Nicholas Brendon and Blood on the Highway

@owl got me to tag along with her to an event in Dallas in which Nicholas Brendan of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" fame was holding a gathering of sorts to hang out with his fans. He does these things pretty regularly, and this one was at some random-ass house of only about 20 people. Mostly 30+ year old female Buffy fans who have watched the show too many times...



Owl's met him before at a few of these things, because she's a Buffy nut. I'm more of a casual fan, so I just wanted him to sign my "Blood on the Highway" dvd and get a signed 8x10.




Funny enough, his girlfriend/manager hadn't even heard of the movie. Then, later on, I asked him about it, and he said he hasn't even seen the movie. 🥴 He did recall his scenes, his dialogue, and that the movie was filmed nearby, though.





So how was the man himself? Super hyped up, that's for sure. Very friendly, but he was bouncing all over the place, telling stories, watching a couple fan-favorite episodes, and being very patient with owl's obnoxious brother, who was getting off-topic and following him around wherever he went. Seriously, even I was feeling embarrassed by him, but Nicholas wasn't showing any signs of annoyance by the guy, so kudos to him for that.


It was an interesting experience to be in a laid back event like this with a "pseudo-celebrity" (his words). He does these things as some form of charity for depression, and I'm sure he's on meds, because he was jazzed up the whole time. Maybe he was on speed. Very respectful and outgoing, either way.

Fun facts: He says he had sex with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Eliza Dushku, which is pretty amazing. His current girlfriend is pretty hot, too.

Cool guy. Too bad he doesn't get much work because of some domestic dispute claim from a few years ago that's biting him in the ass, but from my experience... he's all right.

True Romance (1993)

Just rewatched this and was once again struck by how amazing Patricia Arquette's tits are. Constantly squeezed into too-tight bras and jiggling with every movement she makes. I'm a huge fan of the boob jiggle. There was this Mexican restaurant near my place where I used to live a couple years ago, and the bar chick, although not especially hot, was always bursting out of her bra and showing plenty of top-boob and they would jiggle like crazy every time she popped the top off a beer bottle. Needless to say, I ordered many beers from her.

Amazing to think that, back in '93, some dude or dudes would have gotten to jizz on Patricia Arquette's tits. Sure, I'm a teensy bit disappointed that it wasn't me, but moreso just happy that someone did. Those awesome tits definitely got sprayed with jizz, and if that doesn't put a smile on your face, then you and I are very different people.

There are some schools of philosophical thought that suggest there's an infinite number of parallel universes, where an infinite number of realities play out. If that's true, then I've gotten to jizz on Patricia Arquette's tits in the True Romance era of their existence. Many, many times. And not just me. You've jizzed on those tits too. Even the ladies reading this. There are realities where you're a man and you've jizzed all over those magnificent tits. We'll have even jizzed on those tits together. Sometimes simultaneously, like an alternate universe where like, for example, me and Box and sfpx will be side-by-side, each unloading a stream of jizz, so her tits cop 3 lots of jizz at the same time. Other realities, we'll take turns, so there'll be a lineup of Trash Epics members (no pun intended), all shooting wad after wad of jizz onto her tits. In some realities, I'll get to be first. Other realities, I'll be 3rd or 5th or 8th. Regardless of the order, lots of jizz will heave up out of my balls and explode out my dickhole all over her tits. And that makes me a happy man.

Anyways, thanks for reading my review. What did you think of True Romance?

We're gunna need a bigger... yada yada yada... SHARK!

So I just watched Jaws, and I didn't particularly like it. The story developed rather slowly and I didn't find myself liking to many of the characters. It wasn't bad, but I really think the movie could have been told in 85 minutes, and may have benifitted from it. The long, silence filled scenes on the water were meant to create this feeling of overwhelming nothingness and being at the mearcing of the ocean, but for me it just kinda put me to sleep.

2019 Black & White Challenge Progress Thread



It's time once again for the Black & White Challenge. The seventh annual Black & White Challenge apparently.

