An introduction to Trash Epic's speck of dust.
I'll try not to make this overly long, because quite frankly, I'm not that interesting. I don't have any kind of real social life, I don't follow sports, unless you count professional wrestling, or reality TV series, and I probably drink more than I should. Maybe those things do make me interesting then? Probably not.
Depending on what kind of mood you catch me in, I'll probably come off as friendly, an asshole, retarded, or insane. Hopefully it's usually the first one. No matter what mood I'm in though, one thing is always certain: my interest in movies. Horror, action, comedy, sci-fi, drama, thriller, fantasy, or mystery. Native or foreign. Live action or animated. Trash or epic. There's very few movies out there that I won't give at least one chance to.
I'm not sure what I'd be doing if I didn't enjoy movies so much. Leading a more normal life? Maybe. I rather like the life I lead though. Movies make me happy, as do things related to movies. Soundtracks, posters, novel tie-ins, video game tie-ins, even though they're usually not so great, t-shirts, documentaries, and TV show spin-offs. I'll take what I can get.
I like being able to do a review series here, that being Reviews with Ballz. I wouldn't call them anything special, but I find it fun to pick apart the good and the bad about movies, so what better way to do that with a review? And maybe spark a discussion or two as well. I realize I haven't done many of those reviews so far, which I blame on procrastination. That and spending at least a few hours most days working on a novel. More will come though, eventually.
I enjoy writing in general. I've done role playing, which I credit for really evolving my skills as a writer, as crazy as that might sound, fan fiction, and short stories. All of that has led me to the point of working on my novel. I can't help feeling a bit unsure of it as I work on it, mainly because I've never worked on any writing project so big on my own, but it's becoming easier as I get further along.
Outside of movies and writing, I also enjoy watching TV shows, of course, listening to music, and playing video games. My tastes in music don't go much past music from the early 2000s, though I like plenty of stuff from the 1970s and 1980s. I don't game nearly as much as I used to, but I still usually pick up a couple new games a year. I especially tend to enjoy first person shooters and simulations.
Well, that's about it for me. If you've made it this far, congratulations. If you want any media added to the database that you feel we've skipped over, tell me and I'll probably add it, though keep in mind that we still plan to add a lot and might already have plans to add whatever it is you want on there. And if you have any questions about me, feel free to ask.
#Intro
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The Epic Manifesto
In order for Trash Epics to succeed, this website needs principles, goals, hearts, and souls. I want people to realize that Trash Epics is going to expand beyond just some internet forum, and into reality, as it's own cult production company/studio, in which this very website would also act as the interface for. I can essentially build a business using this site, and I very well may.
When people keep you in the dark about things for too long, you start to lose hope that said thing is even going to be worth the wait. Maybe it's all just gossip... or rumors... or straight up bullshit? Well, I don't want to paint that image of myself. I need to let people in on this, which is why I write... the Epic Manifesto (version zero point half-teen). And remember rule #1: once I write the rule down, it doesn't change (rule #1 subject to change).
I never live in one place for very long. Every other year it seems, I've moved from one apartment complex to another. The hardest transition was moving halfway through high school. I became a shut-in loner who went from taking advanced classes and having college ambition, to barely passing in regular classes. However, I did take a dumb person's economics class, and then everyone thought I was smart, but that's beside the point. As a child, I was always excessively into a handful of movies that never leave my thoughts to this day.
I always loved the matte painting at the end of The Terminator, as the car drives off into the mountains. The line "there's a storm coming" has always felt so true to me, even as a child. Of course, nobody knows when or what this storm is gonna be like, but for me, it was a time when I had nothing but my mind to occupy me, and in a way, I'm grateful for what it's given me.
I could have went to college and learned things I don't find interesting, and became a person I never wanted to be, but instead, I was forced to look into myself and find out what makes me who I am, and embrace my creativity through writing screenplays, stories, lyrics, songs, tv shows, web code, and most notably, I began using internet forums, and I used them to discuss the handful of movies I loved, and in consequence, found so many more films, and tv shows, and music to love. My art is heavily influenced by the films I've watched, and I want to make art. Despite my avoidant personality disorder. I don't like crowds, I want to make trash, I want to make it epic, and I have no actors. Now, you can see my dilemma, but regardless, I present to you my intentions for Trash Epics:
Goals
1.) The Site - This is to connect directly to the users and provide a community, where trash addicts can network with people around the world, openly discuss their favorite filthy films on the forum, market zero to low budget projects, and finally, to host web games currently being developed by our producer, @DerTables. Certain aspects are still being debugged, but the overall product is coming along, and it is open to suggestions and recommendations.
