1883, that western show

There's another Yellowstone spin-off watched. Very bleak and depressing. Ever see that movie A Million Ways to Die in the West? It's a lot like that. A group fleeing the lawless Fort Worth travels across the country en route to Oregon. Some of them are pioneers. Some of them are clueless foreigners. Most of them can and will die along the way.

It's never very clear as to who will carry on the Dutton family name in these shows, and I think Sheridan leaves that ambiguous on purpose. These shows act more like period pieces rather than firm continuity benchmarks, and as period pieces, they sure love to remind us how easy we have it today. If I was alive in that time, I would be dead in a week.

Country singers Tim McGraw and Faith Hill give a solid performance, as does the lead actress Isabel May. Sam Elliott is also in there, basically playing himself as he can only do, but he's cool on account of his mustache and longevity and whatnot. I guess his character isn't supposed to be a descendent of Yellowstone's Lloyd? Okay then. 😐

So yeah... good show. Where Yellowstone is more of a soap opera, these prequel shows seem to be more defined in the stories they intend to tell. Anyone debating watching these shows due to the overwhelming continuity, I can say it's safe to skip Yellowstone entirely if that part intimidates you. The prequel shows can stand on their and they're sadistic and depressing as fuck, if you like that shit. I do.

#Review

Your desert island discs

I was just listening to an episode.
In case you don't know its a radio show thats been going on for 80+ years on the BBC where each week a (famous) person chooses 8 music tracks (and a book and luxery item) so lets hear yours?

Mine: (work in process), not in order btw

1. The Gunners Dream - Pink Floyd
2. Black Waters Blowed/Engine Broke Blues - Silver Mt Zion
3. Lost on Yer Merry Way - Grandaddy
4. The Black and White - NOFX
5. Baton Rouge - Lou Reed
6. Karen Revisted - Sonic Youth
7. Massage the History - Sonic Youth
8. Script for a Jesters Tear - Marillion

And the one to choose to save would be Black Waters Blowed/Engine Broke Blues

book:
luxery item:

my top 101 trash films

Since I watched Cannibal Terror, I had to put that in my top 101 trash epics (The Beast of Yucca Flats dropped out)
What are yours? Perhaps I can get some good recs


Dünyayi kurtaran adam (1982)
Deadly Weapons (1974)
Don't Go in the Woods (1981)
Eegah (1962)
Cannibal Terror (1980)
Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)
The Weekend It Lives (1992)
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Tai Chi Warriors (2008 Video)
La figlia di Frankenstein (1971)
Night of the Demon (1980)
The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)
Dracula 3000 (2004 TV Movie)
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
The Hive (2008 TV Movie)
Lake Placid 2 (2007 TV Movie)
Troll 2 (1990)
A.I. Assault (2006 TV Movie) / with the other one
Frankenstein's Daughter (1958)
La horripilante bestia humana (1969)
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002 Video)
Rottweiler (2004)
Il boia scarlatto / bloody pit of horror (1965)
Mr. Nanny (1993)
Santa with Muscles (1996)
Fear Chamber (1968)
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus (2009 Video)
Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000)
story of ricky Oh
legion of the dead (2001)
war wolves (2009)
house of the deadpython (2000)
The Mansion of Madness / Dr. Tarr's Torture Dungeon (1973)
Plan 9 from outer space(1959)
hercules in new york (1969)
Burial Ground (1981)
Fantasy Mission Force (1982)
Elves (1989)
razortooth (2007)
City Hunter (1993)
Rats Night of terror (1984)
All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos (2005)
blood freak (1972)
Hell of the Living Dead (1980)
Dead Fall (1993)
Mardi Gras Massacre (1978)
the brainiac(1962)
Teenagers from outerspace (1959)
Nightbeast(1982)
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)
redneck zombies (1989)
the wild woman of wongo(1958)
Burial of the Rats (1995)
Hard Rock zombies (1985)
Tongan Ninja
Mardi Gras Massacre (1978)
The Body Shop (1973)
raw force (1982)
blood thirst (1971)
The Last Slumber Party (1988)
Bog (1983)
a night to dismember(1983)
children of the living dead(2001)
The Dragon Lives Again (1977)
mesa of lost woman(1953)
the love butcher(1975)
freeway maniac (1989)
McCinsey's Island (1998)
Shriek of the mutilated (1974)
Horror House on Hiway Five
Frankensteins Island (1981)
teenagers from outerspace
Beyond the 7th Door (1987)
Ozone! Attack of the Redneck Mutants (1986)
Violent Shit 3 - Infantry of Doom (1999)
Death Car on the Freeway (1979)
Robot Monster (1953)
Wheeler(1975)
Cruel Jaws (1995)
The Curious Dr. Humpp (1969)
Plankton (1994)
R.O.T.O.R (1987)
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987)
The Pumaman(1980)
Howling: New Moon Rising (1995)
Mahakaal aka The Monster (1993)
Dr. Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks
Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story (2004)
The Item (1999)
Devil Story (1985)
The Crawling Terror
Samurai Cop
Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)
The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
I Don't Want to Be Born (1975)
Scream for Help (1984)
Psychocop (1989)
Die Hard Dracula(1998)
Dracula (The Dirty Old Man) (1969)
The Worm Eaters (1977)

