Renzo Does Things

Things. That's exactly what this movie is. A jumbled mess of obtuse things that don't fit together, being forced to co-exist in 85 minutes of sheer avant-garde brilliance. Everything about this movie is a complete enigma. The premise, the purpose, and the pretense of this movie, because it makes NO sense, it serves NO moral, and the biggest mystery is to whether the creators of this film intended to create a mocking masterpiece, or if they just fell completely steam-roller flat.

The look of this film is reflective of the mindset of the film-makers involved: it's fuzzy, foolish, and downright foreign. Shot on 8mm, this Canadian epic is technically one of the worst films ever made. Everything about this movie is just wrong, from the framing, to the editing, to the sound mixing. Especially the sound mixing, because it's almost entirely dubbed, and everyone doing their lines seems completely out of their emotive mindset, it just ends up fascinating. The music is a mixture of mistaken synths melodies, airy repetition, and dastardly guitar riffs. The lighting is in eccentric Suspiria colors that vividly contrast our protagonist's blue sweater. The editing is jumpy, the shots linger far too long on people struggling to accomplish a relatively simple task such as putting on a shirt, or wiping off blood and goo with paper towels. It's only natural that the cast and crew had no idea how to film a regular movie, because they can barely dress themselves. Yet all this transcends typical technical inferiority and surmounts to something mesmerizing. A true testament to Canadian film-making.

The plot involves things, and characters who encounter things, and unenthused conflicts brought about by things. After things start appearing, it becomes a survival story in the vein of The Evil Dead, only less coherent, less logical, and with a lot more beer and filler. Nearly half of this movie contains scenes that further the plot in absolutely no way, and sometimes even twist the story into a complete knot. Describing the story of Things is one of the toughest challenges mankind has faced, because the premise has yet to be deciphered. So when one wants to know about Things, it all boils down to a mustached mullet man in a blue sweater fighting off giant rubbery ants after his spectacle-wearing brother's wife gives birth to said things after having been artificially-inseminated by a satanic scientist... or something.

Things is a strange case of the worst ingredients forming a completely happy accident. You have to be in a strange place to enjoy this movie, because it's so bad... it's beautiful. Some movies are described as nightmares on film, but most films are too coherent, or structurally sound, to encompass a true nightmare. A real nightmare makes no sense, and takes you from one place to another, so fluidly, that you don't even realize you're going there until you suddenly find yourself at that place. This is Things. A surreal mess of incompetent creatures and uncordial catastrophes, that you'll never truly understand, even after you have just experienced Things.

This review is from my imdb account: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0183881/reviews-24

#Review

Orgasm Torture in Satan's Rape Clinic (2004)



"Satanists murder the owner of an experimental "rape clinic" and subject one of her patients to their own sexual perversions."


There are no words to describe how cool as fuck this films title is BUT there are also no words to describe how shit this film is!

I love horror & a big fan of horror so "shit" others wouldn't watch.

This film has no plot, has no credible film makers & is the first film ever that I genuinely give 1/10 & the 1 is for the great title... prostitutes get paid to fuck & porn stars get paid to suck

IMDb

I hope I don't get into trouble for posting this but on IMDb its not only the Horror Board with Lep, and all his other fucking aliases that his dumbass has reporting everybody's posts they put up.

I've posted 5 posts there on the horror board and that fucker has reported every single on but Snowtown/The Snowntown Murders and The Incredible Melting Man he has reported.

But for shits n giggles I posted the Sudical Munchkin video on the The Wizard of Oz board and I even said on my post that I know it's fake as shit but its a cool little myth about how some people believed that it actually happened.
And no joke by the time I logged off it was already reported by someone.

I've only been on IMDb for a year but has it always been that way with people reporting posts.

Men Behind the Sun

Yeah so this is like preaching to the choir as most of youse kunts seem to get off on all like autopsy footage and that so if it helps, Men Behind the Sun deploys actual real life, well, er, I mean real dead, cadavers, which I'm sure you sick cunts'll agree is all all like happy happy fun time goodness. YAY!

