Fire Twister 2015
Remember when tornado movies were all the rage? Yeah, neither do I. But for some reason, regular tornados weren't cutting it anymore. That's why they needed to utilize some elemental nonsense, hence... Fire Twister!
Featuring the greatest actor in the world, Casper Van Dien, Fire Twister is a movie about a somehow manmade fire tornado that a fire fighter (Casper) and a group of something-or-others must put a stop to. But wait, there's more! There are also mercenaries in this movie trying to put an end to the heroes, only after framing them for the weird unnatural disaster. Some corporate conspiracy bullshit, but whatever. Somehow, it ends up being pretty entertaining.
I wont say this movie is good. No no no, it's pretty fucking stupid, but quite enjoyable. There's a scene where they have to help a woman get her baby out of a tree. Casper starts climbing, reassuring her everything is okay, then begins tugging on the stroller until it falls down and all he's left with is... some baby doll? The mother gets relieved, "Oh, that's just my kid's doll," like everything is okay. We never find out where the baby actually went, but fuck it. We need to get back to stopping that tornado, whilst running from mercenaries!
When people get sucked into the fire twister, it's pretty hilarious. Apparently, the only way to stop a tornado in these movies is to blow something up in the center of it. That's what they do in the Sharknado movies, so it must be science. Sheer science!
Eventually, they fill a fire truck up with gasoline so they can make it into a literal fire truck, because the fire tornado is attracted to heat. Kinda like how those Sharknados are only attracted to Ian Zerring, but we'll forgive this bogus movie logic, because it's funny. I give this movie some rating out of a number.
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October Challenge 2022 - The Results
Another October done and dusted. Firstly a big congrats to all of those who managed to complete the challenge and hit that magic 31 (and waaaayyyy beyond for many). I for one literally left it to the last minute 😦. But well done 1. Ballz and 2. Vince for trouncing everyone again and also to Troma for the most FTVs. Here are the results in full:
SMASHED IT!
Ballz - 114 (53)
Vince - 109 (27)
Troma - 80 (58)
Nicko - 62 (36)
Box - 57 (50)
jimb - 56 (55)
conditioned - 44 (18)
Brett - 43 (22)
Deferenz - 40 (26)
PASSED THE TEST!
Zombie - 35 (31)
Shroud - 34 (21)
Baseball - 32 (16)
zed - 31 (31)
Trigger - 31 (27)
markus - 31 (19)
FELL AT THE HURDLE!
Onyx - 17 (9)
So what was your favourite FTV? And your least favourite?
Favourites:
Pearl (2022) - Probably one of the best performances you will ever see in any horror movie. Ever.
Barbarian (2022) - Wasn't a huge fan of the "third act" but still one of the best horror movies of the year without question.
Terrifier 2 (2022) and The Sadness (2021) - Both contain some of the most brilliant (and downright disturbing) practical gore you will ever see.
Least favourite: Halloween Ends (2022) - Michael hires an apprentice!
Another October done and dusted. Firstly a big congrats to all of those who managed to complete the challenge and hit that magic 31 (and waaaayyyy beyond for many). I for one literally left it to the last minute 😦. But well done 1. Ballz and 2. Vince for trouncing everyone again and also to Troma for the most FTVs. Here are the results in full:
SMASHED IT!
Ballz - 114 (53)
Vince - 109 (27)
Troma - 80 (58)
Nicko - 62 (36)
Box - 57 (50)
jimb - 56 (55)
conditioned - 44 (18)
Brett - 43 (22)
Deferenz - 40 (26)
PASSED THE TEST!
Zombie - 35 (31)
Shroud - 34 (21)
Baseball - 32 (16)
zed - 31 (31)
Trigger - 31 (27)
markus - 31 (19)
FELL AT THE HURDLE!
Onyx - 17 (9)
So what was your favourite FTV? And your least favourite?
Favourites:
Pearl (2022) - Probably one of the best performances you will ever see in any horror movie. Ever.
Barbarian (2022) - Wasn't a huge fan of the "third act" but still one of the best horror movies of the year without question.
Terrifier 2 (2022) and The Sadness (2021) - Both contain some of the most brilliant (and downright disturbing) practical gore you will ever see.
