Death Wish - The Remake!

For the love of God, I don't know why I always forget that Eli Roth has a "Death Wish" remake due out this year, starring Bruce Willis as Paul Kersey! Now, we all know Bruce Willis is a bit of an asshole in real life, but we choose to overlook this because he's always bad-ass in the movies. I figure a Bruce/Roth combo can be great, so long as Bruce doesn't step on Eli Roth's toes. Kevin Smith worked with Bruce on "Cop Out" and said Bruce was a real diva, and he hated working with him.

For some reason, that sticks in my mind, but then again, I can never overlook how great John McClane is, or how cool 12 Monkeys and Unbreakable are. So Bruce bashing aside, I'm into the idea of this remake.


Eli Roth is bad-ass. Love him or hate him, but I've always enjoyed his movies immensely. The dude is fun. I watched Cabin Fever a dozen times, and both his Hostel movies combined a dozen times. Green Inferno is good, Thanksgiving's trailer was amazing, "Knock Knock" is SOOO good and SOOO obnoxious at the same time... suffice to say, I love Eli Roth's work, and his enthusiasm for the genre (and his role in Inglourious Basterds).

The original "Death Wish" is great. I say that, but I prefer the sequels, for their more gratuitous bad-assery (that's a word now). Charles Bronson is one of the coolest bad-asses from the 50s to 90s, and Paul Kersey was a great franchise character that Bronson was always ready to come back to. There was talk of doing a Death Wish 6 where he passes on his revenge lore to the next gen vigilante. Could have been good!

Fun Fact: I met Michael Parks, who played a great villain in Death Wish V: The Faces of Death. Even when Bronson was old, he was still the coolest. Bruce might be able to pull it off!

OTHER Fun Fact: Sylvester Stallone was interested in the role for the longest time, but declined due to fans' protests. Stallone may charge a shit-ton at comic-cons, but I still gotta respect him!

Black and white "Classics" you haven't seen

I already have my watchlist https://trashepics.com/post/1/366/ , but like most of you would already guess, the list is never-ending. You always find more shit to watch, and somehow, there are always more movies that you missed.


Some black & white titles I'm hoping to scout out this month:

The Night of the Hunter (1955) - in the TE top 100, at # 57
The Haunting (1963) - I feel like I might have watched this, but I don't remember anything about it.
The Innocents (1961) - Ditto.
Diabolique (1955) - You'll see this in a lot of fave lists.
Dead of Night (1945) - Some kind of anthology? Also in a lot of fave horror lists.
Metropolis (1927) - Some sort of innovative film for back in its day? I heard there's a version with a Queen soundtrack.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923) - Lon Chaney, right? Man of thousand faces... ugly ones!
Casablanca (1942) - Something about nazis and a train? Probably why Bogart is regarded so highly...
Eyes without a Face (1960) - The imagery of that not-face/mask has become somewhat iconic.
The Elephant Man (1980) - David Lynch?!
The Body Snatcher (1945) - Some classy-looking Karloff movie?


There's probably a bunch of good William Castle flicks I've never seen, too. So are there any black and white movies regarded as classics that you still haven't seen? Even after knowing about them for years?

I finished Twilight Zone season 2, and I need to focus on movies now.

Job Interviews

Completely off topic. How many interviews have been to in your lifetime and how do go at them? I've been to countless, probably about 30 plus. I'm really good at putting an application together but suck at the interview process. I think it's an Australian cultural thing to feel like a complete wanker when you talk yourself up so it doesn't come naturally and feels very forced.

I was interviewed recently and the one thing that does piss me off no end is when you get that vibe they've already made up their mind about someone else and are just going through the motions. I'd much rather they call me and cancel than put me through that bullsit charade. A complete waste of mine and their time.

How are you at interviews? Do you have the gift of the gab?

Other Forums

I don't know about you, but I'm kind of losing it without other forums to use. 🥴 The other imdb replacements aren't proving themselves to be very competent, or they're just dead. I need new stomping grounds. We need more trash addicts!

What forums do you lurk, and perhaps even post in? Are message boards like this fading away in favor of sites like Facebook with groups and whatnot?

The Crow Remake

Ugh... there's talk of this happening again. 🙄

Everyone has been reluctant to make this movie happen, because Brandon Lee did such a terrific job in the original, and it always falls through. I've heard about this happening on many occasions, with many directors and actors attached, and every version was scrapped.

Now there's talk of Jason Mamoa taking over the role, and I'll be honest... I don't like that guy. Hasn't impressed me once, in any of the shit he's been in, but they keep casting him in any movie they can. He's already been in one shitty remake that nobody EVER talks about (Conan), and now they're casting this 6'4" beefcake to play Eric Draven? As if!

My hopes aren't very high for this movie. If it's like any of the other attempts to remake the movie, it'll get cancelled too.



Now, I know this movie has a stigma of Brandon Lee fanboys dismissing any possible new entry, but a remake is completely unnecessary. The crow mythology could be taken in various other directions, but the damn studios always tend to rehash everything.

