I don't know about you, but...

I don't want to do anything, ever. 😎

The Evil Dead series is in production

This news is music to my ears. Even better knowing that Joseph LoDuca is coming back to do the music. I fucking LOVE the music in those movies. Also, Bruce is back in shape for it. Recent pics show he isn't fat anymore, and we all loved Bruce back when he was more adventurous. If you've ever seen My Name is Bruce, that's a perfect example of how lazy he's gotten. He does almost nothing physical in that movie.

Recent pics also show the oldsmobile is coming back. 😄

Does anyone care about Evil Dead as much as I do?

Trash Epics' Favorite Anthologies

I was watching Cat's Eye last night, and it was pretty fun. Even for a PG-13 film. Anthologies are always fun because you don't have to commit to a long story. You're usually watching it for a small dose of the mad and macabre, and usually some sort of twist ending.

Film or TV, what are your favorites?

Be so kind as to rate these titles to form a more accurate
Trash Epics Favorite Anthologies list.
https://junkepics.com/film/?tags=anthology&sort=value

David Hasselhoff is a True Survivor

I can't believe this movie still hasn't come out yet.



#MusicVideo #Total80sCheese

Drunken Werewolves Done Right!

WolfCop is a movie that sounds both awesome and retarded at the same time. Don't be fooled though, because it makes for one hell of an entertaining werewolf film, that's destined to become a cult classic.

The plot is pretty simple, yet the execution is very well done. A police officer who's always drinking on and off duty, is transformed into a werewolf by a Satanic ritual, but he's got a little more control over his affliction. This is probably due to the booze, which to him is like spinach is to Popeye.

The Wolf Man? Dark Shadows? Werewolves on Wheels? Now those movies did werewolves right! Humanoid werewolves and not just turning into an actual wolf. Am I the only one who hates that shit? Well, WolfCop is definitely a humanoid werewolf, and the transformation scenes are pretty kickass. This movie is filled with enough blood and gore for us horror fans, but it definitely has a strong sense of humor that doesn't go overboard ever. It's a wonderful mix of style and camp that somehow works perfectly for what it is. WolfCop!

A definite trash epic, right here... I'll close with one question... When do you actually get to see the werewolf sensually fucking Little Red Riding Hood? ... WolfCop!

Mulva Zombie Ass Kicker ! (2001)

Mulva. Yes, that's her name. That's the name of our protagonist in this otherwise decent film. Someone thought it was a good idea to give our protagonist a name that sounds dangerously similar to female genitalia. Well, it's just a name right, I mean, we can't judge a book by it's cover, right? Well, if we were to judge Mulva by her cover, she'd look like this.



That's pretty hot. That chick could totally get away with being called Mulva. When you look like that, who cares what your name it, right! Hell, she could get away with being called Fanny! Well my dear fellow rubbish lovers, you'd be sorely disappointed. Cos that cover is a lie. Behold Mulva, and her wonder and glory....



Urgh... why do I feel a strange urgh to slap this bitch...
I mean let's really look at this picture. She's wearing pedophile glasses with one of the lenses missing. She's got either chocolate or shit or both all around her mouth, and it stays there for the duration of the entire movie, her hair looks like it hasn't been brushed in months and she's got just a really annoying smile going on there. Yeah, this movie is going to be a trial.

The film opens in Mulva's bedroom, where she has a pretty kickarse horror collection, with Fangoria mags, iconic horror character toys, and a poster dedicated to Troma movies. Okay, perhaps I judged Mulva too soon, with such a cool collection, she's gotta be cool, right?

Well no, my initial reaction was right. Mulva only needed to say one word and I hated her again. It's hard to describe her voice, but it's got a lisp and is just so incredibly annoying. Mulva in general is so incredibly annoying. Even her dog has the look of hatred in his eyes. Poor bastard.

Well, Mulva is really, really excited. Apparently Halloween is tomorrow and she's finally going to get to go trick or treating. Which got me thinking, how old do you reckon this chick is? My original guess was 36, but then I changed it to 8. If she's finally going to go trick or treating for the first time, she's got to be some kind of child. It would explain all the chocolate on her face and her annoying personality. Yep, this bitch was somewhere between the ages of 8 and 36. Well I later found out from an almost naked cowboy guitar singing bloke, that she's 23. I literally face palmed. 23?! Bitch please!

Well, the shocking twist, is there are zombies on the loose, and they're going to ruin Mulva's big night and steal all her lollies, and Mulva can't have that cos she's obsessed with the shit due to some pathetic tramuatic event that happened to her years ago. So she's gotta band together with some other losers and kick some arse. I wouldn't go as far as to call her an ass kicker though, that's just more false advertising, but she does give it her best.

I gotta say, I actually enjoyed this movie immensely, however, I dispise the character of Mulva. Any scene that excluded Mulva from it was my favourite scene, and every scene that she was in was the worst. Now you lot might think I'm giving her a bum rep, but gosh, you guys haven't even heard it laugh yet. I mean holy mother of GOD! When she laughed..... I wanted to kill her with fire!!!