Least favourite: Halloween Ends (2022) - Michael hires an apprentice!
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2022 Turkey Hunt
1) Use IMDb ratings.
1.0 = 6 points.
1.1-1.9 = 5 points.
2.0-2.9 = 4 points.
3.0-3.9 = 3 points.
4.0-4.4 = 2 points
4.5-4.9 = 1 point.
2) First time view = 1 point.
3) Can be any genre.
4) Trifectas. Director actors, and series. For director and actors you can bunch siblings and parent / children or grandparent / grandchildren.
5) A movie can only count towards one trifecta.Single Trifecta - 5 pointsDouble Trifecta - 7 pointsTriple Trifecta - 9 pointsEtc.
6) 1 bonus point if there is at least one penis shown in the movie. A total of 3 bonus points if the penis is decapitated during the movie.
😦
7) Movies with 5.0 ratings or better don't count for any points.
8) Must be at least 45 minutes long for full credit. Half credit for films between 25 and 44 minutes.
9) Start - 12:01 AM on November 1.End - You must start you last movie prior to November 30 11:59 PM.
1) Use IMDb ratings.
1.0 = 6 points.
1.1-1.9 = 5 points.
2.0-2.9 = 4 points.
3.0-3.9 = 3 points.
4.0-4.4 = 2 points
4.5-4.9 = 1 point.
2) First time view = 1 point.
3) Can be any genre.
4) Trifectas. Director actors, and series. For director and actors you can bunch siblings and parent / children or grandparent / grandchildren.
5) A movie can only count towards one trifecta.Single Trifecta - 5 pointsDouble Trifecta - 7 pointsTriple Trifecta - 9 pointsEtc.
6) 1 bonus point if there is at least one penis shown in the movie. A total of 3 bonus points if the penis is decapitated during the movie.
😦7) Movies with 5.0 ratings or better don't count for any points.
8) Must be at least 45 minutes long for full credit. Half credit for films between 25 and 44 minutes.
9) Start - 12:01 AM on November 1.End - You must start you last movie prior to November 30 11:59 PM.
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October Challenge 2022
Rules:
> At least 31 horror films must be watched during the month of October. 16 of these must be FTVs (first time viewings).
> You get 1 "point" per movie watched.
> Runtime is 45 minutes minimum.
> Kiddy-friendly "Halloween themed" movies will be permitted as long as there is some element of horror or spooky fun, i.e. A Nightmare Before Christmas, Goosebumps, The Addams Family, etc.
> If unsure on whether a movie is "horror" or not, please refer to the usual suspects: IMDb, Wiki, Letterboxd, etc.
> Documentaries and TV shows will not be accepted, however mockumentaries will be.
> The challenge will begin at 00:00 hours on October 1st in your time zone.
If there is anything I have missed, let me know over in the shoutbox. Use it for discussions too.
Previous year threads:
https://trashepics.com/post/9/160/
https://trashepics.com/post/9/218/
https://trashepics.com/post/142/130/
https://trashepics.com/post/30/34/
https://trashepics.com/post/30/38/
So make your spot and have fun!
Rules:
> At least 31 horror films must be watched during the month of October. 16 of these must be FTVs (first time viewings).
> You get 1 "point" per movie watched.
> Runtime is 45 minutes minimum.
> Kiddy-friendly "Halloween themed" movies will be permitted as long as there is some element of horror or spooky fun, i.e. A Nightmare Before Christmas, Goosebumps, The Addams Family, etc.
> If unsure on whether a movie is "horror" or not, please refer to the usual suspects: IMDb, Wiki, Letterboxd, etc.
> Documentaries and TV shows will not be accepted, however mockumentaries will be.
> The challenge will begin at 00:00 hours on October 1st in your time zone.
If there is anything I have missed, let me know over in the shoutbox. Use it for discussions too.
Previous year threads:
https://trashepics.com/post/9/160/
https://trashepics.com/post/9/218/
https://trashepics.com/post/142/130/
https://trashepics.com/post/30/34/
https://trashepics.com/post/30/38/
So make your spot and have fun!