This Chinky flick - wrongly labelled a mondo or horror film in some quarters - is a dramatic reconstruction of events surrounding 731 Squadron, a group of slitty eyed scientists experimenting with biological warfare during World War 2. Pull up a fucking futon here as I describe the cunt: Chinky and western citizens are imprisoned in camps and subject to all manner of truly appalling experimentation. Get this, right, this one slag, after her baby is snatched from her arms and buried in the snow, is left outdoors surrounded by a rampart of ice-blocks. Tied to a wooden frame, cold water is constantly poured over her outstretched arms. When her limbs are deemed suitably encrusted, the ice is smashed off and she is led back into the compound. The experiment controller instructs her to plunge her arms into a tank of heated water, then tugs at her skin which sloughs - yeah, I said sloughs - from her bones like cow's arse gloves haha! The silly Chinky tart screams hysterically at the skeletal limbs before her!! Good fucking stuff!

Man or Men Behind the Sun is full of such delights, in one memorable scene some cunt gets placed in a decompression chamber, he remains there for a bit until collapsing to the floor, his body sweating and swelling until finally the poor sod prolapses violently, discharging about three metres of gut from his anus which once expelled resembles a massive chain of Cumberland sausage meat. It's a fucking laugh riot.

Men Behind the Sun is not a low budget exploitation film. It's a propoganda film highlighting the Chinks suffering at the hands of the Japs. It's brutal, jarring, and downright evil in its intent. And if you enjoy watching drunken caretakers tossing (real) dead bodies into furnaces, cat snuff, nine-year old boy evisceration/autopsy footage and evil Jap cunts being evil Jap cunts then look no further dickheads as this is the film for you. Good times.

Red to Kill (1994)

What do you get when you have a exploitation rape revenge flick made by the wonderful filmmakers in Hong Kong. You get a class A Cat III flick. Being that this movie is Chinese and not Japanese, we get uncensorsed nudity too. Not sure how much of the nudity you'd actually WANT to see in this movie, but for all intents and purposes, this is a fantastic sleazy affair.

Meet our rapist, Mr Chan.



Played wonderfully by Ben Ng, you will never see a rapist as energetic and crazy as this guy. If you have to pick a reason to watch this movie, watch it for him. This guy makes Le Tenia cower in fear. He basically looks like a Chinese version of the Hulk. The thing that sets him off as a buldging, shaking, adrenline pumped sex addict, is the colour red. Apparently he was traumatised as a kid when he saw his mother murdered in a bloody fashion. Now the colour red turns him into a raping and killing fiend. You wanna know the most fucked up part fo this plot. Guess where our rapist/murderer works?
A home for mentally handicapped children. I wonder how long an american remake will come along?;)

Notice how I used red to highlight that above point? Smooth huh;)

Anyway, meet our main protagonist Ming Ming. An innocent child orphaned and placed in this home. Little Ming Ming is the sweetest character, you really want her to be okay. And watching over her is her social worker, Mrs Lok. But how long before someone wears red and sets our hulking rapist off into a trance?

Okay this movie is all sorts of fucked up. It's a exploitation rape revenge centered around disabled kids for goodness sake. And there is a copy containing the most dodgy subs ever heard of in the history of filmmaking, apparently. Not the copy I have, but I have heard many tales of the "Sex Lupine".

Despite its subject matter and brutality, it's actually a really well made film. Very artistic and emotional in scenes. Lovers of cinema should find some appreciation for it at least, but of course those who love exploitaion will adore it too. The final confrontation involving Mr Chan is a sight to behold. Gorehounds rejoice!

It's hard recommending a movie like this, but I'm going to do it anyway. Watch this movie. And if you get a hold of the dodgy subs version, you'll be pissing yourself laughing all the way.



And yay, wouldn't ya believe it, it's on youtube! Not sure if this copy is the dodgy subs one or not, but check it our regardless. The dodgy subs copy is bound to get some extra laughs thrown in.



https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111037/reference

#Cat3 #Chinese #DodgySubs #Extreme #Rape

Trash Epics' Favorite 4-20 Movies/Shows

Today is a very special day for delinquents like myself. It's an excuse to smoke even more than usual, and I'm already smoking around 4 bowls a day. Maybe I should cut back? Just so I'll still have enough to get blazed for Texas Frightmare Weekend (May 2nd)... but I can make no promises.

