Texas Frightmare 2022

I finally went back to this con after a two year absence. It was cancelled in 2020, and I was feeling very iffy about the post-pandemic state of conventions in 2021 and skipped that one. And for what I ended with, I probably should have skipped this year too.

I only did the Sunday pass, which runs from 11am to 5pm. I got there early to meet Brad Dourif when the lines opened at 11, and by 11:20, they shut the doors and said "Brad Dourif is done for the day." I was pissed. He was the big deal I went there to see and he shuts down at the very goddamn start of the thing!

On the plus side, I did get to meet @JennySplatter and her man Captain Splatter, who used to be the best troll on imdb's horror boards. I wouldn't be a horror fan if it weren't for that guy. I should have asked him for his autograph.


I took pictures, but I wont bother posting them because I look kinda shitty in them. I only met a few people there, and in this order:

Jeff Lieberman, director of Just Before Dawn and Satan's Little Helper. $30 for signed 8x10 and a pic with him, no line. Nice enough guy.

Devon Sawa of Idle Hands, Final Destination, Chucky, SLC Punk, and some other shit. Very nice, $60 for 8x10/pic combo, moderate line. Again, nice dude.

Leo Rossi of Halloween II and Maniac Cop 2. $40 for 8x10/pic combo, no line. This guy was the highlight of my measly adventure. Seemed really upbeat and told stories of NYC's gritty time square and how he struggled to get into character for MC2. He made the trip worthwhile.

Last visit was Bruce Davison, from X-Men, Lords of Salem, and probably a bunch of other shit you'd know. Nice guy.

---

The big deal this year was the reunions for Scream, Elm Street 3, Chucky, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre '74. I managed to catch a glimpse of most people (even Carl Weathers), but I didn't see Robert Englund anywhere, and the Elm Street 3 cast was mostly absent. If I had gone another day, I'd probably have had better luck, but on the bright side... I have tonight off of work.

Also, another gripe... NOT ENOUGH BOOBIES.

Elon Musk buys Twitter

For $44 billion. He strikes me as one of the cooler gazillionaires, so he might improve that shithole.

Box_a_Rant's Hair

I like to be innovative with this site. Even when there's not much going on, I still like to improve this place, even if nobody knows what the hell I'm doing with it.

My site ambitions tend to ping pong, but I always come back to old ideas and expand on them. Some of the useless crap I've been working on is mentioned below.

Different format for titles in the media database. Instead of one string to store the movie's name, it's now 4 fields: Surtitle, Prefix, Title, and Subtitle. It seems excessive at first, but it makes the title's pop more. It's mostly an aesthetic thing, but it also helps sort titles better alphabetically when you exclude words like 'a', 'an', and 'the'. Remember that VHS cover art thingy I made that nobody ever looked at? I might merge that into the mix too. Funny plot descriptions welcome, because they'd be used on those fake vhs/dvd covers that could be generated.

A new meaning for settings in the media database. I've gotten confused once or twice when it comes to what country a movie is considered a product of. Italy made a lot of stuff in New York, for example, and with American actors. Clearly, it isn't "made" in Italy, but it would still be considered an Italian film. If anybody wants to chime in on this, go for it. So in regards to our database, the locations are to represent the setting. In what state or country is the film set in? I intend to factor these locations into the TE game, so I'm trying to get a good system for it. Plus, it's fun to figure out the intended setting of a movie. Plus, it helped me rationalize the scope of countries on earth, and their proximity to each other.

I've renewed my interest in C# app development recently, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to interface Trash Epics server to the in-dev app, and that includes everything in the database: 'movies' will transfer to a playable campaign, 'people' would represent NPCs, and 'things' would refer to a general taxonomy of how to implement these into an RPG. There's this whole elaborate system I'm designing, all so you can play a few crappy levels of "Blood Shack", "Halloween III", and a game about my senile old co-worker getting shit on by upper management. He always claimed to be an opening act for CCR and Loverboy back in the day, but could never prove it. If I'm going to make games about shitty movies and concession stand employees, I need to get the little details right.


So there you have it. I've been sorta doing things, but mostly not. Just thought I'd say something to let you'z guys know I'm not neglecting my TE ideas. TE is always my favorite priority in life.

Trash Challenge 2022 Results

I've been meaning to go over these, so here goes...

235 @Tromafreak
161 @Ballz
110 @Box_a_Hair
87 @Johan_WoW
65 @markus-san
31 @ZombieCPA
31 @vortexsurfer
23 @OnyxHades
18 @NoseOfNicko

As usual, Tromafreak puts us all to shame when it comes to trash. We must all aspire to be more like him.

I did okay, and I'll blame my work schedule for my not being more productive with my viewings. My favorites FTVs were Switchblade Sisters, Bad Boy Bubby, and Another Dirty Movie. House by the Cemetery was surprisingly decent too. I didn't get as many FTVs as I would have liked, but there were some classics in my rewatches to keep me going.

As usual, trash money has been awarded.

Give your thoughts on the junk you watched.

Animation Easter mini-challenge 2022

Kids are off school for the Easter holidays (which obviously only applies to parents like me) so hey what better time to get some cartoons watched - kiddy suitable, or erm otherwise...

