One thing is for sure. When you find yourself watching an anti-marijuana drama, and at some point, one of the characters tastes some pot after buying a batch just to see if it's the good shit or not, then, you know you've found something worth watching. A film called Mary Jane was made in the late 60's. A time when America was just starting to become less and less anti-marijuana, as well as less likely to fall for obvious bullshit. So, you can already tell Mary Jane never had a hell of a lot going for it. Today, this film might appeal to those of us who love a bad, cheesy movie, but such a film with so little self awareness had very little purpose when originally released. But having a soft spot for pointless and underseen little films like this, I just got to throw this out there. So, today, we're going to talk about Mary Jane.
First of all, Fabian is in it. Now, I'm not sure what this guy's deal was. I mean, he was in a lot of movies in the 60's, but it's unclear to me as to why he doesn't have a last name. Was he a massive star like Madonna or Prince? Considering Mary Jane is part of his filmography, I highly doubt it. But he seems okay. In Mary Jane, Fabian plays young teacher, Phil Blake. A nice guy who actually wants to be a friend to his students. Phil is an art teacher, as well as assistant coach for the football team. On this team, there are several members of a clique of potheads who regularly make trouble. This gang of would be-delinquents is headed by preppy little cocksucker, Jordan Bates, who is very much aware of how much the coach needs him and his burned out pals, and regularly takes advantage of the favortism the coach is forced to show them. However, Jordan and his gang get no favortism from Phil Blake.
Several things are happening in this film which are all intertwined. First, Lonely Jerry, who recently struck up a friendship with Mr. Blake, wants in Jordan's pothead club more than anything in the world, because he feels like he doesn't fit in anywhere else. Well, Jordan and pals aren't interested in depressed fags, and at first, they tell the kid to shove off. But after discussing it further, they decide to jerk him around for a while, and make him think he has a shot. Making him go through all sorts of "initiations". One member thinks "That would be a ball". I couldn't have said it better myself.
Secondly, Mr. Blake has his eye on a fellow teacher. A pretty little blonde by the name of Elli Holden. A nice enough woman. She's polite to him, and agrees to hang out. They sort of go out on a day-date. Well, actually, he accompanies her to go visit her dad in a nursing home. She even makes him wait outside. Despite no signals being sent by Elli, Mr. Blake still decides to go for it and makes his move. Not only is he shot down, but Elli is visibly upset, and this pretty much ended the so-called date. As far as we can see, Elli Holden is merely an ice queen. Either way, Mr. Blake's attention would be better served elsewhere.
Which brings us to the main storyline. The pot has become a big problem in this town, and mainly, with the teenagers at this particular highschool. Their abuse and all around irresponsible behavior is getting out of hand. One girl recently died in a pot-induced car accident, and nobody knows who is supplying this drug that is causing all this trouble. Us viewers knows it's that rotten little sonofabitch, Jordan Bates, but he's got everyone else fooled. Meanwhile, the faculty holds a meeting to figure things out. Teachers are pressured by the police chief to spy on students in order to find out where they're getting their stash from, but Phil Blake speaks out against this method and lives to regret it, as everyone now thinks he's a raging pot addict who is possibly behind all of this.
As far as silly, anti-pot movies go, this one is actually pretty reasonable in the end. Focusing not so much on the evils of pot, but the fact that teenagers are abusing it and fucking up. Everyone but Phil Blake acts like they're all smoking meth. He admits to the faculty that he smoked it once in college but has no interest in doing it again, but he's immediately made a pariah by the police chief, while nobody has his back out of fear of receiving the same treatment. It seems as if this movie has a deeper message than just the anti-pot thing. It's better to think for yourself and be an individual than a follower and a coward. Be happy with yourself and always do what you feel is right no matter how it makes you look.Also, I should mention that Jordan's sweet-natured girlfriend, Susan, was played by none other than Patty McCormick. Better known as Rhoda from The Bad Seed. One of my all time favorite Horror movies. She grew up to be a pretty cute chick, I must say. The legendary Terri Garr also graces us with her presence in this, playing a minor role as one of Jordan's followers. Everyone is pretty great in their roles. Especially Fabian as the laid back teacher with integrity who genuinely wants to make a positive difference in young lives. And as I said, This is a very out of place anti-drug movie, and the fact that it never gained an audience is not surprising. But much like it's main character, Mary Jane at least seems to have meant well. 6/10
#Review
"The Devil's Advocates" is what they called themselves. They'd like you to think they be some mean mothers, but in reality, they're merely a bunch of crude, obnoxious drug addicts who kid around with each other ALOT. But like any biker gang, there's power in numbers, so, they have no problem acting tough when necessary. Led by a ruffian named Adam, The Devil's Advocates ride across country, fancying themselves whatever the hell, raising all sorts of hell, but nothing too out of hand, from what I see. One of the members, a psychic/fortune teller type, insists some kind of danger hovers over the gang. The gang decides a nearby Satanic monastery is responsible. They also decide that going there is the best move. In one of many scenes which suggests nobody has any idea of what to do, the gang gets all rowdy with each other outside the monastery, and carried away with their rough housing, not noticing how fucked up it is that they've been surrounded by a bunch of Satanic monks.
