Salem's Lot 2024

We have probably done a few posts about this before... I'm just mentioning that apparently they have finished filming this. IMDB says it is completed, and that it is 153 minutes long. I guess they could still do some more editing if they wanted.

It is directed by Gary Dauberman, who has done a lot in recent(-ish) years.

One interesting thing that jumps out at me when I look at the IMDB page for it, is that Spencer Treat Clark as Mike Ryerson gets top billing. He is listed first as a star, and is also shown first in the credits. That is interesting to me. Mike Ryerson was... well, he was a significant character, but he wasn't exactly a LEADING or MAIN character. He was the guy who got vamped out and then later showed up at Mr. Burke's house, and was sitting in the rocking chair, in the 1979 miniseries. He had the scary silvery eyes, and called Mr. Burke "teacher" in that scary vampire voice.

Anyway, it strikes me as interesting that he seems to get TOP billing. Maybe they messed with the story, to give him a more prominent role, somehow.... I usually like Spencer Treat Clark, as far as I can recall, so I am hopeful that this will be an interesting, worthwhile change of pace for the story.

I keep calling the old English teacher character Mr. Burke. In the novel he was Matt Burke. In the 1979 miniseries, they called him Jason Burke. In the 2004 TNT version they made him black and gay, so, whatever. South Park has done an episode or two abusing Hollywood for exactly that type of thing, for taking random characters and making them gay or black, or both, or whatever.

Shit, something must be wrong with my laptop... I keep going offline and back online. I'm just going to post this, and hope none of the text I typed has been lost.

Animation Challenge 2024

Let's watch some cartoons!

You get one point per minute watched. Both movies and TV series count. Live action mixed with animation like Who Framed Roger Rabbit is allowed.

The challenge starts on April 1st and ends on April 30th.

Make your SPOT below! Put any questions or recs in the shoutbox.

Rosemary's Baby prequel? WHY?!

Coming this Halloween. Completely unnecessary. Just like The First Omen. And just like that crap movie Pet Sematary: Bloodlines. We don't need every backstory completely spelled out for us imbecilic viewers. Way to run another property into the ground.

Knuckles, the tv show

I didn't even know this was a thing until a few days ago. Paramount+ put out this spin-off for the Sonic the Hedgehog movies, featuring the return of Idris Elba as Knuckles.

Now, anybody who has ever played the Sonic games knows how they are. You run through levels dodging enemies and collecting rings. So how does that translate to a tv show?

Yeah, you guessed it! This show is all about... bowling! Some inept police officer (Adam Pally) in the smallest town in Montana sets out to win a bowling tournament against his dickhole father (Cary Elwes). Knuckles is also in there sometimes. This show is (not) just like the video games.

Yeah, whatever. I still thought it was funny.

#Review

GHOSTBUSTERS!

It only took me a month to get around to watching Part 4, but it was plenty of fun. We're finally back to busting ghosts in New York City, and our remaining original team has a bigger role this time around. Our characters from the previous movie are still the main focus, but Ray and Ernie have bigger parts. Bill Murray isn't in much, but he's definitely welcome, and I was happy to see William Atherton back as the asshole mayor. He hasn't learned anything over the years.

There's a lot going on in the movie and they have to juggle a lot of characters, including a few new ones. For the most part, they handled it pretty well. I didn't see any Sigourney Weaver and still no Rick Moranis, but at least we have Slimer and the marshmallows. And this movie even has a possessed bag of garbage, which adds to the trash factor.

There are a few headscratching moments, though. For as much fun as it was, there were still some incredibly stupid moments in the film. People know who the Ghostbusters are and they know what they do. Yet they still get arrested by the cops when the police SEE them fighting these goddamn ghosts that possess otherwise inanimate objects, and after everything supernatural that's happened in the past few films, that dipshit mayor is still trying to shut them down (and succeeds). Like, seriously? And even Winston is giving Ray the business, when he knows damn well that Ray doesn't fuck around when it comes to paranormal threats.

Still, plenty of interesting stuff going on and some good laughs throughout. Good times.

#Review

Barcelona cop, reminds me of Hereditary

I can't remember if I have posted here before about this. There was a guy named Josep (that's right, no H) Baque (long deceased), who was a cop in Barcelona in the 20th century. In his spare time, he had a hobby of drawing imaginary creatures that he made up on his own.

Some of his creatures vaguely remind me of the disturbing little dolls made by the girl in Hereditary. Just their general proportions and their colors, I think. Josep Baque drew or painted his creatures, he didn't make little dolls or action figures out of them.

Zed, is he famous in Barcelona? My guess is NO. But, maybe it could be a fun thing to do, to visit his house, someday if you are bored. Maybe he has his fans, somewhere out there. I have no idea if his house is a place of pilgrimage.

Here is a video of his creatures:

Neon Fear: A Friday the 13th Fan Film

I've been seeing this weird shit plastered all over facebook and I really don't know what to think of it.

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/neon-fear-a-friday-the-13th-fan-film

A dystopian future with Jason kill-bots, time-travel back to the 80s, and using real Jason to kill the kill bots? Like seriously, wtf? 😄

Looks like a lot of AI/CGI, but I can't say I'm not intrigued. And this whole fucking mess is made by a woman? And a hot one at that?

I'll probably have to watch this.

Double Dragon (1994)



In the 80s and 90s, there was an emergence of kid-friendly martial arts movies and video games that made every kid want to be a ninja. Karate Kid, Big Trouble in Little China, Showdown in Little Tokyo, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 3 Ninjas, you name it. Here is another one based on a video game, turned into a super cheesy action/adventure romp about two brothers in a gang-ridden "New Angeles" trying to stop a typical over-the-top mogul from taking over the city.

Our two leads are Scott Wolf (Billy) and Mark Dacascos (Jimmy), orphan teens living in the dystopian post-earthquake island formerly known as Los Angeles in the year 2007. Similar concept to Escape from LA which was set in 2013, isn't it? So Billy & Jimmy are tasked to protect a magical amulet and keep it out of the hands of the generic villain, because that's an easy enough plot for anyone to follow.

Robert Patrick (Koga) is our smug, bleach-blond villain. He can turn into a somewhat fluid shadow form and imitate others. I bet he's never played a role like that before, am I right?

Alyssa Milano (Marian) is here also, playing a punky gang leader working to keep the streets safe from the various lunatics and henchmen under the employ of our douchebag villain. Suffice to say, both of our lead protagonists like to gawk at her ass, because she's looking pretty fine in this movie. I'd like to watch the extended ending where the double dragons double team her, but that footage has yet to be recovered.

Yeah, it's a total cheesefest, but as a kid, I'm sure I would have loved it. Hell, even as an adult, I found it's retro-futuristic LA ninja-punk vibes to be surprisingly fun either way. And to make this movie legit, it features Al Leong as... you guessed it... a fucking henchman!

I give it 1 out of 2 half-medallions.

#Review

M. Night's new film "Trap"

Looks pretty decent. I haven't seen Hartnett in anything in a while, and he looks like he'll be having some fun playing this character.



I hope it's better than Knock at the Cabin. God, that movie sucked.

New Feature: Lottery

https://trashepics.com/lottery/

Here's another means to win some of those wonderful trash bucks. Pay $1 of your fake moneyz and pick 6 numbers. Each week, you could win more of that stupid fake cash.

Honestly, I don't imagine this will be used much since this place is a goddamn ghost town, but it seemed like a funny idea at the time. Use it or don't. I don't give a fuck.

This will be filed under Junk > Apps.