Thale

Anyone seen this? I found it on Blu ray the other day cheap and thought it looked interesting so i bought it. I'd never heard of it.

Twitter is filled with robots

Apparently 48 million twitter accounts are just robots. Goddamn robots!

Klownz has a lot of followers on TE's twitter account, but we don't have any of them as actual users here. I'm pretty sure most of them are robots.

VOMIT GORE 4 - Black Mass of the Nazi Sex Wizard

Lucifer Valentine is back with a prequel to the vomit gore trilogy! Fingers crossed it will be on par with ReGOREgitated Sacrifice!

Check out the trailer :)

Check This Out.

Apologies if I already posted this here but since IMDB went full retard I can't remember what sites I have posted what on!

But anyfucking way here is a site: https://www.imdbarchive.com/ that has archived pretty much every old thread on everything that was on IMDB & they have this extension: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/imdb-archive-extension/celejjkkiipeokbgcgakogmmfbmonmem and I think a few others if you don't use chrome.

But what the extension does is puts the forums back on every film as they were before... the site itself is completely inactive so useless for conversation but if like me you enjoyed reading through old topics on obscure films & want to see the forums back where they were this is good shit.

Mark of the Devil (1970)

As a horror fan, I love history. Lets face it, mankind has done some pretty brutal stuff. We have done everything from atrocities to holocausts in every nation and every time period. History is a blood bath, and as horrible as it is, I do find some of that stuff interesting. Call it morbid curiosity, but some of that stuff equally frightens me and intrigues me. One particular atrocity that I hadn't given much thought to was the mass hysteria surrounding witch trials. Between the 15th and 18th centuries, a practise called 'witch hunting' was common place. Men of the Church would place women and men accused of witch craft on trial and if they were found guilty, they were executed, all in the name of justice and God. Sounds pretty horrible right? It is, especially since the trials of these people were no more than an excuse to torture them. So is the story of this interesting little obscure horror flick from the 70s, with a hint of a history lesson to boot. This is Mark of the Devil.

To begin, lets introduce our witch hunters. First up, in the red corner, smirking with pedophile eyes, we have the hideous and slimy bloke called Ugly Bugger. Okay you got me, he's actually called Albino, but this is what he looks like...



So we're agreed, he shall hereby be referred to as Ugly Bugger.

In the blue corner, with the shiny hair, sexy eyes, and warmth radiating off him, with have the young and beautiful Christian, played by surprisingly charming Udo Kier. Yeah yeah, I know you people are judging me, but dead set, he was a real looker back them.



Well hello, Mr Kier. Mmmmmmmm.

And finally, our heavy weight champion, the king witch hunter of them all, Lord Cumberland!



Looks like a hard man doesn't he. Played brilliantly by Herbert Lom, he gets my applause of playing the scumbag of the movie. Impotent unless raping women, this guy takes evil to a whole new level. Heh, I guess he's not such a hard man after all. Heheh.
Okay, I'm not being fair on him, I will say that Mr Cumberland has the best excuse for skipping out on work. It was too cold in the room for him. That was his excuse! I guess something came up.... heheh.

I'm funny.

Amidst all the torture and sadism, we have a love story. Awwwww, and it's just beautiful too, with running in the fields and songs that go "la la la". Seriously, it's just the sweetest thing. Between Christian, (the only good witch hunter) and Vanessa, a beautiful lady who seems to fall for Christian instantly. Ah, but here's where the story gets tragic, Vanessa is accused of being a witch. We know she's not, her accuser is Ugly Bugger, and he is only accusing her because she foiled his plan to rape her. So how will this story end? Will Ugly Bugger and Lord unable to Cumberland (heheh) succeed in killing even more innocent people, or will Christian finally see the truth of the injustices and help save his true love? You'll have to watch to find out.