Me personally... @Tromafreak got me big into Cheech and Chong a few years back. Half Baked is probably the be-all-end-all of weed films, but then again... there's a lot of weed films out there that are equally awesome.

What are your favorite weed movies? Or shows? It could be a small part of the movie, or the whole movie can be about weed. Just like with the anthology thread, this is based on our user votes, so if you fucking hate this list, then fix it by voting!

Trash Epics' Favorite Marijuana Movies/Shows
https://junkepics.com/film/?tags=marijuana&sort=value

OT - The Deep Web

I've been listening to nu metal all week while researching the dark web from the safety of Google. I haven't actually went on it yet because I don't want to watch kid porn, snuff films or feel tempted to order a hit on someones life I can't afford to pay. Anyone ever went on?

Anyway, check this shit out:



There's lots of this shit to be found. Can you think of any horror movies based on it?

Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead - Wow fucking great!

Didn't expect much, per the kinda crappy cover on Netflix and not heard a lot about it....but this was a really fun, quite gory zombie movie with actual ideas of its own!

The pacing is excellent throughout and it nicely moves from kind of absurd humor to pretty serious very well. Characters that are well written, some funny Aussie humor and some nice gore thrown in.

Anyway check out this gem if you get a chance! Anyone else seen it?

Cannibal Holocaust - Blu Ray and rewatch thoughts

So CH is a very divisive movie for numerous reasons. Upfront I'm gonna say I haven't (and won't) watch the uncut (ie animal killings) version. Just don't think its necessary or needed...hopefully Ferox may have a animal cresulty free version so I can finally watch that. Needless to say its the Grindhouse 3 disc version that I upgraded to (already had the DVD version). Don't wanna get into that aspect for this review.

So there's something quite unique about CH. I've never watched a movie that really gave the same versimiltude about it. It suffers the same downfalls as many Italian movies with some dodgy acting, and a sort of cheapness to the feel.

But despite that after the first 15 minutes or so, the bad acting gives way to more genuine reactions from the cast. Its never perfect in that respect, but when it gets rolling it really draws you in. I'm not sure how much Deodato planned or how much was just luck, but the intensity of the enviroment mixed with the images and the back and forth of "modern day" New York is striking.

The soundtrack cannot be overlooked....its as much of the movie as Williams score of Jaws...but its oddly used which addes to the unsettling nature of the movie. The beautiful haunting "main theme" is played in various parts...from the sweeping opening shot over the amazon, to the most light hearted piece in the whole movie (Monroe in the river with the girls) to the most vicious rape scenes. It shouldn't work....but it does. Then the electonic buzzes in scenes just messes with you more, making a more dirty and exploitation feel juxtaposed to that main theme.

Overall the movie does feel "dangerous" if that makes any sense. Perhaps its the environment, or maybe the feeling of being real from the indigenous cast of "cannibals" (who don't get enough praise IMO in reviews).

Sure the theme of "civiilzed man ain;t so civilized at all" is not subtle, but still relevant, especially with the backdrop of NY city and the blood hungry media willing to overlook the documentary makers abuses just for ratings.

Best scene in the movie (for me)...they come across the impaled girl (which is implied they impaled) and Alan in smiling...camera man says, "hey we're filming" where he goes deadpan. Chilling.

Anywho not a movie for everyone, but its a 10/10 for me, and gets better with more rewatches.

A note on the transfer...its an interesting one...unlike the likes of The Thing, which is just crystal clear...this one retains much of the scratchy feel but enhances the color and clarity.

Best Gore In Movies?

What movies do you think have the best gore?

For realism, I like Gateway Meat.

I'll also credit ReGOREgitated Sacrifice for having outstanding gore, even though I'm not a fan of the movie.

For fun gore, I like 100 Tears, Sweatshop and Braindead.