As of now, media is being added to the trash library, and issues are being worked out. When enough films are added to the database, and all noted bugs are worked out, the site will go on active duty, which entails weekly featured films (with relevant posts, polls, events, and achievements), site updates, game updates, user contests/challenges, and custom sections for any user's unique content. I coded every line of this site, and I can add anything. Upcoming features will include daily horoscopes, dictionary and random text generators, annual media awards (like the Oscars, but good), and anything else I may think of between now and then.
2.) The Trash Epic - Over the years, I've written many mixed-genre storylines that I'm going to connect under the Trash Epics umbrella. These storylines feature dirtier, sleazier takes on my favorite old school monsters, across multiple media forms including:
A.) an ongoing dirty horror soap opera (imagine watching Dark Shadows, but with hookers, transvestites, drugs, and rednecks)
B.) a film for each storyline (in which the scripts always feature hookers, transvestites, drugs, and rednecks). The scripts I write are often set in isolated rural areas, following stupid, yet strangely endearing characters that always get involved in killing sprees. Never setting out to make just another "horror" movie, I want to set out to make a film, in general. The storylines blend genres, mixing up the comedy, drama, and horror to make an emotionally investing experience, but in the end, it's all about the characters to me. If they're good, then you can get away with simply following their misadventures the whole way through. I have an entire 10 storyline outline that encompasses both the soap and the films; one that's bound to entertain fans of retro horror and exploitation, though I need this site to raise interest so I can get things going on it.
C.) an online multiplayer hack and slash rpg about environmentalist hoboes, with expansion campaigns relevant to the soap and film storylines. Think pokemon meets D&D, with real-time combat in glorious pixelated NES aesthetics and audio. I believe that @DerTables and I can accomplish this. In fact, Der has a brief demo for his product, coming soon.
These items represent some of the primary intentions of this fair junkyard. However, it is imperative that users realize that I do read feedback, and I do want this to evolve into a group effort. Yes kids, you too can be in these films, or at least behind the scenes of them, as this concept can bring about a new way of making movies, where the viewers can be involved in the production, since I need all the help I can get. I built this place from the ground up in order to find that help, so sign up for the Trash Reserve, and be part of something deranged.
• This manifesto was written during beta mode, and is thereby in beta itself. The manifesto may be elaborated upon, edited, or burned at the stake at any time. If you have any suggestions for the guidelines of this community, feel free to state them here.
In order for Trash Epics to succeed, this website needs principles, goals, hearts, and souls. I want people to realize that Trash Epics is going to expand beyond just some internet forum, and into reality, as it's own cult production company/studio, in which this very website would also act as the interface for. I can essentially build a business using this site, and I very well may.
When people keep you in the dark about things for too long, you start to lose hope that said thing is even going to be worth the wait. Maybe it's all just gossip... or rumors... or straight up bullshit? Well, I don't want to paint that image of myself. I need to let people in on this, which is why I write... the Epic Manifesto (version zero point half-teen). And remember rule #1: once I write the rule down, it doesn't change (rule #1 subject to change).
I never live in one place for very long. Every other year it seems, I've moved from one apartment complex to another. The hardest transition was moving halfway through high school. I became a shut-in loner who went from taking advanced classes and having college ambition, to barely passing in regular classes. However, I did take a dumb person's economics class, and then everyone thought I was smart, but that's beside the point. As a child, I was always excessively into a handful of movies that never leave my thoughts to this day.
I always loved the matte painting at the end of The Terminator, as the car drives off into the mountains. The line "there's a storm coming" has always felt so true to me, even as a child. Of course, nobody knows when or what this storm is gonna be like, but for me, it was a time when I had nothing but my mind to occupy me, and in a way, I'm grateful for what it's given me.
I could have went to college and learned things I don't find interesting, and became a person I never wanted to be, but instead, I was forced to look into myself and find out what makes me who I am, and embrace my creativity through writing screenplays, stories, lyrics, songs, tv shows, web code, and most notably, I began using internet forums, and I used them to discuss the handful of movies I loved, and in consequence, found so many more films, and tv shows, and music to love. My art is heavily influenced by the films I've watched, and I want to make art. Despite my avoidant personality disorder. I don't like crowds, I want to make trash, I want to make it epic, and I have no actors. Now, you can see my dilemma, but regardless, I present to you my intentions for Trash Epics:
Goals
1.) The Site - This is to connect directly to the users and provide a community, where trash addicts can network with people around the world, openly discuss their favorite filthy films on the forum, market zero to low budget projects, and finally, to host web games currently being developed by our producer, @DerTables. Certain aspects are still being debugged, but the overall product is coming along, and it is open to suggestions and recommendations.