The first thing I want to address about this movie, is my gosh it's disturbing. Some people might say it's dated or fake, but I highly disagree! Aside from the fact that this stuff happened, a lot, the portrayal of it is unflinching. The medieval torture methods were both painstakingly brutal and excruciating. Sadism at its finest. On top of the, the knowledge that so many people suffered because people of the Church abused their power and spread mass hysteria really is a daunting realisation. There are scenes in this movie you won't soon forget, with gruesome effects and lots of blood, this movie has a way of getting under your skin.

The second thing I gotta address is the score. What an amazing soundtrack. Both dramatic and beautiful, this really went with the movie so well. I later found out from Tromafreak that Hobo with a Shotgun even borrowed from this soundtrack, and I never even noticed. Fantastic score, I loved it.

Finally, the acting. Now lots of b grade flicks get a raw deal when it comes to acting, but here it was top notch. Tension and epic one liners really made watching this movie such an enjoyable experience. Kudos to Udo, Lom and yes, even Ugly Bugger, for some very fine performances, well done!

Epic scene time, the confrontation between Lord Cumberland and Ugly Bugger. Easily my favourite scene in the whole movie, from the dramatic music, to the frightening cold monologue from Ugly Bugger, to the rattling of the metal wall decoration on the floor. You have to see this scene to know how truly epic it is.

Epic shot time, the best shot of the entire movie, a point of view shot where a man is wrestling with a girl and a knife. From his point of view we watch the knife dance in front his face, which for all intents and purposes, is our face. Suddenly, an explosion of light and red flashes the screen. We already know he's been stabbed in the eye before we even see the effects, what a brilliant shot! This was made in the 70s, guys, that was truly awesome! In fact, the effects all round were awesome! Especially seeing some of those medieval devices. Wow!

So, final thoughts? It's awesome. Watch it, watch it now! (It appears I gets lazy in my summation, but you get the gist).

9/10

Watch it on youtube, or buy it, cos it's totally worth it.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065491/reference



Thankyou.

High School Confessions

Nothing is more revealing about someone than a HS confession.
Post yours here.

I was a major loser my sophomore year.
I got a 19 on a World History mid-term. Yes, a nineteen.
Despite being average height and build, it took me over 11 minutes to run the mile.
Yes, over eleven.
I feel better not taking these harmless yet jaw-dropping secrets to my grave.
Praise be to Allah (per se).

HIM announce farewell tour

The Finnish love metal band "HIM" have announced that they're calling it quits after 26 years. Not sure if many people know of this band, but they've always been one of my favorites.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to BE Ville Valo, and based my life around him. He is one sexy dude. Now, I'm not nearly as into the band as I once was, but they've always been pretty solid. Everything's gotta come to an end eventually...

Return To Sleepaway Camp (2008)



The Sleepaway Camp franchise is an unusual one. Some might even say an unnecessary one. And I might tend to agree. The first installment is an otherwise mediocre slasher from the early 80's which flaunts a mind blowing ending. One of the scariest as well as shocking endings in Horror history, in my opinion. And an ending which permanently put this film on the map. Some years later, Two sequels were made. Two very different sequels taken in a new direction by a new director, and starring a new actress in the lead role, as Angela. Practically a new character all together. Played by Bruce Springsteen's little sister, Pamela, Angela 2 was more of a wise cracking prude in these sequels who just went around killing people who annoyed her. Both these films lacked storylines for the most part, and came off more like shameless cash-ins, having almost nothing to do with the original. Both dissappointing if you're a huge fan of the original, but somewhat fun if you don't put too much thought into it.



Alot of people probably don't know it, but there was a part 4 in this series made in the early 90's. Almost, that is. An abondoned project with only a fraction of the intended scenes intact. They were released on dvd a few years ago mixed with scenes from the first three movies in order to pad it out and make it somewhat relevant to the series. It didn't work. In 2008, original director, Robert Hilzik, finally returned to make some sense of all this and once and for all give us the real sequel we've all been waiting for. It didn't work.

