Curse of Chucky 2013

Can you believe it's been 10 years since this movie came out? This series is as old as I am, so I must overthink these things. Fiona Dourif (born 1981) plays Nica (born 1988), and is thus supposed to be 25 in the movie. So I was 25 when this came out. God, I miss my 20s. I didn't do much with them, but I sure did love being more resiliant in those years. And it had only been 8 years without a Chucky movie and I'd already thought this franchise was dead...

I'm glad this movie went back to its horror roots after becoming a total joke with Seed (which is still an entertaining movie). It feels like this movie snuck up on us. Since 2006, we were all expecting a remake perhaps, but we got something much better. They put it as DTV, and it does feel that way, but it's still well crafted. A bit more CGI than I'd prefer, but enough practical effects to be worthwhile.

Nica is a good character. I remember thinking she was pretty hot when I first saw this movie. Boy, they really put her through the wringer, didn't they? Her whole life, she can't catch a break. Unless that break is in her legs. As of this current post, I have yet to see season 2 of the show, but I'm really curious to see wtf happens to her, considering season 1's ending. Yikes!

I also really liked the fleshed out backstories. It expands on the original's opening to come full circle, and you even get ol' Brad to act in it. He is 25 years older playing 25 years younger. Unfortunately now, he's no longer capable of physically playing the character. I guess his age would show too much, kinda like how in The Irishman how De Niro and Pacino are playing characters half their age, and while they try to have that energy, they still move like old people. Great movie though, but I can see how it would be a little distracting if Brad kept playing him into today, but it was nice in this circumstance. If this movie were made today, they would be able to deepfake young Dourif's face onto old Dourif's body.

Curse is a good flick. One of the higher points of the franchise, even classy at times. I actually don't think any of the entries in this franchise are terrible, though I think part 3 is kinda weak, and Seed is kind of the black sheep of the series. Even that unwarranted slap-in-the-creator's-face remake from 2019 was entertaining enough. So, maybe this would be in the top 3 of the series?

#Review

Seagull: Definitely A Movie



Aside from a few exceptions, I firmly believe movies ought to make sense. It should be the second rule of filmmaking right behind entertainment value, or in some cases, interesting subject matter, depending on the genre. I was watching this one movie the other day, and while it seemed to go OK for a while, it occured to me about half way through that I hadn't a single fucking clue as to what was happening or who anyone was. Not exactly the first time I've lost track of a storyline but I'm positive it wasn't just me this time. I'll admit I was a little high, but I don't get THAT high!

There's this young woman stuck on an island, barely surviving. She has this shack built for herself to live in. One day, she accidentally burns the thing down, then immediately decides to walk off and go home, ultimately revealing that this is merely a beach. A beach this person has been living on for eight years for... uh, reasons. We are then introduced to this depressed British family who doesn't seem particularly happy with each other or themselves. There's this older man, his overly-dependant, alcoholic wife in a wheelchair, some other young woman, and a little girl, who seems like she might be the center of the story... Whatever that means. Nobody seems to think very highly of the older man, except maybe the little girl. They seem to have some kind of special bond. I'm not sure what he is to her or who he is to anyone accept the wife, probably making him the step dad to the older girl. But, man, she sure hates his ass. However the reason for this is never revealed. I'm pretty sure the little girl isn't her daughter. We're later left to assume she might be the daughter of the one from the beach.

The one from beach land has now made her way back into town, and with the help of some guy, she kidnaps (reclaims?) the little girl from the older man when she spots them out in public one day. He doesn't take this well and aims to do something about it. The woman from the beach seems more or less feral, incapable of speaking, so, she can't confirm that she's the mother or what she wants to do now that she has the little girl in her possession, which makes for some very pointless scenes. She kind of reminds me of the woman from that movie, The Woman (2011). Just not as dirty or as savage-like. Still not particularly reasonable. No idea how living on a beach for eight years makes someone act like this. Especially forgetting how to talk and shit. This mystery beach person seems to really despise the older man, who might be her step-father, but this is never confirmed or even brought up. It's possible the woman in the wheelchair and the other young woman back at home are her mother and sister, but it is never acknowledged one way or the other. If that's true, then they don't give a shit and barely noticed that they were missing a family member for nearly a decade. We're left to make assumptions as to how everyone in this movie is connected/related, making it impossible to know what the fuck all of this is about and what everyone's deal is. But there is certainly a problem, aside from the little girl being kidnapped, I mean. There is an obvious lack of communication. Not only between the characters, but between the writer and the viewer.

