Why is it "unmanly" to drink anything that tastes good?

My only real options for drinking alcohol are beer and hard liquor. If I want to have a delicious daiquiri or wine cooler, suddenly I'm a pussy. The same thing for coffee. It has to be plain old regular plain ass coffee. If I want to have something in it that actually tastes good like hazelnut or caramel, I'm a fag. Do I really have to put up with things I don't like just to prove I'm a man? It's just a drink for christ's sake! IT'S NOT FAIR!!

2024 Viewings

This is for anyone who wants to keep a log of their viewings/ratings every month so please feel free to add yours.

The links for the previous 7 years viewings are here if anyone still needs to access them for reference:

2023: https://trashepics.com/post/30/55/
2022: https://trashepics.com/post/30/43/
2021: https://trashepics.com/post/30/37/
2020: https://trashepics.com/post/30/31/
2019: https://trashepics.com/post/30/9/
2018: https://trashepics.com/post/30/5/
2017: https://trashepics.com/post/9/97/

New Feature: Viewings List

https://junkepics.com/film/watch/

This is an alternative to the annual viewings thread. You can add what you're watching to your viewings list in a slightly more streamlined manner than in the usual threads for it, and this includes setting the date for when you watch it, leaving a little comment about it, and a checkbox for whether it's an FTV.

The titles will link to the database, but it should also allow you to put in stuff that isn't included in the db. My dumbass didn't test that part, but I'll fix it if it doesn't work.

It has potential to replace the challenge threads too, by calculating your points automatically. Since challenges are scored in different ways, this will require me to tweak things for each challenge as needed, but it should hopefully encourage you lazy bastards to participate more if it requires less steps. By less steps, I mean instead of updating your challenge spots and your viewings thread spot, you could (theoretically) only need to update this one list.

I know threads allow for discussion, so this may not take off, but whatever. It might be a decent alternative.

New Feature: Wheel of Fortune

https://junkepics.com/game/multi/

Did you know Pat Sajak finally retired from that show? I've been slacking on adding more casino games, so I gave this one a whirl. It's a simple version of the game, 2 to 3 players. The lobby host can input their own puzzle, or it can be randomized. I've implemented a little over 200 puzzles, and the themes include "It's Always Sunny", "Trailer Park Boys", and a subcategory of TPB for "Rickyisms". Spin the wheel, buy vowels, and solve the puzzle to win some useless TE money.

Also, casino games now include a leader/loserboard to showcase a player's wins, losses, draws, and earnings for a game.

I think I'll get a bigger TV

I've had my current 32 inch 720p tv for years and it just dawned on me how small it is on my tv stand. I need to upsize that fucker ASAP. Something 40+ inches and 4K, even though I don't have any 4K discs or even a 4K player, but I'll get them. Maybe!

Anybody buy into these super HD things, or are you still watching VHS tapes in your TV/VCR combo? I want to watch T2 in maximum quality.

The Iron Claw (2023)

I saw this the other day and I've been thinking about it. It's an A24 wrestling biopic set in early 80s Dallas about a family of brothers who wrestle under their father's strict and domineering guidance. Dad is played by Holt McCallany (Fight Club, Mindhunter), and he's a real piece of work. At times, he seems like a good dad, but he pushes his wrestling ambitions onto his sons too much. He doesn't do the best job fathering his children, as you'll see here in various scenes of him being a cold, greedy prick. A good performance by Holt, though.

Headlines dictate the real star here is Efron. He plays the "primary" brother in this story, which I wont spoil here, but it's sad as hell. I went in blind and I'm not a wrestling fan, but it's got to be a good movie to reel you in when you don't find the subject matter interesting. Like how I don't give a fuck about the stock market, but The Wolf of Wall Street is still a great movie. Efron puts in a heartfelt performance here, and he beefed up more than ever for it.

I love the vibe of period-piece biopics like this. I guess A24 likes to keep things classy, so I regret to inform all of you that The Iron Claw is not a trash epic. It is just a good regular movie. 😟



Random notes:

• I was quite amused by the Ric Flair scenes.

• Lily James is the love interest, notable for Pam & Tommy. I almost didn't recognize her.

• The vertical suplex Efron takes outside the ring and on the hard concrete floor really got me. 😲

#Review

Trash Challenge VIII: Ethel Eats Manhattan



Alright, all you Hollywood dickriders. It's that time of year again where we pretend this is still a trash movie site for a month. The one challenge where the weird, the violent, the obscure and the turkeys are all fair game. I hope you all have been keeping an eye out for some good shit. I've certainly come across a few recently that I've been saving especially for this. And please do let us all know if you come across any quality trash recs in the next month, because it's gonna be another one of those looong, hard ones, as they say, so, we'll need all the help we can get.