First of all, Return To Sleepaway Camp is a bad movie, and there's no getting away from that. It's absolutely mind blowing that THIS is what Hilzik finally came up with after 20 years to think it over whilst watching these pseudo-sequels tarnish the series. Return is universally hated, And for many good reasons. I could never fault anyone for seeing it as anything but a dissappointment. BUT I personally found it to be one of the funniest goddamn movies I've ever seen. But only because of one character. One very pointless, random character that seems to exist mainly to mess with the viewer's heads. No other explanation makes sense. Some might say this person is annoying. And he certainly is. But I very well might be the only person on the planet who sees Alan as a positive for this movie. Because, without him, there's not really anything left to say. Like it or not, Alan IS Return To Sleepaway Camp.

Alan is a ridiculous sack of fat shit with serious anger issues and an apparent fear of bathing, or changing clothes. A whiny spaz who allegedly has mental problems, and milks this for all it's worth to get sympathy. He gets picked on mercilessly by his peers to the point that you might feel sorry for him. But then he turns around and does the same to the smaller kids. And is a complete dick to the authority figures who could otherwise be on his side. But nobody cares about Alan's fat ass. And within the first minute of watching him in action, you can't really blame them. As unhappy as he is at camp Manabe, Alan is stuck here for the Summer. He seems to take great pleasure in tormenting those smaller than him, yet, one could easily picture him going on a killing spree once the tables are turned. That's what this movie mainly is. Just one teaser after the other. Is Alan insane or simply misunderstood? Does it even matter? No, it does not. We are treated to a few inventive murders between Alan's tantrums. So, there is a killer amongst all this stupidity, which doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything. It's painfully obvious who is doing this, but then we keep on going back to the fat kid. Insane or misunderstood? Again. Doesn't matter.

Besides Alan, and the return of the original "you know who", Return To sleepaway Camp also has South Park's Isaac Hayes playing the role of "Chef", that Big Pussy guy from The Sopranos, the counselor with the short shorts from the original, and also, Angela's cousin, Ricky. If there was anyone in this movie to root for, I guess it would be those two. Although, they're nowhere near being significant characters. Oh, no! There's only one significant character in this movie. And he's got plenty of sand in his vagina. Alan goes back and forth between getting shat upon by everyone, to fucking with the little kids, to having an emotional breakdown, to taunting those who pick on himn, to telling the authority figures "your ass stinks". A phrase used about a dozen times in this movie. And God help me, it never gets old.

I'm sure most people find the Alan character a confusing one. And most likely, an infuriating one. Especially if you were hoping for a sequel where Felissa Rose is the main attraction. I'll admit, it does take alot of nerve to pull something like this after making fans wait decades for the real sequel. Like it or not, this one's it. But I think I get what Robert Hilzik was going for with this kid. Alan is a parody of the idea that the kid that gets picked on could one day snap and kill everybody. It's all just done in a completely outlandish manner. And while I think it was a great idea that was done very well, at times, Hilzik seemed to neglect every other aspect of the story. and the movie, as a whole, turned out pretty bad. At times, It seemed as though Hilzik put no thought into what Sleepaway Camp fans might want to see, and just got high and lost track of everything after coming up with this weird plot that should have been more of a comical sub-plot. At some point, he should have realized this approach would kill the movie's chances of ever gaining a fanbase. But he just never did.

Unfortunately, not enough people got the joke (or thought it was funny) for there to be future sequels. I heard about a possible Sleepaway Camp Reunion for years after this came out. A finale, I asume. But I'd imagine funding isn't so easy to come by for Robert Hilzik, anymore, because I haven't heard a thing about this in forever. I guess that's all she wrote for Angela Baker. Thanks alot, Hilzik! You and your fat little asshole finally killed the franchise just when it was getting back on its feet. But I don't care what anyone says. I still like this movie. Hopefully, one more will happen one of these days. But I'm not holding my breath. Like it or not, Return To Sleepaway Camp IS currently the finale, and probably always will be. Who knows? Maybe future generations will get the joke, and be able to overlook the horrible mistake this movie actually is. 7/10



#Review #Slasher

Is anyone interested in playing forum rpgs

If anyone interested in playing forum rpgs. Like you pick a character and then pick actions for them and thrn dice are roled to see if the action is good or bad.