I see no need to add to or otherwise change the rules. You get one point for every minute watched. As long as it's B&W, it counts. It can be a movie, TV show, short, or whatever of any genre. Tinted films are allowed. Partial color films are also allowed as long as there's more B&W than color.

Make your spots here. This challenge begins with April and ends with April.

Discussion Thread https://trashepics.com/post/8/63/

Return of the Living Dead III (1993)

Been a while since I saw this one so I figured it was time for a revisit.

I liked it. While i prefer the horror comedy tone of the first two films, this was pretty good, gory, dark stuff. I got kind of a Hellraiser vibe from it too with the BDSM fetish thing the chick did in order to suppress her undead hunger. As I said it's gory, and this had to have been the uncut version cuz some of this was downright brutal as fuck. The zombies this time around, particularly the ones that come outta the steel barrels, are truly a hideous sight. Some fantastic old school make up and latex work.

Parts of it had this sort of cringey "My So Called Life" type feel with the Romeo + Juliet plotline but overall, not too shabby.

The Thing, from The Thing's point of view

Check it out:
https://clarkesworldmagazine.com/watts_01_10/

Anyone experienced with fake IDs?

Sorry, Box, I understand if you have to take this down immediately for some legal reason.

I just want to make some fake Fletch IDs as a joke, to take to 80s Night at a pub near me. It can be very, very obvious that they are fake. I just want them to be realistic and unpathetic enough that they get a second glance, and maybe a laugh.

Apparently they sold a wallet with some fake IDs of his various identities as part of the promo for Fletch Lives. I found one on a website called Worthpoint... I'm trying to decide if it's a real website that I can trust. Anyway, if I make my own, I could customise them somehow and try to make them funny.

Anyone have any recent personal experience with this kind of thing? I imagine it couldn't be TOO difficult, especially if I'm not really trying to pass any serious scrutiny.

One Dark Night (1983)

Not much happens in this flick until the end, but it manages to maintain a nicely eerie atmosphere in any event.

For anyone who doesn't know: One Dark Night stars Meg Tilly, fresh off Psycho II, playing Julie, a timid high schooler who wants to join "The Sisters," a clique of bitchy popular girls, in order to shed her good girl image.

The Sisters have one final initiation for her: spend the night in the creepy local mausoleum. K, easy enough. Except in true '80s movie fashion, these girls have no intention of letting Julie join and only wanna scare the ever living shit out of her.

Hijinx ensue, but then the recently-deceased maniac Karl Raymar, who has telekinetic powers and just so happens to reside in the very same mausoleum Julie spends the night in (oh no!) wants one last posthumous rendezvous..

I love this movie. I have major personal attachment to it, having been one of the first horror movies I ever saw, maybe even thee first. The interior of the mausoleum looks fantastic; there's some great imagery to be had here. And of course, the highlight of One Dark Night, are the reanimated corpses Karl Raymar uses to frighten his victims to death and man are they some wonderfully icky, rotten sumbitches.

A fun little sleeper I think. Thoughts?

Black/Dark Comedy Mini Challenge Thread!

Welcome to the 2019 Black Comedy week challenge! Please makes your spots below!

Time Line
This is a 1 week challenge and will start Monday 4/15/2019 at midnight and run unti Sunday 4/21/2019 at 11:59PM, just use the honor system.

Disputes
I, the host will have final say in disputes. I will listen to both sides and make a choice, but come on I counted Cars 3 as Sci-Fi, I'm very liniant.

Requirements
Must be a Dark/Blackk/Gallow Comedy.
Must be over 50 minutes
How to earn points! (Guidelines posted below)
Dark Comedy Point (Required to get any Points)
Blue Comedy Points
Black Director Point
Black Comedy Point
Black and White Point
First Time Viewing Point
Duo Point


Dark Comedy Point
A Dark Comedy is deffined as having elements of comedy and tragedy, often involving gloomy or morbid satire. a comedy based on problems of a personal or social nature. The movie should involve things that would typically be considered taboo or difficult to process or handle if you were going through it, or in the words of Sigmond Frued when asked about his love of black comedies ""The ego refuses to be distressed by the provocations of reality, to let itself be compelled to suffer. It insists that it cannot be affected by the traumas of the external world; it shows, in fact, that such traumas are no more than occasions for it to gain pleasure."