Near the end, an attempt is made to explain how and why this pissed off mute was banished to the beach for eight years in a quick flashback where the older man is seen putting her in a bearhug and dropping her off a cliff onto the beach. I feel like there was some kind of secret he was afraid of getting out and/or back to the wife, and ridding this person of his life must have been the only way to deal with this problem. Did he fuck her or something? Is that little girl his? Is he actually related to anyone? I take it he's the bad guy, because throwing someone off a cliff is rarely justified this day in time. Why the hell did this woman just stay on the beach for all those years and let that guy get away with whatever it was he did? If, for some reason, she felt unwanted by everyone else, why not just go home and be all like "fuck you guys" and then get her own place?

There was another flashback earlier on which takes place before the bearhug of doom where overly-dependant wheelchair wife is being physically abusive to beach girl and gets herself knocked down the stairs, most likely explaining her legs not working anymore and more or less confirming their relation. I wouldn't necessarily call Seagull a bad movie. At least it doesn't seem to be if you don't pay too close attention. Had certain necessary details not been forgotten, this might have been pretty good. But they were, so, we're left scratching our heads. At least I was. And just to be extra sure it wasn't just me, I got a second opinion before writing this. So, yeah, like I said. I don't get quite THAT high, but apparently, somebody out there does. 3/10



#Review

Chucky: Complete 7-Movie Collection

Got this 7 blu-ray set the other day...


https://www.amazon.com/dp/B073H5D441?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details

Been watching the Child's Play/Chucky series all week. Watched Seed earlier only because that's the only way I could watch the ENTIRE series. But talk about jumping the fucking shark! Every bit as cringy as I remember. I think the problem began when someone decided a movie about Chucky's kid had to happen and was the logical next step. I suppose there was really no way to do this without going full on Gremlins 2 not giving a fuck.

I wasn't totally against the more horror comedy direction taken in Bride as the series needed something to breath new life into it after a pretty weak 3rd installment, but shit like Chucky jerkin' it to Fangoria and later on causing Britney Spears to have a wreck and saying "oops, I did it again" was pretty brutal, especially if one prefers the straight horror of the first 3. And the whole idea of a movie being made after the events of Bride, with Jennifer Tilly doing the voice of Tiffany, not to mention the dolls used in this movie so easily being brought to life, is a bit hard to swalllow and just makes a joke out of everything that came before it.

Never mind Chucky and Tiffany not being sore at each other after how things ended. Literally no acknowledgement of the little bit of seriousness from Bride. It's one thing to piss all over the continuity and tone of the first 3, but now we're disregarding plot points from Bride and taking it all several steps further and removing the little bit of traditional horror elements left in that one. Having it set in Hollywood, having celebrities play themselves, not only having Chucky share the spotlight, but actually takng a backseat to Glenn/Glenda. I'm surprised the series didn't die with this one. However, watching them wedge Seed's batshit continuity into the tv show was pretty funny.

Thoughts on this series? Big fan of it, myself. Seed pisses me off though.

the next time they do a Carrie remake

I was just thinking, the next time they do a Carrie remake (you know it's just a matter of time) it would be pretty funny if they did the entire movie as straight horror, with absolutely no comedy at all, but then, when Carrie is at the height of her hypertelekinetic killing rampage, they had one male character turn to another (just any two male high school kids at the prom) and say "Bitches, man," with a totally straight face, and the character he says it to would nod solemnly. That would really crack me up, if they did it right.

F9 - The Fast Saga!

F9, the ninth entry in this fucking ridiculous series. Do people really love it as much as they think they do? I think Vin is mediocre at best, and none of the rest of the main cast are particularly A-listers that can sell a movie outside of these nostalgia-ridden teamup efforts. If you don't have a good cast, surely, you must have a good story, right?

Nope. Old plot details are forced into this movie as our characters literally question why they're still alive and unscathed after all these insane car stunts gone impossibly perfect. There are no stakes here, and there never will be.

This movie starts off hilariously stupid. What's-her-face got flung and is falling a large distance, so what does Vin do? He catches her... with his car! She's perfectly fine landing on that fucking tank of a vehicle that could withstand getting bashed into a mountainside repeatedly without sustaining a single dent. I very promptly began to ask myself, "What the hell am I watching?"

