If you wrote a book...

My mind has been blank lately. I'm zoning right the fuck out, and I don't have any inspiration for anything. I spent the last few months writing my second book "White Trash Dracula", and that took a lot out of me, but I enjoyed the process. I want to write something else to keep me distracted, but I don't know what.

I have ideas for more stories based on universal monster movies, but I don't want to push the next one until I've got a solid outline, so I'm debating whether or not I should try writing something else in the meantime.

Sometimes, you hear an idea that sounds so stupid, you need it in your life. I'm trying to find the right idea to write about, but I can't think of anything that clicks just yet.

Maybe I just need to write something very gimmicky? Something different? Something that's pure horse shit, but what?


Anybody written a story that you're particularly proud of? Anything you wish could have been written better? In fact... do any of you even write? Does anybody write anymore, in this age of micro-tweets and vanity posts?

And then there's La Casa....

1. The Evil Dead AKA La Casa (1981)

2. Evil Dead II AKA La Casa 2 (1987)

3. Ghosthouse AKA La Casa 3 (1988)

4. Witchery AKA La Casa 4 (1988)

5. Beyond Darkness AKA La Casa 5 (1990)

6. House II: The Second Story AKA La Casa 6 (1987)

7. The Horror Show AKA La Casa 7 (1989)

The first two and last two aren't even Italian. Evil Dead I and II are classics, of course. Ghosthouse and Witchery are kind of dumb, but I like them for some reason. I saw Beyond Darkness (not to be confused with Beyond the Darkness) less than a year ago but I don't remember one single thing about it, but I gave it a 5/10. House II is stupid as hell, but kind of amusing. The Horror Show, known as House III in some places, was kind of a dull, unfunny version of Wes Craven's Shocker.

Night of the Living Dead: Genesis

I still haven't seen this. Have many people here managed to watch it somehow? What did you think?

I'm not sure how to watch it. it reminds me of Radio Free Albemuth in that way, like, they made it years ago and it got stuck in legal limbo somehow.

RPG game advice

started this game 196 hours ago https://thehorrorboard.com/game/strategygame.7z (windows 64 only) ~15mb
any gameplay advice I should add/change?

its not fun/that playable ATM, Im just focusing on getting it to work, but should give an idea of approx wgat I'm trying to do
I will be away from the PC for 2 weeks so won't be able to update it any in that time, but will take notes

Brutal Bop Movies

So I was watching Jeremy Saulnier's "Green Room" the other day. Damn, what a great fuckin' movie... I've seen it several times, and I really love it. Probably my favorite movie of 2015 (even though I think it came out theatrically in 2016?). The acting, the story, the gore, and it all packs one hell of a punch.

It's a survival movie where a band of misfits are being framed and must fight for survival. Much like "The Warriors", only violent as fuck. That's a genre I like, where the protagonists have to bop their way to safety, when everyone else is out to get them.

Any similar movies? Stuff like "Dredd" and "The Raid".

What's the deal with that Zombi series?

I don't really like those movies too much. I figure Zombie 4 After Death might be a bit underrated, but I hated 3 and Killing Birds, and am not overly fond of the shark vs. zombie one, but I recently came across a list of what's supposedly the complete Zombi(e) series, and what I found was pretty surprising. So, yeah. I didn't write this.

1. Dawn Of The Dead (1978) - "Dario Argento was an admirer of George A. Romero's work, and vica versa. When Argento heard that Romero was contemplating a sequel to Night of the Living Dead (1968) he insisted that Romero come out to Argento's native Rome to write the script without distractions. Romero knocked out the script in 3 weeks and, though Argento read the script as it came out, he left all the writing to Romero. Argento later assisted in raising funds for the film, provided most of the film's soundtrack and edited a slightly shortened cut of the film to be shown in non-English-speaking countries." The title was changed to Zombi and the rest is history.

2. Zombi 2 (1979) - Despite being called 'Zombi 2', the film is not a sequel to anything. When 'Dawn of the Dead (1978)' was released under the title 'Zombi' in Italy, this film was retitled 'Zombi 2' to cash in on the success of the American film." "The film was written before Dawn of the Dead (1978) was released in Italy, as an action/adventure thriller with no link to George A. Romero's films. The opening and closing scenes (which take place in New York) were added to the script later when the producers wanted to cash-in on the success of Dawn."

