Unpopular opinions 

Name an unpopular opinion you have. Or two. Or more.

Star Wars and superheroes are for children. Seriously, if you're over the age of 12, and you care about that shit, I think you're a loser. No offense. 😬

Straight porn is for bisexuals. How can straight men watch that shit? Cocks are so fucking gross, and they turn me right off.

Here's some for the horror fans:
Lucio Fulci was a talentless hack.

Halloween is one of John Carpenter's worst movies.
28 Days Later is one of the worst movies of all time.
Exorcist III is better than the first.

Cocaine Bear 2023

The movie begins with the same song used over and over again in another Elizabeth Banks series. "Jane" by Jefferson Starship. I had to laugh at that. She can't get away from that song. Or she simply doesn't want to.

Overall a fun movie. A step up from the other turkeys I saw recently. I love the popeye/powerup effect the coke has on the bear. That was also a thing in The Wolf of Wall Street and it made me lmao.

Ray Liotta's final role, huh? It's a pretty generic villain role, but he does his best with it. It's weird to think that he seemed physically capable enough in this movie, but fate wanted him anyway soon after.

See it. Or don't. Like with Grizzly, I liked what I saw, but I'll probably forget it in a week.

#Review

New Feature: Casino

The casino is where you gamble your TE moneys in turn-based games. Card games and board games.

Located in the "Junk" dropdown menu.
https://junkepics.com/game/multi/


How does it work?

Some bozo user will create a lobby for some specific game to be played. Users may then join the game, or spectate.

In the lobby where you are viewing the game, you will be allowed to make certain actions depending on the state of the game. The general flow is this:


The seating process, where you sit in on a game in a set your wager. You can bet nothing, but that would make you a pussy.

Then, the lobby's host will initiate the game, and all of your wagers will be deducted and appropriated upon the game's end. The game will then commence through a series of events, iterating through player turns, all depending on the game.

When the game is over, the result will be displayed and the lobby's host may reset the lobby to be used for another game.


How is this different than the Arcade?

The arcade is single-player browser games that run on the client's end. Therefore, they can be hacked, as @ballz gloriously demonstrated. Since it deals with (fake) currency, this multiplayer casino runs on the backend to manipulate the game's current state of functionality, so invalid actions cannot be performed. No hacking.


WHaT GaMeS?!

Starter games include blackjack, checkers, and connect 4, with more on the way. I have an outdated version of chess somewhere that I plan on converting too. Beyond that, I'd like to add monopoly, poker, and scrabble.

Feedback and nitpicks welcome. I'm sure I screwed up somewhere...

Steve: Portrait Of An Irritable Fuckhead



I think it's safe to say that the slasher is one of, if not the most beloved of all horror sub genres. More specifically, the 80's slasher. What is basically movies about serial killers slowly picking off a group of people. Usually teenagers and usually for a random, often very personal reason. These movies usually focus on the group above the killer, and mainly the one member of the group that is to survive. One of the most entertaining types of horror movies, but never to be taken the least bit seriously. A sub genre which horror itself became synonymous with during its 80's heyday. As the decade went on, the more unrealistic, and in many cases, less respectable they became. Perhaps these types of horror movies overshadowed certain others more deserving of our attention. One type in particular I have always found far more interesting. It's just too bad there aren't nearly as many of them. I'm talking about Serial killer movies of the 80's. Stories which are vaguely similar to that of slashers, but are more realistic and focus more on the killer. I'm sure we've all seen at least one. Movies like Maniac and Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer. One in particular, I'd like to talk about today. One that seems to have gone somewhat unnoticed. Nothing too original or groundbreaking, but still pretty entertaining. Certainly better than many slashers I've seen. Today, I'd like to talk about Murderlust.

Steve Belmont is not what one would call a nice guy. Steve doesn't seem to like or give a shit about anyone but himself. This doesn't take very long to figure out. He seemingly lives a pretty normal life, working as a security guard as well as a Sunday school teacher on the side. The sunday school gig is weird as Steve's personality away from the church often contradicts certain things he says while on the job. Why does he work there? He doesn't seem to be the least bit religious, and sure as hell doesn't seem to like kids very much. It's a job Steve more or less goes through the motions for, while always knowing the right things to say when questioned. Deep down, Steve is a lazy, immature scumbag with a sense of entitlement. While on Sundays, he's not. On Sundays, Steve is a great guy. Or at least he says the things a great guy would say. Seemingly not caring enough to put much feeling into his nice guy lines he so easily regurgitates once a week, there is obviously something up with this guy. Why the act? Does Steve need the money that bad? Or maybe it's all a cover. The perfect cover for his chosen hobby. Steve kinda sorta rapes and murders hookers, and buries their bodies in the Mojave desert.

