Class of 1999

Mark L. Lester directed both Class of 1984 (1982) and Class of 1999 (1990), but this one can stand on its own. In the crime dystopian future of gang violence in schools, Principal Malcolm McDowell joins forces with weird-eyed banana-eating government scientist Stacy Keach to test out these violent new teaching androids, played by Patrick Kilpatrick, Pam Grier, and John P. Ryan.

Bradley Gregg (puppet guy in Elm Street 3) plays our prison-paroled high school student battling rival gangs, junkies, security beatdowns, and a budding romance with the principal's daughter. What a cool guy.

Alas for him (thus fun for us), these teachers waste no time turning to violence as discipline, and when computers are involved, things should always go wrong to make the story interesting, and it is a fun romp. EDUCATE? DISCIPLINE? It should be 50/50, but it's more often than not DISCIPLINE.

This movie definitely had Terminator vibes toward the end. Robot endoskeletons fighting people in a factory setting? Check. I also love Patrick Kilpatrick as a villain. He ended up giving a solid portrayal as an actual T-800 in TSCC about 20 years after this movie. I also remember some sites using stills of him from this movie as a depiction of the T-600 before, which isn't too far off.

Pam Grier and John P. Ryan also seem to enjoy themselves in the role, playing smug sadistic robots. For some reason, these robots are programmed to enjoy it, adding an extra layer of weirdness. Ah, the old movies of dystopian futures past... don't you miss 'em?

#Review

Something I hate about vampires...

Now this is something that was started with the likes of "From Dusk Till Dawn" and the Buffy tv show, but I've always hated when a vampire goes into kill mode and its face changes into some wrinkly ugly monster face. It's FUCKING STUPID. That is all.

The best dark animations

When flipping through channels on TV I caught a quiz. One of the candidates was apparently a huge Disney fan visiting Disneyland (in Paris) once a month. When the quizmaster asked him if there were Disney movies he didn't like, he replied there were a few he didn't like that much. When asked for an example, I would have expected him to say the (IMO) unwatchable Song of the South, but no. He mentioned 'The Black Cauldron'. Maybe not that surprising that he picked it, seems like die hard Disney fans and the company itself do their best to keep movie as obscure as possible. Yeah ok the movie has really some pacing and continuity problems. In my opinion that is not due to bad writing but censorship. And as usual there is the obligatory sidekick (but the level of annoyance is tolerable) Despite this it still delivers a solid dark story atypical for the Disney company.
Fits in the sword and sorcery I guess, Box

The 80s brought a few other darker animations which I love to revisit when I'm getting tired of these zippy da do dah happy stuff blown in my face:

Fire & Ice: another one that fits the sword & sorcery bill well I think, no nudity but Teegra's outfit leaves little to the imagination, Darkwolf is an awesome character too

The Last Unicorn: maybe not the most developed story and characters but one of the first animations that always stuck with me since I saw it as a child on TV (in German actually), that scene with the tree was pretty disturbing though

Secret of NIMH: One of the first animations I saw on VHS, when we didn't have a VCR yet and had to rent that as well, silliness is kept to minimum. Not as dark as Watership Down but nice dark atmosphere from Don Bluth

The Great Mouse Detective: like NIMH starring mice and rats this one I actually saw in theatre before I saw the aforementioned. Based on Basil of Baker Street, it has this dark Victorian style I love. A rather gruesome scene where a cat eats a mouse (only seen in the shadow but shocking nevertheless)

The Dark Crystal: not really animation but it's hard to call this live action either. Also seen as rental first. Has some really creepy scenes with essence sucked from poor peaceful beings, an emperor that literally falls apart

Not 80s:

The Rescuers: Yeah the alligators are hilarious while they should be scary but the swamp delivers the dark atmosphere and Medusa is one of the creepiest female villains IMO

Coraline: unlike Monster House and The Corpse Bride which focuses more on weirdness and silliness, this modern digital animation delivers a dark atmosphere and story, the idea of sewing buttons on replacing one's eyes, sounds really cruel, Coraline's other mother she really is scary

Any others that should be added to the list?

Situation in Afghanistan reminds you of...?

There are movies about the general type of situation that is going on in Afghanistan right now. I can think of a few. Anyone have any more? Here are the ones that I have thought of so far.

