Boar (2018)

If you love John Jarratt in Wolf Creek, love monster movies, practical monster effects and love Australian horror movies then you might be interested in this one.

Good cast with Bill Moseley, Roger Ward, Nathan Jones and even Ernie Dingo.

Good Breeding Gone Bad

No, that's not the name of the movie. The name is Thoroughbreds, but that poster says otherwise. I think it's funny when they make the taglines bigger than the title. They did that for Edge of Tomorrow, and people at the theater kept asking for "Live. Die. Repeat". Anyway, I digress. This is a movie also taglined as "Heathers meets American Psycho", which is kind of accurate.

Olivia Cooke plays our first lead character. She's emotionally challenged, but she's not a bad person. In fact, I think she's great. I think Olivia was great in Bates Motel, and she's really cute. I like her. Then, we have her character's friend, played by Anya Taylor-Joy, from M. Night's Split. She hates her stepfather, because he's a rich prick who treats mom badly. Of course, she could be overdramatic about it. There's rapey vibes, but the movie generally steers clear of much action. It's just a strange look into a bad situation, through the eyes of these unhappy, overprivileged teen girls.

As for the Heathers comparison, it is kinda like Heathers. Not as funny, but not as light-hearted. American Psycho comparisons are because Olivia's character has plenty of Bateman moments, and is unphased by some disturbing material, and that's why they call her the creepy girl. She's not creepy though. I'd totally do her.

Another notable factor in the movie is Anton Yelchin, in his final film. I loved Anton. He picked a lot of great roles, and would have went on to keep making great movies, I think. Still such a goddamn shame he had to go so young, and in such a bizarre way. He was good though, playing a quasi-pedo drug dealer, but I liked his character. I always like his characters.

Overall, an interesting movie, and I might have to reflect upon it some more. While I might not sound overly enthused by this review, it's still the kind of movie I'm very happy to see get theatrical treatment. We need more dark, R-rated movies like this. It's a teen drama, but it's not about the teenybopper shit. It's about human feelings, and what to do with them.

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On a side note, some of the trailers looked alright. Unsane and Hereditary are two movies I want to see now.

Favorite "Tales from the Crypt" episodes?

In memory of Don Rickles, I watched his "The Ventriloquist's Dummy" episode, directed by Richard Donner and starring Bobcat Goldthwait. This show was all about great guest stars and directors.

A few days before that, I watched Arnold's "The Switch" about the old man (William Hickey) who trades body parts with a young man (Rick Rossovich) to win his woman's heart.

Throughout seven seasons, they've had a ton of great episodes. Another of my favorites off the top of my head would be Walter Hill's "Cutting Cards" with Lance Henriksen and Kevin Tighe.


Here's a reference for you:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Tales_from_the_Crypt_episodes


Is this the best horror anthology out there? I think the most notable competitor would be Tales from the Darkside, but I haven't seen many episodes of that series... YET!

The Strangers Prey at Night... and they love the 80s

Ten years ago, The Strangers got a lot of hype as being a truly creepy home invasion movie, inspired by the immortal classic known as Halloween. It has a decent reputation among horror fans, but personally? I hated it. I thought it was dull, and I didn't give two hoots about anyone in the film. I didn't care for the nihilistic and somewhat abrupt ending, and I didn't care for the directing. It was all about building tension, and somehow, the movie just didn't resonate with me at all. I was quite disappointed that I couldn't get on The Strangers' boat, but whatever. Fuck that movie.

Since I love trailer park(boy)s, and the 80s look of the film, I figured I'd give it a try, because I set my bar pretty low for this sort of thing, but the movie was plenty entertaining. It's about your regular family going to send their dramatic/punk daughter to boarding school, and they stop off at a trailer park.

Now, the family is pretty generic, but the actors did a very good job with the material. Christina Hendricks played the mom, but she never showed her tits, which is always unfortunate. No points for nudity, but you'll get gore points. The level of violence was definitely satisfactory, and the setting and music were all wonderful. Great production values turn what would be a mindless home invasion type movie into something pretty interesting.

The director is obviously influenced by Halloween, but it's more than that. It's actually a whole Carpenter influence, because he's stated that the film is influenced more by The Fog and Christine. I can definitely see that. The fog part, because there's a lot of fog (duh), and there's a lot to do with the radio. The Christine part is because of some scenes being stalked by the car, and some definite similar imagery. In fact, there's also a total blatant reference to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre that any horror fan would draw parallels to immediately.

It gets the hairbox approval, which we all know is the only opinion that matters. I also snagged a couple of posters for it right after I saw it. Then, I went straight into Thoroughbreds https://trashepics.com/post/1/404/ ...

David Lynch

He's a weird guy, but he grows on you. Been watching the new Twin Peaks and rewatching the old show and movie, and I feel it's as relevant a time as ever.

Eraserhead (1977) - Trippy black and what tale of industrial living, mass production, and goddamn mutant babies filled with horrid puss! This movie is great to watch if you're baked out of your mind.

Blue Velvet (1986) - Kyle M, Laura Dern, and Dennis Hopper are great in this. It's kinda confusing the first dozen times, but it kinda makes sense eventually. Still a solid movie though.