Personally, I loved The Crow: City of Angels, with Vincent Perez as the title character. He did a great job, but nobody gives a fuck because everyone's too busy sucking Brandon Lee's rotten cock. They could make a new story about this stuff... but they don't have a fucking clue how to do it.

😞

Thoughts on The Crow '94 and/or the rest of the series?

The Crime Challenge Results

Now that everyone's had a few days to add up any final points, here are the results for the Crime Challenge https://trashepics.com/post/8/38/.

foz: 4711
Ballz: 4209
Box_a_Hair: 3789
BarkingBaphomet: 2202
Messiah_Of_Doom: 1326
iceflamez: 1292
Gymnopedie: 1256
ZombieCPA: 1101
Amon_101: 831
markus-san: 607
rogerthemoviemaniac8: 0
OnyxHades: 0

That makes @foz the winner. I tried to keep up, but he eventually managed to slip away from me. Congratulations.

Any favorite or least favorite FTVs?

My favorite FTVs were Casino (1995), along with Death Wish 4 and 5. I thought the Death Wish movies would get worse as they went, but they never really did. Had there been a part 6, I would've gladly watched that too.

The FTV I regret watching most was Guilty as Sin (1993). Took me two tries to even finish it. For a movie whose poster quotes a review calling it "an erotic thriller", it wasn't very erotic or thrilling.

Thanks to everyone who participated in this challenge. It's probably not a challenge worth having annually, but maybe we can try it again in a couple years.

Light up a smoke, cause life is no joke.



I just came back from seeing my favorite punky folky comedy rock band, The Dead Milkmen. Shortly after I got there I saw their singer Rodney Anonymous standing right in front of me. I shook his hand and had a brief chat about how much I love them. It was pretty amazing.

There was an odd mix of opening acts, all local. First was Mr. Kitty, who assume are named after Cartman's cat, a weird industrial electronic duo, not really my thing. Then came Chant, just one guy with an enormous drum set and recorded electronic music. His drumming was super impressive, easily the best of the openers. Then a kind of bland indie rock/punk band called The Golden Boys.

The Dead Milkmen were awesome of course. I was right up front, close enough I could read their set list taped to the floor in front of them and sang a few lines into the mic when it was stuck in my face.

Afterwards, while I was waiting for my bus, this pretty little hispanic twink came up to me, said "como estas", shook my hand and just held onto it and caressed it. He told me I was beautiful and asked if I was looking for a boyfriend. I politely told him no, then he asked if I would give him a hug. As flattered as I was, I had to shoot him down. Yikes. Besides, I bet he says that to all the guys.

Any chance to have a Documentary or Found Footage Challenge for the upcoming month?

Title says all!

Brutal prison movies?

With the opportunity of the challenge that's currently running i finally got the chance to check The Green Elephant (1999) and while it definitely qualifies as an "extreme" piece i thought that Uwe Boll's (as strange as it sounds) Stoic (2009) was more disturbing.

Any more recommendations?

Austin And Bundy: Two Peas In A Pod



OK, hear me out. Today, I'd like to talk about two unlikely pop culture icons, who, at first, may not seem all that similar, and in many ways, they're not. However Al Bundy and Stone Cold Steve Austin actually have a lot in common. Both were portrayed as the blue-collar every man, allowing them to easily relate to their audience with distinct personalities one could describe as "rough around the edges". The anomaly that was Austin and Bundy's abrasiveness made an impact that no one could have expected. Any other time in history, maybe neither of them would have been so lucky, but in the 1990's, pop culture started to change. People wanted something different. People wanted more of an edge to their entertainment. And thanks to these guys's influence, sitcoms and Pro Wrestling both became a little more interesting for a while. This isn't about who was better, but rather a celebration of them both. This one is for the ornery redneck and the born loser.

I'll start with Al since Married With Children began before Austin's Wrestling career. The sitcom began in 1987, and actually didn't start out as what it would eventually turn in to, come the 90's. Married With Children was always supposed to be "the Cosby Show alternative", meaning it was to be less squeaky clean and more "real" than your average sitcom. Actually, I've heard that, in the beginning, the idea was thrown around to call it "NOT The Cosby show". For some reason, that doesn't sound like it would have been a good idea. Al Bundy was a shoe salesman from Chicago, whose life hadn't turned out quite like he imagined, going by his teenage glory days, which was filled with pussy and touchdowns.

Al has a wife he's not overly fond of, named Peg. He married far too young, and has regretted it every day of his life. Al and Peg have two kids who they both would probably rather not exist. All Al has is the simple pleasures of football and beer. However the relaxation they may provide usually gets ruined by members of his unwanted family, or the neighbors, the Rhoades'. Al doesn't like them either. Steve is OK but Marcy is very much the fingernails on Al's chalkboard. Al had a shitty life, but, for some reason, many of us found comfort in this on Sunday nights. Married With Children was different. It offered something people had never seen before. Although once we had, and the popularity of this show and FOX sky rocketed, things began to change for the Bundys.

