Bullets of Justice

Planet of the Swine.



https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/bullets-of-justice-part-two-horror#/

Bates Motel - The Final Season

Holy hell, this show is good. I'll try not to say much because as to avoid spoilers, because this show can have a big impact if you let it. This fifth and final season is blurring the lines of a remake here, and it's got me giddy like a school girl.

This show is awesome.

New Nightmare vs. Halloween Resurrection

Freddy Kruger's last stand vs. the same of Michael Myers.
By now, I'm fully aware that most people don't respect the final Halloween entry.



But don't you people at least appreciate it more than the New Nightmare?



Both films are about an unstoppable killer getting mass publicity
(there's the connection you people were seeking).
The difference is that (with the exception of Busta Rhymes), Resurrection has the decency to take itself seriously.

In New Nightmare, you basically have a film parodying it's killer
(in the sense that Krueger is getting stronger with each and every film).
Freddy fared better when he was simply relying on dreams.
Also, this "film within a film" approach worked much better in Scream, in my horror opinion.

Halloween Resurrection is tough to beat: You have horny teens, suspense, and Busta Rhymes "busting up" some people.

New Nightmare: 4/10
Halloween Resurrection: 7.5/10

Berenstein Or Berenstain Bears Conspiracy

I was rewatching episodes of The Angry Video Game Nerd (yes, I'm hooked) and I came across his video on The Berestain Bears games. He stated in the video that he remembered it as being Berestein, and that's how I remember it as well. It seems as though evidence points it to always being Berenstain. I vividly recall it being Stein not Stain as a kid.



There are entire theories dedicated to The Berenstain Bears, and the Mandala Effect, along with other "false memories". Some people even seem to believe it points to alternate dimisions.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/the-berensteain-bears-conspiracy-theory-that-has-convinced-the-internet-there-are-parallel-universes


What do you remember it as? Do any of you have any theories? Or do you think a ton of people just have a shared false memory?

The Sect (1991) Review

Rather enjoyed The Sect (1991) last night. After his fun but blatantly flawed The Church, it shows Michele Soavi on the cusp of greatness. A rather standard, predictable set up in which a young school-teacher is entangled with murderous Satanists with a messy, slightly annoying cap off (though there's a possibility of the very final moments being somewhat inspired if only they were a little clearer) and one of Pino Donaggio's lesser scores. But full of delights too. From the outset, spurts of stylish and grisly violence (more about the artful splash of blood than the brutal impact), and Tomas Arana, Herbert Lom and an array of fellow sectists bringing ample creepiness. And as it gets in gear its imagery becomes vital. Consistently odd and engaging, and consistently popping up, blending readily comprehensible symbolism (bunnies and spirals) with more elusive weirdness (mysterious blue goo) to produce a fine sense of powerful doomy intrigue. Of a malevolent order beyond human agency inexorably asserting itself. The pace rarely flags despite a near two hour run time, and Kelly Curtis (sister of Jamie Lee) is a likeable protagonist. I might rank this third out of Soavi's four old horrors. But its still well worth a watch.

Rank the films of John Waters

Female Trouble
Pink Flamingos
Multiple Maniacs
Polyester
Desperate Living
Serial Mom
Hairspray
Mondo Trasho
A Dirty Shame
The Diane Linklatter Story
Cecil B. Demented
Cry-Baby
Pecker

Shot-On-Shiteo: Best Worst Throwback



Who is Josh Suire? Unfortunately, not nearly enough people know the answer to that question. Unfortunate because those who are unaware of this comic genius are seriously missing out. To know who Josh Suire is, first, one must know who Chris Seaver is. Seaver is one of the few remaining micro-budget filmmakers whose work really stands out. A comic genius in his own right, Chris Seaver is known for some of the weirdest, craziest, not to mention underrated/underseen Horror Comedies of the last decade plus. Putting out such trash epics as Teenape Goes To Camp and I Spit Chew On Your Grave. Both of which include Josh Suire. You could say he's been Seaver's go to guy. In fact, there's probably close to 30 of his films which you can find that stars Suire. And I've seen most of them. Trust me. You're missing out if you're not familiar with these low budget treasures. A few years ago, Josh Suire also gave gave directing a shot. Today, we're going to talk about one of his two movies. An Evening With My Great Aunt Bedelia, it's called. Oh, this has gotta be good!

An Evening With My Great Aunt Bedelia is very similar to the type of films Chris Seaver was making at the time. In fact, it was also part of the company they had going. Warlock Home Video, which specialized mostly in shot-on-video, 80's/early 90's throwbacks. Even being marketed as lost movies from the era. Warlock itself was portrayed as a company which went under years ago. In the spirit of the old S.O.V.s, Chris Seaver gave us such 80's homages as Stoinky Beach and Death-O-Lantern. Apparently inspired by these gems, Suire finally tried his hand at (bad) filmmaking, and in my humble opinion, managed to come up with something just as good, if not better... or worse. Depending on how you look at it.