Rules:

- You get one point per minute watched.

- All forms of animation count, including live action mixed with animation, i.e. Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

- Feature length, TV shows, shorts - they all count.

- The challenge will run from 00:00 this Friday 8th April and last until 23:59 on Saturday 30th April.

- Make your SPOT below!

Death Wish 3

The women die quickly and the men to do all the dirty work. People cheer after an old white guy shoots a black man in the street. The police encourage a vigilante to kill adolescents and delinquents. New York is really painted in a urban grit where gang violence has taken over. Does Paul Kersey really need a bazooka? Yes, he absolutely needs to fire one off in the boss fight, and Jimmy Page needs to score it.

Part of me entertained the idea to humanize the gangs, which isn't the movie's intention. I wonder how he would react if The Warriors were thrown into the mix. Would he kill them without hestitation like all the other scum on the streets? Or would he let them go back to Coney Island? Damn modern times trying to tell me the violent retaliation in this movie wouldn't fly at all if it were made today, but God bless the 80s.

#Review

I'll say stuff about Trash 

Maybe I'll do some mini-reviews this month...

Trash Challenge VI: If He Can't Take A Joke, He Stinks!



I hope everybody's in the mood because it's happening again! Trash month is almost here. And for the sixth year in a row, we will explore the offbeat, the obscure, the unrealistically gory, and hopefully something nice and traumatizing to dream about during nappy time. So, join me... or don't. You can go trim your ass hairs with some garden shears for all I care. I'm watching some trash!


As always, it'll be one point for every trashy quality below. It doesn't have to be a significant amount of anything. As long as it exists.


Nudity

Gore

Rape

Hardcore Penetration

Incest

Drug Use

Cannibalism

Intentionally Bad Qualities

Video Nasties - Any movie to ever appear on this list.

SOV - Anything shot-on-video from the 80's and 90's, or beyond, if you know of anything.

Beastiality

Necrophilia

Racism - One point for racist characters, or any type of blatant racism expressed.

Retards - Any characters who appears to be mentally handicapped is good for a point.

Garbage Point - One point earned if you genuinely hate the movie and have a difficult time making it through.

FTV (First Time Viewing)

Pleasure Point - One point earned for each orgasm you provide for yourself whilst viewing a trash epic.


And then, there's the Trifectas. Instead of using directors and series, the Trash Challenge trifectas are all about the old Exploitation sub genres.

Sexploitation, Blaxploitation, Drugsploitation, Hixploitation, Hippiesploitation, Nazisploitation, Bikersploitation, Canuxploitation, Ozploitation, Nunsploitation, Bruceploitation, Fowlsploitation, Rape/Revenge, Lezbo-Vamp, Women In Prison, Jungle Cannibal Epics, Mondo/Shockumentaries, Nudie Cuties/Nudist Camp bullshit, Giallos, Throwbacks


3 in a row from any of the above sploitations will count as a trifecta.

A movie can only count towards one trifecta.

Single Trifecta - 5 points

Double Trifecta - 7 points

Triple Trifecta - 9 points

Etc.

Films must run no less than 40 minutes to count.

This challenge will be for the month of March.

Good fucking luck!



I https://trashepics.com/post/9/105/
II https://trashepics.com/post/9/186/
III https://trashepics.com/post/9/229/
IV https://trashepics.com/post/9/236/
V https://trashepics.com/post/9/247/

It's possible to make a good dirty movie

That's the mantra of Ti West's 'X', his 1979 rural Texas grindhouse throwback. It's a well crafted horror flick about dirty subject matter, which is sort of a commentary about the line between art and smut. I'll be vague with the story recap, but my plot description is as follows:

An amateur porn film crew is terrorized by the sex lives of old people.

It's also a bit like Tobe Hooper's Eaten Alive. And regarding the old people, that's why this movie is gross. Old people are a gross, tragic bunch in this flick, and they're also a combination of senile, stubborn, and devious. Especially when they're in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre type of environment.

Jenna Ortega is so cute. She's on her way to being a scream queen, but we wont get to see her naked. Mia Goth goes topless instead, and she's our lead. Maybe that's an homage to Tobe Hooper's Funhouse, in which the leading lady in that one also provided nudity. Brittany Snow is also pretty chill about baring flesh. This movie has its fair share of nudity, but not all of it is good nudity, FYI.

Not really a spoiler: The prequel's teaser is the post-credits scene, set about 60 years before this movie. I suppose Ti West wanted to make good use of his setting, because it's ideal for an isolated horror show, which is X-actly what X is there to give you.

#Review

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: The Novel

So, two years after the fact, Tarantino decided to turn his latest movie into a novel.

It's definitely an interesting read for fans of the movie. It tells the same story, but from somewhat of a different perspective. There are things in the book that are not in the movie, and things from the movie not in the book. And some things are told in a different order. It's pretty decent, I would definitely recommend it for Tarantino heads.

But there are many moments in the book that just go off on long tangents giving history lessons about different directors and movies. Things that have absolutely nothing to do with the plot, just Tarantino nerding out for no reason, as he is one to do. Should have expected that.