Twin Peaks (1990-1991) - A wonderfully quirky show filled with lounge music, and other great music pieces that set the mood of any scene. A good tv show needs good theme music, and that's one of the reasons Twin Peaks is great. Of course, there's a lot of great actors in the show, and the setting is great too.

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992) - You'd really have to watch the show to understand this movie, but if you're into it, the movie is actually a pretty emotional experience. It makes me sad everytime I watch it. Pretty horrific too, when compared to the show. David Lynch never strays from an R-rating if he can help it.

Mulholland Drive (2001) - I watched it once, and I immediately forgot it. I might've watched it a second time, but I forget that too. It didn't grab me though. I think I need to watch it another 8 times.

Twin Peaks (2017) - So far, it's total Lynch, and as satisfying as ever.


I need to check out Lost Highway and Inland Empire soon, and probably whatever else he's done.
Thoughts on DAVID LYNCH?

Review: Messiah of Evil (1973)

I had bought the Mill Creek Chilling Classics 50 movie pack a few years ago and I had noticed that Messiah of Evil (1973) was included in it but for one reason or another I never wanted to watch it. Fast forward to last years October Challenge and I was running out options to watch - so I half-heartedly decided to watch it. Well, needless to say, I didn't regret it, and even tho the copy wasn't the best in the world - it didn't damper my enjoyment of it, far from it. It was a great find and if I were to compile a Top 10 of my favorite horror films of the top of my head, then this would undoubtedly make the cut.

Messiah of Evil is about a young woman who searches for her missing father after he abruptly and unexpectedly stops communication with her. When she arrives at a picturesque seaside home, where her father lived, she finds that the residents of the town are bizarre. She arrived with a hippie couple who are curiously attracted to the strange town. Together, the soon find out that the town is crawling with a flesh-eating cult.

There are a few unforgettable scenes that are genuinely scary that leave an expression: like the supermarket scene and, of course, who can forget the movie theatre scene, both outstanding. The director, Willard Huyck, I have to say does a really splendid job in creating this almost dream-like vibe for the film and it doesn't let up. It is psychedelic. The story kinda reminded me of an old H.P. Lovecraft tale. The atmosphere is unrelentingly grim and I can only describe it as intense and an nightmarish dread. It is creepy as hell and it is full of very strange and memorable characters.


What I like most about it - is it's ambiguity. We're never terribly sure if the "creatures" are zombies, ghouls, vampires or just cannibals or something else and no loose ends are tied by the end of the film either. It is shamefully still obscure among the numerous bad low-budget drive-in horror flicks of the 70's, it doesn't deserve it. I seen it late at night and I was pretty tired but I will never forget it. Messiah of EviL is one of a few horror movies that I truly found scary and I seen a lot. A masterclass in lingering dread. I rate it a 9.

Rob Zombie and his Devils Rejects

https://bloody-disgusting.com/movie/3466469/rob-zombie-making-sequel-devils-rejects-exclusive/

This news just came to my attention, and I'm kind of torn. Part of me is asking, "How the hell are you going to revive the last three members of the Firefly family after we saw how that last movie ended?"

Then, another part of me is actually kind of excited for it. We'll say there's some magic Dr. Satan shit going on, but will it be worth it? Will it taint the legacy of Rob Zombie's best movie? Or will us fans rejoice regardless?

Shot-On-Shiteo: Back To Basics



Chris Seaver is one of the many no-budget Horror directors that came out of the woodwork back in the 90's. A time when the SOV ship had since sailed. All that was left of this era was a few scraps for guys like Todd Sheets, guys like Tim Ritter, and guys like Chris Seaver. Unlike his peers, Seaver's beatings of the dead SOV horse was actually leading to something.

By the mid-2000's, Chris Seaver's movie career was not only going strong, but it was actually evolving into something more. By this point, he had gained a healthy fanbase, created his own Kevin Smith/Troma-esque universe, and of course, upgraded to something more resembling film. Still far from "making it", Chris Seaver had still managed to survive the dark ages of SOV and went on from there. I think it's safe to say Seaver's peak was in the late 2000's, when movies like Terror At Blood Fart Lake and Deathbone came to be. As much as he improved his craft and moved up in the Z-movie world, the pressures of dealing with studios and the disappointments of certain films not turning out how he envisioned, got to Seaver, leading to the end of his long-running Low Budget Pictures Company, which everyone had seen as synonymous with Chris and his recurring characters. After filming one final epic, Low Budget Pictures was no more. The end of an era, but not the end.

Seaver wasn't about to throw in the towel, as he already had plans for something new to rise from the LBP ashes. Well, maybe "new" isn't the right way of putting it. In 2012, a new company was formed. Warlock Home Video was to be the successor to LBP. While Seaver didn't all together quit what he had been doing, Warlock was to offer something new. Warlock movies were to be 80's SOV throwbacks. Not only that, but they were to be portrayed as "lost" SOV classics, while Warlock itself being portrayed as a long-defunct company, now enjoying a second life. He may have survived the dark ages, and flourished in the 2000's, but Chris Seaver more or less bailed on the current decade, traveling back to a happier time, when movies like this were appreciated. Call it "devolving" if you want, but if Chris Seaver is happier in the 1980's, then, good for him!