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Shiver 2012
John Jarratt plays an eccentric weirdo psychopath who kills women because he had a bad childhood. Is this another Wolf Creek movie then? No, it's based on some random novel and he plays a very different serial killer than his Aussie-native Mick Taylor. He even has an American accent! His usual method is to garrote his victims with a steel wire and cut off their heads so he can put them in a glass jar. Sounds a bit messy, but if that's how he gets his kicks...
All is good fun for ol' John Jarratt until he sets his sights on Danielle Harris. She's the one who gives him conflicting emotions after she escapes his first murder attempt. Should I fuck her, or should I kill her? Hmm... Obviously, I would prefer the first option, but he's not so sure.
While his fixation on sweet Danielle manifests, detectives Casper Van Dien and Rae Dawn Chong are on the hunt for him, and there's your movie. Danielle gives a good performance, but the movie isn't great by any means. Decent production values and a moderate amount of blood and violence aren't enough to make this movie stand out. The story isn't as tense as it wants to be, but it's far from the worst.
I did think it was funny that when he fantasizes about her, they flash images of her famous sexy photo shoot of her in her underwear on the bed.
#Review
John Jarratt plays an eccentric weirdo psychopath who kills women because he had a bad childhood. Is this another Wolf Creek movie then? No, it's based on some random novel and he plays a very different serial killer than his Aussie-native Mick Taylor. He even has an American accent! His usual method is to garrote his victims with a steel wire and cut off their heads so he can put them in a glass jar. Sounds a bit messy, but if that's how he gets his kicks...
All is good fun for ol' John Jarratt until he sets his sights on Danielle Harris. She's the one who gives him conflicting emotions after she escapes his first murder attempt. Should I fuck her, or should I kill her? Hmm... Obviously, I would prefer the first option, but he's not so sure.
While his fixation on sweet Danielle manifests, detectives Casper Van Dien and Rae Dawn Chong are on the hunt for him, and there's your movie. Danielle gives a good performance, but the movie isn't great by any means. Decent production values and a moderate amount of blood and violence aren't enough to make this movie stand out. The story isn't as tense as it wants to be, but it's far from the worst.
I did think it was funny that when he fantasizes about her, they flash images of her famous sexy photo shoot of her in her underwear on the bed.
#Review
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Skeleton Man 2004
Based on the poster art I saw, I would expect this movie to be a body horror in the likes of The Incredible Melting Man or Monsturd. That's not what this movie is. Not at all.
Two dull archaeologists brag about unearthing some trinket from an Indian burial ground, and that usually entails some cliche shaman magic. The skeleton man appears and kills the shit out of them as soon as the movie starts. I guess he's supposed to be some vengeful spirit or something. He's dressed in a black cloak, his face is a skull, and he has superhuman strength. Plus, there's some bad editing that allows his attacks to always hit people no matter what their proximity is to him. It's clear that the producers think he is a very cool character, but is he? Is he really?
Now, the main plot kicks into gear. An elite team of special forces mercenaries head into the woods to rescue another team, only to be plagued by the phantom hunter who picks them off one by one. Sounds a lot like Predator, huh? Well, this movie is a total rip-off of Predator, except instead of bodybuilders like Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers, you've got Michael Rooker and Casper Van Dien.
The setup is very reminiscent of the aforementioned film. The villain has his own predator-vision, and they even rip-off some direct lines from Predator, like, "If it breathes, we can kill it." Not so subtle in your influences, huh? And to think, just a few years earlier, Michael Rooker was starring in theatrical movies, including one with the actual Schwarzenegger. Now, he's in this DTV drek.
For a movie with a 2.1 on IMDb, it's a lot more watchable than you would expect. However, it does get pretty redundant when the same shit happens over and over again. Everyone is either a terrible shot, or their bullets have no effect on skeleton man. Then he kills more people, over and over again. There's no real insight given to him or his intentions other than some tribal savage native going on a killing spree, as told by some old native who really loves beans. He wont answer any questions unless you bring him a can of beans, because beans are some kind of magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you... don't give a shit about anything that goes on in this movie. He's indestructible. We get it.
Eventually, this movie does end, and for a movie such a gnarly opening, the result is underwhelming. But it's a great way to get some turkey points, especially if you want to strive for a Casper Van Dien trifecta. That guy is in all kinds of garbage movies.