An Evening With My Great Aunt Bedelia is set in 1993, and actually has the look and feel of some bad S.O.V. from the same year. Bedelia stars Josh Suire as Bedelia, and Amber Snook as her Great Niece, Edith, who recently lost her grandmother at the hands of the horrible Bedelia. Edith is summoned to the reading of the will, while her (obvious) homo boyfriend tags along. The lovebirds have hopes of using whatever money Edith inherits to start a Drive-In Theater. Even considering the obvious, as well as Edith's abusive nature, her and E.W. are actually kind of cute together. But that's neither here nor there.

We get the idea Edith and her Great Aunt aren't exactly tight. And this is confirmed once Edith arrives at the will reading. Unfortunately, Edith won't be inheriting her grandmother's estate due to Bedelia forcing her sister to change the will seconds before her murder. Bedelia ended up with everything, and Edith just got some dumb old book. But if we learned anything from Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark, that it's never just some dumb old book. As Edith learns of her grandmother's rivalry with Bedelia, she also discovers the jealous old hag is responsible for her death, as well as the Demonic assistance she conjured. Perhaps Grandmother knew what she was doing when she willed that book to Edith, because it happens to be her only hope to right this wrong, banish Bedelia, and keep the balance of good and evil intact.

And I realize none of that sounds too terribly weird. However, if you've seen Josh Suire in anything, especially in drag, then, you know this movie is just dripping with weirdness. Very similar to the LBP weirdness we know and love. And we'll just say the ripped off music from Return of The Living Dead, Troll 1 and Creedence Clearwater Revival is the icing on the cake. I should also point out what a fine job LBP/Warlock regular, Amber Snook, did in her role as Edith. She has come a long way since her debut in Terror At Blood Fart Lake. Although, Suire's boyfriend, who plays E.W. hasn't exactly come a long way since his role in I Spit Chew On our Grave, but goddamned if he's not every bit as hilarious. I'm totally up for more of that guy. As half assed as all of this clearly was, it's truly some of the funniest stuff I've seen in a low-budget Horror film.

Any fan of these movies may ask themselves why this Josh Suire guy never does anything else besides these movies, as he's obviously capable of branching out. And when it comes down to it, is ten times funnier than any of those dull fucks on Saturday Night Live, or whatever mainstream Comedies people like, nowadays. Well, I don't know the answer to that question. And as of now, Aunt Bedelia and a similar film, called Happy Helladays, are the only films Suire has directed. I guess all we can do is hope Chris Seaver keeps on making movies, and keeps on casting his weirdo friend, Josh. Because as long as he's in front of someone's camera, that's really all that matters. 8/10



#Review

Talking Trash: The History Of Multiple Maniacs



We were told it would never happen. We were told it wasn't possible. We were told it was just too expensive to even consider. Then again, we were all told, at one time or another, to never say never. And after years of John Waters insisting in interviews that a dvd/blu-ray release of Multiple Maniacs wasn't in the cards, well, there you go. Never say never, John.

And for those of you who don't know, the original version of Multiple Maniacs was scored with some rather popular music, which would have made it financially impossible to release it as is in modern times where the big corporations own everything, and are ready and willing to sue anyone who dare use one of their fucking songs in a movie without handing over millions. Mondo Trasho and Multiple Maniacs have both suffered from this problem. But luckily, something has finally been worked out for the latter. I'm not entirely convinced the silent Mondo Trasho would be worth the trouble, but John Waters' first talkie seriously needs to be seen by more people. And with it's new and improved, generic score, that has finally been made possible. Multiple Maniacs finally got the release it deserves.

Outside of Hairspray, when most people think of John Waters, they think of three movies. Pink Flamingos, Female Trouble and Desperate Living. And rightfully so. They all kick ass. But with this new release, the trashy three will no doubt become the trashy four. I say that because Multiple Maniacs is neck and neck with the others as far as shock value is concerned. Quality-wise, no so much. But trust me. You'll see some shit you've never seen before. Shit you might even wish you hadn't. While Pink Flamingos is widely considered the most shocking, Mutiple Maniacs very much holds the title as most mean-spirited of all the Dreamland pictures.

Multiple Maniacs stars all the Dreamlanders we remember, and maybe a few others. A story about terrible people doing terrible things. The psychotic Lady Divine and her gang of killers use their "Cavalcade Of Perversion" as a front for their true intentions. Before the unsuspecting victims are robbed and often killed, they're treated to some good old fashion weirdness, like "two queers kissing like lovers on the lips", and a heroin addict in withdrawal. Silly stuff by today's standards, but I'm guessing everyone's horrified reactions to these things were pretty spot on for the times.

