December challenge: Foreign/subtitled movies.

Onyx informs me that she hasn't got a challenge lined up for this December, and whilst it also used to be the month for some extreme horror viewing, I thought it might be a good idea to try something different this time (and subsequently host my first challenge). The idea came from Troma's "disliking" of watching movies with subtitles. What could be more of a challenge for someone like Troma than a month of.. viewing movies with subtitles 😄 - you could say that, it's the ULTIMATE challenge .

So the main rule is: Movies cannot be either in the English language or your native tongue if English isn't your first language (I think only Johan applies here?). So American movies like The Passion of the Christ, Apocalypto or A Girl Walked Home Alone At Night would still count but if you speak fluent French and you watch a French movie, it will not count. If you understand a bit of Japanese but still require the assistance of subtitles, then of course it still counts.

Like the Fantasy/Sci-Fi challenge, points will be based on running time.

Movies watched can be any genre.

I know December can be a busy month for some of us but if anyone is up for this, let me know below so I can get an idea of interest and if it's worth doing it..

Turkey Challenge 2018 - Proposed Rules

Please look and see what you think. Two big changes proposed are the sex toy bonus and half credit for shows or movies between 25 and 44 minutes.

1) Still use IMDb ratings.

1.0 = 6 points.
1.1-1.9 = 5 points.
2.0-2.9 = 4 points.
3.0-3.9 = 3 points.
4.0-4.4 = 2 points.
4.5-4.9 = 1 point.


2) First time view = 1 point.

3) Can be any genre.

4) Trifectas. Yes. Director actors, and series. For director and actors you can bunch siblings and parent / children or grandparent / grandchildren.

5) A movie can only count towards one trifecta.

Single Trifecta - 5 points

Double Trifecta - 7 points

Triple Trifecta - 9 points

Etc.

6) 2 bonus points for sex toys in movie (dildos, sex dolls, vibrators, etc). Only one 2 point bonus per movie. Handcuffs will only count if they are used as a sex toy as opposed to being used by the police.

7) Movies with 5.0 ratings or better don't count for any points.

8) Must be at least 45 minutes long for full credit. Half credit for films between 25 and 44 minutes.

9) Start - 12:01 AM on November 1.
End - You must start you last movie prior to November 30 11:59 PM.

Some dick flicks I watched last night...

First off, there was the Netflix original "The Package" (2018), from the Workaholics team. It's about a camping trip gone horribly and hilarious wrong when some dumbass cuts off his own dick, and then his friends go on a misadventure to get it back to him. It's one mishap after the other, and things are looking really bad for our dickless chump. It's pretty amusing.

Then, I watched the Groundhogs Day of dick movies. "Premature" (2014) is about a teen who is forced to relive the same day every time he prematurely ejaculates. Which seems to be a lot. It's got a few people from the Scream tv show, and it's kind of hit or miss. Great concept, if anything. This was made before Happy Death Day, which I thought was a pretty fun movie (and I look forward to the sequel). However, this movie isn't quite as great, but it's not too bad.

Movies based on penis jokes... There just ain't enough of them, huh? I also think it's funny that first of these titles was something produced and distributed by Netflix. They own iconic things like Marvel, but they also have a movie about severed dicks. Fuckin' A.

Discord movie servers

for those of you familiar with Discord, i am on a couple of servers that might interest the TE community, feel free to join. im also promoting trash epics there too for (hopefully) some cross pollenation

All the Horror - all things horror basically, people post art, writing, stream movies or just general chat

https://discord.gg/9nvKGU

Metropolis - mainly a movie server, there are rabbit streams, weekly events & other stuff. also people chat/post music, art, sport, comics etc

https://discord.gg/J9WHbe

Adaptations of The Colour Out of Space (Lovecraft)

There's a 1987 Wil Wheaton movie on... some cable network, this month. It's not a good movie, it's only worth your time if you're REALLY hardcore about seeing every adaptation of any H.P. Lovecraft story. The movie is called The Curse, and it also has John Schneider, and some less famous actors. It's interesting to see Wil Wheaton as he looked just shortly after Stand By Me, I guess. It's also sort of interesting because it was directed by David Keith. (NOT Keith David from They Live, The Thing, There's Something About Mary, etc. David Keith, from Firestarter. I was reminded of The Unnamable a few times, so maybe one of the two movies influenced the other. The 80's The Blob is similar, too.

Anyway, not a great movie. But, it made me think about the H.P. Lovecraft story it is based on, The Colour Out of Space. In the story, the ending was important, because they were planning to build a huge reservoir to contain the drinking water for some major city in New England (probably "Miskatonic," because it's a Lovecraft story), and they were planning to build it right on top of the ground poisoned by the monstrous alien meteor. This is interesting to me, because for most of my life I have been drinking water from the Quabbin Reservoir in Massachusetts (where they filmed Super Troopers 2). The Quabbin was probably one of the inspirations for the story... another, smaller reservoir in Rhode Island, called the Scituate Reservoir, was definitely an inspiration. I have cousins who live a short walk from that reservoir, so, kneel before my godlike majesty.

Wikipedia says there have been some pretty solid adaptations of The Colour in this century, made in Italy and Germany. I already knew about Die, Monster, Die. But, has anyone here seen the recent German or Italian versions? Any thoughts?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Colour_Out_of_Space

photoshop thread

kind of in the mood to shop myself into fucked up scenes from movies, anyone have any suggestions?