#Review
Based on the poster art I saw, I would expect this movie to be a body horror in the likes of The Incredible Melting Man or Monsturd. That's not what this movie is. Not at all.
Two dull archaeologists brag about unearthing some trinket from an Indian burial ground, and that usually entails some cliche shaman magic. The skeleton man appears and kills the shit out of them as soon as the movie starts. I guess he's supposed to be some vengeful spirit or something. He's dressed in a black cloak, his face is a skull, and he has superhuman strength. Plus, there's some bad editing that allows his attacks to always hit people no matter what their proximity is to him. It's clear that the producers think he is a very cool character, but is he? Is he really?
Now, the main plot kicks into gear. An elite team of special forces mercenaries head into the woods to rescue another team, only to be plagued by the phantom hunter who picks them off one by one. Sounds a lot like Predator, huh? Well, this movie is a total rip-off of Predator, except instead of bodybuilders like Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers, you've got Michael Rooker and Casper Van Dien.
The setup is very reminiscent of the aforementioned film. The villain has his own predator-vision, and they even rip-off some direct lines from Predator, like, "If it breathes, we can kill it." Not so subtle in your influences, huh? And to think, just a few years earlier, Michael Rooker was starring in theatrical movies, including one with the actual Schwarzenegger. Now, he's in this DTV drek.
For a movie with a 2.1 on IMDb, it's a lot more watchable than you would expect. However, it does get pretty redundant when the same shit happens over and over again. Everyone is either a terrible shot, or their bullets have no effect on skeleton man. Then he kills more people, over and over again. There's no real insight given to him or his intentions other than some tribal savage native going on a killing spree, as told by some old native who really loves beans. He wont answer any questions unless you bring him a can of beans, because beans are some kind of magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you... don't give a shit about anything that goes on in this movie. He's indestructible. We get it.
Eventually, this movie does end, and for a movie such a gnarly opening, the result is underwhelming. But it's a great way to get some turkey points, especially if you want to strive for a Casper Van Dien trifecta. That guy is in all kinds of garbage movies.
#Review
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Rank the Halloween series
For those of us who have seen them all.
I can't say they're all as fresh in my mind as the new one, but I'm pretty sure this is where I stand...
Original
Halloween (2018)
Halloween Kills
Halloween Ends
Halloween 3
Halloween H2o
Halloween 2
Halloween 4
Halloween 5
Resurrection
Halloween 6
For those of us who have seen them all.
I can't say they're all as fresh in my mind as the new one, but I'm pretty sure this is where I stand...
Original
Halloween (2018)
Halloween Kills
Halloween Ends
Halloween 3
Halloween H2o
Halloween 2
Halloween 4
Halloween 5
Resurrection
Halloween 6
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Leatherface: TCM III (1990)
Not even remotely worth writing a review for, but thought I'd say something after giving this one yet another shot last night. Yeah, I'm just not feeling this one. Never will.
What the hell happened here? That was a pretty sweet trailer they had there, but what a mediocre, somewhat pointless attempt at keeping a series going. The first one is legendary for a reason. Genuinely scary. TCM2 was almost equally as good, but in a more crazy 80's slasher kinda way, which I think was a wise route to take at that point. Part 4, of course, is the one literally everyone on the planet hates except Fuad. But this Leatherface movie is just kinda there. It's not that bad, it's certainly not that good, but does anyone give a fuck about this movie or even have opinions one way or the other?
And I'm still not entirely sure if this is supposed to be Leatherface from 1&2 (well, obviously not 2), or just some similar character. Who's all those people he's lving with? Like a foster family? And is that supposed to be the same grandpa? That fucker is clearly long dead. Are they ever all that clear on how we got from the original to this one? Because I'm pretty sure that narration in the beginning doesn't clear up as much as it should.
Not even remotely worth writing a review for, but thought I'd say something after giving this one yet another shot last night. Yeah, I'm just not feeling this one. Never will.