3. Zombi 3 (1988) - "Zombi 3 (known as Zombie Flesh Eaters 2 in the UK) is the in-name-only 1988 followup to Zombi 2, itself an unofficial sequel to 1978's Dawn of the Dead (released in Italy as Zombi). Beyond its title, Zombi 3 has little to no relation with the characters or plotlines of Zombi, Zombi 2 or in fact any subsequent "Zombi" films." "Lucio Fulci is asked to film a script for the sequel to Zombi 2. Fulci reportedly completed 70-or-so minutes of film before leaving due to health problems. Writer Fragasso's friend Bruno Mattei was brought on board to do reshoots, and to finish the film. The result was released to Italian theatres in July, and later to home video internationally."

4. Zombie 4 (1988) - "After Death is an Italian zombie movie made during the height of the zombie craze. Released in the United States under the title Zombie 4: After Death and in the United Kingdom as Zombie Flesh Eaters 3, the movie has no connections to the other official or unofficial Zombi films. It was directed by frequent zombie writer/director Claudio Fragasso under the pseudonym Clyde Anderson."

5. Zombie 5 (1987) - "Killing Birds (Italian: Uccelli assassini) is an Italian horror movie released in the United States under the title Zombie 5: Killing Birds. It was released in 1987, while After Death (Called Zombie 4: After Death in the United States) was released in 1988."

6. Day Of The Dead (1985) - In Germany this film is called "Zombie 2 - Das letzte Kapitel" and then it is followed by the Italian "Zombi 3

7. The Hanging Woman (1973) - In the late 90s in America this film was released by T-Z Video (aka Edde Entertainment) as "Zombie 3: Return of the Zombies." The first two in the series remained the same, however.

8. A Virgin Among The Living Dead (1973) - The was the follow-up released by T-Z, called "Zombie 4: A Virgin Among the Living Dead."

9. Revenge in the House of Usher (1983) - Released by T-Z as "Zombie 5: Revenge In the House of Usher."

10. Monster Hunter (1981) - Released by T-Z as "Zombie 6: Monster Hunter." The funny thing about this being that this is actually D'Amato's sequel to Antropophagus [Anthropophagus: The Grim Reaper], so it's a sequel to two completely different films.

11. Zombie Holocaust (1980) "Zombie Holocaust, also known as Doctor Butcher, M.D. has also been released as Zombie 3, and it stars Ian McCulloch, who appeared in Zombi 2."

12. Hell of The Living Dead (1980) AKA Virus. Funny thing about this film is it's been called "Zombi 4" in Italy and "Zombi 5: Ultimate Nightmare" in America. It also steals the Goblin score from "Zombi."

13. Burial Ground (1981) This film has also been released under the titled "Zombie 3."

14. Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974) - This is also known as "Zombi 3 - Da dove vieni?" in Italian and Greek territories.

15. Nightmare City (1981) - This too has been called "Zombi 3."

(I also noticed IMDb has Zombie '90 listed as aka Zombi 7. Guess they missed that one.)

Thoughts on the Zombi(e) series?

What movies did you watch or buy this week? (6-10)

Hollow Creek
The Shape of Water
Death Laid an Egg

Documentary Challenge



**It's finally here! The Documentary Challenge is happening on Trash Epics and it's happening in June. So, get ready to learn something.

I'm going to go with the original rules set by challenge founder, AlcoholicNinja. Or at least what I can remember.

Any Documentary is worth 1 point.

A Documentary containing dark subject matter is worth 2 points

A Documentary about anything involving The Horror genre is worth 3 Points. And yes, I realize this isn't the Horror Board but thems the original rules.

First time viewings will get you an extra point

For any fans of Audio commentary tracks from dvds/blu-rays, those are basically Documentaries and should count as such and should fall under the same point system. Although no FTV point for those.

And even though Mockumentaries aren't Documentaries, we'll go ahead and count them in case there's anyone around here who is a fan of them.

We'll go with a 40 minute minimum.

Oh, and anyone caught using the term "Doco" for any reason in the month of June will be disqualified and possibly banned.

Suggestions? Recs? This is the discussion thread.**

California is dumb as fuck

We all know how crooked Hollywood is, especially with the Weinstein scandal going on now, but those liberal fucktards^yahoos are making laws that'll really make you scratch your head. A few days ago, they announced that they'll arrest you if you call a transgendered person by the wrong pronoun, and now... if you knowingly have AIDS and fuck someone and give them AIDS... it's a slap on the wrist (as opposed to the previous 8 year prison sentence).