The Official 2018 Trash Epics Horror Draft

Right cunts, this is the OFFICIAL 2018 Trash Epics Horror Draft. This is where you post your picks. This ISN'T where you ask silly questions about how the draft works. For all silly questions about how the draft works please pm VincentPriceisRight or ask your fucking cat or something. The draft is now on. Johan Wanking on Whitemen or whatever his fucking name is is now on the clock and has 24 hours to select a horror film. It goes down in ascending order until we reach Jim who posts 2 films and then it goes back up, with the 24 hour limit remaining in place. If you miss your turn I pick a really shit film for you as punishment.

16 is the perfect number for this shambles so get your hands off yer cocks and on with yer socks as we begin the event of the year, the draft man, the fucking draft!!! Let's have 16 films each yeah? Fucking yeah! YEAH!!!

Also, all thanks to Johan Weeing on Watermelons for doing the sign-ups this year, cheers mate. And just a quick warning: drafting late is punishable by Zed coming round your house and showing you photo's of his holiday in Corfu for six fucking hours.

This is the draft:

GO!


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Ballz
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Turkey Challenge 2018 - Progress Thread



Welcome to the 2018 Turkey Challenge. Here are the rules:

1) Still use IMDb ratings.

1.0 = 6 points.
1.1-1.9 = 5 points.
2.0-2.9 = 4 points.
3.0-3.9 = 3 points.
4.0-4.4 = 2 points.
4.5-4.9 = 1 point.


2) First time view = 1 point.

3) Can be any genre.

4) Trifectas. Yes. Director actors, and series. For director and actors you can bunch siblings and parent / children or grandparent / grandchildren.

5) A movie can only count towards one trifecta.

Single Trifecta - 5 points

Double Trifecta - 7 points

Triple Trifecta - 9 points

Etc.

6) 2 bonus points for sex toys in movie (dildos, sex dolls, vibrators, etc). Only one 2 point bonus per movie. Handcuffs will only count if they are used as a sex toy as opposed to being used by the police.

7) Movies with 5.0 ratings or better don't count for any points.

8) Must be at least 45 minutes long for full credit. Half credit for films between 25 and 44 minutes.

9) Start - 12:01 AM on November 1.
End - You must start you last movie prior to November 30 11:59 PM.

Great Moments on Ash vs Evil Dead

You guys, I just wanted to post about Kelly's amazing moment in Season One, Episode Six, (called Killer of Killers). Yeah, I have a crush on her, just deal with it.

She has a scene where she rams a Deadite's head face first into a deli meat slicing machine, and forces it through the slicer over and over and over and over, while shouting "Thin sliced! Just how I like it!" It's at about 22:10 in the episode, on On Demand.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ashvsevildead-1x06-starz-ash-vs-evil-dead-26tPgZnP9B70D2MQ8

On this board, for most of us, that probably isn't even a top ten moment for sheer badassery, compared to the extreme carnage and mayhem we all watch all the time. But, come on, that's just because our standards are so insanely high (low? Whatever, you know what I mean). By any reasonable standard, that was a monumentally stupendous and satisfying scene.

So anyway, there are shitloads of moments like that on Ash vs Evil Dead. Anyone have any personal faves?

Creed II - aka - Rocky IV part II

Any fans of the Rocky series? It's been going on for 42 years now, and these movies still suck me in.

Michael B. Jordan has been doing a great job as Rocky's protege, and even though these movies don't have everything a Rocky movie had, like Paulie or Adrian, they still have Rocky Balboa himself, and they still feel like Rocky movies. Stallone is there to anchor it, but Jordan has a lot of meat to his role, and it's a perfect balance, really.


Like the previous 'Creed' movie, Rocky IV has a lot to do with this movie. Even more than the last movie. For starters, Dolph is back, and that's awesome. He'd lost his people's respect after his defeat in part 4, and is training his son to take on Creed, to right the wrong from 30+ years ago. Will Viktor Drago break Adonis Creed? Will history repeat itself?

I don't even like boxing, but I love these movies. I also love Stallone, so I'm biased, but this movie is pretty emotional at times, and features some good cameos. We even have Brigitte Nielsen back, and she's even more of a bitch than she was way back in part 4. Way back, or as Rocky refers to it, "millions of years ago".

That actress is a has-been, having been popular in the mid-80s exclusively, then going on to date Flava Flav in a reality tv series. She was banging Schwarzenegger circa Red Sonja, then Stallone circa Rocky VI / Cobra, and then a few years later... yeeeaaah boyee! Flava Flav is the next best thing.


The story to all of these movies is the same. A guy's got to fight for something, his life goes downhill, a montage happens, and then we step into the ring. We know how it's going to end, but we still watch it happen, and we watch the punches fly, waiting to see what we know is going to happen.

I think it's pretty fascinating how this series keeps going on. We've watched the trying times of Rocky as his life went through various ups and downs. He's had to fight for what he has, and yet, these fights are more than physical. It's all about getting your shit together and giving it everything you've got. Life is going to beat you down, but you have to get back up, put your heart into it, and fuck all else.

I can't wait to see Stallone return to action in Rambo V, coming soon.