Maggie (2015)

I'm not seeing any posts about this movie. Sorry, if I'm missing any. Anyway, Maggie is a zombie near-apocalypse story featuring Arnold Schwartzenegger. But, it's not what you might have expected, if that was all you knew about it going into it.

The idea is, there is a sort of slow-moving zombie apocalypse going on. People get bitten, and they turn into zombies, but the transformation takes much longer than in most of these movies. I think they said it takes six to eight weeks for someone to turn. In this movie, the action takes place over the course of about a month or six weeks, if I have this right. We are told that Arnold's character has spent two weeks looking for his daughter after she was bitten, prior to the beginning of the movie. She ran away from home so as to keep her family safe from her, as she changed, but Arnold was having none of that, so he hunted her down and brought her home so they could enjoy as much time as possible as a family before she totally zombied out. "Home" is an isolated house surrounded by fields and some woods, in farm country, supposedly somewhere in Missouri or eastern Kansas. The house reminded me of Melinda Dillon's character's house, in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

The US (possibly the whole world) is clearly in pretty rough shape, in this movie, but it isn't in a state of total anarchy. Hospitals still function, most people still seem to be employed, the police (or at least the local rural sheriff) are/is still doing their/his job, etc etc etc. But, there are zombies here and there, and they are biting enough people that the plague keeps moving along. It looks like probably the vast majority of people are uninfected and going about their lives, but enough people are infected that it does affect people's lives, at least a little. Sayyy... maybe three or four percent of the country is infected? Something like that.

When the authorities learn that someone is infected, their job seems to be to go get that person, and take them to a quarantine facility. But, the quarantine facilities are absolute nightmares, where they just stash all the infected people in close quarters together, even the ones who are still very early in the progress of the disease. Beause the quarantine facilities suck THAT MUCH, lots of people choose to keep their infected family members at home, and just keep it a secret. They try to keep an eye on the infected family members. But, of course, things aften go wrong, because it is not possible to foresee precisely when someone will completely zombie out. So, the disease continues to exist and spread, although it doesn't spread as fast as it could because at least people are aware of what is happening.

The story is mostly sort of a dual character study of Arnold and his infected daughter Maggie, who is played excellently, I thought, by Abigail Breslin. It is about their father/daughter love, and how they try to maintain their bond for as long as possible, as the disease progresses inexorably. There is never any talk about a cure, it is just known from the outset that Maggie is doomed. You just root for her to have as normal a ife as possible, for as long as possible, and you root for Arnold to have the chance to be as good a dad as the situation allows for him to be.

The mood, or the atmosphere of this movie, seems to be what they wanted to develop the most here. It is usually sad, and mostly thoughtful, with only a little gratuitous violence and gore. There is some of both, but not too too too much of either. For me, the sombre mood kept making me think of Stake Land (2010), or even of the very sad post-nuclear war TV-movie Testament (1983). In a bizarre way, I was also reminded of Leaving Las Vegas (1995), just in the sense that one of the main characters is known to be doomed right from the beginning, and you are just supposed to accept that and deal with it.

There are some really memorable moments... I'm not sure if I should talk about them, because they could spoil things. I will just say that you should keep an eye out for signs and symptoms of Maggie's gradual zombification. Some of them are subtle, and they aren't always announced explicitly.

I just thought it was a moving, sad movie, and not at all what I expected from an Arnold S zombie apocalypse movie. I mean, come on. But, I respect the movie, and I have to say I respect both Arnold and Abigail B for choosing to do it. Joely Richardson is in this too, as the stepmother, by the way! I wanted to say more about her, but it would probably get a bit spoilery if I said too much about her scenes.

Anyway, yeah. Interesting stuff. If you want to try something a bit different, you could do a lot worse. Two thumbs up from Tommix.

The Most Ridiculous Movies you Know

What are some movies that you can think of that are just completely ridiculous, have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, yet you watch them anyway, now and then, much like I am watching Weekend at Bernie's right now?

I'll start.
-- Weekend at Bernie's
-- Tammy and the T-Rex (Terry Keiser again! A two-fer)
-- Beerfest

Was Lovecraft really that great?

I should start by saying that Re-Animator is a top 5 movie of all time for me. So I can't really disparage all that he's done. I also love From Beyond and Dagon. And that's about it. So I guess it's really only Stuart Gordon's adaptations of his works that I like.