As of now, media is being added to the trash library, and issues are being worked out. When enough films are added to the database, and all noted bugs are worked out, the site will go on active duty, which entails weekly featured films (with relevant posts, polls, events, and achievements), site updates, game updates, user contests/challenges, and custom sections for any user's unique content. I coded every line of this site, and I can add anything. Upcoming features will include daily horoscopes, dictionary and random text generators, annual media awards (like the Oscars, but good), and anything else I may think of between now and then.
2.) The Trash Epic - Over the years, I've written many mixed-genre storylines that I'm going to connect under the Trash Epics umbrella. These storylines feature dirtier, sleazier takes on my favorite old school monsters, across multiple media forms including:
A.) an ongoing dirty horror soap opera (imagine watching Dark Shadows, but with hookers, transvestites, drugs, and rednecks)
B.) a film for each storyline (in which the scripts always feature hookers, transvestites, drugs, and rednecks). The scripts I write are often set in isolated rural areas, following stupid, yet strangely endearing characters that always get involved in killing sprees. Never setting out to make just another "horror" movie, I want to set out to make a film, in general. The storylines blend genres, mixing up the comedy, drama, and horror to make an emotionally investing experience, but in the end, it's all about the characters to me. If they're good, then you can get away with simply following their misadventures the whole way through. I have an entire 10 storyline outline that encompasses both the soap and the films; one that's bound to entertain fans of retro horror and exploitation, though I need this site to raise interest so I can get things going on it.
C.) an online multiplayer hack and slash rpg about environmentalist hoboes, with expansion campaigns relevant to the soap and film storylines. Think pokemon meets D&D, with real-time combat in glorious pixelated NES aesthetics and audio. I believe that @DerTables and I can accomplish this. In fact, Der has a brief demo for his product, coming soon.
These items represent some of the primary intentions of this fair junkyard. However, it is imperative that users realize that I do read feedback, and I do want this to evolve into a group effort. Yes kids, you too can be in these films, or at least behind the scenes of them, as this concept can bring about a new way of making movies, where the viewers can be involved in the production, since I need all the help I can get. I built this place from the ground up in order to find that help, so sign up for the Trash Reserve, and be part of something deranged.
• This manifesto was written during beta mode, and is thereby in beta itself. The manifesto may be elaborated upon, edited, or burned at the stake at any time. If you have any suggestions for the guidelines of this community, feel free to state them here.
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Criminally Insane (1975)
As horror fans, we're used to seeing and celebrating iconic evil images. Remember that feeling you felt when Regan's head did a 360 for the first time. Or the time Jaws finally popped his head out from the ocean? Well boys and girls, prepare yourselves for something truly terrifying, because I have seen the true face of evil! Never mind the likes of Freddy or Jason, beware of the one and only...Ethel!
Oh the horror! Don't look at it children, shield your eyes!
I bet you're thinking, "meh, she's just some fat looking chick" but you'll be wrong to underestimate her. She's not just some fat looking chick, she's one CRAZY fat looking chick, and she'll mess you up!...if you interfere with her eating habits....
That's right! Call her fat, call her ugly, insult her to her face and she'll probably not even bat an eye lid, but get between her and her food, and God himself could not save your tortured soul from the grasps of hell that bitch will send you! Ethel will not rest until her stomach is full, and god help us all...she's always hungry!
First of all, gosh I loved this movie! At 61 mins, it does not overstay it's welcome, matter of fact, I felt it was kinda cut a bit too short. But no matter, there is a sequel which I will be indulging in shortly, so my Criminally Insane binge shall be ultimately satisfied!
Welcome to low budget territory! Now for the past week, I've been watching some very low budget movies. Most of them only being successful if they were funny or gory. Criminally Insane is both! The dialogue is just magnificent. There were multiple times I burst out laughing, because I never expected such a ridiculous exchange. Take the conversation between Ethel and the boy who delivered her groceries straight to her house, for example. He brings her a whole box full of stuff, (remember, Ethel is fat, so she's buying in bulk). She's ordered a stack of food, so he asks for $80 which seems reasonable. Ethel responds with "I don't have $80. I only have $4.50".
Um.... how much did you expect that box full of sh!t was gonna cost?!
I could go on and on listing some of the brilliant dialogue, I haven't even gotten to Ethel's sister and boyfriend yet!
