheeks #80shair #Luciofucli #Spandex