Welcome to the 2024 Trash Challlenge!

As always, it'll be one point for every trashy quality below. It doesn't have to be a significant amount of anything. As long as it's there.

Nudity

Gore

Rape

Hardcore (Porn)

Incest

Drug Use

Cannibalism

Intentionally Bad Qualities

Video Nasties - Any movie to ever appear on this list.

SOV - Anything shot-on-video from the 80's and 90's, or beyond, if you know of anything.

Beastiality

Necrophilia

Racism - One point for racist characters, or any type of blatant racism expressed.

Retards - Any characters who appears to be mentally handicapped is good for a point.

Garbage Point - One point earned if you genuinely hate the movie and have a difficult time making it through.

Pleasure Point - One point earned for each orgasm you provide for yourself whilst viewing a trash epic.

FTV (First Time Viewing)

And then, there's the Trifectas. Instead of using directors and series, the Trash Challenge trifectas are all about the classic Exploitation sub genres

Sexploitation, Blaxploitation, Drugsploitation, Hixploitation, Hippiesploitation, Nazisploitation, Bikersploitation, Canuxploitation, Ozploitation, Nunsploitation, Vansploitation, Bruceploitation, Fowlsploitation, Rape/Revenge, Lezbo-Vamp, Women In Prison, Jungle Cannibal Epics, Mondo/Shockumentaries, Nudie Cuties/Nudist Camp, Giallos, J-Sploitation/Pink, Hong Kong CAT:III, Throwbacks

3 in a row from any of the above sploitations will count as a trifecta. A movie can only count towards one trifecta.

Single Trifecta - 5 points

Double Trifecta - 7 points

Triple Trifecta - 9 points

Etc.

NEW

Stop cheating. I can't imagine anyone here still not knowing what an ACTUAL exploitation movie is. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to go full blown "Markus" on anyone who tries to sneak Half Baked into their Drugsploitation trifecta or Smokey And The Bandit in their Hixploitation trifecta.

Films must run no less than 40 minutes to count.

This challenge will be for the month of March.

Good fucking luck!




I https://trashepics.com/post/9/105/
II https://trashepics.com/post/9/186/
III https://trashepics.com/post/9/229/
IV https://trashepics.com/post/9/236/
V https://trashepics.com/post/9/247/
VI https://trashepics.com/post/9/254/
VII https://trashepics.com/post/9/266/

Road House (2024)

This turned out to be a pretty solid flick. Gyllenhaal is the suave drifter taking on a bouncer gig at the Florida "Road House", and Conor McGregor plays the cocky belligerent asshole out to terrorize the place on his boss's behalf. Seriously, what a real prick that guy, and probably not too far from how he is in real life, always strutting around smiling and beating up everyone in sight.

Same old story you've seen before, but good performances and good fight scenes. No roundhouse kicks, though, as far as I'm aware.

#Review

The Girl Next Door (2007)

This is not about the movie by the same name starring Elisha Cuthbert and Emile Hirsch. It has the same name, but it sounds more like Martyrs to me.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Girl_Next_Door_(2007_film)

I just casually started watching this, last night. I didn't really understand what it would be about, it just caught my eye when I was scrolling thru the free movies.

I only watched about fifteen minutes. You have to be in the mood for a movie like this, I guess. Or at least, you have to be prepared. I was just starting to get into it, thinking "OK, this seems a little like Stand By Me or maybe It. I can get into that." But I started to notice little signs that it could get much darker.... luckily I paused it, and checked out its Wikipedia page, and read a few reviews on our old pal IMDB.

YIKES. Not for me. Apparently it's even based on a true story. I'm glad I turned it off. They take time to make you like and respect a couple of the characters, but then later in the film they just torture the bejesus out of those characters. Apparently Jack Ketchum had some kind of input into writing up the story, so it would definitely have to be pretty brutal.

So. Yah. It's possible I'll be in the mood for this at some point, but I'm glad I turned it off. If you look at Stephen King's comments on it in the Wikipedia article, you'll see that he said this: "The first authentically shocking American film I've seen since Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer over 20 years ago. If you are easily disturbed, you should not watch this movie. If, on the other hand, you are prepared for a long look into hell, suburban style, The Girl Next Door will not disappoint. This is the dark-side-of-the-moon version of Stand by Me."

Once again: Yikes.

Dumbass Hero in The Beyond

This video nasty may be a renowned for its graphic old school gore and ballsy bleak ending, but our hero is a pretty stupid guy. Give him a gun and he'll shoot the zombie in the chest. Again in the chest. In the head. Bingo! Then he moves on to the next zombie and repeats the process. Two in the body, one the head. I'm pretty sure there was a third time or... beyond.

I know why they did it, though. They wanted to showcase the effects, but the guy is stupid. He deserves to go to hell.