Attack Of The Beast Creatures (1985)



When writing about a movie, I usually like to start out by offering some sort of backgroud info, regardless of how loosely related it might be. But that's just not going to happen, this time. This time, I don't know shit. And sadly, I don't know how to know shit. That's because the movie I'm going to tell you about is that obscure. The term "obscure", when referring to film, is somewhat obsolete, these days. Since dvds popped up, that word has had less and less meaning. Movies which were once obscure became easily obtainable. And with even more ways to find movies, nowadays, along with audio commentaries and documentaries, the term "obscure" doesn't get used much. And if it does, it probably shouldn't. But there are a few Horror films left still worthy of this status. Today, I'm going to talk about a movie called Attack Of The Beast Creatures. Not impossible to find. In fact, it can currently be watched on Youtube. However, no dvd of this exists, while vhs copies are becoming harder and harder to find. And from what I've seen, no information exists. That, I find intriguing.

How did this happen? Of all the horrible, boring B-movies that have even made it to Blu-ray by now, and have long gotten their stories told, why has no one bothered to dust off this gem and introduce it to a new generation, as well as the old one who missed out? That's a question which may never be answered. But for now, lets try to make a little sense out of this lost enigma of backyard cinema.

Alright, well, making sense probably ain't gonna happen, but I can try my best to explain things. First of all, I would put this in the category of the many Gremlins ripoffs of the 80's. In fact, this might be the first, since it was made the very next year. Attack Of The Beast Creatures is no doubt the most unusual of its breed. Aside from having a surreal, almost dreamlike tone, this movie takes place in 1920, which isn't all that obvious at any point. It starts out reminding me very much of Troma's War, of all movies. There's no explosions, and nobody ever gets infected with the AIDS, However, we start with some survivors of a sunken ship, barely making it to a near by island. They all get along fairly well, except some cranky old bastard, making things more difficult than they should be. One of them dies, or is pretty close to death. The others take off and leave him, regardless. Later, a couple of them go back, only to discover his bones have been picked clean. This is our first indication that these people are probably fucked. One of them wishes out loud that it should have been the cranky old bastard who died, which seems to hurt his feelings, as he storms off in a huff.

And that night, just as everyone gets comfortable enough to sleep out in the woods, it happens! People from behind the camera start throwing these red dolls at everyone, as they freak out and act as if they're being killed in a violent manner. No claymation, no fx of any kind. Just dolls being thrown and dolls being held while people pretend to be bitten. This happens quite a few times over the next day or two, as the survivors make their way to higher ground, and possibly food or help. As they fight off the little red bastards, they encounter an acid creek. No. Not the good kind of acid creek. The type that melts your skin off. One guy finds that out the hard way. As their numbers decrease, the survivors stumble upon the creature's turf, where they find them all worshiping a giant statue. This discovery does add some unexpected character development to these things, as pointless as it may have been. Strangely, this is nothing that's ever followed up on or explained in the least.

One thing I love about this movie is that nothing really ever is explained, or made sense out of at all. I'm sure this is at least partly due to a lack of creativity. However, it really works, as there is a certain mystique about Attack Of The Beast Creatures. Being rare is only half of it. There's just something about it that sets it apart from other low-budget Horror movies. An indescribable tone that can only be found in movies like Troll 2 or Manos:The Hands Of Fate. I don't know if this film was meant to seem as surreal as it does, but as someone who obviously wasn't very knowledgeable on movie making, the director did a great job at coming up with something unlike anything else, before or since. Besides the whole Gremlins thing, of course. But who knows? Maybe this just happened to be made around the same time, automatically putting it in that category. We don't know. We don't know anything about beast creatures. At least not yet. 6/10



#Review