I think this is interesting

You guys, this has nothing to do with anything, I just think it's interesting. If you click on this page, look at the little cluster of republics numbered 13, 21, 12, 16, 18, 3, roughly located in the left half of the map. That area is northish of the Caspian Sea in the real world.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republics_of_Russia

All those "republics" (totally surrounded, dominated, run, owned, oppressed, etc by Russia) are almost like a whole other Europe, which is never in the news. Isn't that interesting?!? In the (Western) Europe we all are familiar with, most traditional languages are classified as either Romance, Germanic, or Celtic. In this other Europe that I'm talking about right now the languages are more closely related to Finnish, Hungarian, or Turkish. It really is another "Europe," or at least another part of Europe, because it is mostly to the west of the Ural mountains, I think.

Isn't that interesting? There are other republics, and "federal subjects" of Russia, within or along the edges of Russia, which seem to be administered in various different ways according to Russian law (and by the whims of the local oligarchs, I'm sure). Some of them, especially Chechnya, have been in the news over the years. Actually, that whole area, with all the little republics along the Russian border with former Soviet Georgia, has been in the news now and then over the years, because the Caucasus in general is very violent, and always has some terrorist activity going on... like, remember the Beslan slaughter of school children in 2004? ...... Tuva, near Mongolia, was in the news too, when a Richard Feynman book called Tuva or Bust was published a few years back.

But anyway, that little cluster of republics that I was just talking about up above is almost never in the news at all. In fact, I would say it never is. Can any of you guys think of a time when you have heard about Mordovia, Chuvashia, Mari El, Udmurtia, or Bashkortostan in the news?? Maybe you have read about them on your own, at some time in your life, but have you ever seen them in the news? Sorry, this has nothing to do with anything, I just think it's interesting.

Upgrade 2018 was pretty damn cool

Here's another Blumhouse movie. They're the lead distributors of mainstream horror/exploitation these days, and sometimes, they do all right. Upgrade stars Logan Marshall Green in an actual starring role. This guy usually plays bit parts like in Prometheus and Spiderman Homecoming, but they finally gave him more to work with, and he nails it.

He plays a quadriplegic who gets "upgraded" with a spinal chip as he searches for his wife's killer, and the rest is just cool fight scenes as he does his thing. Now, if you've watched the trailer, you can pick this movie apart beat for beat. I still enjoyed it though, because it had some cool, violent sci-fi shennanigans, but it wasn't CGI shit.

It kinda reminded me of Black Mirror in a way, because they do these kind of plots all the time. This was a bit more hardcore though.

Good shit. A fun ride.

Things with Commentary

I'm talking about the 1989 Canadian piece of trash known as "Things". I watched the commentary, looking for insight, and here's what I can say about that...

The commentary is labeled as having director Andrew Jordan and star Barry J. Gillis. When the movie starts, you can tell that there are a lot more people there. It's like a party, and they seem quick to get to drinking.

There's a lady on the track that never saw the movie at the time of the recording, and she just kinda rags on the movie the whole time. Eventually, she hates it so much, she leaves, and Barry J. Gillis leaves the commentary to deal with her. Perhaps she was his gf at the time?

Eventually, Barry comes back. He seemed to laugh at LOT throughout the thing. Everyone involved seems to have fond memories of making their self-proclaimed "worst movie ever". Even worse than Plan 9, they say.

They make fun of the one guy's boobs a lot, they talk about how important that porn star was for their marketing, and by the end of it, I think they were all pretty drunk.

It's mostly like watching a home movie with friends and relatives, and they laugh about all the stupid shit. I still don't know what they were thinking at the time of making the movie. I'm going to guess that they weren't thinking.

While you do get some insight on the movie, it's still never enough. Things. A horrifying experience that will rip apart your soul.

What movies did you watch or buy this week? (6/3)

I've had so little time lately but I did watch a few the past week.

The Maze
Kidnapped
Don't Touch My Daughter

Audio Commentary Tracks

This is my easiest way of earning points for the June challenge. While everyone else will be on summer vacation, we'll all be learning for the month, but I'm fine with that. I've still got a lot of dvds of my favorite horror movies, and I've probably forgotten most every commentary I've listened to at this point, so they're all fresh for a revisit.

What are some good audio commentary tracks on dvds? Hopefully, I might have one of these discs so I can listen. I think I need to start the challenge off with Things commentary. Will there be any insight to the madness of that movie? Have I listened to that commentary already? The world may never know.

Also, I think gimmicky commentaries can be great. I love how Spinal Tap does a commentary for their movie, in character. It's like a whole new movie.

Fave commentaries?
Who sounds bored, who sounds enthused? Cuz some of these can be boring as fuck.

Horror Period Piece Recs

I'm really into period piece movies right now. Anyone have any recs? Doesn't have to specifically be horror. Thriller and drama would be good also.

Jesus Franco

Hard person to work out
He's made a couple of decent films, and a few average films (so hes not completely incompetent)
but most are just plain crap. Watched one last night https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0209458/ Vampire Blues (1999)
The closest film to it is 'Hip Hop Locos(•)' It is impossible to make a film this bad unless
A/ you do it on purpose
B/ you're an imbecile

So what is it, is he just taking the piss, or did he just hit his head back in the 60s?

(•) Its actually worse than hip hop loco's as thats a film by a single dude, Vampire Blues had a crew of ppl working on it!

EDIT:


Jesus has discovered you can actually alter a pictures hue's, like he discovered back in the 1960s that one can zoom in and out with a camera.
Of course being Jesus he decided not to use it for the occasional florish, hes changing the colors for like 45 minutes out of the 90minute runtime.
Even a 8 yr old would go, hmmm perhaps I'm overusing this effect a bit too much

Documentary Challenge Rules

Should we go with the original HB rules I already got listed or the new TE rules with a point a minute? I'm undecided and we got long enough to before it begins to tweak some shit. We'll see what everyone thinks after 24 hours and then I'll make the progress thread.

New Video: 13 Reasons Why

The Mother's Week Challenge Progress Thread

Rather than only watching motherly movies on Mother's Day, why not watch them for the rest of the week too? That's the idea of the Mother's Week Challenge. You can watch any movie from any genre featuring any kind of mother. She could be a badass like Sarah Connor or a nutcase like Pamela Voorhees.

The challenge begins on Sunday, May 13th and ends on Saturday, May 19th. Make your spot here.



The point system for this challenge is based around individual qualities that you might find within a movie. Just for quick reference, here again are the rules for those points:

Title Point - The word "Mother", "Mom", or another variation is in the title

Character Point - A mother is a main character

Mother's Day Point - Mother's Day occurs (doesn't have to take place the entire time)

Fake Point - Someone pretends to be a mother (mainly have the Psycho movies in mind, or it could be something like an alien in disguise; e.g. Body Snatchers (1993))

Nude Point - A mother undresses

Sex Point - A mother masturbates or gets laid (can be claimed with the Nude Point if it's the same scene)

Fight Point - A mother gets into a fight with someone or something

Abuse Point - A mother abuses or tortures someone (physically or mentally)

Crime Point - A mother commits a crime (includes movies where it's initially unknown that the mother's the perpetrator)

Death Point - A mother dies

You may add 1 point per instance. For example, if a mother kills 3 people, you get 3 Crime Points. Please include your total points at the bottom or top of your spot. Only movies are allowed.

Discussion Thread https://trashepics.com/post/8/43/