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one of those plonkers 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Fear Street Trilogy 2021

I don't have a whole hell of a lot to say about these, but they were all right. As far as "modern" horror slasher types go, this was a cut above the rest. The various time frames is reminiscent of American Horror Story, only it doesn't suck ass. We didn't have all that dumb meta shit, the sets and costumes were spot on, the slashers were cool looking, it was definitely gory, the characters were likeable, and the soundtrack was fantastic. I felt like I was back in the 90s with the songs and styles and blacklight posters and whatnot.

I think I like 1978 most because camp slashers are always fun to me, but none of them were bad. For some reason, I tend not to care so much about witchcraft/crucible stuff, but wasn't this series set in Ohio? Did Ohio even have settlers way back then?

1978 > 1994 Part 1 > 1994 Part 2 > 1666
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White Ape * 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Oct. Challenge 2021 progress - Halfway point update!

OK we're just over half way through the month so I thought I would give you an update on who has already completed the challenge, who is on track and who really needs to put in a bit of work...

Already done and dusted:
Vincent - 47 (23)
Box - 43 (26)
Ballz - 43 (22)
Troma - 42 (36)
Deferenz - 32 (20)
insanislupus 31 - (31)

On track for glory:
Johan - 29 (26)
ebossert - 29 (19)
triggerhappy - 25 (25)
Nicko - 22 (20)
markus - 21 (19)
Onyx - 21 (13)
Brett - 19 (11)
Baseball - 18 (10)
jimb - 17 (17)

Needs to play catch the β€’beepβ€’ up:
Amon - 13 (12)
shroud - 12 (9)
seth - 8 (??)
zed - 6 (6)
Zombie - 6 (6)
ConditionedResponse - 0 (0)β€’

β€’Presume abandoned

emoticon
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one of those plonkers 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Halloween Kills - No Spoilers

This movie was fucking CRAZY. It picks up right after Halloween 2018 and doesn't have to waste time with exposition, but there are a few recaps for anyone dumb enough to jump into this sequel without having seen the last one. In addition to recaps, they also have some extended backstories to the original 1978 events, which are pretty glorious in their own right.

Jamie Lee is back of course, but not in the capacity you would expect. The last movie was her film. This movie is about the carnage and chaos erupting in the aftermath of those events. Michael was calm and collected in the last movie, but this time, he is PISSED! The bodycount is the highest of the entire franchise, because it has to live up to the name, right? And these kills aren't quick and to the point. Michael takes out his aggressions on people and savors these kills. No one is safe.

Some of the reviews are mixed, and I'm assuming it's because people are expecting a more formulaic slasher, but this isn't your typical slasher at all. Slasher films tend to be isolated and away from authorities, but this movie is out in the open and everybody is reacting out of fear and anger. It's a very busy film, but I was sucked in 100%.

The cast does a great job here. You'll see a lot of legacy characters, as well as returning characters from 2018 (even if they only appear as dead bodies). You'll be shocked at times, but you'll also be pleasantly surprised at others. Tyler Mane may have been 7 feet tall, but James Jude Courtney would make Hobo Myers shit himself. It's going to be hard for Halloween Ends to top this shit!

#Review
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Drunk Person 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Film Idea

Just had this dream, and it would make a nice film so I'm putting it in the public domain, though will need rewoeking as since it was a dream things prolly don't make sense.

Scene: small town of 500-1000 ppl by the sea somewhere in NZ. The main character about 35 white, A works in a fish processing factory , turning small fish into fertilizer, his supervisor is a maori guy B. A is fed up at work and gets an idea to turn some of this fish into food flavoring instead to make his own brand of potato chips. He steals a 10kg bag of ground fish meal from work, B catches him, A manages to convince B to keep quiet cause hes following his dream, he goes home and actually manages to make some amazing tasting crisps, takes some to work B is impressed.


A starts to think this is my way to leave his deadend job, scouts around for a place to set up business, manages to find an old abandoned factory/house on a sea cliff with sea caves underneath it, gets a loan from the bank and gets a mortgage on it.


He kills a lady by mistake and hides the body in the cellar / caves under the factory ( I think In my dream this happened first but anyways not too sure on how this went down). Some days later A convinces B to make a partnership with him and become millionaires making chips, as A needs more cash for equipment also, eventually B agrees and moves in with him, B has a 10 year old son who comes also. They also convince an office lady C to come as well. In town the lady who runs the local shop happened to work in a chip factory to the north, she helps them get the equipment for a good price.