Speaking of the sister and her boyfriend, I really should mention these guys. Because good lord! Were they serious?! Rosalie is Ethel's skinnier sister, and is dating a guy that has no problem cheating on her, forcing her to be a hooker, and bitch slapping her. Doesn't sound like something that's meant to be funny, but seriously, check out this scene where Rosalie gets bitch slapped, it's hilarious!
Rosalie doesn't seem to have much problem with any of this. She puts up with it like it's nothing. I think she's got her own issues, but we don't really pay much mind to them. It's Ethel that's the real star of the show. Apart from her size, she's just hypnotic, it's hard not to become entranced in this movie just because of her.
So we've covered the grounds of it being funny, but did I mention it was gory? Cos it's drenched in blood. Red looking paint blood, but blood all the same. Sure, when she's hacking people up with a meat cleaver, it might resemble like she's slapping them with a rolled up newspaper, but it's the thought that counts and it equals to quite a bit of a body count. So much that it becomes a problem for Ethel on how to dispose of the bodies. You're gonna love the answer, I just know it. Stay tuned for the ending.
For a low budget flick that's about a homicidal women who kills when people try to stop her from eating, it's actually very well made and the actress playing Ethel (the late Priscilla Alden) really did a damn good job. As I mentioned earlier, it's hard not to find her performance hypnotic. Not sure how how old Ethel was meant to be in this movie, as she's being cared for by her grandma, but the actress was 36 when this movie was released, and Ethel looks a hell of a lot older then 36. I would have estimated somewhere in her 40s. She looked almost as old as her grandma!
I don't have much else to say about this movie, except to highly recommend it. For a bad movie, it's one of the best, and one I imagine many people enjoying.
8/10
Here's the trailer
As horror fans, we're used to seeing and celebrating iconic evil images. Remember that feeling you felt when Regan's head did a 360 for the first time. Or the time Jaws finally popped his head out from the ocean? Well boys and girls, prepare yourselves for something truly terrifying, because I have seen the true face of evil! Never mind the likes of Freddy or Jason, beware of the one and only...Ethel!
Oh the horror! Don't look at it children, shield your eyes!I bet you're thinking, "meh, she's just some fat looking chick" but you'll be wrong to underestimate her. She's not just some fat looking chick, she's one CRAZY fat looking chick, and she'll mess you up!...if you interfere with her eating habits....
That's right! Call her fat, call her ugly, insult her to her face and she'll probably not even bat an eye lid, but get between her and her food, and God himself could not save your tortured soul from the grasps of hell that bitch will send you! Ethel will not rest until her stomach is full, and god help us all...she's always hungry!
First of all, gosh I loved this movie! At 61 mins, it does not overstay it's welcome, matter of fact, I felt it was kinda cut a bit too short. But no matter, there is a sequel which I will be indulging in shortly, so my Criminally Insane binge shall be ultimately satisfied!
Welcome to low budget territory! Now for the past week, I've been watching some very low budget movies. Most of them only being successful if they were funny or gory. Criminally Insane is both! The dialogue is just magnificent. There were multiple times I burst out laughing, because I never expected such a ridiculous exchange. Take the conversation between Ethel and the boy who delivered her groceries straight to her house, for example. He brings her a whole box full of stuff, (remember, Ethel is fat, so she's buying in bulk). She's ordered a stack of food, so he asks for $80 which seems reasonable. Ethel responds with "I don't have $80. I only have $4.50".
Um.... how much did you expect that box full of sh!t was gonna cost?!
I could go on and on listing some of the brilliant dialogue, I haven't even gotten to Ethel's sister and boyfriend yet!
Speaking of the sister and her boyfriend, I really should mention these guys. Because good lord! Were they serious?! Rosalie is Ethel's skinnier sister, and is dating a guy that has no problem cheating on her, forcing her to be a hooker, and bitch slapping her. Doesn't sound like something that's meant to be funny, but seriously, check out this scene where Rosalie gets bitch slapped, it's hilarious!
Rosalie doesn't seem to have much problem with any of this. She puts up with it like it's nothing. I think she's got her own issues, but we don't really pay much mind to them. It's Ethel that's the real star of the show. Apart from her size, she's just hypnotic, it's hard not to become entranced in this movie just because of her.