What the hell happened here? That was a pretty sweet trailer they had there, but what a mediocre, somewhat pointless attempt at keeping a series going. The first one is legendary for a reason. Genuinely scary. TCM2 was almost equally as good, but in a more crazy 80's slasher kinda way, which I think was a wise route to take at that point. Part 4, of course, is the one literally everyone on the planet hates except Fuad. But this Leatherface movie is just kinda there. It's not that bad, it's certainly not that good, but does anyone give a fuck about this movie or even have opinions one way or the other?
And I'm still not entirely sure if this is supposed to be Leatherface from 1&2 (well, obviously not 2), or just some similar character. Who's all those people he's lving with? Like a foster family? And is that supposed to be the same grandpa? That fucker is clearly long dead. Are they ever all that clear on how we got from the original to this one? Because I'm pretty sure that narration in the beginning doesn't clear up as much as it should.
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Olwen Fouere (from Mandy)
I'm not sure where to post this. I just think it's interesting. In anybody here is into Celtic stuff, or maybe if you ever went through a little period when you were into it and spent time googling Celtic stuff or clicking around about that topic on Wikipedia, you might enjoy this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olwen_Fou%C3%A9r%C3%A9
This lady was in Mandy. Apparently her parents were ethnic Bretons, from the Brittany area of France. It looks like they probably spoke the Breton Celtic language, or at least her dad did. She was born and raised in southwestern Ireland.. I imagine that quite a few people in that area would have still spoken Irish, when she was a child. Wikipedia says she performs, as an actress, in both French and English, but it is interesting to speculate that she may know some Breton and Irish Gaelic as well.
I just think that is striking. I don't think I have ever encountered anybody with that combination of heritages before, someone of Breton ancestry but Irish citizenship. Plenty of people have ancestry from the Celtic nations or regions, but their ancestors long ago moved to London, the USA, or some other major global geopolitical and economic hub, for the opportunities. I bet a lot of young Bretons move to Paris, for example.
OK, I guess I was right to find this striking. Look, her dad, Yann Fouere, helped found this organization. He was super active in Pan-Celtic identity.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celtic_League
I'm not sure where to post this. I just think it's interesting. In anybody here is into Celtic stuff, or maybe if you ever went through a little period when you were into it and spent time googling Celtic stuff or clicking around about that topic on Wikipedia, you might enjoy this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olwen_Fou%C3%A9r%C3%A9
This lady was in Mandy. Apparently her parents were ethnic Bretons, from the Brittany area of France. It looks like they probably spoke the Breton Celtic language, or at least her dad did. She was born and raised in southwestern Ireland.. I imagine that quite a few people in that area would have still spoken Irish, when she was a child. Wikipedia says she performs, as an actress, in both French and English, but it is interesting to speculate that she may know some Breton and Irish Gaelic as well.
I just think that is striking. I don't think I have ever encountered anybody with that combination of heritages before, someone of Breton ancestry but Irish citizenship. Plenty of people have ancestry from the Celtic nations or regions, but their ancestors long ago moved to London, the USA, or some other major global geopolitical and economic hub, for the opportunities. I bet a lot of young Bretons move to Paris, for example.
OK, I guess I was right to find this striking. Look, her dad, Yann Fouere, helped found this organization. He was super active in Pan-Celtic identity.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celtic_League
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RZ Halloween (2007)
So I rewatched this for the first time in a long time. I was never a big fan of it but I never understood the hate for it at the same time. I think I do now in retrospect. The first half of the film isn't terrible imo, the cutoff point where it really goes downhill for me is after Michael escapes and kills Ken Foree in the rest stop bathroom stall. I am a big fan of McDowell and Dourif but they're wasted here. Sheri Moon is terrible and grating per usual. I recall liking 2 the Directors Cut better than the first as long as you ignored Sheri Moon and those ridiculous white horse scenes. Any thoughts?
So I rewatched this for the first time in a long time. I was never a big fan of it but I never understood the hate for it at the same time. I think I do now in retrospect. The first half of the film isn't terrible imo, the cutoff point where it really goes downhill for me is after Michael escapes and kills Ken Foree in the rest stop bathroom stall. I am a big fan of McDowell and Dourif but they're wasted here. Sheri Moon is terrible and grating per usual. I recall liking 2 the Directors Cut better than the first as long as you ignored Sheri Moon and those ridiculous white horse scenes. Any thoughts?
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