Despite being an obvious sociopath who is pretty good at keeping his lies organized, Steve is a trainwreck of a human. An all around lousy attitude prevents him from having the life he probably thinks he deserves. Steve lives in a shitty apartment where he is visited often by his snide cousin who he seems to despise, but keeps around just in case he needs something. Neil is sure to let Steve know the feeling is mutual as he makes it quite clear he has no respect for Steve whatsoever. Their back and forth bickering is probably the highlight of the movie. Meanwhile, during Sunday school, Steve deals with an unruly teenage girl who seems to have an equally shitty attitude towards life. Steve chastizes and disciplines the girl, pretending to care about her well-being, while being unable to resist making subtle attempts at antagonizing her. Steve seems to think of this girl as some sort of opponent rather than the thorn in his side which he would have everyone assume.

As he reads "the Mojave murderer" headlines in the paper, Steve feels a sense of accomplishment nothing else in the world can give him. Steve may be an underachiever, and what many may call a piece of shit, but no one can take away from him the fact that he is very good at manipulating women. A gift that comes from pure hatred and resentment of the opposite sex. Whether he wants it or not, Steve gets a chance at a little normalcy as he runs into a girl from way back in high school. She claims to have had a crush on him, but he doesn't even remember her. They get to talking, one thing leads to another, and Steve finds himself in the early stages of a normal relationship with a woman. Steve has to be extra careful not to blow his cover if he wants to keep this one around. Throwing a tantrum when she tries to fuck him probably isn't the best move, but I'm guessing ol' Steve has a hard time getting it up when rape isn't involved. All I know is this guy better watch his step because this one might surprise him if provoked.

I can't help but notice a vague similarity between this movie and American Psycho. While Steve the immature loser is the antithesis of materialistic snob Patrick Bateman in just about every way, this movie seems to focus more so on the quirks than the psychosis. We've got a ringside seat for all his killings, but in this story, Steve's bloodlust often takes a backseat to his shitty attitude and all around irritable nature. It often feels as though I'm watching a movie about some asshole as opposed to one about a deranged serial killer. That might have a little to do with what little violence and blood this movie has to offer. I'm not sure what's going on there, but personally, this doesn't ruin the movie for me. Things are entertaining enough watching this mustached prick arrogantly pull fast one after fast one until the very end. What I like most about this movie is that the story is solely from the killer's point of view. No cops, no investigation. Just this fucking guy. Steve is a slick one, but not nearly as slick as he thinks. An Otis who thinks he's a Henry. A story about an insecure little man who believes everyone else is stupid. A story about a serial killer slowly digging his own grave. 5/10



#Review

Amerika (1987 miniseries)

I just heard about this. It sounds pretty interesting. Some sort of a Red Dawn type of deal.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amerika_(miniseries)

Here, this is the first episode, and you can click to the other episodes on the right.

Flirty Harry

Quantumania

Disney has officially turned Ant-Man 3 into a Star Wars movie. When I first heard that, I thought Guardians of the Galaxy would obviously be the more suitable candidate for Star Wars rip-off, but nope. This movie is way more Star Wars rip-off than Guardians, for sure. It's full of wacky aliens, dumb robots, weird sci-fi visuals, rebels versus the empire, blasters, and more. The main difference is that instead of dealing with outer space, it deals with inner space.

It also ripped off Rick & Morty pretty hard, particularly s2e1 with the Schrodinger's cat state of uncertainty bit. Obviously, I'd draw a comparison to the Vindicators 3 episode about the character 1-Million-Ants, but that's obviously a rip-off of Ant-Man himself. Then there's the obsession with one's holes and how many holes one has, which brings me right back to the Eyeholes Man...

