What movies did you watch or buy this week? (1/13)

Bought

Mausoleum (Blu-ray)
Blood Harvest (Blu-ray)
Forbidden Photos of a Woman Above Suspicion (Blu-ray)

Watched

Hereditary
The Gingerbread man
Black Butterfly
Ratter
It Comes at Night

Frank Henenlotter vs Stuart Gordon

Arguably two of the best directors who debuted in the '80s with some pretty similar parallels - in addition to their films largely being horror / comedies, they readily dabble in the horrors of medical science gone wrong. And the consensus is that their first two films are also their best and most widely acclaimed. I don't think there's any disputing that.

Who's your favorite of the two? And how would you rank each of their first two movies?

I think I would take Stuart Gordon, but only ever so slightly. It's a tough one.

Ranking their masterpieces:

Re-Animator
Brain Damage
From Beyond
Basket Case

Feel free to rank all of their movies if you'd like, too.

Freedive - IMDb's New Streaming Service

https://www.imdb.com/freedive/

Well, how about that? They don't have much, but it's free. Can't argue with that. All you need is an imdb account. I guess that's one way to make up for the destruction of free speech on the message boards, but how is this going to fare?

Amazon owns IMDb. I'm guessing this will generally be a small selection of any titles Amazon has the rights to, and these things generally change every now and then, as old titles go and new titles enter.

Not a big selection yet, but they have some horror flicks. I wonder if these movies are cut? It looks like they may have commercials too.

Children of the Corn: Apple Pie?

In the trailer for Children of the Corn (1984) around the 35-second mark, it sounds like a kid is yelling apple pie. Am I hearing this correctly?

A Book Database

Would you want one? Think of it like the movie/tv database, which is technically also a video game database (but I haven't added shit). You can add titles, categorize stuff, and rate it.

You could add basic horror-ish titles and whatever else. I'm sure there are plenty of important horror novels that were adapted into films, as well as horror novelizations that could be mentioned.

I'm asking for thoughts and trying to build hype, but either way, I'm gonna add this feature because the framework is already there. I just want want to see what kind of titles ought to come up. I'm thinking everything from Stephen King, Jack Ketchum, and all those prominent horror movies based on books, like Psycho, The Exorcist, etc. I don't want this thing to be dead in the water as soon as I add the feature. I want to have enough titles to make it halfway decent.

Thoughts? What titles should be added? Do you even read, bro? (I don't)

Roll To Dodge (D&D for dummies)

I had posted about this in another thread, but wanted to make a dedicated thread for it. This is a text based roll playing game that requires almost no effort can be really really fun. The following post has the rules and a very boiled down example.

Fantasy Box Office

So I've been tossing arround this idea of fantasy box office. Like fantasy sports each week we have a line up we play say 3 actors 2 writers 2 directors and 1 producer. We then get points based off of box office numbers and possibly dvd sales for each week(not sure if thats a gettable number each week). We would have a draft and each person would draft say 20 people round robin style. We would start at a certian date and go for like 12 or 16 weeks picking a lineup each week and then have a tourny one loss elimination style playoff bracket for 3 or 4 weeks and then crown a box office champion.

Thoughts are welcomed.

Hell Fest, and the Carnie Horror-Show subgenre

So Hell Fest is out on dvd already. It had a limited theatrical run, which is surprising for a genre title like this one, but when big names are involved... anything is possible. When I say "big names", I refer to their selling point that was important enough to put on the poster: From an executive producer of The Walking Dead

😄😄😄

First off, I just want to laugh at that for a moment. I'm sure there are some TWD fans around here, but that show is old and tired, and everyone knows that executive producers don't do shit. They collect a paycheck, and I guess that's important enough.


So the movie starts without much intricacy. A group of young adults decide to go to "Hell Fest", a horror-themed carnival/haunted-house type deal, and somewhere down the line, an actual serial killer sneaks into the mix, and no one knows any better, because it's all part of the show, right?

For what it is, the movie isn't bad. It's very colorful, competently made, and it even has Tony fucking Todd as the main horror host. He kinda reminds me of his Hatchet character in that sense. He's not in it much though, as the film mostly focuses on the group of victims, and the killer set out after them.

The movie is pretty predictable. You can tell pretty much exactly what's coming, but that's not exactly a problem. It's a pretty fun romp either way. This horror-show setting lends itself perfectly to the genre, giving us plenty of outs for stupid decisions and whatnot, playing on the disbelief of the participants due to the nature of the "show".

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What other movies can you think of that revolve around horror shows, carnivals, or circus type themes?

Freaks (1932) - Old-timey classic featuring actual "freaks". Short, to the point, creepily engaging, and with an ending that probably fucked with people's heads back in the day.

The Wizard of Gore (1970/2007) - Typical HG Lewis fare, which means that it's awesome. Ego-maniac's horror show takes things farther and farther, but are his evil-doings real, or are we all just going insane?!

The remake was a completely different tone, acting as more of a psychological crime thriller than horror. Not the worst, but not quite what we were looking for...

Bloodsucking Freaks (1976) - Quite literally a horror show where the guy is killing people on stage, and NOBODY believes it! Being an ego-maniac, Sardu decides to step up his game, so people can't possibly not believe it. I love it.

The Funhouse (1981) - The most obvious example of funhouse horror revolves around a small group who get trapped in a carnival after hours, and you know what happens next. Fun.