As far as his writings, I find it difficult to get through an entire sentence without falling asleep. Now this stuff was written like a hundred years ago, so you might just be able to say that it was a different time, and writing was different back then. It's just my modern millennial brain that can't comprehend the nuances or whatever.

But here's the thing. The things I always see Lovecraft praised for, is how he can't even describe what his monsters look like. People are always saying how great his work is because he leaves it up to your imagination. Saying shit like, "it was so horrifying that it was beyond description."

I'm sorry, but how the fuck is that good writing? You're not even able to describe the thing you're talking about? What if I were to tell a joke, and instead of giving you a punchline, I just told you that the conclusion was so funny I couldn't even describe it? Would you laugh? That's a bunch of fucking bullshit! A writer's job is to describe things. Just telling the reader to make it up themselves is as lazy you can possibly get.

2023 Trash Challenge Results 

No offense, but after watching some of you motherfuckers bastardizing this challenge with so many mainstream movies, I felt I had no choice but to destroy you all. I'm sure you understand. I appreciate your participation, nonetheless, and hope you join me for Trash Challenge VIII.

Tromafreak - 516 Points
Ballz - 231 Points
Box_A_Hair - 174 Points
OnyxHades - 133 Points
NoseOfNicko - 91 Points
Zed - 78 Points
Deferenz - 73 Points
ZombieCPA - 26 Points
Johan_WoW - 16 Points
Markus-San - 7 Points

Any recs or warnings? Any worthwhile discoveries or garbage movies you feel even the extra point didn't make it worth it?

Early on, I watched a pretty sweet Italian exploitation movie called Beastiality which included some pretty funny dog fucking. Glad I listened to Onyx and put in that Beastiality point.

Emanuelle: Queen Of The Desert was a pleasant surprise. As was Zombie VIII. Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead wasn't bad, although, got a a tad silly for my taste.

Fuck Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama 2.
Don't Fuck In The Woods 2 sucked.
Birdemic 3 was a letdown. It's basically the original movie all over again, but not in a good way.Vampire On Bikini Beach was some worthless bullshit.

So, in closing, I watched a woman fuck a dog, a cannibal fuck a hog, several people fuck their parents against their will, a degenerate suck his own dick, Tommy Chong piss on a cop's leg, several buttholes get fingered, Otis throw a tantrum over a broken video camera, Divine get raped by a giant lobster, Chesty Morgan murdering some dudes with her uncomfortably large sacks of chest fat. Plus, some retards did stuff. Clearly a very productive month for me. How 'bout you?

Dead Dicks (2019)

A man keeps failing at suicide, because every time he dies, he is reborn through the big vagina on his wall. He and his sister are having trouble disposing of his dead bodies, as they keep piling up.

Recommended for lovers of the bizarre. Now playing on Tubi.

Movies with Mock Commercials for products or for other (non-existent) movies

Sorry, I've been a little over-caffeinated lately, just in general... I need to get that under control, and resume my normal, fairly sedate pace of posting stuff.

But, what are some movies that fit the above description? I can think a few right away, but there must be a lot that I don't know about.

Here's my starter list:

-- The Running Man
-- Robocop
-- The Stuff (of course. Basically the whole movie).
-- Blow Out (1981, the John Travolta movie) (if you look at the walls of John Travolta's workplace, posters are visible for several imaginary early 80s horror movies. I just vaguely remember that they were sort of clever).
-- M3gan
-- Repo Man (1984)(well, sort of. Not really, but Repo Man mocks the entire idea of advertising and brand names for anything. In the scenes in stores, there are canned goods with white paper wrappers that just say "Food," Drink," etc).
-- Shaun of the Dead (towards the end, they show Shaun channel surfing after the apocalypse has been brought under control, and the zombies are semi-domesticated. They have ads for a few imaginary TV shows involving tamed zombies).

I'm sure I'm missing some really big ones. Anybody have anything that leaps to mind?

Animation mini-challenge - Easter 2023

It's that annoying wonderful time of the year for parents like me when kids are off school for the Easter holidays so hey what better way to keep them occupied by watching some cartoons together - kiddy suitable of course, or otherwise...

Rules:

- You get one point per minute watched.

- All forms of animation count, including live action mixed with animation, i.e. Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

- Feature length, TV shows, shorts - they all count.

- The challenge will run from 00:00 1st April and last until 23:59 on Sunday 16th April - But it can always be extended if folks wish.

Mark your SPOT below!

https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/823440303646988829/057D4CB42766804CD18CC5E9850FCC6B2C9B9388/?imw=5000&imh=5000&ima=fit&impolicy=Letterbox&imcolor=%23000000&letterbox=false