The thing about Lady Divine is that she's getting really out of hand, lately. She's starting to lose it, and her temper and blood lust is even getting her boyfriend, Mr. David, a bit concerned. Not so much for her, since he hates her guts, but her recklessness and eagerness to take chances just to get in some extra kills, is going to fuck this up for everybody. Meanwhile, Mr. David and his mistress plot to kill Lady Divine so they can perform acts together as often as they please. No way would she let Mr. David walk. If he even tries, they're both as good as dead.

Before they can plan anything, one of Lady Divine's spies informs her that her man was spotted with another woman. As she rushes over to destroy them, Lady Divine is randomly attacked and raped by a couple of drug addicts, which changes everything. Bewildered, Lady Divine wanders into a Catholic Church where she makes a new friend. A "religious whore" named Mink takes a shining to Lady Divine, and proves so by giving her a Rosary job. That's right. A Rosary up the ass. This leads to Lady Divine going Lezbo and the two falling for each other. You would think this might solve everything, but this is a raving lunatic we're talking about, here. Lady Divine could be happy she has someone and just let Mr. David be happy with his new girlfriend, too, but then, she wouldn't get to kill and mutilate them both, and descend further into madness. There's no fun in that.

Shot where ever possible for only five Thousand Dollars, Multiple Maniacs is more rough and raw than any of the later trash epics, as Waters was clearly still trying to learn the art of filmmaking while shooting this. In fact, he did pretty much everything except the acting. Clearly, he learned a lot from this one, considering Pink Flamingos was leaps and bounds ahead of this in every way. But Multiple Maniacs is still the darkest of them all, flaunting a rebellious tone that can be heard loud and clear. I wouldn't say this film is John Waters at his best, but perhaps it is Divine at his. I can promise, you'll never see a meaner, nastier, more delusional Divine than in Multiple Maniacs.

Something that recently occurred to me while watching this on my new crystal clear Blu-ray, is that its the only one of Water's early trash films where the comedy is secondary to the shock value. In fact, most of the comedy comes from the lack of acting ability and other so bad they're good flaws. This film often feels like a drug-fueled Political Drama where no one has a bit of common sense and eveything goes very, very bad, spiraling out of control into territory nobody saw coming. All I can say is that John Waters must have had access to some killer acid in his day. 5/10



#Review

Slightly late Easter-related comedy

I was at my father's place for a few days, visiting him and some cousins who were also there. I had a couple things I wanted to post here, but A.)I didn't have my password with me, to log on, and B.)my cousin's kids were keeping me too busy for me to sit down quietly for five minutes anyway.

I think I might have forgotten something I wanted to post here, but, this is something that I wanted to post. I always think of these scenes on Easter. I like the way the little girl looks at Ethan Suplee as he is calling her a dumb bastard... she looks so contemptuous.



This is a classic moment too, when Jay and Silent Bob beat up the Easter Bunny, and, in turn, get beaten up by a bunch of little kids. I almost posted this on Facebook on Easter, but Jay swears a little too much. Some of my Facebook Friends are the parents of the friends I had when I was the age of the little kids in this video...I can't bring myself to condone swearing in a forum where I know they'll see it.

The ending of The Mist (short story)

The end of the Stephen King short story The Mist is NOTHING like the ending of the movie. So, if you want to say something here about the ending of the movie, OK, but that's not what I'm talking about right now.

In the short story, the main character (played by Thomas Jane in the movie) hears the word Hartford on their car radio, as they are driving away from the supermarket. If you lived in New England, like Stephen King, you would know that that means Hartford, Connecticut... that's a long way from Maine, especially in the environmental conditions of The Mist, but at least it gave him a goal. The way the story ended, it seemed like they were going to try to drive all the way to Hartford, although I would imagine that it could take them several days, or weeks.

And then, right after that, the main character says two words to his son, as the son is going to sleep. The words are supposed to be a sort of charm against nightmares, and he says one of themis "hope," and the other is a word that "sounds a bit like hope."

Has anyone else here ever spent time wondering about this? I'm not sure what the other word could be. Maybe "home," but that doesn't quite make sense... would he have said hope home? Home hope? Neither of those exactly make sense... someone on a thread I'm about to post here mentioned "soap-on-a-rope," ha ha. Or, how about "Pope-on-a-rope!" Yeah, that's probably what it was.

Seriously, does anyone have any theories about what he meant? Here is a little discussion I found, with some people talking about this.
https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-175590.html