When a Stranger Calls 1979

This one is usually regarded as a "classic", but not by anyone with high standards. It's a rip-off of both Black Christmas and Halloween, and starts off promising with some nice atmosphere and a bleak intro, but after that? Charles Durning hunts for the escaped guy, and our opening lead actress disappears for most of the movie.

The movie focuses some on mental illness, but the killer is still a tool. Not very frightening to the hardened viewer. I feel like the movie was conceived around the first 20 minutes, then a bunch of filler happens until a tame showdown.

If it's any consolation fo this movie's fans, it is still better than the 2006 remake. I remember when I was fresh on horror back then and I still thought that movie was fucking garbage.

1979 version had potential, but it falls a bit flat. It probably would've made a decent TV movie though, but that's what the sequel was for, apparently.


Black Christmas did it better.

#Review

They/Them 2022

This movie is gay. Take that both ways. Literally and figuratively, I mean. It's at a conversion camp run by Kevin Bacon, and a bunch of LGBT garbage happens. And barely any of those fuckers get killed. Instead, most of the kills are of the staff members. I guess they thought people would be offended if too many gay people got killed in one movie? I know I wouldn't get offended. I'd find it hilarious.

There isn't much horror here, but there is My Girl Anna Chlumsky. Kevin Bacon doesn't do much in this movie, but he helps keep it from being rated a 1. There was a funny bit where one of the campers comments that she has the feeling that Jason Voorhees might appear.

There's a reason this one skipped theaters. It's trash, and not the good kind.

#Review

The Black Phone 2021

This is a decent little movie by Scott Derrickson and Joe Hill. I say "little" because the scope of the movie seems very small. Sure, it deals with children, who are small, but it's also in a small town where people can go missing as often as they do and nobody can do anything about it. But don't get me wrong, they are little, and that's why the grabber wants them.

It's mostly through the children's perspectives, and they do a decent job. Plus, these kids are beating the shit out of each other, so it's great. Joe Hill inherited a lot from his dad's writing, including the theme of bullies, psychics, friendship, abusive fathers, and probably some other things. I can't vouch for any of the source material on account of my illiteracy, but the movie plays out pretty well.

There's a fair amount of buildup before the abduction plot gets going, but it feels right. What you wont get much of is Ethan Hawke as the grabber, but you can tell he had fun in the role. Kids would be scared of this guy.

Also worth mentioning is James Ransone. I love that guy. He plays an enthustiastic cokehead trying to solve a mystery.

#Review

Halloween Ends 2022 - No Spoilers

This movie is different. Very fucking different. The teases likened the movie to Christine, which is a very valid comparison. I'd call this movie more of a psychological-drama/romance than straight-up horror. If you're expecting another Myers' rampage, you wont find it here.

Instead, what we're given is an interesting deviation to the normal Haddonfield formula. We get to see a different side to the town for a change. When they're not getting killed on Halloween night, they actually go to work and stress out about personal drama and whatnot. This movie isn't about Michael. Laurie and Allyson play big parts. Yes, that means Laurie isn't confined to a hospital the entire time. Even still, it's more about a new character, and that part I wont get into.

You're probably wondering about the lack of Michael, but don't worry. There are plenty of interesting bits about him. You'll see a very different side to his character, and that doesn't mean he's fundamentally different. He's still the same, but you'll see what I mean.

Initial reaction? Satisfied. It's not your classic Halloween movie by any means, but that doesn't mean it's not interesting. I didn't know where they were going with this for a while, but it all comes together. The ending didn't piss me off, either.

#Review

Prophecy 1979

In the forests of Maine, something is terrorizing the locals. It even kills a dog right off the bat, and those animal killings often hit harder than human killings. Stupid humans... but yeah, it's killing them, and it's an asshole and whatnot.

It's a good cast here, featuring Talia Shire and Armand Assante, who funny enough often played Stallone's brother. There's some environmental junk to the plot, but that's to be expected in the animal horror genre, as I've been finding out. Try to guilt the viewer into being an activist, why don't ya? Fortunately, I completely forgot what man-made plight was responsible for the carnage, so I'm proud to say I didn't learn any lessons.

This movie is pretty fucking awesome for being PG. That sleeping bag kill? Holy shit! People's faces getting sliced by a bear claw? There was a decapitation in there too, right? I hope they show this movie to elementary school children when they try indoctrinate them about pollution or whatever the fuck this movie is preaching against. Had I known that this is where South Park got its inspiration for the infamous global warming / manBearPig spiel, I would have watched it much sooner.