Apparently, Ben Affleck and John Travolta knew about the Weinstein shennanigans and acted as his "enforcers" to intimidate others into keeping quiet. Now, Affleck has feigned disgust in Weinstein's behavior, and Rose McGowan (a victim of Harvey's sexual abuse) called him out on it. Goddamn hypocrites...



If I ever get the chance to go there, I'll run the other way. I really wouldn't mind if America just got rid of that ridiculous state. It ain't doing the rest of us any favors...

Ready To Rumble: A WCW Fuck Up



Back in 1999, I doubt anyone would have considered the possibility of a WCW movie to be a bad idea. After temporarily dethroning the WWF as the top Wrestling organization, 1999 was extremely unkind to WCW, as their approach to the Monday Night War only served to tap them out creatively and nearly financially as well. A recently red hot WCW had become old news seemingly over night, while the WWF was experiencing an explosion in popularity like no other. Somebody needed to come up with an idea to get eyes back on WCW, and fast. Eric Bischoff, the man who had led WCW into the promised land and back, had an idea in the Summer of '99. Not a bad one by any means. Pro Wrestling, as a whole, was still huge, so, at the time, a WCW movie sounded totally reasonable. This could be just what they need to get back in the race. And if it turns out not to be, they won't be any worse off, right? Sorry. This is WCW, friends. What can go wrong, will go wrong!

And naturally, the first thing to go wrong is the firing of Eric Bischoff, who had been the only person in the company who offered something resembling leadership, so, any influence he may have had on this film was thrown out the window. The next thing to go wrong? Who knows, but let's just say it was the hiring of David Arquette for the lead role. I'm not particularly crazy about his sidekick, Scott Caan, either, but that David Arquette is the worst.

Get this: Ready To Rumble includes such Wrestlers as Sting, Sid Vicious, Goldberg, Perry Saturn, Bam Bam Bigelow, Booker T, Curt Hennig, Rey Mysterio Jr, and Konnan. With a cameo by Randy Savage, which was the highlight for me. Not to mention a random appearance by a nobody named John Cena. All that and what we get is fucking Oliver Platt vs. Diamond Dallas Page? DDP wasn't bad, and Platt was hilarious in The Big C, later on, but is this really you guy's attempt at putting WCW back on the right track? Is this what's supposed to get everyone's eyes off Stone Cold And The Rock?

So, the first thing you need to know about Ready To Rumble is that it can't decide if it wants to portray Wrestling as fake or real. At least that's what the premise implies. WCW World Heavyweight Champion, Jimmy King, gets screwed out of the title for realz by Dallas Page and cronies. A turn of events set up by CEO, Titus Sinclair, who wants to get rid of King. So, yeah. Wrestling is kinda real sometimes, I guess. Complete and utter retards, Sean and Gordie, are livid. Regardless of how Wrestling is or isn't portrayed in this movie, these longtime friends think it's 100% legit, and in this one case, I suppose they're right. Having no lives, these knuckle-dragging man-children end up tracking down their now-M.I.A. favorite wrestler and motivating him to get back to doing what he does best and stick it to Page and Sinclair, even though he doesn't work for the company any more. And even after finding out their hero is a drunken, dishonest pile of shit, they don't quit on him. So, on top of being retards, Sean and Gordie are massive marks.

How else are we supposed to take this? Sean and Gordie are clearly a portrayal of your average Wrestling fan. Is this how WCW saw their own fanbase? It certainly seems that way. Is this the reason Ready To Rumble failed? Well, it might have been if this movie had one, single thing going for it. A comedy which fits in nicely with the likes of Scary Movie, American Pie and Dude, Where's My Car?, which wouldn't be such a bad thing if it wasn't, by far, the worst of the bunch. Recycled jokes from movies like Mallrats, cameos from guys like "The Sherminator", and PG-13 poopy jokes, puts this at least three rungs below all the other sorry ass comedies from the era. All I can say is Poor Martin Landau!

On a depressing note, this movie's portrayal of WCW actually seemed far more interesting than the real thing, once this garbage was released. In a last-ditch effort to milk all they could from this situation, WCW actually brought in David Arquette and put the WCW World Title on him for a short time, sending the message that even a shitty, unfunny actor is better than any big-name Wrestler. Did it help the movie? Well, it eventually made half it's budget back. So, possibly. Did this at least help WCW at all? Well, less than a year later, they wouldn't exist anymore, so, there's that. Yes. Ready To Rumble was a waste of time, a waste of money, a waste of talent, and seemingly a middle finger to those who were meant to take interest in it. Because of course it was. After all. This was a WCW project. 1/10