At first, the monks seem ok, showering them all with wine and bread. One of the advocates suggests that all they need now is some dancers. The dancers never show up. And within seconds, The Devil's Advocates all pass out from the wine. Long enough for the monks to kidnap Adam's girlfriend and take her inside to be their sacrifice. Everyone comes to just in time to save her, but while doing so, a curse has been placed upon them. These guys aren't too bright, but bright enough to figure out that something bad just happened. Adam, the alleged brains of the outfit, decides they all need to head out to the desert to get their head straight. Good plan, I could certainly think of worse places to do so.
As they head out into the desert to hang out and horse around, very few of them are all that concerned any more. A lot of fuckin', drug taking and laughing with seemingly no point intended. However, a couple of them are torn to shreds by a werewolf on the first night. At least one, that is. The next morning, a funeral is had, once the bodies are discovered. With the usual beer and cocaine, of course. They all seem to get over the shock as they walk away. "We can't be goddamn women over these things", claims Adam. Wiser words were never spoken. As the boys have a fun filled day of stealing gas for their sweet rides, and picking on some ornery, old fat man, The Advocates head back to their new favorite hangout to turn over a car which was occupied by Adam and his bitch. Just for laughs, of course. A guy called Movie is torn to shreds that night, which makes the boys even more suspicious that something isn't right. That's three of them dead, now. There's definitely something wrong.
The Toxic Avenger 2 was inevitable, but I doubt anyone expected (or wanted) a 3 hour movie. Kaufman and Herz went a little overboard with the shot footage, but it was later decided that there was enough of it to make 2 movies. So, in 1989, Troma not only released The Toxic Avenger 2, but part 3, as well. And as a longtime fan of the original, I can't express my disgust and disappointment enough. 2 and 3 were simply awful. These films lacked the grittiness and B-movie charm of Toxie 1, which was replaced with a more whimsical feel, and less gruesome, more cartoonish violence. Plus, the continuity was garbage. Toxie was a good 5 inches shorter, with a younger, more friendly sounding voice. His girlfriend Sarah is now called "claire" and is a dumbass. While totally different, this was obviously from the same people as the original, but obviously different for a reason. With money and success comes compromise. I'd say sponsors frowned upon the violence and certain politically incorrect jokes from Toxie 1, and probably assumed the sequels would be just as successful if it was more kid friendly. Wrong, money hungry cunts!
We're treated to many "fish out of water" jokes with Toxie and Noxie. Toxie deals with all sorts of Amortville scum and perverts, while Noxie knocks off half the Tromaville population in a comically gruesome manner, convincing everyone that Toxie has snapped. As Toxie battles an evil kabukiman and other bad guys on the other side, Noxie knocks up Sarah after a raping, which means she's now pregnant with two fetuses. One from Toxie and one from Noxie. But after meeting Sarah's counterpart, Claire, and his dead sidekick's counterpart, Toxie may have found a way to get himself and his retards back home, where there will be hell to pay for The Noxious Offender.
As much as some of the humor wears on my nerves, sometimes, they really did get it right with this one. Citizen Toxie is basically a cross between the original Toxic Avenger and Terror Firmer, which probably wasn't a surprise to anyone. The homage to The Wizard Of Oz, the intentional continuity errors, and of course the whole retard thing ultimately made this film a fun and satisfying experience. Troma pulled out all the stops, here, with cameo after cameo, featuring appearances by Trent Haaga, Lemmy, Will Keenen, Ron Jeremy (as the Mayor), Eli Roth, Corey Feldman, and none other than Mark Torgl in a very unexpected appearance. To me, Heidi Sjursen's portrayal of Sarah was also one of the highlights. She more or less made a joke out of the character, and looks to be younger than the original was way back in 1984, She seems to get dumber and dumber as the story progresses, which is pretty hot.
But first, a little backstory leading to this point in time. From the late 50's to the early 70's, Herschell Lewis exploited just about every exploitable taboo in his films. From Nudie Cuties to Hixploitation, the man covered a lot of ground. However, there's only one taboo he will be remembered for. We all know that's the Gore. But not just gore, itself. Herschell along with his producer and friend, David F. Friedman, made history by making the balsy move of being the first people to come out with Horror (for the lack of a better word) films with kill scenes which included graphic violence. Fake looking, yes. But there was just so much of it! Not that they could compare with a Martyrs or a Dead Alive, but this was groundbreaking stuff for 1963. And those who weren't impressed by this, were absolutely outraged and sickened. But tough shit. There were no laws preventing the gore. Nor would there ever be.