Argo (2012) Iran goes crazy, people need to be rescued.
No Escape (2015) A fictional, unnamed country in southeast Asia goes crazy, people need to escape or be rescued.
The Year of Living Dangerously (1982) Indonesia goes crazy, people need to escape.
The Killing Fields (1984) Cambodia goes crazy, people need to escape.
Hotel Rwanda (2004) Rwanda goes crazy, people need to escape, be rescued, and/or be hidden.
Schindler's List (1993) Germany goes crazy, people need to escape, be rescued, and/or be hidden.
Charlie Wilson's War (2007), of course. Afghanistan goes crazy (most relevantly for us now, the scenes right toward the end)... they don't deal too much with people needing to escape, in the movie.
Missing (1982), sort of. Chile goes crazy, and some people don't make it out.
The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988), sort of. Haiti goes crazy, off and on, throughout the movie. The political upheaval stuff is kind of in the background, in some ways... most of us just remember the really creepy parts. There are scenes about the political stuff though.


I'm pretty sure everyone here can follow the pattern I am looking for here, ha ha. Anyone got any other good ones to mention?

The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984)

More swords and sorcery shit for you. Don't watch it because of David Carradine's unconvincing swordplay. Watch it because Maria Socas is topless throughout the whole damn thing. What a babe.

Also, there's a chick with 4 boobs.

Film Characters you HATE!

I'm watching Casino and I really hate Sharon Stone's character in this. The epitome of a horrendous bitch! Sometimes, an actor can do such a good job at playing an unlikable character that you actually start to hate them in real life.

Who do YOU hate?

Swords and Sorcery movies

I just watched Deathstalker, which was kinda meh. I look forward to the sequel though since it's a Wynorski flick, but who knows about the later ones.

My favorite of this subgenre are Army of Darkness, Beastmaster, Conan 1 (and 2!?), and Monty Python's Holy Grail. I couldn't care less for Lord off the Rings though. That shit is boring to me.

What say ye, peasants?

The Art of Self-Defense 2019

This movie came and went in the theaters pretty quickly, so there wasn't much buzz on it. Eisenberg plays an awkward office nerd who gets beatdown by thugs one night and decides to better himself by taking a karate class.

I think Cobra Kai was making karate cool again, but this movie never seemed very cool by the looks of it, but then again, that's because Eisenberg himself is never supposed to play cool guys. I'm not very cool either, so I could sympathize with his pathetic tendencies to avoid conflicts. I actually found myself invested pretty early on, and it only got more interesting. Especially when the movie takes a dark turn in its second half.


Well, I liked it. Plus, it has Imogen Poots. Her name is funny, AND she's a good actress.

#Review

Thursday the 12th!!

Do you ever get sick of watching Jason movies on Friday the 13th? I don't.

And is "Saturday the 14th" any good?

Trash Challenge V: Who Cares If We Fail?




Well, it's about that time again. Trash Epics' signature movie challenge is about to have a fifth go around. That means it's time to start preparing for an offensive, so bad, it's good, exploitation clusterfuck of a March. What are we into these days? Giallos? Cannibal epics? Shockumentaries? Sick, Japanese gorefests? You name it and it counts, because the Trash Challenge is back!

As always, it'll be one point for every trashy quality below. It doesn't have to be a significant amount of anything. As long as it exists.


Nudity

Gore

Rape

Hardcore Penetration

Incest

Drug Use

Cannibalism

Intentionally Bad Qualities

Video Nasties - Any movie to ever appear on this list.

SOV - Anything shot-on-video from the 80's and 90's, or beyond, if you know of anything.

Beastiality

Necrophilia

Racism - One point for racist characters, or any type of blatant racism expressed.

Retards - Any characters who appears to be mentally handicapped is good for a point.

Garbage Point - One point earned if you genuinely hate the movie and have a difficult time making it through.

FTV (First Time Viewing)

NEW

Pleasure Point - One point earned for each orgasm you provide for yourself whilst viewing a trash epic.


And then, there's the Trifectas. Instead of using directors and series, the Trash Challenge trifectas are all about the old Exploitation sub genres.

Sexploitation, Blaxploitation, Hixploitation, Nazisploitation, Bikersploitation, Canuxploitation, Ozploitation, Nunsploitation, Rape/Revenge, Lezbo-Vamp, Women In Prison, Jungle Cannibal Epics, Mondo/Shockumentaries, Nudie Cuties, Giallos, Throwbacks


3 in a row from any of the above sploitations will count as a trifecta.

A movie can only count towards one trifecta.

Single Trifecta - 5 points

Double Trifecta - 7 points

Triple Trifecta - 9 points

Etc.


Films must run no less than 40 minutes to count.

This challenge will be for the month of March.

Good fucking luck!

I https://trashepics.com/post/9/105/
II https://trashepics.com/post/9/186/
III https://trashepics.com/post/9/229/
IV https://trashepics.com/post/9/236/