A has started drinking quite a bit at this stage, brought on by the guilt no doubt and the stress of the business. They manage to produce the initial trial batch of chips, bagged and packaged and send them off, later that day they discover some crabs in the factory. A realizes he left a window open by mistake in the factory, then they realize Oh fuck the chips, perhaps they have contaminated the samples they sent off to the distributor and since they can't fuck up this initial run, they chase after the truck, manage to catch it rip open the packets onto the floor but it seems as if they were all good. Relieved they go back to the factory to produce another trial batch.


Some days later A and B are at the pub to celebrate their venture, A is quite drunk and decides to climb a pole in the middle of the dance floor, hes about 10 meters up and wants to jump into the crowd. B climbs up after him and manages to drag him back down. I'm in the crowd and saying B should of let A jump he would of been alright, in catalonia ppl fall from that height from towers built from human bodies all the time and are caught without injury (I just had a bit role in my dream)


Some weeks later business is chugging along, not too great but making ends, flies and maggots start appearing in the factory, C is a cleanliness freak and starts scrubbing down the place with chemicals, A goes into the attic sees some maggots coming from the walls and some more crabs, in his drunken stupor decides he needs to seal up the seacave where he put the mody, that will stop the invasion of vermin. Goes down mixes cement and starts putting it everywhere over all the crannies, crushing crabs underfoot in a manic state, things are OK for a few days.


Until a stormy day with the wind howling where maggots are just raining out of the ceiling and from the walls (bubblebees were in my dream as well and the lady tries to kill them with flyspray, but this doesnt fit so ditch this) A is completely manic at this stage, sees a 30liter tub full of writing maggots and tips it over B's head and knocks him out, the kid decides hes had enough and runs for his bike, he was gonna escape, A chases him (in my dream the kid pulls out a hand gun and shoots him in the leg then crotch but this doesnt make sense and it finishes)(Obviously needs a better ending)
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Trash Person * 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
The Medium (2021) is horrendously overrated

Just finished watching this Thai/Korean co-production on Shudder and it bored the crap out of me.

The director is the man who gave us "Shutter", "Alone" and the "Phobia" movies. All good. The producer is the man who directed "The Chaser, "The Yellow Sea" and "The Wailing." This movie should have been way better than it turned out.

If I had to describe "The Medium" in one word, it would be "boring." 2 hours and 11 minutes is not justified here.

This movie takes a long time to get going. There's no forboding atmosphere at all. The opening hour is very dry. For as much exposition as we get in this movie, there's practically no intricacy or complexity to the folklore. It's all so basic. And how many times do we need to see the young niece Ming character run to the restroom and throw hissy fits? It's so repetitive and adds no depth.

The acting is good, the direction is good, and the production values are good. But the scriptwriting and story bored me out of my mind.

We're in a position where the scares need to save the movie. We get a few very brief creep-outs during the middle section, one of which is a brief image that's standing on a dark road. Most of the little "chills and spills" are short-lived and completely forgettable. The first big jump scare . . . I predicted it to the second. There are some night-vision recordings of the girl acting strange during the night, which were pretty good. There was a bit of eeriness to those. The best scenes in the movie are right near the end. There's one involving a baby crying. The big finale is okay β€” not bad.

I give this a 2.5/5. I enjoyed "The Maid" (2020), another recent Thai horror film, a lot more than this one.
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one of those plonkers 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Goofy IMDb Headshots

Joe Pilato
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0683334/

David Gale
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0301834/

Christine Kossak
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0467282/

And the best ever...

John Amplas
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0025355/

Anymore?
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one of those plonkers 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Blood Feast 2016

As far as remakes go, this wasn't shit. It always helps when the movie being remade is shitty from the get-go because you might have room for improvement in that case. Here, production values are better than both BF movies, but are we really going into a movie like this for production values?

Robert "Elm Street 2 Grady" Rusler plays the new Fuad Ramses, a family man who moved to France to run a not-so-successul diner business with his wife Caroline "Stretch" Williams. Already, the cast is alright. As luck would have it, Fuad goes off his meds and starts having visions of Ishtar.

This movie takes a while for anything to happen. Sure, they had a gory intro credits, but it feels more like a flashy opening than an actual part of the narrative, whereas the original starts off with our antagonist already mad and abruptly killing. There was no buildup before because the movie was intended to be dumb, and the remake tries to play it a bit more serious. It's not necessarily a bad direction, but it isn't as memorable and lacks the camp value.