Clearly this is somewhat subjective, but for the most part here are some guidelines
Is the subject matter a-typical for a comedy? If yes, then it's probably a black comedy, i.e. Zombies (Zombie Land), Someone Struggling with Mental Heath Issues (American Psyco/Anger Management), a Terminally Ill Person(The Bucket List), Rape(Gutter Balls), Murder(Man Bites Dog), Child Abuse(Matilda), Abortion (Me and Earl and the Dying Girl), Terrorism(Team America World Police), Being a Terrible Person(Pink Flamingos), Generally Sucking at Life (Ed Wood) etc...

Blue Comedy Point
A Blue Comedy is Deffined as a Black Comedy that revolves arround sex or gore in a way that dehumanizes or makes light of either sex or gore IE (Monty Python's the Meaning of Life). This doesn't mean anything with sex or gore counts, the sex or gore has to be what is funny.

Black Director Point
A movie directed by a black person.

Black Comedy Point
A Black Comedy, for the purpose of this challenge, is a comedy intended to be watched by a black crowd, IE ALL Tyler Perry Movies.

Black and White Point
Any movie that qualifies for the Black and White Challenge

First Time Viewing Points
A movie you have never seen before, not just this week, but ever.

Duo Point
You can get a duo point if the movie co-stars a black and a white actor



Lastly have fun!

Pet Sematary 2019? They can keep it

30 years after the original, the powers that be decided it was time to redo another movie that didn't need to be redone. Stephen King is all the rage these days, so why not? The movie is making money, but that doesn't mean anything. Today's audiences will eat up anything, because they don't know what quality is.

So what did the director do to make this movie his own? Nothing, really. There are a few "twists", if you can call them that, considering they gave all this shit away in the trailer, but people love knowing exactly what's going to happen in the movie, so they don't have to be surprised about anything.

The movie is mostly the same thing we saw in 1989, only they cut out a few subplots, added more jump scares, and changed up the ending in a way that'll leave you rolling your eyes and wondering where it all went wrong.

So what's worthwhile about this movie? Well, I happen to think that Jason Clarke as Louis Creed is a very fitting choice. Dude didn't have much to work with though, because the story feels a bit more shallow, just like the graves they're digging.

John Lithgow is a great actor, but he ain't no Fred Gwynne. Something about that dude was just awesome, yah? I loved the way he talked, and he seemed like a genuine character, whereas Lithgow again doesn't have much to work with.

The actress playing Rachel Creed does nothing for me. The whole Zelda plot somehow wasn't even creepy this time around, and that's what freaked out a lot of people who saw the 89 film.

Then, we have Victor Pascow. This time, he looks like one of those malnourished starving countries in Africa. However, they cut his screentime down and only put him in glimpses, so he isn't nearly as cheesy as he was in the original. Now, I love the original, but Pascow the jogger was a huge element of that story that I would cut right out, because like I said, he's cheesy as fuck. Not in this movie, but then again, he also seems a lot more pointless in this movie.

When someone is buried in the pet sematary, they come back without a soul. This movie must have been buried before, because it used to be good, but it came back, and it has no soul. It's a dreary mess that misses the point, and even the child death doesn't have any impact. Not quite emotional at all, whereas the original still feels kind of like a punch in the gut.

The original movie features the Ramones song of the same name used in the end credits. This time, we get a cover of that by some girl who isn't putting forth ANY effort in the damn song. She sounds like she's moaning and tired as she simply speaks the words to the song, and her version can go fuck itself.





Pet Sematary (1989) > Pet Sematary 2 (1992) > a real pet cemetery > Pet Sematary (2019)