House of 1000 Corpses (2003) - Captain Spaulding's horror show tells you about various serial killers, and you're likely to get killed if you hang around too long. Kinda satanic, somewhat supernatural, and extremely different from its follow-up The Devil's Rejects. This movie was pretty flashy, heavily inspired by a music-video style of directing, since Rob Zombie was doing a lot of that as his solo career started taking off.


Those are a few examples off the top of my head. Thoughts on these? Hell Fest? Carnie and/or Horror-Show horrors?

Shot-On-Shiteo: Cannibal Xerox



It's almost as if Bruno Mattei had plans of jumping on the Cannibal bandwagon all along, but fell asleep for 20 years, only to wake up and carry on, business as usual. Yeah. In 2004, Bruno Mattei made a genuine Cannibal movie. True story. He did lots of stuff in the 2000's, including several more Cannibal entries, along with a Zombie flick or two. The old guy obviously wasn't much for timing, but better late than never, some might say. Mattei also wasn't one much for originality either. Hell Of The Living Dead comes to mind even though I love it. Bruno Mattei may have been the most shameless director of the Italian heyday, and one could make the argument that he is a poor man's all those guys, but who else would do this? who else gave enough of a fuck to give us a 2004 Cannibal film? Bruno Mattei and only Bruno Mattei. Talent/creativity/film be damned! Bruno says it's time for another one!

This shot-on-video, would-be epic goes under several different titles: Cannibal World, Mondo Cannibale, but I'm going to refer to it by its most unfitting (or intriguing?) title of Cannibal Holocaust: The Beginning. I like to think the decision to call it that in whatever country was solely Mattei's idea. And I don't want to poke fun at the dead, but this movie's existence is too funny. Although it can be pretty irritating if you're a huge fan of the legendary Cannibal Holocaust. I say that because this painfully inferior product does nothing but leech off its predecessor. And to be blunt, the one I'm about to shed some light on more or less amounts to that of a bottle of piss. Don't worry. It'll all make sense soon.

Once again, under the pseudonym of Vincent Dawn, Bruno Mattei gives us the Cannibal Holocaust ripoff we never knew we wanted. Such a ripoff that it's about a hair away from being a remake. Hell, Mattei actually might have intended it to be one. Everything that sets up the story is different, but the results remain the same. Along with the same old "who are the real cannibals?" nonsense. I think I even remember some of the same dialogue, so, yeah. That's the level of shamelessness we're working with. Once a thriving news channel, TVN isn't doing so well, ratings-wise. Hot shit anchor woman, Grace Forsyte, aims to fix things and help this dying channel regain the popularity it once enjoyed. Only one thing can reverse the state of things, says Grace. We gotta take it to the Amazon! We gotta go fuck with some cannibals. People love cannibals! No, the naked, brown ones who've never heard of anything. Not the regular ones!

Grace didn't really say that, but I wouldn't be surprised if she thought it. So, Grace is dragging her team all the way out to the Amazon jungle to see if some cannibals could possibly eat somebody if they happen to be feeling generous. Supposedly, there is a tribe around here some refer to as "the invisible people". Surely they'll give up some sweet cannibal action for a news channel on its last legs. Things go surprisingly well as these news whores actually get their footage. And just like that, TVN lives! In fact, TVN's ratings have skyrocketed even more than Grace predicted.

So, mission accomplished, time to go home! Well, not quite yet. Apparently not someone to quit while she's ahead, Grace encourages the others to help her set all the cannibals and their village on fire which will obviously increase the ratings even more. We can always blame it on another tribe, says Grace. A little fake news never hurt anybody, says Grace. If you're familiar with these types of movies, you know what's coming: Bloody, rapey, tasty revenge. Castrations, impalings and regret. Oh, and some authentic animal killings somewhere amongst it all. You didn't think Uncle Bruno would leave that out, did you? He knew what he was doing.

I'd say the magic is lost. Long gone for around two decades by this point. No one can say this isn't a "real" one since it was directed by one of the boys, even though Mattei had literally no experience making these movies. Cannibal Holocaust: The Beginning is unique because it is not a throwback, despite coming off like one. And while it may also feel like a resurrection of sorts, I wouldn't even go that far. To me, Cannibal Holocaust: The Beginning is one man's attempt at picking the bones of a corpse that he damn well knows is no longer edible. So, that only leaves one question: If Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox are the Coke and Pepsi of the genre, then, where does this one fit in? Yeah, I'm going with piss. Cannibal Holocaust: The Beginning is a warm bottle of piss. 3/10



#Review

Streaming Services don't know SHIT

Netflix recently added "Jason Goes to Hell". What image do they include for it? An image from "Jason X", of course. Same movie, right? Might as well be to the dimwits who pick and choose that stuff, and don't care for the genre enough to even make sure they even have the right movie.

Jason has suffered from this a few times. The back of my Friday the 13th Part 6 dvd has a picture of (not) Jason from Part 5. The dvd insert for my Part 4 dvd has a picture of Jason from Part 6. Not sure how anyone could be confused by it, considering he looks noticably different in every film. The video game has distinctly different models for every incarnation of him, too.

Netflix also leaves letters off of prominent displays sometimes. "The Haunting of Hill House" clearly said "The Hauntin of Hill House", in a few different locations. I'm not sure how Netflix can overlook something that big for it's original releases, but fuck 'em. I've seen that shit with at least two titles on there.

So anyway, that was just a quick rant on the stupidity of people not knowing their shit. So now, I go to watch Jeepers Creepers on HULU, since they have it now. When I clicked on the movie, it shows a picture of Mick Taylor, from Wolf Creek 2.

😞