Obviously Mulva is meant to be redicilous, we are meant to make fun of her, but to me, she was too annoying, even for that. And sticky... she looked so sticky. I know this because of all the up close and personal shots we got with the zoom in shots. I literally cringed cos the idea of being close to this girl made me uncomfortable. Gosh all I could think of was how sticky she must be. The face... for the love of god woman, wash your goddamn face!

This was my second Chris Seaver film, so I knew production would be very low. Everything about it was so low budgit, which is naturally their charm. You know something is bad when you actually hear instructions from the director during the movie. I swear, at the 7.30 min mark, you hear the director cue Mulva to start her lines. Dude...
But you know, low production values aren't necessarily a bad thing. In fact I'd wagger most of us prefer it like that, cos it adds to the charm. I actually really digged Chris Seavers Terror at Blood Fart Lake (and Deathbone...and Sexsquatch... okay I love pretty much all his shit). They have low production values too. They also had other annoying characters but they didn't have Mulva in it. So they all win by default.

This movie is actually quite entertaining. One of the bully's that picks on Mulva has a voice dubbed over him was absolutely brilliant. He got quite a few laughs out of me, especially when he called Mulva a stupid bitch.
I also liked the random old guy that has an obsession with Bill Cosby. He had some epic liners, especially when he told some random kid to suck his black dick!
He's a star next to Mulva...shudder.

Oh, and the zombies. They have some entertaining and bloody death scenes, but they are few and far in between. Also, for a city that's overrun with zombies, Mulva and her friends only seem to be fight five of them in the end. Isn't there like 100 more of them? What the hell happened to the rest of them?! Running away from Mulva would be my guess.

There's a cool cameo from Lloyd Kaufman and some of his iconic characters at the end, and for some reason, this movie is set in Tromaview. Not sure what the relevance is, but I'll go with it. Familiar faces and references make me smile. And that's another reason why i am starting to form an appreciation for Chris Seaver, the guy loves movies and it shows. But this... I... why is Mulva the star???! Mulva has gone down in history as being the most annoying character in the history of characters. And I haven't even told you about her Ghost busters impersonation.

I love the enthusiasm and passion in Chris Seaver, and totally will check out more from him. But the character Mulva needs to go away and die now. But just for the sake of it, here's one last look at that obnoxious, annoying, shit covered cunt.



The stuff of nightmares. Enjoy. Thankyou.

On one final note, the sequel, Mulva 2 kick absolute arse! You know why? Cos Debbie Rochon now plays Mulva, and she's now a Kill Bill reference. Ha, Mulva can be funny after all, go figure. 😄

Renzo Goes to Hollywood



Hollywood

They said I'd wake up in my bed
With a headache and another set of wicked friends
And I say, this bed it isn't mine
Belonging to the industry instead, and I weigh it out

Take away all that I have
And what becomes of what I am
Am I a star or just a sham, oh I am

Stripped out, turned around
Defiled and downed by another town
They tickle you in all the places your pretty flesh surrounds
In Hollywood

Better get out while the gettin's good
Now I gotta get to Hollywood

So I wake with a new face
They cut me up and took my place
But I came back, I'll never die
Cuts and stitches, all my life
All my life I've been swaying to a different tune
But now I gotta get to Hollywood

#Song

What makes you HORNY?

This place doesn't have enough dirty talk.

I love tits. A lot. And short chicks. And skinny chicks. I know @Tromafreak likes fat chicks, and @Red_Hawk likes the tight, short girls.

Vaginas are good in theory, but ugly as fuck. Then again, so are dicks... I don't mind trannies if they look convincing enough.

You know what this site needs? Random bursts of jizz.

Cleanse My Soul - A Renzo Capetto Original

I felt like recording something, so here's a number I wrote last Summer.

---

Cleanse My Soul

Underneath this twisted disguise
Sickly sets of sentimental eyes
In here where we're lost in the crowd
Times have changed cuz no one is around
I know you see it as washed up and wilting away
But without it, without yesterday, where would be today

I only daydream the blues
Wishing I was good enough for you
You gravitate to filthy, dirty swine
Why, oh why then must we be denied
I don't give up because I only carry the downs
In the dirt, settled, darkness is my only home

I don't give in because I'm always caught in the outs
Honing in on the pain my own dirty heart has wrought
But I will cleanse my soul, oh
With rock and roll
I will cleanse my soul...

#Hollywood #Song

She would kill to be famous...

Starry Eyes is one of those overlooked horror films that kicks you in the nuts when you see it. Hard. The premise involves Sarah (Alex Essoe), a struggling actress who can't seem to catch a break. Her waitress job is demeaning, her crowd bugs the hell out of her, and her auditions for roles always wind up duds. What's a girl got to do to get a role these days?

To be vague, the film is a slow-burn descent into madness and the pressures of fame. Our lead actress Alex Essoe is fine as hell, and she should be enough reason for any straight male to watch, but this film doesn't forget that it's a horror film, and it turns into a bloodbath. Fucking brutal, to say the least.

#Review