#Review

Day of the Animals 1977

On the topic of killer animal movies, here's one from the good ol' 1970s about a group of hikers getting lost in the midst of some environmental propaganda. The animals are on the fritz, and they blame the depletion of the ozone layer. I'm not sure if there's any science behind any of it, but whatever. What's the worst that could happen on a friendly nature hike?

When someone goes into the woods in a horror film, you should have a pretty good idea of how things can go wrong. Our group of hikers is led by Christopher George, and includes some native American guide, an annoying mother and her eager son, some random filler characters, and most importantly... Leslie fucking Nielson.

He wasn't always a funny guy. He used to be... HILARIOUS! What a fucking asshole! Well, he starts off as a chipper albeit disrespectful patron, making racist remarks at the native guide and calling the tour guide "hot shot" all the time, as if he thinks he can be a better host than the perfectly reasonable Christopher George. As soon as things start to go south, his condescension gets overt. And when things go even more south, he starts insulting everybody and calling the nice little kid a cockroach. He really goes off the deep end and gets a god complex. If the plot were described as simply as "Leslie Nielson fights a bear", I'd be sold. I probably should have opened with that, but like the movie itself, you need a bit of buildup to something so extravagant.

It's not very gory, but there's definitely a bodycount. It's a fun adventure and I'm definitely willing to watch more from this killer animal subgenre.

#Review

Jersey Boys (LOL)

Box, I'm sorry to put you in the position of having to decide whether to tolerate a post about Jersey Boys on/in this forum. But, I just had a funny idea, and didn't know where to post it... anyway, for anyone who hasn't seen it, Jersey Boys is a movie about the musical group The Four Seasons. I just saw it for the first time a few months ago, and I like it a lot.

I just wanted to say, there's a scene where they show one of the group members (who was the main songwriter of their songs), Bob Gaudio, suddenly getting the idea for the song Big Girls Don't Cry, when he's hanging out with some other members of the group and another guy who produces their records. They are watching a movie on TV, and a guy slaps a woman in the face in that movie, and one of the guys in the group says "Watch this, she's gonna cry now," and the producer of The Four Seasons just says "Big girls don't cry." Bob Gaudio slowly turns his face toward the producer guy... so anyway, you could all probably guess what that reminded me of: that popular meme of Chris Pratt where he turns toward the camera with the facial expression of a mischievously delighted two year old child. If anyone here is technologically capable of editing together some kind of Deep Fake or whatever, digitally editing Bob Gaudio's face together with Chris Pratt's face in that meme, I just think it would be pretty hilarious. Here, the moment I'm talking about in Jersey Boys happens at about :29 to :33 in this clip, and you all know the Chris Pratt meme I'm thinking of. Had to share.

Remember this exercise from the HB?

List your 3 favorite horror films from the year you're born.

The Wicker Man
The Exorcist
Messiah of Evil

Grizzly 1976

Grizzly is pretty boring. They don't show much of the bear, but he's a lot of fun when he gets there. He kills the shit out of those people, and for no reason. He's just an asshole.

I loved the scene where the bear was shaking down the tower. They probably reused the same footage of him in all those shots, because he kept shaking that load-bearing plank over and over again in the same way. Points for this movie having the balls to kill people. I'm pretty sure I remember them killing a kid, so bonus points for that. In a movie like this, none of the characters matter. I've forgotten them all entirely, and it's only been a day since I watched it.

The killer-animal subgenre is one I haven't delved into much. I think the idea lends itself perfectly to exploitation movies because the plot is this: angry animal kills people who get in the way. One could only write a movie like this around the kills, much like a slasher movie...


Therefore, is Killer Animal a type of slasher? They can often have claws for literal slashing, and they rack up a body count. How do you define the difference?


Also... recs?

#Review

What does October mean to you?

Happy October, jerks. It's that wonderful time of the year where horror is suddenly "hip" again, and everyone can act creepy or slutty and it's no big deal. October is a month for misfits, and that's why we need it!

It is cool to see a few come back for the challenge. It's a very personal challenge that isn't competitive. Only competitive against oneself. Sure, you could log your list anywhere, but you chose to log it on a website about trash. I love that.


I have a few streaming servicves to browse, and I renewed Shudder. I'll probably see Smile when that comes out, and I'll definitely see Halloween Ends when that comes out. In other words, I'm winging it, so if anyone has recommendations, let them be known. It's hard to trust my own judgment these days.



So the question...

What does October mean to you?
And what's happening on your Halloween this year?