So the movie itself doesn't waste any time getting into the quantum realm, where we're overloaded with a CGI visual feast that's enough to make any naturalistic film fan gag. I bet 95% of this movie was CGI. The story is okay, using some convenient retonning to weasel the new big-bad into the story, but the dimensional logic doesn't hold up, particularly in the rate of time-passage we established in previous films, but whatever. Marvel is already terrible with their continuity, constantly revising their timeline on account of them winging it with every project, despite allegations of a master plan.

I like Paul Rudd as much as the next guy, but his character is pretty thin here. His whole team is generic, and the only character worth a damn is the villain. No, I'm not talking about MODOK. They changed that character's backstory and made him even dumber. He looked stupid, he acted stupid, and he was completely... fucking... stupid. I'd take that shitty Patton Oswalt Hulu garbage over this bogus MODOK, and I hated that show!

Jonathan Majors as Kang is the only saving grace here. His variant in the Loki show was quite interesting, and he gets to play a more comics-accurate version of the character here. He gives off vibes of Vader, which is funny because Kang is allegedly a descendent of Dr. Doom, and Doom was the direct inspiration for Vader. That's pretty much full circle there.

I will also point out that there is no time-travel in this movie, which is one of Kang's trademarks. Instead, it focuses more on the multiversal aspect, but without actually venturing there. The plot will make sense of it, when it isn't being boring with its super formulaic plot. At least it's better than Ant-Man 2. That movie was complete garbage.

#Review

The Last of Us... 

I'm not a gamer and haven't been for 20 years but I've read and heard from friends that are and it's one of their favorite games of all time even if the sequel shat the bed. So I went into this new HBO series with an open mind even as I said to myself do we really need another zombie apocalypse just after the anti-climatic ending to The Walking Dead? Eh...it wasn't bad, actually surprised me some. I rather liked Pedro Pascal early in his career, thought he was great in GOT as Prince Oberen and even liked him in crap like Bloodsucking Bastards for what it was at the time. Not so much lately in films like Wonder Woman 1984 and Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent but he pulls off a decent part here in The Last of Us imo. The only drawback in this premiere ep of this new series was the casting of the 2nd lead in the character Elle, she doesn't seem to have much acting chops and she kinda reminds me of Eric Stoltz in the film Mask...anyways, thoughts anyone?

Return Of The Living Dead LITE



Just once, I'd love to see an awesome, legendary horror film come along and impress us all while making plenty of money for everyone without studio greed and desperation rearing its ugly head. Why can't they ever just say "Great job, guys! Let us know if you have anymore ideas". Nope! Success means that success must be Xeroxed at all costs. And as many times as possible. If it made money, there must be an attempt at repeating the formula to milk a few more bucks out of the biggest fans. One or more sequels CAN be fine, but some movies just need to be left the hell alone! If that's just not an option, then maybe don't make a watered-down rehash. This is often something that can cheapen the greatness of the original in the eyes of many. A hard thing to do in this case, as this particular original is pretty much perfect, in my opinion. 1985's Return Of The Living Dead is pure 80's greatness. One of, if not the greatest 80's horror film of all time. 1988's Return Of The Living Dead Part II, on the other hand. Well, let's just say this movie is what late 80's horror is all about: Beating a dead horse!

Not to say the original movie was a dead horse, or something nobody cared about, but it already happened. It came and went. People had seen it. This extremely watered-down sequel was just a prime example of the dwindling creativity from a nearly dead heyday for the genre. Those last couple of years didn't offer us a hell of a lot in terms of quality or originality. However, one might think a movie like Return Of The Living Dead Part II could have an advantage, getting to ride the coattails of its predecessor. Financially? Yeah, I guess. As a fan, knowing an already weak movie is not only connected to such a masterpiece, but completely dependant on it, makes it come off all the weaker. Nowhere near the worst thing from the latter part of the 80's. Not even close. But keeping the original in mind? Yeah, get the fuck outta here with that!

I think the most noticable difference between this movie and the original is that this one is completely devoid of that nightmarish tone which has been replaced by a tone of silliness and parody. The original was hilarious, but there was a noticeable balance. No more "spooky" delinquent teenagers. Instead, we got these little kids. Two dicks and some little pussy, who, for some reason, is the main character. After the pussy kid runs away from the dicks, they all stumble across a barrel under a bridge, which has been misplaced by the Army. The head dick locks the pussy in a mausoleum, and the two dicks go back and open the barrel, infecting themselves and unleashing the inevitable Trioxin into the air, infecting the nearby graveyard.