After a couple seasons, Married With Children began to change. Not necessarily for the worse. Better and worse, I guess. Much like Roseanne, Married With Children became an exaggerated version of it's former self, bordering on self-parody, at times. Al went from being an unhappy, low paid schmuck to a miserable bum who made about 2 bucks a week, and suddenly went from disliking his wife to finding her repulsive beyond words. Peg went from annoying and lazy to a worthless pile of shit. Al's daughter, Kelly, went from being a ditzy slut to a retard who couldn't even tie her shoes. Bud, however, Bud ended up the most normal, despite his petite frame and lack of pussy-getting skills. Although his "Grand master B" nickname suited him well. By the way; they're all apparently starving to death. Meanwhile, Marcy replaced Steve with pretty boy, Jefferson, who Al seemed to like more, so, at least there's that. Marcy, however, became an angry feminist who made it her mission to ruin anything Al found pleasure in, because that's just how they role. But the joke is on here, because Al thinks she's ugly as fuck.

In the latter years of the show, Al became more crude, sexist, and a borderline degenerate with a toxic body odor, which he was actually quite proud of. The running joke was always that Al never got his day in the sun, regardless of how close he came, at times. The live audience was like no other. They didn't just politely chuckle. They cheered. You could tell, they truly believed in Al and wanted good things for him, while laughing uncontrollably at his misfortune along the way, because it was the misfortune, and the acceptance of such, that made Al who he was. Married With Children was abruptly and unfairly cancelled in 1997, and Sunday nights have never been the same. However, many of us have fond memories of the days when Al walked through that door after a hellish day's work, where he found his wife, watching Oprah and eating bon bons. A man so defeated that suicide was never far from his mind. Only in the 90's would such a concept gain the following that it did.

And speaking of beloved concepts. What was it about good 'ol Stone Cold that people loved so much? Whatever it was, it was enough to take eyes off a red hot WCW and breath new life into a WWF that had been experiencing a five year slump, both creatively and financially. In 1997, the crumbling WWF's top heel experienced an explosion of popularity, forcing them to turn him babyface. This wasn't just "Wrestling popularity". This was something so huge, it has mainstream appeal, which has never been common even in Wrestling's best days. Coincidentally, this was around the time Married With Children ended. So, not only was Stone Cold passed the WWF torch, but also unknowingly took over as America's most beloved blue collar asshole. But let's back up a little.

In 1991, after getting broken into the business in World Class Championship Wrestling and USWA, Austin landed a job in WCW, and became known as Stunning Steve Austin. Over the next 4 years, Austin reached an above average level of success, winning the WCW Tag Team, Television, and U.S. Titles. It seemed as though Steve Austin was destined to carry "the big gold belt", made famous by Ric Flair. It's been said that 1994 was to be Austin's time. I've heard rumors that in the summer of that year, Austin was to go over Flair, making him the main eventer he was meant to be. Of course, we know now the man was meant to be much more than that. However, plans to make Steve "the guy" changed when a slightly washed up Hulk Hogan joined the company, derailing quite a few plans, I would imagine. Soon, it would become clear that if Steve Austin remained in WCW, he would be stuck in the mid-card.

After sticking it out in WCW for as long as he could, Steve was fired via Fed Ex after suffering an injury. Talk about turning piss into lemonade! Austin soon landed a job in what many still considered "the big time". The WWF. A WWF that desperately needed to change, but was still unaware. When Austin showed up, they stuck a silly gimmick on him like they did most of their acquisitions at the time. When Stone Cold's WWF career began, he was known as "The Ring Master". Not so much a gimmick as it was a name, but naturally, the fans didn't take to it. Eventually, Austin brought up the idea of a name change, and in extremely fortunate luck for everyone, his request was granted. Not long after this, Stone Cold Steve Austin got his ass over quick as the top heel. A push fueled by some groundbreaking mic skills, as well as help from guys like Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, whose legacies he would soon equal and eventually eclipse.

1998 was the year of Stone Cold. Steve not only won the WWF title in the main event of Wrestlemania 14, but helped the company gain some mainstream attention due to a staged rivalry with Mike Tyson. However it would be Autin's next rivalry that made the real difference. For reasons I'm not going to go into, Vince McMahon became a very hated man around this time, which was used to spark a new feud. "Ornery redneck vs. oppressive boss" gained the WWF ridiculous ratings and drastically altered the WWF's content for the better. Because of Steve Austin, the WWF was finally the powerhouse it once was, and to this day, Austin remains the only wrestler one would dare compare to Hulk Hogan in popularity. Unfortunately, after many great feuds and victories, Austin's career was cut short, due to neck injury. In 2003, Stone Cold quietly called it quits. Possibly the only quiet thing he ever did.

The pissed off redneck and the cursed failure. A 6-time WWF champion and a man who once scored four touchdowns in ONE game. Their lives certainly took different paths, and I think it's safe to say Mr. Bundy, as always, got the short end of the stick. However, just like Stone Cold, the already defeated shoe salesman made his mark in the world, and will forever be remembered for not only having great one-liners and shit-talking skills, but for always standing up for what he believes in. So, what does Al Bundy and Stone Cold Steve Austin really have in common? Well, we know both men hated their bosses and the world, in general, and they definitely loved their beer, but it's also safe say that neither man gave a damn what you thought of them. Ultimately, that's why they kicked so much ass!