Ol' Herschell Gordon Lewis has a cameo as Professor Lou Herschell, reminding us of the good ol' days. For a movie called Blood Feast, the gore is more realistic, but there isn't that much of it. The ending is different and intended to be more deranged, but nothing will compare to the real Fuad "dying a fitting end for the garbage he was."

#Review
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one of those plonkers 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Halloween Resurrection

I used to think this movie was bad, but it's worse than bad. It's one of the dumbest money grabs I've ever had the misfortune of seeing.

We'll start with the god-awful retcon... In H20, Laurie gives Michael a slew of stabbings to the chest before he falls off the second-story balcony. While she's headed down the stairs to give him the final blow, a paramedic finds him and examines him before Michael awakens and rises to his feet to crush the guy's throat. Michael proceeds to undress himself, then undress the paramedic, then redress himself in the paramedic's clothes, then redress the paramedic in his clothes, position him exactly as he fell, stab the knife into his chest, and casually walk away ALL BEFORE Laurie can make it down a single goddamn set of stairs.

Then we have that shitty asylum scene where all the guards are either incredibly scarce or incredibly inept, and somehow, Laurie has the gall to escape and set a trap within 5 seconds of getting to the rooftop and...

Ugh... Why am I bothering explaining this to any of you? We all know it's the dumbest shit in the entire franchise. Even worse than H6's convoluted cult garbage, and worse than Rob Zombie's shit-stains on the series.

Rick Rosenthal directed this entry, and John Carpenter admitted that H2's production was subpar on Rick's account and required his intervention to make it the honorable entry it is. So they brought back that guy to make this stupid fucking movie as if he was a respected series veteran.

"How can we make this movie any worse?" the producers asked. Well, cast Busta Rhymes and cater to a juvenile MTV crowd and use a shitty angry-looking mask instead of an emotionless mask, and let them all dig their own graves with their own stupidity.

I don't understand how our victims felt so trapped in the Myers' house. It's a small fucking house! There's no excuse for it. Oh no, he's coming after you! But don't dare drop off the second story and run for help, because that's not in the script! The script calls for us to ignore common sense and act like a bunch of cunts.

This movie made me embarrassed to be not only a franchise fan, but a horror fan in general. It's a disgrace, and it wasn't the only turd in 2002. This movie fucking SUCKS.

#Review
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Trash Person * 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
The Evil Cat (2008?)

I came across this DVD at a swap meet. Never heard of it, so thought I would give it a whirl.
My GOD, what a piece of shit. After watching it, I did a little research. It is not on IMDB, but it IS on TMDB.
The first half was filmed in probably mid to late 90s, and includes wonderful scenes, such as having camera sitting on the floor filming a wall for about two minutes while the action was in a different room.
The second half was filmed probably 2008, and has (I'm guessing) at least five minutes of a guy driving around swearing about something.
When the writer and the director and the producer and the composer and the editor and the fx designer and the cameraman and the wardrobe and the sound effects guy is also the star, you've got issues. When said person was twelve when the first half was shot, it just takes everything down another notch.
I think it might have been filmed here where I live, as at least three of the people involved have names that match local residents.
It's almost worth tracking one down and just holding the DVD up and saying "You?"
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one of those plonkers 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Do you ever have Nightmares?

I never dream. It's not that I dream and forget what I dream about, because I would at least remember that I don't remember what the dream was about. For some damn reason, I had sooo many dreams last night, and they were all NIGHTMARES!

If I were to go into detail about all of it, they wouldn't seem nearly as frightening or engaging as they were to me, but the gist of it is that I continually fell asleep, had a nightmare, and woke up in a sweat since I'd exhausted myself in the process of mentally running from all sorts of things: a slasher in a shopping mall, then fast and hungry zombies in a mall and then a trailer park, then Hodder's Jason (the most intimidating Jason), then even a brief run-in with Freddy himself. Each time, trying to reach higher ground that the threats would ascend to or would or cause to collapse back to ground level. I couldn't catch a break.

Ironically, I've had far more nightmares about Jason in my life than I've ever had about Freddy, so this was a real pleasant surprise. Yes, I say pleasant because I love getting nightmares. My mind can never rest if my dream avatar is running for his goddamn "life", so it's a total thrill to me.

But wait! I fall back asleep and get right back to the weirdness! Next thing you know, I have some more dreams dealing with outer space sci-fi, zombies again, VR gone bad, government cover-ups, and then being chased by the goddamn Hulk.

Safe to say, I'm pretty exhaused by all this, but it might have been the greatest nightmare experience of my life.


Have you ever had a slew of nightmares like this?
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