The pussy can't get out of the mausoleum until a couple of grave robbers break in and catch him, allowing him to eventually run out. The two grave robbers are portrayed by James Karen and Thom Matthews, who are, more or less, playing the same characters from the first movie. Don't get me wrong. Those guys are great. They made the original even better than it would have been, but wedging them into this one feels like the director is saying "Yeah, I know this movie is lame, but at least these guys came back". Yes, they definitely made this movie better as well, but their presence only makes me take this movie even less seriously. And don't even get me started on the Tarman cameo...

The pussy figures out what is going on and aims to get in touch with the Army before things get out of hand, but is endlessly hindered by his idiot sister. As we witness the resurrection of a bunch of goofy-looking zombies to a really annoying soundtrack, the grave robbers are, of course, also infected. After the pussy informs the Army of all the chaos, he, his sister and some guy run into the now hysterical grave robbers, who are pretty much fucked by now. However, they still think medical attention will make a difference. In reality, it is too late for them. But we already know that because we've seen the first movie. Pussy and pals hook the grave robbers up with a doctor, but it's no use. As they wander off and become undead, the pussy, his sister, some guy and the doctor rush to find a way to help stop the madness. Ultimately, this leads to the pussy standing up to an undead version of the head dick from earlier, giving us the closure we never knew we needed.

I will say one nice thing about this movie. It has what might be my all-time favorite cover/poster. I remember being a little kid, looking through the horror section at my local video store when this first came out. Creepy covers such as Rosemary's Baby and Fright Night stand out in my memory. None stimulated my imagination more than Return Of The Living Dead Part II. I remember renting "Night" and "Return", and then thinking "Wow! THAT one must be the scariest movie ever made". I'm not sure why I never rented this sequel, but some years later, I remember catching the last half of it on FOX one Saturday afternoon, and thinking to myself, "Hmmmmm... ok, then".

The only thing I hate more than a cash grab is an obvious cash grab. That and lame dad humor. This sequel has not only managed to replace the genuinely scary tone of the original with comedy, but really bad comedy. Like when the zombie and the guy were struggling on the floor, only for both of them to stop in their tracks and become mesmerized by the aerobics chick on tv, leading to all the zombies doing the same. You would think it was full blown porn, going by their reaction. The Harry Truman gag was almost clever. Never mind the zombie who fell for it only looked to be dead a few months. I get that it's not a realistic movie to begin with, but come on! That thing would be nothing but bones if the last President he remembered was Truman. The jokiness of it all, along with the obvious attempt at a PG-13 rating should have discouraged anyone who might have expected a half decent sequel. And being so dependant on the ideas of the original while completely discarding it, makes this all the more unlikable to me. It's no wonder why, years later, they made it a point to get away from anything resembling either of these movies with part 3. Now, that's how it's done! I can't praise that one enough. And as for 4 and 5... Well, that's another story. And I'll go ahead and let someone else tell that one. I just don't have the heart for it. And to think things actually get worse than THIS shit. Sometimes, it really is for the best to quit while you're ahead. 3/10



#Review

Winnie the Pooh

The fact that this movie exists is wonderful. It's a big middle finger to Disney, and they deserve it. When you get around to watching the actual movie, you'll find it's a very mixed bag. The concept is a big lolwtf pitch, and the plot is amazing: a bunch of girls go to a secluded house in the woods and some bad stuff happens. We don't need to reinvent the wheel here, so we wont. We know we're watching a slasher movie, and this movie doesn't try to put on any airs. It really is as dumb as it sounds.

Pros: Gratuitous hotties and violence. Adequate slasher characters. Cool animated opening recap. Ominous woodland setting. Short runtime. The selfy character was hot and had some good boobs.

Cons: Very minimal nudity. Bad lighting. You can't tell what's going on half the time. Gore is hard to see. Poor cinematography and shaky cam. Drawn out scenes.

This movie is better in theory than execution. The nature of this project is something I felt must contribute to, though. To support my local theater and to support stupid bullshit movie ideas.

#Review