So we've covered the grounds of it being funny, but did I mention it was gory? Cos it's drenched in blood. Red looking paint blood, but blood all the same. Sure, when she's hacking people up with a meat cleaver, it might resemble like she's slapping them with a rolled up newspaper, but it's the thought that counts and it equals to quite a bit of a body count. So much that it becomes a problem for Ethel on how to dispose of the bodies. You're gonna love the answer, I just know it. Stay tuned for the ending.For a low budget flick that's about a homicidal women who kills when people try to stop her from eating, it's actually very well made and the actress playing Ethel (the late Priscilla Alden) really did a damn good job. As I mentioned earlier, it's hard not to find her performance hypnotic. Not sure how how old Ethel was meant to be in this movie, as she's being cared for by her grandma, but the actress was 36 when this movie was released, and Ethel looks a hell of a lot older then 36. I would have estimated somewhere in her 40s. She looked almost as old as her grandma!
I don't have much else to say about this movie, except to highly recommend it. For a bad movie, it's one of the best, and one I imagine many people enjoying.
8/10
Here's the trailer
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New Feature: Media Ratings
Oh, hi audience. Today, we can finally rate movies here on Trash Epics. It's a simple 1-5 system, but you have multiple categories to rate for each title:
Acting (performances)
Audio (score, sound mix)
Story (screenplay, story, writing)
Video (sets, sfx, visuals)
Tilt (personal preference)
Each on a scale of 1 for awful, 2 for bad, 3 for neutral, 4 for good, and 5 for awesome. Fair enough, yes? And your user ratings will determine the winners of the upcoming Trash Awards.
Oh, hi audience. Today, we can finally rate movies here on Trash Epics. It's a simple 1-5 system, but you have multiple categories to rate for each title:
Acting (performances)
Audio (score, sound mix)
Story (screenplay, story, writing)
Video (sets, sfx, visuals)
Tilt (personal preference)
Each on a scale of 1 for awful, 2 for bad, 3 for neutral, 4 for good, and 5 for awesome. Fair enough, yes? And your user ratings will determine the winners of the upcoming Trash Awards.
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black mirror
so i just got into this short tv series, black mirror, its pretty fucking sweet if anyone wants to check it out, all episode seems to be independant of the rest, the first one, for instance, takes place sometime in the near future, and the princess of the UK gets kidnapped and the kidnapped posts on YouTube he will kill her unless the prime minister fucks a pig on live tv and the pm has to do it lol
#Blackmirror
so i just got into this short tv series, black mirror, its pretty fucking sweet if anyone wants to check it out, all episode seems to be independant of the rest, the first one, for instance, takes place sometime in the near future, and the princess of the UK gets kidnapped and the kidnapped posts on YouTube he will kill her unless the prime minister fucks a pig on live tv and the pm has to do it lol
#Blackmirror
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I love Mink Stole
So many awesome lines!
IS THAT WHAT YOU LEARNED IN PRIVATE SCHOOL!!!!
So many awesome lines!
IS THAT WHAT YOU LEARNED IN PRIVATE SCHOOL!!!!
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Garbage Day
Most of you are probably wondering what the aim of this website is. On one half, we have the word 'Trash'. No, not actual garbage and waste byproducts, but old school horror movies, gritty exploitation films, and especially bad movies, like Troll 2, or Things. Then on the other half, we have the word 'Epics'. Now, when one thinks of an epic, trash typically isn't factored into there, anywhere at all, and that's because epics are often percieved as being "better than trash", but look at Troma. They don't just make movies. They make the hell out of them, and that's why they're a true inspiration to any low budget film-maker.
As webmaster of this site, I aim to be fair, functional, and frivolous with the site design, taking it in whatever direction it happens to go. The site is to be the canvas for my art, and any art that our members would want to create. My art? Well... I have movies to film, books to write, songs to sing, games to code, and soap operas to sort out. And they're all gonna be dirty, dumb, and filled with filth, because I believe in filth. I believe in John Waters. I believe in Harmony Korine. I believe in trash epics.
Most of you are probably wondering what the aim of this website is. On one half, we have the word 'Trash'. No, not actual garbage and waste byproducts, but old school horror movies, gritty exploitation films, and especially bad movies, like Troll 2, or Things. Then on the other half, we have the word 'Epics'. Now, when one thinks of an epic, trash typically isn't factored into there, anywhere at all, and that's because epics are often percieved as being "better than trash", but look at Troma. They don't just make movies. They make the hell out of them, and that's why they're a true inspiration to any low budget film-maker.
As webmaster of this site, I aim to be fair, functional, and frivolous with the site design, taking it in whatever direction it happens to go. The site is to be the canvas for my art, and any art that our members would want to create. My art? Well... I have movies to film, books to write, songs to sing, games to code, and soap operas to sort out. And they're all gonna be dirty, dumb, and filled with filth, because I believe in filth. I believe in John Waters. I believe in Harmony Korine. I believe in trash epics.
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Om nom nom
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