As funny as things could be, they were also really boring at other times. These movies are so formulaic, it makes me want to blow chunks. Eventually, I got really bored and stopped watching entirely. I've already forgotten half of the half I just watched, because none of these movies are unique.

#Review

World war iii alternate history

you guys, this looks pretty interesting. I don't think I am going to be able to finish it tonight because I just found it a few minutes ago at 2:30 AM where I live. But, I will try to come back to it this weekend.

It is an alternate history, of a WW3 that, of course, did not actually happen. It is set in 1989 and early 1990, but the events of the film diverge from real history pretty early in the film. Anyway, what I have watched so far is interesting and well done. It seems to be some kind of collaboration between German television and some US media company... I can't quite figure it out, but I'm pretty sure that's because I'm really tired, not because it sucks. Anyway, here, check it out if you want.

Here is the movie:




Here is a description of it:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_III_(1998_film)

Pam & Tommy

I'm not a fan of Motley Crue, but I am a fan of titties, so I binged it. Pretty interesting series of events. Rand (Seth Rogen) is a carpenter who Tommy Lee (Sebastian Stan) gives the runaround and refuses to pay him for his work, which really screws him over financially. In "compentory" retaliation, Rand steals the sex tape...

You want him to get revenge because Tommy is such an entitled dick. Rock star in the worst way, which is to say Stan played him well. The performances are great. Lily James has a fantastic likeness to Pam, and the whole series is about how she was screwed over the most, and how Rand has a crisis and tries to right the wrong, but it ends up being too late.


As much of an asshole as Tommy is, they portrayed the relationship as mostly genuine, even though they rushed into it pretty damn quick. Married after knowing each other for a couple days... Still, Pam Anderson claims to have not watched the series due to still being butthurt, but she would probably like Lily's performance, because it paints her in the positive/victimized light.


It's a fun trip to the 90s, particularly in the 90s computer scene. That shit was so slow to load and unassuming that it was a perfect market for bootleg sex tapes. Of course, I get pretty fascinated by the outdated "state-of-the-art" technologies of yesterday, and as a period-piece biopic, it works.

#Review

Cool episode of The Bionic Woman

This was a pretty interesting episode, from 1976. They could have gotten a whole movie out of it. In fact, it may have influenced some horror movies that came after it aired... see what you think.



I shouldn't say too much about it, but I'll just say that it draws partly upon the tradition of ideas from Forbidden Planet, and from Carrie, and it MIGHT have laid some of the groundwork for The Legacy, NOES, Poltergeist, and Halloween 2.

I'll just say that it has the Bionic Woman being sent to be a governess for a father and daughter, who have been experiencing possible paranormal phenomena. The father is supposed to be some kind of scientist working on important stuff for the US government, but that isn't really too important to the plot... It is worth watching just for Lindsay Wagner, OF COURSE, but it also has the guy who played Alejandro Sosa in Scarface, and Kristy McNichol. But getting back to Lindsay Wagner, she was probably 26 years old when they filmed this, and, Good Lord.

Anyway, it is interesting and spooky, and very 70s, and you might enjoy checking iit out. Hmmmm, wait a sec, I am experiencing massive deja vu, have I mentioned this episode here before?!? If so... well, I won't say I'm sorry, it's a great episode either way.

Happy Friday the 13th

I made a habit of watching F13 movies on actual Friday the 13ths, but I've slowed down on that. I think I was getting a little burned out on Jason after all these years. Don't get me wrong, I do love the series, and I'll eat up whatever follow-up they shit out, because it's a fascinating series. I've been thinking about Paramount and I think it's funny. Funny and almost out of place. A gamble on the studio that earned them half a billion dollars in the box office, which back in the day was a lot.

Jumping into Part VII now. A movie raped by producers. Characters & kills omitted entirely. I guess Paramount didn't have the balls to go that graphic. Ratings exist for the reason of letting the viewer decide if they themselves have the balls to watch a mere film. If a movie is rated R for radical, then let the movie be radical. There was no need to dumb it down.

Best French Horrors

Give your top 10

Litan (1982)
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Miss Osbourne (1981)
Diabolique (1955)
Maléfique (2002)
And Soon the Darkness (1970)
Eyes Without a Face (1960)
Possession (1981)
Night of Death (1980)
Baby Blood (1990)

Blood and Roses (1960)