Today, we're going to talk about one of the dumbest, one of the most pointless, one of the most 80's flicks that nobody has ever heard of. The perfect example of what Chris Seaver was going for at the time: More fun and less pressure. Clearly, that's what Stoinky Beach was all about. The root of its existence, I mean. The actual movie is one big hard-on for the 80's. Story be damned. Stoinky Beach insists that "It's the 80's and we're having fun!". The man who once played Teenape, Casey Bowker, stars as the recently-dumped Rick, whose girlfriend has up and decided she's done taking a backseat to Rick's friends. It's hard to not sympathize with Ariel, as Rick does only seem to care about drinking beer and eating Bratwurst with the same three guys. Though, they are good friends, I'll admit. The bros are immediately there to pick up the pieces by insisting they spend the day at Stoinky Beach. This beach is made out to be like Muslim-Heaven with the 72 virgins and whatnot. Except the virgins are replaced by sluts who are all drunk and down to fuck. That's what Rick needs. That's what they all need. Luckily, they all totally have each other's backs to the max.

In true 80's movie fashion, the bros meet an alien named Blumpy, played by LBP legend, Josh Suire. Blumpy has traveled to Earth in order to spread the message of love, or something like that. After making fast friends with Rick and the bros, Blumpy decides his mission is to reunite Rick and Ariel. Easier said than done as Ariel also has a group of friends who thinks Stoinky Beach is the answer. Ariel's friends insist that finding a hard, throbbing cock to choke, on will get her over Rick in no time. As Ariel gets cozy with some Solar Shade wearing beefcake with VD, Blumpy has a few tricks up his sleeve to shift things in Rick's favor. I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but I will say this: When it's all said and done, all the bros will have eaten shit straight out of Blumpy's ass. A twist which sums up this movie as good as anything else.

Sure. Such a movie was not exactly expected at this point in Chris Seaver's career. Stoinky Beach may be considered low brow even compared to his "Mulva days", but I can dig it. I can dig the 80's love and I can dig this clever attempt Seaver made at getting back to his roots. Hell, I can even dig how they didn't so much as attempt to make it out like there were people at this "happenin' beach". Say what you will about the abysmal quality and questionable story, you won't find a more authentic throwback. Stoinky Beach captures everything it's attempting to capture.

Unfortunately, these sweet Warlock throwbacks are so tiny-budgeted and under the radar, getting real distribution was probably never an option, hence the careless usage of mainstream music. Besides Stoinky Beach, Warlock also churned out Death O'Lantern 1 and 2, Die-B-Que, and The Dingleberries, among other Horror Comedies. Unfortunately, Warlock did not get the lifespan LBP did. Since those days, Warlock Home Video has also bitten the dust. However, there are some extremely accurate-looking SOV throwbacks out there, just waiting to be discovered. Though you might have to buy them from the man, himself. Chris Seaver hasn't done a hell of a lot since his Warlock days, but I'd be surprised if we have heard the last of him and his unique brand of humor. Such a deep passion for such a rad decade doesn't die easily. No, sir. I don't think Chris Seaver is quite finished blowing the 80's. 5/10



#Review

Spring Break 2018

Here's to a week that everybody in school gets off, so I'm expecting a pretty busy week at work. We have some decent movies at the theater, so people might actually want to get out this week.

I want to see The Strangers: Prey at Night, not because I liked the first one at all, but simply because it's white trash horror in a mainstream cinema. We had to have this standee removed because of a single complaint. 🙄

I've been kinda stressed out lately, because I've got to move, probably find a new job, finish building someone else's business website for them, and also finish my next novel. But instead of doing all that, I've been playing Left 4 Dead 2 with @ballz, @cyborg, and @der. That's probably what I'll be doing all week actually. I love that game.

So life is kind of a mixed bag, and with that said, I haven't had time to give it my all for this trash challenge, and that makes me weep. My head is all mixed up, so I'm hoping to get back on the right track and simplify my life, so I can focus more on filth. I'll probably watch Spring Breakers this week...

Ah fuck... I got to go to work! 🥴

Jean-Claude Van Johnson

I just started watching Jean-Claude Van Johnson this afternoon. Two episodes in and I'm already hooked. In the show, Jean-Claude Van Damme portrays a fictional version of himself who's both an actor and a spy. Because he's egotistical and kind of a dumbass, he's not very good at either job, frequently screwing over himself and others.


I'm not the biggest Van Damme fan. As an action actor, he's fine. I just haven't seen many of his movies and what I have seen hasn't always been good. However, there's something about an actor poking fun at their own life that usually works out to be entertaining and that's definitely the case here. Both episodes made me laugh several times.

Season one's only six thirty-minute episodes. Unless the quality takes a sudden nosedive, I'll probably finish watching by tomorrow. If you have Amazon Prime, you can watch it there. If not, there's always Kodi. Headed back there myself after I post this.

Has anyone else here watched Jean-Claude Van Johnson yet?