For a while, it may have seemed these films, and maybe even the era itself, had been forgotten. But with the emergence of Something Weird Video, the world would be reminded, and a new generation would be made aware of Herschell Gordon Lewis' contributions and the impact it had. He didn't know it yet, but Herschell had become a legend. Thanks to Mike Vraney, we were treated to dvd releases of most of Herschell's films, packed with extras, usually including some entertaining and informative audio commentary tracks by Herschell himself, telling his story, piece by piece. As something Weird Video breaths new life into the old films, it becomes more and more clear over the years, that making another film might be an option. And in 2002, thirty years after The Gore Gore Girls, Herschell finally gave all the gorehounds what they were craving with a sequel to his most famous film, Blood Feast. However, there would be high expectations for a Blood Feast 2. And rightfully so.
Unlike the original Blood Feast, as well as most of Herschell's gore films, this sequel was not filmed in Florida. To me, that takes away, but isn't unforgivable. I guess the story is supposed to take place in Miami, though. In Blood Feast 2, we meet the grandson of Fuad Ramses, cleverly named Fuad Ramses III. Fuad the 3rd has inherited his grandfather's catering business, which he is now taking over. I have no idea how this works, exactly. Did he actually inherit this place from his father, who originally inherited it from Fuad the 1st, decades ago, or are we supposed to think no time has passed since 1963? If so, they're doing a shitty job of making it look like it's 1963.
Most of the "so bad it's good" humor comes from two places. The oblivious cops, and a rather cunty woman named Mrs. Lampley, who's daughter is getting married. The Lampleys come to Fuad the 3rd to cater the reception. Mrs. lampley is a horrible, controlling woman, who you just know is going to get it sooner or later. She probably has the best lines in the movie, though. Meanwhile, Fuad the 3rd is on a killing spree so he can please Ishtar as well as his new clients. Which brings us back to the cops. One, a fat fuck, who constantly feeds his fat face in literally every scene he's in. And the other, a green little gipper who could pass for a junior in highschool. The two of them make asses of themselves as they try to make sense out of all the gore. Never once are they on the same page, as they both suspect Fuad, but at different stages in the movie. Even when evidence stares them right in the face, they still don't get it. Meanwhile, the arrogant Fuad barely even has to try and cover his tracks. Where's Thomas Wood when you need him?
The release of Heaven and Hell conveniently came out around the same time as Ozzy's first solo album. Most anyone doubting the capabilities of this new guy was no doubt put in their place pretty quick by this refreshing new take on this no longer familiar band. What is now considered the traditional Sabbathy sound, had been replaced by a more contemporary Metal sound, perfect for the times. Black Sabbath was indeed back. But sadly, this new version would slowly crumble, as drummer, Bill Ward, took off not too long after this, due to personal issues. There would be one more album with Dio, but with a new drummer. A guy named Vinny Appice, who did a fairly good job filling in for the burnt out Ward. Not long after this, there was a huge disagreement, Dio left he band, took Appice with him, and started his legendary solo career. And so begins Black Sabbath's so-called dark period.
Ten years and five albums later, Sabbath had become about as irrelevant as it was going to get. With its current era having little identity due to constant bass and drum changes, Iommi had no problem telling current singer, Tony Martin, and whoever else, to get lost, as the team of Dio/Appice was returing to the fold. And of course. Geezer too. After one pain in the ass recording process, Dehumanizer was born. A very un-Dio-Sabbathy bunch of songs. Uninspired, uninteresting, and put bluntly, a little hard on the ears. A growly Dio sounds like shit on this one for some reason, and really, they all do. I don't know what happened, but Fuck Dehumanizer. That's all I got to say. And who really cares about Black Sabbath in 1992, anyway?
Not bad at all. Dio, Iommi, Butler and Appice left Black Sabbath behind and the baggage and drama that came with it, and just did what they do best; Create amazing music. I wouldn't put this one quite up there with the Heaven and Hell and Mob Rules albums, but this is a far cry from Dehumanizer, which left a bad taste in many mouths for many years, until The Devil You Know finally came along and made up for it. Any fan of of this Sabbath incarnation should have no trouble forgetitng this is not an official Sabbath album. Because when it comes down to it, the music is all that matters in the end.
After a successful release and tour, plans were already in place for yet another album to be recorded. Iommi was already throwing around ideas for riffs and everything. This, of course, did not happen, and, sadly, never will, as Ronnie James Dio was diagnosed with stomach cancer. And on May 16th, 2010, it did him in. The world had lost one of the true icons of Metal. Now, I don't believe in an afterlife. And from what I've heard, neither did he, but I do hope that somewhere, on some plain of existence, the voice of God is alive and well, and restored to its 80's perfection. Not that his voice lost much in his final years. Quite remarkably, his 67 year old vocal cords did him better than most 27 year olds. Ronnie James Dio will never be known as someone who wore out his welcome. He just kept on kicking ass until the very end.